Reading Reviews for Worthy
  
53 Reviews Found

Review #1, by books28 Tea Talk

12th September 2010:
Aaahhh!! There aren't anymore chapters! I WANT TO READ ON! Oh well, I'll just have to wait. As always an excellent written chapter, I like how Pansy has been introduced into the mix and she is a lesbian- nice idea!

I love the tea room. I have a perfect picture in my head where my mother and I used to go when I was little. The descriptions are stunning! One little thing, near the beginning I think there is a typo: you have written 'stuff' instead of 'stiff'.

Amazing! Please update soon!

scorpiusandrose

Author's Response: Thanks so much for another happy review! I'm really glad you enjoyed Pansy's showing up. I was really excited to bring her into the mix, she's a great opposite to Draco, they're a lot of fun on the page. I'll let you know when I update. Thanks for reading!

BB


 Report Review

Review #2, by books28 Letters and Words

12th September 2010:
Excellent as always! Interesting twist to the plot, I can't wait to read on! There was a small spelling mistake near the beginning, you put 'site' instead of 'sight'! But that is only a small mistake!

As always, beautiful emotions and an excellent development of plot and characters. The relationships are shown well. All previous comments apply!

Excellently written!

scorpiusandrose

Author's Response: Thanks! I worried about this chapter, and actually rewrote it. I wanted to make sure that it definitely moved the plot forward, but that it did some solid characterization for Astoria. I'm really happy you liked it. Thanks!

BB


 Report Review

Review #3, by books28 Sick Things

11th September 2010:
Very good! Same comments apply as always. One thing, there are a few typos in the beginning, for example you have written 'manse' instead of mansion!

All previous compliments apply. I love your style of writing, the emotions are vivid, the dialogue exciting. Descriptions seem very important and they also are done well.

Excellent, except for the typos!

scorpiusandrose

Author's Response: Darn those typo's (though manse is an actual word, another way of saying mansion, or a sprawling country estate, hehe).

I'm really glad you like the description. It's a love of mine -- like you can't tell, right?! -- and I love exploring Draco's world. Sometimes I know it can bog down the plot, but I'm working on that. Thanks for being such a solid reader!

BB


 Report Review

Review #4, by books28 The Right Choice

11th September 2010:
Oh, the descriptions in this chapter are beautiful! The emotions are brilliantly written and the story so far is very moving. The relationships are shown extremely well and I can't wait to read on! Which is why this is so quick!

I love how Goyle is in this story and he is so in-character! I have to say again that your descriptions are beautiful and so vivid! The dialogue brings all the emotions to light! The development of the story and characters is well-paced! Can't wait to read more!

Amazing chapter! Truly outstanding!

scorpiusandrose

Author's Response: Hehe, you make me feel like such a rock-star! Thanks for all your compliments. I'm really thrilled that you're enjoying this piece. I love dialogue and description, obviously, and really wanted to capture a different kind of feel for this fic. I'm super excited to have another happy reader. Thanks!

BB


 Report Review

Review #5, by books28 A Family Matter...

3rd September 2010:
Really good! I love the humour of this chapter especially in the dialogue! Sarcasm and irony are used perfectly! I just love the dialogue!

The relationships between the characters are portrayed well especially within the Malfoy family which we get to see more of. I just love the way the relationships are shown! The differences between the older generation and the younger are shown very well and this factor of the story is very interestingly explored.

The characters are well written and the element of pride is portrayed well. The coldness of the Malfoy home and family is in-keeping with the books and explored well. I love how Draco seems to be breaking away from the Malfoy tradition and really becoming his own self not controlled by his father.

The concept of arranged marriages for convenience is developing well and I especially 'love' the way that it is mentioned that maybe Astoria and Draco should not marry after what has happened. The plot is developing nicely and I am particularly interested in the fact that Lucius knows about the death of Astoria's father. How does he? Plus, I love the cliffhanger at the end.

In summary, I love this chapter and can't wait to read on! Nothing glaring ;).

scorpiusandrose

Author's Response: I'm so glad you loved this chapter! I did too. I knew that because I was dealing with all this 'heavy' stuff that a bit of humor would help the reader not get too bogged down. I really wanted to get into the strange elite world of the Malfoy's, so an arranged marriage seemed the right way to go :)


BB


 Report Review

Review #6, by Beene Tea Talk

2nd September 2010:
Yes! Another good chapter, the plot moves, characters come into clearer focus, and a great quote. I never thought that I'd love a Pansy Parkinson quote, but "Everyone absolutely everywhere at any possible time has time for tea" is completely true.

