Reading Reviews for The Play's The Thing
63 Reviews Found

Review #1, by manno_malfoy Act V

21st October 2012:
Ah, this is such a bittersweet ending for this lovely story. It's sad to hear that Arnold had died but it certainly is good to know that that has changed Herbert. He is now level-headed and bases his decisions on things other than how much glory it'd bring him. This chapter kind of made me be proud of him.

I am really, really happy I have come across this story! I stand by what I've said earlier, that it's unique and so well-written. The characters were absolutely wonderful and fleshed out to an extent that's suitable for this kind of story. And I truly love it!


Author's Response: I'm glad you found the ending "bittersweet". My hope was that Herbert wouldn't just come off as a caricature by the story's end, and hopefully the fact that he loved his brother and wanted to make him proud came across. The fact that he made you proud is great! :)

I'm really glad you came across the story as well--it's been ages since I had any reviews on it, so it's been wonderful to hear from someone who enjoyed reading it! Thank you again for the lovely reviews!

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Review #2, by manno_malfoy Act IV

21st October 2012:
OH YAY! Drama and chaos! This is absolutely hilarious! I think that, for Herbert's sake and image in his family, it's a good thing Arnold didn't show up! I really do feel sorry for him despite everything. I also believe that you described things wonderfully this chapter, especially the part where the stage began to fall apart!

And Aria! Oh my God! She stops midway through taking out her anger on Muriel to tell Drystan that he performs decently too! And she calls him 'Drystie'! I suppose it's safe to assume that he cheated on Muriel with Aria?

This has been another wonderful chapter! Time to go for the last one! :D

Author's Response: Thanks, Manno! (And again, I have to apologize for taking a while to reply. Time goes by so fast, especially with NaNo and everything else!)

I'm so happy that you found all of the chaos funny, particularly the part with the stage falling apart. My strength with humour (and let's be real, it's generous to call it a "strength") is more in clever one-liners, so writing physical comedy in a way that actually made people laugh was a challenge.

Yes, there was a secret affair going on! Lots of drama both on- and off-stage--though not the kind that Herbert wanted! :P

Thanks again!

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Review #3, by manno_malfoy Act III

4th October 2012:
Ah, Herbert is getting overly hopeful about his artistic profession again! At least this time there are proper reasons -the critic from the Daily Prophet and all! But, of course, he's unlucky enough and one of his main characters is literally throwing a fit behind the curtains. Talk about a drama. I find it funny that Muriel's the one you got to be furious before the show, considering how Herbert felt in the previous chapter that her and Drystan's performance lacks emotions. Perhaps that's why he didn't really try to interfere and see what's really happening? And honestly, the girl is freaking out and all he's thinking about is her regard for her appearance on stage? I just love him! He's just so into it all!

Anyway, I want to know what's really up with Muriel! There is something, right?

I still am really, really enjoying this and I think it truly is unique and not the sort of story you'd stumble upon often around here! Can't wait to see more!


Author's Response: The plot thickens...and yes, something is definitely up with Muriel! You'll find out in the next chapter, although there were a few cryptic clues in the scene from this chapter. The lack of emotion between her and Drystan might be a bit of foreshadowing. ;)

You do have to empathize with Herbert a bit, I think--like I said, he's well-meaning (if a little overly focused on the theatre), but luck just isn't on his side. At least, I hoped that people would feel some sympathy for him when I was writing!

Thanks again!

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Review #4, by manno_malfoy Act II

4th October 2012:
Oooh! Rehearsal chaos! I really enjoyed reading through this and seeing all the different characters you've got for the roles! And I suppose Herbert is right about looks being one main thing in show business. That makes me wonder what he looks like and if he really looked like the part he played.

I also like how Drystan, even though he looks like Sir Luckless, he's hardly like him. He has a 'sweetheart' and a crowd of girls and all. And I like Carlotta, even if she's giving poor Herbert a hard time. I do feel sorry for him a little bit though because he really was so driven and excited and then this turns out to be the best cast he can get. I feel like he's in for more disappointment! I still really like Herbert though and how he even thinks theatrically.

See you next chapter!


Author's Response: I figured that, based on the bones of the story that JKR gave, there would need to be quite a bit of rehearsal chaos. :P I'm very happy to hear you like all the different characters--again, it was hard to fit them all in without it getting confusing or overwhelming.

Poor Herbert would know first-hand about the importance of looks in this business, I think. I never actually thought about what he might have looked like in his youth, but he wouldn't have been a heartthrob, that's for sure. :P He does have a kind of naive dedication to his artistry, though.

