65 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hanna December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

20th July 2011:
GOD I LOVE THIS STORY! :D you write in such a capturing way, I couldn't stop reading... :o hurry up with the next chapter! ;)

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Review #2, by PixiePower December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

3rd June 2011:
But you can't leave it there! I must know more!

I love the characterisation of James - it's quite easy to go too far in the 'big headed ego' direction or the 'brooding sensitive soul' direction, but you're managing a really good balance!

Also, this is addictive. Can't wait to see more!

xxP

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Review #3, by Rumbleroar goes roar December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

13th January 2011:
Omg you must update son! I really can't wait to read more. This is one of my favourite stories and I must know what happens!!!

LOVE IT!!! = D
10/10

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Review #4, by Rumbleroar goes roar December the 3rd: Five Months, Three Weeks, and One Day

13th January 2011:
Awww I love it so much! You're a fantastic writer!

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Review #5, by Rumbleroar goes roar November the 19th: Five Months, One Week, and Two Days

13th January 2011:
Love it!!! Love the James and Lily interactions!

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Review #6, by Serendipityyyy December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

9th January 2011:
I love this story so much I only just discovered it like a day ago and i'm obsessed! keep up the good work! :)

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Review #7, by Rumbleroar goes roar November the 5th: Four Months, Three Weeks, and Five Days

3rd January 2011:
Aww! Hehe I loved it. Really funny and cute. I love your James. He's adorable ^^

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Review #8, by Rumbleroar goes roar October the 23rd: Four Months, One Week, and Six Days

2nd January 2011:
Wow I really liked it! Good job ^.^ I'm off to read more!

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Review #9, by Marilyn_James December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

23rd November 2010:
Heyy!
I just started Reading this today, and itís sooo good! Seriously! Iím already addicted!
You make the characters so believable, and the detail you use is incredible, Iím thoroughly gripped and can not wait for the next instalment!!

Also I love the character Marlene! Sheís so similar to the Marlene McKinnon in Bella E Bís ďThe memory boxĒ itís uncanny!!!

I will be favouriting and waiting (im)patiently for the next chapter!


10/10 :D

Mj

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Review #10, by onestop_hpfan18 November the 19th: Five Months, One Week, and Two Days

10th September 2010:
Hi, back again as promised to review ch. 3. Also, just to let you know, I only review three chapters per request so if you'd like me to continue reviewing you know where you can find my review thread on TGS. Now, on to the review.

This story is seriously getting better the further in it gets, and I love the interaction between James and Lily, and how James isn't constantly asking her out as we know from the books that he stopped being so persistent in their 7th year. Also, still loving the descriptive wording and strong voice and character you've given Lily. Keep up the excellent writing! 10/10

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Review #11, by onestop_hpfan18 November the 5th: Four Months, Three Weeks, and Five Days

10th September 2010:
Hi, back to review chapter 2 as promised that I would. I liked this chapter even more than the first. The characters and plot are developing quite well, and I especially enjoyed the little scene in which the Marauders (minus James) are comically poking fun at Lily. Then Lily's reaction to James being on a date with Mafalda was quite hilariously funny and well put.

There were a couple spelling mistakes I noticed; the first being where you wrote '...signing soprano...' when it is clear you meant '...singing soprano...' and then up near the top I noticed you spelled dessert like desert, which has an entirely different meaning than the dessert one eats.

Other than that, though, there isn't anything I saw that needed critiquing. I did, however, enjoy how you describe things based on what could very well be historical events in the magical world. It's nice to read a bit about the history, even if it's in a way enhancing the humour of the situation, which makes it all the more enjoyable to read. Over all, another great chapter. :)

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Review #12, by onestop_hpfan18 October the 23rd: Four Months, One Week, and Six Days

10th September 2010:
Hi, Leslie from TGS here to review as requested (albeit late). RL just would not slow down, but I'm here to review now, finally. Now, to start off, I really liked this first chapter as you did an excellent job introducing Lily into the story. I love how you've characterised her as it truly is exactly as I imagined her to be in my own mind, it's like you brought her to life from all that we discovered about her characteristic traits from the books. Not to mention, the voice you've given her is very distinct and clear, it was seriously like she was talking to the readers instead of the readers reading her, which is what I love the most about multi-dimensional characters that they have their own voices while telling their stories. The fiction, or in this case fanfiction, becames more realistic as it should be.