Very interesting background on things that happened off-camera/off-stage/off-page whatever we're calling it at Malfoy Manor. Enjoyable and a great read as always.

 Report Review

Review #7, by books28 An Ugly Ring

2nd September 2010:
Hello! I can honestly say that there is nothing 'glaring'!

This chapter is very well-written, the descriptions give you a great vision of the place. The character of Draco is well-thought out and his thoughts are portrayed well. Astoria and her family are introduced well and her character is shown well throughout the chapter.

There were a few things that caught my eye though. Firstly, the word 'sconce', I don't particularly feel that this is a word that is commonly used and therefore it could 'annoying' for readers to look it up. However, it might just be my naivety and sensitivity;)!! Secondly, I feel that Draco and Astoria's relationship is confusing as you don't quite know what 'stage' they are at. However, this again might just me and my brain!

:)I can't wait to read on!

scorpiusandrose

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing! I do know that I use some rather 'dated' language but it falls naturally into the story and I have to admit, that's probably not gonna change. I think there are some really antique elements to the world Draco lives in, and the best way to capture that is language. It is something to keep in mind, cause I don't want to loose my readers over it, hehe. Thanks for pointing it out.

I appreciate you checking out this first chapter. Thanks so much!

BB


 Report Review

Review #8, by pennyardelle The Right Choice

22nd August 2010:
Hi! Sorry it's taken me a couple days to get around to delivering your reviews. I was so glad to get a chance to come back to this story; I really enjoyed it when I read the first few chapters. :)

I'll start off with what I thought could have been improved, and I'm only doing so because there was honestly SO little that I found to be lacking in this chapter. It really was very well-written. The only thing I could really find was that the formatting was a bit odd in places: I think you were missing spaces between a few paragraphs, and in some places it seemed like there was a return between one line and the next where there shouldn't have been. I also did notice that you had misspelled Hogsmeade as "Hogsmead" in one spot. But other than that (all of which I think can be fixed pretty easily), I really couldn't find anything to criticize!

I really enjoy the way that you're portraying Draco and Astoria's relationship. It's funny, because rather than having them shoved together in a sort of arranged marriage situation, they're almost being pulled apart by their families. Of course, the marriage started out as being encouraged by their families, when they didn't really know each other, but now that they do know each other, their families are kind of pulling back. I find that really to be a refreshing take on a pureblood marriage, and a very heartfelt and human one.

Your description is as brilliant as ever. You really create such a vivid image of the characters and their surroundings, and often what isn't there is just as significant as what is: for example, you note that there is no portrait of Draco in Lucius' study, and just leave it at that. We all know what you're implying, and you could have written paragraphs about Draco and Lucius' relationship, but it wasn't needed. You have a really great sense of what to give away and what to hold back with description and explanation.

I was a little apprehensive when Draco went over to Goyle's. I was worried that, because Draco was going to see him after being jilted, both of them would come off out of character in their exchange, but I think you avoided that. I didn't feel like either of them were being overly sensitive, nor that their friendship was more than it should have been (i.e., that they shared all their deepest thoughts with each other, and that kind of thing). Goyle was still an oaf, but he was a grown-up one; he didn't lack feelings, but he didn't have an overabundance of them. I liked that their meeting was short and didn't go all that well--in fact, ending up with them sort of arguing. I thought that part was really well-written.

Author's Response: Hi Pennyardelle, I'm so glad to see new reviews by you! They always make my day!

I definitely wanted a different take with the whole Pureblood marriage thing. The concept of an arranged marriage is so common it's nearly passe' and I didn't want this story to just be another cliche Draco fic. I love the idea of these two people struggling to be together while very one around them is struggling to pull them apart. Definitely makes for good reading.

I also wanted to bring in some new fresh writing with Goyle. I knew Draco would need to stay in touch with only a few very number of people from his schools days, and Goyle seemed like a natural choice. Writing with him has been great fun, and I'm glad you enjoyed what I've done.

I'm thrilled about this review, thank you!