Carlotta was one of my favourite characters in this story, actually--I didn't come up with her (she was on a Famous Wizard card and just happened to be living at the right time), but she was really funny to write.

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #5, by manno_malfoy Act I

4th October 2012:
Hello! Guess who got lost and found herself here!

I find the concept of this story really, really interesting! Hogwarts does need some art! I also love the style of the piece and how you fit in those little things that help us get to know what sort of a character Herbert is! Speaking of that, I actually find him quite entertaining! He thinks himself to be artistic and talented and I'm eager to see whether that is true or if his prose is the reason his Flitterboom stopped growing. I don't know why but Herbert seems to remind me of Lockhart a little, but we'll still see, I suppose. :)

I also like how you're dividing this into acts; it adds a little something to the overall theme!

This seems like such a fun idea to work with and I'm excited to see how things will go for Herbert from here!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for coming by to review, and an apology for taking a little while to reply. :) It's one of those times of year where it seems like there's a million things to do!

I'm glad you find the concept interesting, although I can't take credit for it entirely. JKR came up with the outline of the story, and I just took the liberty of fleshing it out. It certainly struck me as a interesting idea for a story when I first read it!

I'm glad you like Herbert as a character. I found that it was difficult to get all of the details about him in the story in a fairly short space. I suppose he does have some similarities with Lockhart, though I think Herbert is missing Lockhart's disingenuousness. ;) He's a much more well-meaning sort of fellow.

I initially intended to write this as a one-shot, but then the idea of separating it into "acts" occurred to me. I'm very happy that you liked it!

Thanks again for the review, Manno!

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Review #6, by charlottetrips Act V

30th April 2012:
I unfortunately KNEW why Arnold wasnít responding to Herbertís letters. It was a shame reading of his selfishness throughout the story and his intense focus on his own glory rather than really worrying about his brother not answering him for some time. Oh, and then reading on, I see that he dedicated his script to his brother and wants to respect his memory. Oh.

This story was funny and surprisingly bittersweet. I feel like I got to know Herbert in his temperamental artist frame of mind. Your story-telling skills are also to be admired!


Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked the story! I wasn't too sure if the subplot with Arnold was going to come off right--I thought maybe it was too subtle or something--but I'm happy to hear you picked up on it. I think that offers a good bit of dramatic irony as you're reading, which you pointed out.

Thanks again for your reviews! Much appreciated!

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Review #7, by charlottetrips Act IV

30th April 2012:
Iím laughing. This is me laughing! Oh no! Look at Herbert and his awful mess of a play! I love that all throughout this drama, his thoughts are still focused on coming out looking good and making an impression for the audience and the theatre critic.

He could only hope that his stumble might be misconstrued as a final bow. :)

Author's Response: Laughing? Actual laughing?!? Awesome. I know how hard it is to make people laugh, and I'm so happy to hear I managed it. :D

Herbert is a true artist (or maybe just self-involved) to the end!

Thanks again!

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Review #8, by charlottetrips Act III

30th April 2012:
Ah, the drama behind the curtain. Thatís actually what we live for: hearing the gossip of actors and actresses in their lives off stage. Did Muriel find out her sweetheart was cheating on her? Is she really getting into character? Is Herbert really so naÔve as to believe that?

Oh man, I hope this doesnít turn into one of those stories where Iím covering my eyes because itís so embarrassing to watch/read.

Author's Response: I think it's probably exactly what I was aiming for, if you feel too embarrassed to read! :P

So true about the behind-the-scenes drama--I read some celebrity gossip blogs, so I can relate to that feeling. It's much more interesting to find out what's going on off-stage than on, usually. :P

I don't know if Herbert is naive, but he's certainly too caught up in himself to take much notice of the daily lives of his actors. ;)

Thanks again!

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Review #9, by charlottetrips Act II

30th April 2012:
Auntie Muriel! I canít believe you stuck her in here! AND with a sweetheart?! Whoa.

This was an amusing look at some haphazard rehearsals. I could totally see it and see Herbertís own frustration with his less than talented actors. And unfortunately it is mostly true that looks are everything in the acting business. I should know considering I work with them :P

Author's Response: I thought Auntie Muriel's temperament might give Herbert some trouble, and the dates seemed to fit fairly well with canon. Why not, right? :D I tried to research some birthdates of canon characters and include them where I could. Carlotta Pinkstone, for example, is also a character JKR created.