Also, I liked how you already characterised James, even though we only saw a flash of him at the end of this chapter. You did a great job describing him in thought and dialogue between Lily and Marlene. I also like how you've drawn up Marlene's characterisation and how she interacts with Lily, too. Over all, this is an excellently worded chapter with well descriptive tones that moves the story along in the most intriguing and interactive way for the readers (or at least for me). Keep up the great writing and now I'm off to read the next chapter!

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Review #13, by Blue Biro December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

27th August 2010:
aw, i feel So bad for Lily, urgh, she did make a wrogn decision in saying that about her friend, but that whole thing with James was heartbreaking! but on the plus side, he obviously left hints of still liking her, when he asked her if she had any other reason!
loved the chapter, best yet!
pleasepleaseplease update soon, im begging you!
your BIGGEST ever fan becky ;p
468736478623746872364762374682736487263487236/10!
you rock!
:) x

Author's Response: I suppose that's one possible reason James asked her that question...;) I can't tell how much I appreciate your exuberant reviews; they really put a smile on my face! The next chapter is currently being written - it's coming a bit slowly but I promise to have it up ASAP. I feel motivated to complete it when reviewers like you are so enthusastic. So thank you for that :)

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Review #14, by Blue Biro December the 3rd: Five Months, Three Weeks, and One Day

27th August 2010:
aw, poor Lily! stupid Marlene! even if she is a nice person and Lily's friend.
loved (L-O-V-E-D) the chapter! ive favoiurited this story and will favourite you as soon as im done reading!
im in love with your writing!
you're fanatstic!
becky (your biggest fan) ;p
amazing!
:)
oh, 100 BILLION/10!

Author's Response: Marlene may not be as one-sided as she appears here; I promise, in the end, she'll have Lily's best interests at heart :) Thank you so much for another great review! You're the fantastic one :) Seriously!

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Review #15, by Blue Biro November the 19th: Five Months, One Week, and Two Days

27th August 2010:
YAY! WOO! FINALY! took her long enough! jeez! i was about ready to smash her pretty little head girl head against the nearest solid object ;p
cant wait to read more! :)
you rock!
becky ;p
1 million/10! yes THAT brilliant!

Author's Response: Haha, that bit about smashing Lily's head made me laugh out loud. I'm glad you're so emotionally invested in the fate of she and James that you'd be willing to resort to violence :P Thank you for your kind words :) You rock!

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Review #16, by Blue Biro November the 5th: Four Months, Three Weeks, and Five Days

27th August 2010:
heheh, she is SO in denial, its funny ;p
aw, james seems nice! and hot of course :)
loved it! jees, it's only been 2 chapter and im hooked!
youre writing is amazing and you rock!
fanatstic!
your fan becky ;p
100/10!

Author's Response: Da Nile - it ain't just a river in Egypt :P Yes, Lily does seem to be struggling with some repressed feelings, eh? I'm so happy to hear you've been hooked, and thank you very much for everything you've said! You're too kind, really :) I'm glad to have a fan like you!

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Review #17, by Blue Biro October the 23rd: Four Months, One Week, and Six Days

27th August 2010:
aw, poor Lily, denial much? heheh, i LOVE the plot line you have here, i'll admit, im not ususaly one for Lily/James fics, their just not my thing, but this is genius ;p

the whole, counting the time ting, and Lily's genuinly halarious reaction to the whole thing is amazing!

you are a fantastic writer! please give up whatever you do and become a professional author :)

i really am addicted to this fic, and it's only been 1 chapter!
well, cant wait to read more!
you rock! (fact!)

your newest fan becky ;p
amazing!
10/10! :)

Author's Response: Wow, have I successfully turned a non-J/L-er? This is exciting :) I'm so happy you're enjoying the story thus far! Unfortunately, what I'm doing right now is being a university student, so I'm not really in a position to give it up :P Thought hopefully I will be able to become some sort of author one day! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review :)

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Review #18, by shenanigan December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