BB


 Report Review

Review #9, by pennyardelle Sick Things

22nd August 2010:
This was another really enjoyable chapter. :) I like the way you're portraying Astoria's grief coming out somewhat irrationally, and I like even more how Draco is dealing with it. Your characterization of Draco is very interesting--it's really like you've taken his character in the books and kind of moulded him a little bit into a new version of himself. Sometimes I do find myself hesitating at how sensitive and introverted he tends to be, but then I always end up thinking that it does sort of fit, if you think about him in the books. And I like him the way you've written him, anyway. :)

There were a couple of phrases that I thought just weren't quite right in this chapter, though. They were very short and inconsquential; nothing to really worry about. The first was in the first paragraph, where you described Draco as a "blond son"...it felt a little awkward to have him described that way (especially since it's from his POV, and it would be odd for him to describe himself that way). The second that seemed off was when Lucius said that Draco had an "Autumn ague". Though he is old-fashioned, I felt like that came off as a little too old-fashioned.

I suppose that this chapter was more of a characterization-focused one...not much really happened, but it was still good for helping to really solidify the characterizations of the first three chapters. One thing that I find kind of nagging at me while reading is why Draco is so in love with Astoria. He spends a lot of time thinking about how much he cares for her, but I feel like he never quite hits on the reason that he's fallen for her. If that's an effect that you're deliberately trying to create, you're doing a very good job at doing so!

Excellent work! I'm going to try my very hardest to return to this story without you having to ask me to do so very soon. :)

Author's Response: Hi again :) You do have a point about some of the phrases being too old fashion. Honestly I've felt like I've really kept that line between old-world-new-world well defined without being cliche, but it means really paying attention to the writing. I feel like this chapter is a tricky one for readers because you're right, not much happens but it is vital for character development. Of course, one does want to be careful about over-development ;)

And you're a dream-reader, because you really pay attention! I'm so thrilled that you noticed the way Draco loves Astoria, but the fact that he's never come out and directly pinpointed specific reasons why. To answer your question, yes I did that on purpose. Honestly, he's not really sure himself, though it becomes clearer as the story moves along. He's about to come to a real critical point -- I'm currently working on chapter 11 -- where he'll be directly confronted. What he say's will really be the test of how much he has or has not grown up to this point.

Thanks for another great review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #10, by liza_potter The Right Choice

21st August 2010:
I'm here with another review. ^_^

I'm very fond of this chapter. It's more... intense, I suppose. Lucius suprised me. I mean, I always knew there was a high chance he was abusive. But I never thought of it that much. Still, his behavior is disgusting. I agree with Draco about Narcissa. I wish she wouldn't let him treat her in that way.

I've never thought of Goyle as a character. That sounds horrible, doesn't it? I just thought of Crabbe and Goyle as being the same: dull and slow. I don't remember reading much about Goyle, either.

Once again, I didn't catch anything wrong with the technical. :)

A very enjoyable read, I have to say. Your writing style is very unique. You've got a pretty remarkable story on your hands.

Feel free to re-request.

-Liza

Author's Response: Hello once more! You're right, this chapter is much more intense. I really wanted to kind of punch my readers in the face with the plot and the characterization. I wanted that shock factor too, with Narcissa and Lucius. They're wonderfully horrible characters. I love writing them ;)

I'm also glad you liked Goyle. He shows up again -- in chapter 11 -- and its fun flushing out his character. Thanks for all the lovely reviews!

BB


 Report Review

Review #11, by liza_potter A Family Matter...

21st August 2010:
I liked the entire conversation between Draco and Narcissa. It seemed very real, for lack of a better word. I especially enjoyed this line:
ďDraco, I donít know where you get your dramatics,Ē his mother replied, returning to her tea with a gesture. ďItís certainly not my fault, and your father hasnít got a dramatic bone in his entire body, so itís a complete mystery to my why you must always fling about your exaggerations like a two year old with a tantrum.Ē

Now that I look at it closer, I noticed the my is meant to be a me. Other than that, there are really no grammer issues.

I really like your writing style. It's a bit poetic, in a way. It suits the pureblood family wonderfully. Also, your characterization of Draco is brillant. He's a very complex character, and you really captured that with his conversation with Astoria.

Off to read the next chapter!

-Liza

Author's Response: Hi again. You're right about that little typo. I've got a lovely beta but sometimes things do slip through. Thanks for pointing it out, I would have never seen it!

I'm thrilled that you're liking the writing style. I wanted to have some of that old world theme without it being over-bearing, and of course I'm a complete sucker for description. If I could just go on and on, I would!