Yes, it's a sad truth about looks in acting. My brother and sister have done a bit of acting in the past, so I know how fickle things can be if you don't look the part!

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #10, by charlottetrips Act I

30th April 2012:
Oh the travails of an ar-teest who is not understood by the plebian masses! I sympathize completely with dear Herbert! Overall a fun start. I love the style of writing here as it is so fun and really the way you write makes me want to read it aloud to some young child whoíll certainly find delight in it just as I am.

Iím also really only reading this story because your main characterís name is ďHerbert BeeryĒ :P what a fun name.

Author's Response: Oh god...I feel like a bad author, since it's now been a month since you left these, and I'm only now replying! So sorry! I really can't tell you how nice it was to receive these unexpected reviews, especially because it was around a time that I was feeling somewhat discouraged about my writing.

Anyway! Haha, I love your first couple lines there! Really captures the air I was going for with the story. :P I'm happy to hear you liked the style of the piece! It's not how I usually write, but it was indeed fun.

Well, I can't take credit for the name "Herbert Beery", since JKR came up with that one, but it is a great name, isn't it? :P

Thanks again!

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Review #11, by NaidatheRavenclaw Act I

4th March 2012:
Hello! Here with a very late QTR review!

Even though this first chapter was short, I loved every word. The style you wrote this in was absolutely incredible. It was so formal that it became comical, which I hope was what you were going for. You couldn't help but laugh a bit at this professor. He seemed so eccentric in some ways, but loveable in others.

I really love the idea for this as well. It's one of those plots that's so ripe for fanfiction, yet few people pay attention to. I'm really excited to see how the play will go on, especially as even the synopsis of it in The Tales of Beedle the Bard made me laugh. With this style, I know you'll do a brilliant job with the actual play and the fiascos that go with it.

One of my favorite parts of this was all the details you included. Just small things like the color of his dressing gown and the name of the radio show made this excellent. It showed that you were paying attention to all the little things, and that made the story ten times better.

I absolutely adored it ♥


Author's Response: Thank you so much, Naida! And I'm so sorry for taking this long to reply to your review; it was so nice to read, but it just caught me at one of the busiest times of the year. Now I can catch my breath and give you a good response!

Yes, I was absolutely trying to make it so pompous and formal that it was laughable! :D I'm glad that came across properly, and that Professor Beery was a character you could get a little bit attached to, rather than just laugh at him. This is really the only thing I've ever written that's purely to be funny, so it's nice to hear that it was successful.

I totally agree about how suited the story is for fan fiction. Ever since I had read the little note about Professor Beery in Beedle the Bard, I immediately wanted to write a story about it. (And the fact that I actually did it, and it's one of only three stories on my author page, is really a testament to how much I wanted to. :P)

Description has always come a bit less naturally to me as a writer, so it's really great to hear that the details added to the reading experience for you. I had such a specific image in my mind of the first chapter of this story, and I tried really hard to communicate it as best as I could.

Thank you again; I'm thrilled to know that you loved the chapter! :)

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Review #12, by May_Diggory_Weasley Act I

9th September 2011:
Hehe. I must read the rest of this... Herbert seems awesome... it is an amazing name..!:)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for coming by to review. :) I can't take credit for Herbert Beery's name, since he was a character created by JKR in The Tales of Beedle the Bard√ʬĬĒthough I do suppose that his personality was my doing, for better or worse!

I hope you do read the rest, and I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks again!

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Review #13, by lilypotterfan123 Act I

31st August 2011:
I said I'd give you a review, but I'm sorry its taken this long!This sounds like a good read so far! The description and flow is great and I'm already really wanting to know what happens next!! A play at hogwarts, an original idea in my opinion! Characterisation wise, because of how you've already portrayed Professor Herbert Beery, I really want to know more about him. He reminds me of a few teachers I've had in the past but music and drama teachers. Anyway, a great start!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much! And now I'm the one who needs to apologize for taking quite a while to reply to your lovely review. :)

I'm so glad you like the description! I always tend to struggle a little more with it than I do with dialogue. And in this particular story, it was tough to get it down to a short length, so knowing the flow turned out well is also very encouraging!

I can't take credit for the idea that this story is centered on, since JKR came up with it in The Tales of Beedle the Bard. It did certainly strike me as an interesting little story, though! And I'm very glad to hear Professor Beery was a realistic character...I tried my best not to make him too over the top!

Thanks again!

