Reading Reviews for The Missing Link
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by May_Diggory_Weasley The Missing Link

9th September 2011:
Ooh, yay... a story in Percy's pov, I do love him..!:)

Author's Response: thanks for the read :D

 Report Review

Review #2, by Timechild The Missing Link

7th September 2011:
Interesting fic.

It is interesting that you portrayed Percy like you did. I can see him reacting that way, but it is still fascinating to read it.

Overall, nicely done.

Author's Response: thanks :D It was supposed to be all in 1st person, but the edit hasn't gone through yet lol...

thanks for the review!
SLy


 Report Review

Review #3, by Hyenni The Missing Link

8th August 2011:
that last line just killed me.

it was lovely (in terms of writing) up until then. the emotions were very real, very tangible, the thoughts of Percy and the actions of the others very canon and understandable. then that last line just wrapped it all up and made it go from great to fantastic.

this was sad and written fabulously, so well done on such a super-duper piece!

Hyenni101, Slytherin (:

Author's Response: thanks so much :D I'm really glad you like it :D

 Report Review

Review #4, by academica The Missing Link

4th August 2011:
I really liked this little one-shot. I especially loved how George was boxing up all the joke shop merchandise by hand; that painted a very sad picture in my mind. I think you characterized all the Weasleys (and Harry and Hermione) pretty well, and the story flowed well also. I noticed a few spelling errors, like "breath" (should be "breathe") but nothing big other than that. Great job! :)

academica (Slytherin)

Author's Response: haha you're not the first one to notice my breathy errors lol...

about a year back, we started an interhouse challenge with Hufflepuff and this was my challenge so i wrote it in like 2 hrs, didn't really look over it much, just wanted it in on time

but thanks so much for the review. maybe in the future i'll rewrite it :D


 Report Review

Review #5, by slytherinchica08 The Missing Link

7th July 2011:
I really loved this piece. I think i might just have to favorite it! I think it's well written and the emotions played throughout the oneshot are amazing and you did a great job capturing each person. Ginny trying to be the strong one for her mom but then collapsing. I really love your ending. Yep...It's quiet... what i wouldnt give for one more joke. It really is a great piece and i really loved it. and I like that you did it from Percy's perspective.

Just wanted to point out really quick in this part "Sometimes it takes a day for reality to set in. sometimes it takes longer." you have a period rather then a comma. nothing huge but thought you might want to know.

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the awesome review :D

and yes, I know there's a period there. I actually did it that way to show how he has become a man of few words. Short fragments. things of the like.

again, thanks so much!

~*~sly~*~


 Report Review

Review #6, by Jenna822 The Missing Link

21st April 2011:
This was so sad. I think you got their characterization down very well, the reactions all seemed to fit the canon we know. The most heartbreaking part was the bit about George waking up and screaming at night. :( The only thing I'd say is a bit too much italics. They really aren't needed, I know that he thinking all of it, but it wouldn't disturb the story to not have them. Just kinda made it a bit hard to read. Wish there was more, it was well portrayed and touching for sure. --Jenna

Author's Response: thanks Jenna!! :D

Yea the italics got messed up in the text transfer and since I did this for an interhouse challenge that we tried to do with the Puffs, I kinda whipped it up in 2 days :P

Thanks so much for the review! :D


 Report Review

Review #7, by Ginny45 The Missing Link

23rd January 2011:
Hi! :)

I think the ending too this was very nice because it is true. Fred and George were the laughter of the house, it would take a long time for that to come back.

You write breath instead of breathe a lot but that is an easy mistake to fix. :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx

Author's Response: yea, i wrote this one quick for the Slytherin/Hufflepuff challenge we had going on... i'm pretty sure i was the only one to do it ... haha but thanks so much! :D

 Report Review

Review #8, by maskedmuggle The Missing Link

4th January 2011:
Hello! :)
I find Percy very hard to write, so I thought you did a good job with his character. His thoughts and emotions feel real, and I especially liked the last line. It really got across what he was thinking.

Nice writing :)

Author's Response: thanks so much MM, it was really difficult to write, so i'm glad it went well

 Report Review

Review #9, by pennyardelle The Missing Link

21st August 2010:
Hi, slytherangoddess! I hopped over here to review a Slytherin for the Review Fest. :) You know, I never used to think I was one for post-DH stories, but I've been proven wrong throughout this Review Fest. There are some darn good post-DH stories out there! :)

The major bit of feedback I have for this is just to go over the grammar and spelling again. There were also some instances where the verb tense switched, which was a bit jarring. I thought the actual story itself was very nice, and very emotionally-laden.

I really liked that you chose to write this from Percy's perspective. Given the entire cast of Weasleys, he probably wouldn't be everyone's first choice for this situation, but I personally think Percy is a really interesting character! And he really fits for this, because he was there when Fred died, of course. Seeing the family's grief through his eyes was a really interesting way to portray it.

Good work, and keep it up!

Author's Response: thanks very much for your response!

This story was for the mini challenge between slytherin and hufflepuff that was going on before the house cup and the deadline was really short so thats why the rushy grammar :D

but thank you for all your kind words!


 Report Review

Review #10, by lia_2390 The Missing Link

17th August 2010:
Hello!

I like the idea of having Percy's thoughts then switching to what he/the omnipotent narrator observes. It is rather strange and uneasy almost to see that the Burrow of all places, was quiet but it shows the impact of the war on that entire family.

What makes the entire thing more profound, is that it's from Percy's perspective. He's kind of the outsider, only very recently made his way back into the fold. But because it is from his point of view, it has way more impact. He has fresher eyes, so to speak. Some of the characters, he doesn't know very well, i.e. Harry and Hermione and those that he does, he still needs to reform bonds with.

I rather liked this piece. Good job =]
Lia.

Author's Response: thanks so much Lia! This one was a toughy for me cuz i never really write from Percy's perspective... Honestly, I kinda dont like him as a character... but I had to do this for a challenge :D

 Report Review

Review #11, by Northumbrian The Missing Link

15th August 2010:
This is an interesting story and you manage to capture a lot of the raw emotions of grief.
There are, unfortunately, several errors which disrupt the flow (for me at least).
A breath is a mouthful of air, when you take a breath, you breathe. you use the word breath over and over, and every time you mean breathe.
Also, the switch from Percy's first person thoughts to a third person description is, in my opinion, rather jarring. I suggest that for a story of this length you decide on either first or third person narration and stick with it throughout. Replacing "Percy" with "me" or "I" in the not italicised sections would make the story flow better.
Brilliant last line, by the way.
N

Author's Response: unfortunately, i meant to say "Breathe" but on top of all my other spelling and grammar errors, I can say it was because I hit the spell check and moved on. This story was for an interhouse challenge between Hufflepuff and Slytherin and the deadline wasn't very long from when we got the challenge, so i was very rushed...

but thank you for the feed back. i will definately be triple checking all my fics from now on :D


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login