Thanks for a second review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #12, by liza_potter An Ugly Ring

21st August 2010:
Hello, it's lizzacc from the forums with your requested review. I really like your username, by the way. That has nothing to do with my review, but I just had to say that.

Moving on to the actual review. Surprisingly, I really liked it. I'm not a huge fan of Draco stories since I find him a hard and unpleasant character. Most writers change him drastically, which I always find annoying. Even after the war, I think Draco would stay his slimey coward self. But you really captured Draco perfectly.

I didn't pick up any grammer errors. It's always a joy to read such stories. Kudos to you for that.

Your description is amazing. It's very vivid. I can see everything you described play out in my head.

Great start!

-Liza

Author's Response: Hi Liza. Thanks for a great feel-good review! I'm so glad you liked my Draco story, especially since you're not a fan. I love being able to change reader's minds about characters and really hoped to do that with this fic. I definitely didn't want another cliche Draco story and I know I've got something different and good here.

And thank about my name (which actually happens to be Bliss!).

BB


 Report Review

Review #13, by LilyFire Snow And Sleep

21st August 2010:
Hey. LilyFire from the forums here(:
This is a really great story. I like it. I have two problem with it: 1.youíre a bit too descriptive.
Example: "His thoughts were a thin string woven of worries and vulnerable cares, angry sparks of suspicions and hurt. The hectic rise and twist and fall of his thoughts created a catís cradle in his mind until surely it must have had the look of a web, a line of unanswered hope stretching from one end only to tangle with a line of answerless questions stretching from another."
Maybe instead of using all of that, you could just use one. Like: "For nearly four days Astoria kept her silence, and in that bottomless stretch of time, Draco felt as if he might go mad with the waiting. His thoughts were a thin string woven of worries and vulnerable cares, angry sparks of suspicions and hurt. To make matters worse, Draco was sick.Ē It flows much better, and reads (is that even really a word?) much easier.
Sometimes, you need to add that much detail, but others, it just slows down the story, and thatís what is happening with this. At times, I had to just skipped entire paragraphs so I could get back to the story. There were times when youíre detail was wonderful, like:
Draco shook his head, but then his reply didnít matter because Astoria was crying. He took the canister from her, folded her against him, stretched around her, and swallowed up her tears and sorrow with his as much of his body as he could.

She wept. He wouldnít even hear her crying because her grief was too profound for wailing or sobbing. But she seemed to draw up the hurt from the deepest place in her so that it shook her whole body, and Draco could do nothing but hold onto her, lest she break into a million pieces.

Time passed, shadows lengthened, and still she cried. The candle flames in the chandelier above drowned in pools of their own melted wax, and Draco stirred the fire twice before, with a hiccup, Astoria quieted.
That is a wonderful use of you ability to describe things. And being able to describe is a talent that not everyone has. Just try to balance out the over-detail from and what really needs the detail.
Number 2: you use kinda weird words. I had to find the meaning of more than one of the words you use, and for me, that is strange because I have had a college reading level since I was in sixth grade (thats like 11-12 in America-not sure where you're from). Like the word ague. What is that? Yeah, I can understand it,s a type of sickness, but other than thatÖ
Now, to the good parts. I love you characters. Draco is still Draco-esqe. You changed him, yes, but believably so. I could imagine him like that after the war and everything. Astoria is wonderful. I love her personality. All of your characters seem true to who they are, including the cannon ones. Youíve done a great job at catching Lucius and Narcissa, which is something many people have a very hard time with.
Heís not her father? Where did that come from? That was shocking. I still can't get over itÖ And his nose is broken? Is that supposed to be from where Ron punched him during the final battle? I'm eager for chapter 7(:
You have a great story, and I can't wait to read the rest of it(: Feel free to rerequest(:
~LilyFire
P.S. It did something strange to the review, not sure why...

Author's Response: Oh my gosh. I'm sorry for not responding to this review sooner. I swore that I had, but maybe some glitch happened with submission. I noticed that happening a lot lately around the forums and archives :)~

I'm glad you came by for a read, and I can definitely understand what you mean about too much description. I actually do agree with you about that one bit, the description definitely bogs it down. But on the other hand, description is really something that sets me apart as a writer around here, so I'm not likely to give it up, hehe!

I'm also glad that you're getting into the characters. I wanted to really pump some life into them and feel like I've done that. Draco is a great character to write -- his whole family is, actually -- and I think I've gotten better as I've moved on with the writing.