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Review #14, by maskedmuggle Act V

20th October 2010:
I found this a really interesting read, its something I've never read before - so it was definitely original. You made the character of Herbert quite developed for five chapters.
Your writing was really good, but I hope you won't mind me saying that I personally thought it wasn't as engaging as some of your other stories. However, I did still enjoy reading it. The play idea was pretty unique and made your story different from others I've read! :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story, and thank you so much for leaving a review. :)

It's great to hear that you thought I did well with Herbert's character. It was definitely tough for me to write something so short--even though Herbert was really developed in MY mind, it was hard to get all the detail I wanted into the story.

I don't mind that you found other stories of mine to be more engaging! I do really like this story, and it was something I wanted to write, but it was more a challenge for myself than anything else. My other stories have been more...labours of love, shall we say. ;)

Thanks again!

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Review #15, by eternalangel Act V

6th October 2010:
What a fascinating little story you have here. What I think I liked the most about this was the era that you chose to use (which is rare and thus makes this story unique) and the little details that you layered in about Herbert Beery's character. The flow and tone of this piece was very consistent and good and make reading this story effortless.

There were a few things that I wished I had seen more of and that was I wished I had seen more of Herbert and his brother's relationship, especially with what happens in the end. I think if we knew more about the brother and how much Herbert loved his brother, then I think it would make the ending that much more potent. I also wasn't quite sure what had set Muriel off. Did Aria make a pass on Muriel's boyfriend? I wasn't sure if that was what had happened.

Other than that, this was a pleasant story to read. I loved the era chosen and I loved the fact that you got in a mention about the Battle of Britain without stating it explicitly. Good work!


Author's Response: Hi eternalangelkiss! Thank you so much for coming over here and reading my story, and I apologize for taking a while to reply to you.

This entire story was more or less structured around the character of Herbert. After reading the little anecdote in The Tales of Beedle the Bard, he kind of just settled himself into my head, and didn't leave until I wrote this story. :P I'm so glad you liked the details about his character--I had so many of them that were unarticulated that I found it pretty difficult to get it all written down (especially in short space)!

One of the main flaws (perhaps THE main flaw) with this story, though, is what you've pointed out: some parts were rushed. I had never really tried to write something this short before, so my weaknesses came out and made themselves known at a few points during the story. Aria and Drystan were carrying on behind Muriel's back, so that was why they ended up duelling. ;)

Ooh, I'm so glad you picked up on that Battle of Britain reference (or lack of reference, I suppose). That was definitely deliberate, and as a history geek, I always love it when people notice that detail's significance. :D

Thanks again! I really appreciate the review and feedback.

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Review #16, by theelderwand Act V

22nd August 2010:
The mixture of humor and tragedy does work. Quite well. The dedication was to his brother, wasn't it? Sad, that he died in the war.

I would juice up the disaster on stage a bit more, but what you've got so far definitely had me laughing!

This was quite good too: "Herbert wished that the course of Shock Spells he had undergone at St. Mungo's following that traumatic holiday season had erased his memory of it entirely"

This play almost seems like its cursed, as Macbeth is rumored to be - maybe Archie just might fall into the same fate.

thanks penny for sharing this tale with us!


Author's Response: Yes, the dedication was intended to be for his brother; I'm glad that was clear. It's very reassuring to hear you think the humour and tragedy blended well together--I think I could have done it better in places, but it's very nice to hear from reviewers that they liked it.

I do think that the disaster could have been made even worse than it was--that was one thing I felt about the story even when I posted it, but I had worked on it for a while and couldn't get it to go right without really increasing the length. Still, I'm glad that what I did include made you laugh!

I certainly think that Herbert would have considered the play cursed from that day on--clearly, in the way I've written it, he was frightened enough to let his rival take the job instead!

Thank you so much for your reviews! I really appreciate them!

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Review #17, by theelderwand Act IV

22nd August 2010:
Oh NO! Drystan cheated on Muriel with Aria? O, the drama! Hehehe. Perfect! I loved that the stage caught fire and then exploded. And leave it to old Aunt Muriel to hex the professor instead of her rival. Blessed pandemonium.

So, how ARE you gonna write yourself out of this mess?

I must read on!


P.S. Now, what's up with Herbert's brother not coming? Hmmm.

Author's Response: It's funny how destructive an adolescent love triangle can be, isn't it? :P Though I suppose we can't hold them responsible for setting everything on fire.

And, as an answer to your question...I wrote myself out of it by using the lovely device of skipping ahead in time! Haha.

Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #18, by theelderwand Act III

22nd August 2010:
Daily Prophet, Charmaine Barkwith - a drama critic. this, cannot end well. hehehe.

I love that muriel has gone spare - Perfect! But who cheated on her? was it the leading man? Oh no!

I loved this:

Nothing to worry about, Professor," Aria said, smiling. "Muriel's just getting into character." LOL!

Gotta see what happens next!


P.S. I loved that you took the title of this tale from my hero Bill.

Author's Response: Everyone seems to like Aria's line! Which, of course, is fantastic. I didn't imagine that it would be so popular as it has been, but I'm not complaining. :)

Herbert's fall wouldn't be nearly as spectacular if it didn't happen in front of an audience that provided maximum embarrassment--hence the inclusion of a drama critic.

And it seemed only appropriate to reference the Bard (the real one, not Beedle) in a story about a play. Glad you liked that!


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Review #19, by theelderwand Act II

22nd August 2010:
And so the disaster begins! This is great. So, you've got a leading man who's more interested in girls than acting, a stage manager who wants to be start a revolution, a chorus that's too distracted to hit its cue, and a supporting female actress who doesn't face the audience.


This has all the earmarks of a wonderful trainwreck - the play not your story!! This is such a great idea, can't wait to see what happens next.


Author's Response: Haha, well, I'm very glad that the trainwreck didn't apply to the story, as well--given that it's kind of obscure and I tried to make it so short, it probably could have gone really badly. :P I feel very glad that I managed to pull it off well!

And, yes, nothing was really working in Herbert's favour, was it? To be fair, he's not exactly the easiest person to work with, either. I suspect he'd assume teenagers were going to be incapable of presenting his magnum opus with enough skill before even seeing them give it a try. :P

Thanks again!

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Review #20, by theelderwand Act I

22nd August 2010:
And, lo, disaster lurks over the horizon. I know this can't end well and CANT WAIT to watch it all unfold.

penny this is a great start. You've got a really good oc here, described him really well. I loved the flourish of him showing up with his robes over his dressing gown! that totally developed his character. Nicely done.

So this is taking place during WW2, I assume. Good back drop, the way you mentioned the muggle war in the begining.

Ok. off for more!


Author's Response: Hi, Eldy! Thank you for the reviews. :)

I will admit from the get-go that Herbert isn't *technically* an OC, lest you find his name on the Lexicon and think I was trying to take credit for any of JKR's genius. :P But he is sort of an OC in the sense that we have almost no details about him other than that he clearly liked the theatre. I'm so glad that all the little details helped to create a strong image of him...I definitely had him pictured so vividly, and the challenge was trying to communicate that to you guys without going on for thousands of words.

Oh, and I'm so glad you picked up on the WWII thing--I'm sure other people did, as well, but you're one of the few (perhaps the only one) that mentioned it. I figured that a war on home soil would have affected the British wizarding population in some form, even if it was technically a Muggle war. :)

Thank you again!

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Review #21, by Capella Black Act V

22nd August 2010:
Humour isn't your 'strong suit as a writer'? Could have fooled me! I do love how you've mixed the humour and tragedy in this final chapter - I had a feeling that his brother might have died, but the way you dealt with it meant that it answered the reader's questions and let the reader feel sorry for Herbert, without dwelling on it and thus causing the reader to try and be overly sad about it. Not sure that made sense, but yeah, the two work well together.

I love how you've managed to answer all the questions brought up by the reader, as well as letting us know that he did at last find out what was going on with his actors, without letting that be the only focus of the chapter. Instead, you've finished off the canon info by letting us see him refuse to ever do the play again, which works as a sweet and decisive ending point.

Really great story, and a refreshing change from all the romantic angst I normally read!

Author's Response: Well, I never considered humour to be my strong suit, but you know, I feel much more confident now. Everyone's reviews on this story have been so encouraging!

I am also really glad to hear you thought the tragedy aspect worked well--the way you explained it is really what I was trying to do. I wanted to just leave this sort of tinge of sadness that you could take away from the story, without really explaining the entire situation.

I'm really happy to hear that you felt like you walked away from this without a bunch of questions. The short length made it difficult for me to fit everything in, and so to hear that you felt like I finished it off properly is great!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I've certainly enjoyed reading all the lovely reviews you left me, so thank you so much!

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Review #22, by Capella Black Act IV

22nd August 2010:
Ooh, what did cause the explosion? Colour me intrigued! This is a another great chapter, and we really get a sense that the action is coming to a head, as the mood gets edgier despite the main character's initial ignorance.