26th August 2010:
Quit your day job and become a published writer immediately! Seriously, I love this story. It's a perfect mixture of wit, romance, and just a hint of drama. I'm addicted :)

Update soon! 10/10

Author's Response: Ah, thank you SO much! Seriously, I'm such a big fan of your work (Clash has me in stitches at practically every other word), so forgive me if I'm a wee bit starstruck. Quit my day job, if only I could - but I am just a poor college freshman :P I'm glad I've got you hooked, and seriously, this review left me grinning like a crazy person :D

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Review #19, by JilyRonks December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

25th August 2010:
ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT !
It has to be the best James/Lily Story i have ever read
JilyRonks x

Author's Response: Wow! That's quite a compliment. Thank you very much, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far :)

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Review #20, by Karley S. December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

22nd August 2010:
I absolutly love this story! It's not like some of the fanfictions I read where get bored within minutes. It has a lot of wit and character. Plus, who doesn't love all the sexual tension between the two, main characters? I can't wait for the next chapter (which I hope will be posted ASAP)! A jealous James=a very content Me!

Author's Response: Whew, I'm certainly glad I'm not boring you! And I agree, who can resist delicious Lily/James UST? Not me, that's for sure ;) The next chapter will be posted ASAP, but just how soon that is I can't vouch for. Hopefully it will be in the queue within the week! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)

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Review #21, by Aqua Sulis December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

21st August 2010:
Hey, yah Lily did dig herself a pretty deep hole. I didn't think it was too OOC as you said love makes you do crazy things not all of them good. I would really love to know what was going through James's mind during those few moments before he asked Lily if there was a reason why she didn't want him to ask Marlene to Slughorns party. Anywho, loved the chapter and can't wait for the next.

Author's Response: I promise you will know what was going through James' mind...eventually ;) I am glad you picked up on that, though! It was quite peculiar of him, wasn't it? Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I'm very happy you didn't find Lily too terribly OOC!

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Review #22, by myself October the 23rd: Four Months, One Week, and Six Days

21st August 2010:
really, stop trying too hard. it's okay if your vocab isn't fantastic because its really only the story that counts. in fact, i would say the use of such vocab takes away from the actual plot.

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Review #23, by krazyboutharryginny December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

19th August 2010:
OH NOOO! :O Poor Lily! I did not think she was too OOC at all! I actually felt terrible for her! And I don't hate you for the chapter either. It is a good, albeit tense, chapter.

Author's Response: Phew, I'm glad you didn't find Lily too OOC! I was starting to get very worried there. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I promise Lily's life won't be so chaotic and stressful forever! But things might have to get a little worse before they can get better... ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #24, by Noisy December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

19th August 2010:
Ok, I retract some of my statements. I read the chapter over, and actually liked it lol. I'm just protective if my fictional Lily-Billy lol

Author's Response: No problem! I am glad you liked it better the second time around. Hopefully, this bit of craziness on her part will make more sense with the addition of the next chapter - and I promise the nice, sane Lily we all know and love will be coming back soon.

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Review #25, by Noisy December the 8th: Five Months, Three Weeks, and Six Days

19th August 2010:
You kind of lost me on this one :( See, Lily is my favorite character and this was just OOC. I hope you don't hate me because I love your writing style. I just shudder at the thought of my idol (Yes I have a fictional idol lol) Lily Evans, insulting her best friend and batting her eyelashes at James Potter and being just plain desperate. I found it extremely hard to read this chapter. I still love this story and stuff :)

Author's Response: I don't hate you at all! I totally appreciate constructive criticism like this, and I hope I can explain myself somewhat coherently, haha. Lily's OOC-ness is somewhat intentional in this chapter because she's supposed to have reached "her breaking point." She's under so much stress from schoolwork, N.E.W.T.s looming, and inwardly battling with herself over James (I could probably have made this clearer in the chapter itself) that she makes a poor, snap decision she's going to come to regret - and already has! I hope you felt her shame with herself was at least a little more IC. But I truly appreciate the feedback; it's definitely food for thought. I hope you will enjoy the upcoming chapters...you'll definitely see more of the "Old Lily" shining through. Thank you for your honesty, and I hope you continue to read the story!

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