Thanks for a helpful review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #14, by Beene Snow And Sleep

18th August 2010:
As always, a very well-constructed and moving chapter. I have to say that I'm very intrigued as to the rest of the plot; more importantly on a personal level, I'm interested to see how Draco's character evolves.

The nice part about this, if you stay Canon, is that we know Draco and Astoria will end up together. The fun part is finding out exactly how and when, and the particulars around the event.

I hope you have some scenes with Draco and his parents as those will definitely be interesting based on his actions in this chapter.

Once again, the only Draco story worth reading in my opinion.

Author's Response: Thanks Beene, for the review. I think you're really gonna like the next couple of chapters. In it I do a lot to explore Draco's relationship to his parents, and also to show the ways in which Draco still needs to grow up. He's gonna have to make some choices in order to make his happily-ever-after happen and what an adventure that will be!

I hope to see you back here for more!

BB


 Report Review

Review #15, by louise_loves_hp Snow And Sleep

14th August 2010:
Ok I now that in the last chapter we found out about her dad and all but I have to say that I am still shocked, I cant belive it and I cant belive Daphne grr I am so mad at her, how could she, grr
I think that its really sweet that Draco taking her to the house, but him sleeping on the floor I had to laugh a little to myself that this.
I also love the new name it just seems to fit and also it doesnt let it be Astoria story as well.
I wonder if he gets a sore back or something for sleeping on the floor...hmm

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you liked this chapter. When I started it, I wasn't sure what was gonna happen, but then Draco ended up being wonderful -- of course -- and I was really pleased by the end of it.

I hope to see you back for more. Thanks for the review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #16, by DemetersChild A Family Matter...

13th August 2010:
DemetersChild here again with your next review. ^^

Ahh, I love this! Your dialogue is so...amazing. I love the characters of Lucius and Narcissa. It really reminds me of an older version of writing, much like Rebecca (if you've ever read the novel).

I didn't really see any grammar issues, so we'll just skip over that bit. :D

I really loved that Astoria finally realized she loves Draco and how much it bothered him that she hadn't realized it before. Draco is such a conflicted character and you show that so well.

You really have a very poetic way of writing and I enjoy it very much. This story looks like it's going to really be something.

Well done!

Magically Yours,

Dem

Author's Response: Woohoo, another review. Yay!

I have actually read Rebecca and I'm thrilled by the comparison. It's been years since I've delved into that book, but some things stay with you even when you don't realize it.

And thanks for the dialogue compliment. I love dialogue. I could eat dialogue for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day of the week and still be hungry for more. It's an obsession of mine.

I really appreciate the second review and hope to see you back for more. Thanks again!

BB


 Report Review

Review #17, by DemetersChild An Ugly Ring

12th August 2010:
I know this isn't actually part of the chapter, but I wanted to make a few comments on the summary, if you don't mind.

"In a world where he is suddenly able to live and love without fear, Draco finds himself fearful that those things he does love, he may also loose." -- If he is able to live without fear, then why is he fearful? Maybe replace fearful so the sentence isn't so contradictory. Also, loose should be lose. And there's a missing N at the end of given. ^^

Anyway, on to the actual chapter! :D

Wow, gotta say I wasn't expecting your first line to be so captivating. I know it's incredibly simple, but it just caught me off guard. I love the little inserts from his mother.

In that time Draco said nothing, and his father said nothing in return. -- I love this line.

He lead her around -- led

carpet the color of old blood -- maybe dried blood would be a better way to describe this? Or old blood stains?

I love that Astoria's first words are about hating the ring! You certainly have a very poetic talent with words.

Some woman wanted jewels...some woman - well, most high-born woman... -- women; Some is plural, so woman should be in its plural form

I really enjoyed reading this story. True, it became a little slow at times, but your descriptions were beautiful and poetic. The imagery vivid.

And you managed to end it in a bit of suspense, which the rest of the chapter lacked. So, well done!

Magically Yours,

Dem

Author's Response: Hi Dem, thank you for such a specific review. I find those super helpful and all your points about the summary are especially appreciated, since I've had some issues with it. You've inspired me to work on it, or get some help, so thank you!

I'm excited that you enjoyed the language and description. All guilty pleasures I'm afraid and sometimes I worry it gets too heavy, but you seem to okay with it :)

Thank you for a lush review

BB


 Report Review

Review #18, by Sam Baxter An Ugly Ring

10th August 2010:
Hello! Here from the forums with your review, one that's very much delayed - and I apologize for that. Life latched on and just wouldn't let go of me for a while there.