I particularly love the final line in this story - it really highlight's Herbert's skewed priorities and need to be the consummate performer. It also helps to make us feel even sorrier for him, as despite his flaws he obviously cared deeply about how it goes, and it really couldn't be going any worse!

Also, what exactly has happened to his brother? I'm beginning to get worried now!

Author's Response: I think there's a bit of confusion about some things that happened in this chapter (my fault completely, of course). The explosion--since I never did spell it out, I don't think--was caused by the worm, which was actually an Ashwinder (a magical snake that bursts into flame after laying its eggs). You're not the only person who's been curious about what really happened with the explosion, so I think that I definitely could have handled that part better. It was tough keeping it confined to Herbert's perspective, because he obviously didn't realize that the worm was so dangerous, and probably wouldn't know even as it was happening.

I do feel a bit bad for Herbert. He was certainly a little too wrapped up in himself, which contributed to all the problems at the play, but in some ways, what happened really wasn't his fault. He didn't cause the fight between Muriel and Aria, nor was he the one who stuck a dangerous creature up on stage. It just fell down around him, and you have to feel a bit of pity for him in that regard.

Thanks again!

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Review #23, by Capella Black Act III

22nd August 2010:
Oh dear - things really don't seem to be going too well for him! Another excellent chapter. I like that you've chosen to jump straight to the night of the play - while there could well have been more stuff written about the rehearsals, this is what we all actually want to know about, and so I like that you've chosen to move the story on, rather than describing the less interesting moments. You've also managed to do so without the story feeling jumpy, which is nice.

I love the way you choose to describe the action in this scene - firstly with the misdirection of having us think Muriel has stage fright, and then by letting us readers know the true cause without Beery actually realising at all. I also am impressed by the way you gave us hints to this twist back in the last chapter (when he was flirting with soppy chorus girls) but did so in a way that meant that I never twigged until things were being thrown!

Good stuff, off to read more!

Author's Response: I feel exactly the same way about the play itself being the focal point--what information we do have is about the play itself (and what happened after), so to dwell on the rehearsals too much more would have really changed the tone of the story, I think. It would have made it less ridiculous to really delve into things and get to know the characters TOO well.

It's always so nice to have people pick up on small hints like the flirting in the last chapters. I did mean to sort of set Drystan up to have a bit of a wandering eye, but, as you said, I didn't want people to realize it too early. :)

Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #24, by mizzxpearl Act V

22nd August 2010:
Oh. :( Aw.

Yes, you did a great job mixing humor and tragedy. To be honest, I did not see that coming at ALL. Granted, I'm sleep deprived, but I usually do like to guess what's going to happen. But this totally took me by surprise. And that's a good thing.

You're a great author and this was a very enjoyable read. My very short, incoherent reviews really don't do this story justice. But I really hope that you know that I really did enjoy this story!

Keep at it, Penny! :D

Author's Response: I'm very glad to hear that you thought the humour and tragedy blended together well. I've had mixed reviews about that aspect of the story, which leads me to believe that I probably could have done better with it, but it is encouraging to have someone say that they liked it. :)

I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed the story. Your reviews definitely got that across, so thank you so much for leaving them!

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Review #25, by Capella Black Act II

22nd August 2010:
Aww, this is brilliant - you've really painted a picture of an intense director surrounded by individuals who aren't living up to his high standards. I particularly love the dialogue for this - we instantly get an image of every cast member and the events occurring, as well as a sense of the director's poorly concealed frustration.

The only area where there isn't that strong a picture painted is in the actual looks of the characters. I realise this isn't really the most important part of the story, but some simple visual markers (blond/brown/red hair, tall, stocky, etc) might help the reader differentiate between the actors being described. If they're not in the story much after this, it wouldn't matter at all, but as I'm guessing they will be, some way of linking the personality (which you've already given us a fair viewing of in a very short space) to the visual might strengthen our impressions even further.

Still, the scene itself is warm, funny, and intriguing, so am off to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed the progression of the story! And it's so fantastic to hear that you got a very clear image of Herbert's situation from this chapter. I felt like this and the next one were the ones I had the most difficulty cramming everything into (the fact that I had to "cram" probably wasn't a good sign at all).

I think you're right that I didn't do enough to distinguish the different actors from one another. Someone in a previous review said that whole part was a bit difficult to follow. It really was a challenge for me to try and cut everything down to such few words, and there are definitely places throughout the story that my struggle is obvious. :P Thanks so much for the feedback on that part, and for another review in general!

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