Anyway, to start off, I wasn't entirely expecting to be that drawn in by this particular piece. Draco is definitely not one of my favorite characters to read about even in the best of times, but your style of writing captured him flawlessly. I was actually glad to be reading about him here. The same goes for Astoria, as well, even if I don't really have any frame of reference to make with her.

What struck me most about this chapter is your writing style. I was honestly in awe the whole time. The feel you gave to this was perfectly fitting of people such as the Malfoys, almost as if they really are stuck in a frozen period of classical time. That said, it's a bit of a heavy read if you don't truly pay attention to what you're reading.

The plot given here flowed ideally, with it not being either too fast or too slow. Setting it up for the revelation at the end was certainly a good move, as it makes me wonder what's going to come next.

This gives me proof that I should probably start reading outside of my comfort zones a bit more, so thank you for your request. If you'd like me to look over future chapters, feel free to come back and rerequest. I'll be glad to watch the developments. =)

Author's Response: Hi Sam, thank you for such a wonderful review. I hope you won't mind the delay in replying ;)

You're right, this is definitely something of a thick read. I like the easy fun no-think stuff as much as the next. There's something wonderful and fun about being taken by the hand of the author and just sort of led through the story. Unfortunately, this isn't one of those kinds of stories. It's become much...heavier than I expected, but I think this is a good thing.

I'm so glad though, that I could draw you out of your comfort zone. I can't tell you how much this thrills me. I love getting readers hooked into work they never expected to enjoy. The magic of words is that everyone jump into them and stories should really strive to do that from chapter to chapter.

I'm also hyper-excited that I've got you curious for the next chapter because I definitely plan on requesting again. I loved your review, thanks bunches!

BB


 Report Review

Review #19, by Sap The Right Choice

7th August 2010:
I apoligise for the long wait. I was doing my online class, and would have rather been here. Now that I am, I'll try to give you the best review yet. Hopefully :D

First off, Draco. I dunno if I told you this or not, but I adore him. It's rather peculiar, but I've never liked his character. He is so revolting and mislead (in most stories) it is hard to sympathize with him, but somehow, you managed to make him easy to relate to. Perhaps it is the anger he feels towards his parents? Not every kid in the world is abused the way Draco is, but the idea of their parents writing their own future for them is very common. I'd like to think of Draco as a proxy for those types of kids; he doesn't feel loved, is sometimes over-eager to please, and just wants to be happy. When you take into account how "sappy" Draco is now, it is amazing how easily connected he is to that Draco we see in the books. Like the story said, he is changing and growing up, and it isn't going to be easy.

Astoria is on that bridge to being likeable. I want her and Draco to end up together happily; in fact, I can't see Draco with any other girl. I find it hard to support her when she is pushing him off whenever he tries to help, though. I will give her the benefit of the doubt considering her father died and Daphne is an absolute cow. You continue to display the general shock well (afterall, she lost the man she was closest to). When she finally woke up and started talking to her sister, I immediately had this feeling that she was trying her hardest to be an adult when she didn't really want to. Like Draco, she must face change (I suspect she already is; after all, she confessed her love for Draco in the last chapter).

Lucius was horrid, and Narcissa wasn't much better. There is little doubt that Lucius could be possibly abusive, and you brought it alive. It was an ugly thing to read, but that also made it beautiful, because it does happen and it gives the reader hope that something will be done about it. Pulling Draco aside for the moment, it isn't right for Lucius to treat Narcissa the way he did. I'm infuriated with her because she is not taking the role of mother seriously and agreeing with her husband. I just want to say, "stand up for yourself!" She's a witch, I'm sure she could curse Lucius is it came to it. But I'm rambling.

Goyle is so mean, but in that adorable way! Although he acts macho and whatnot, he still agrees to go to the funeral of a person he doesn't even know for his friend. You even gave him an accent! It was easy for me to combine Crabbe and Goyle into one person, but now that we get a better glimpse into what Draco is thinking, I realize that Goyle is a very developed character and very fun to read (in your story, at least :D)

Once again, the description was amazing. I don't want to bore you with things you already know. What will happen next? Will Lucius be furious with Draco for leaving? Will we see more of Goyle? What is going to happen when Astoria returns?

Author's Response: Hi Sap! What a lovely surprise to find you reviewing another chapter -- thanks for taking all my requests!

This was a pretty key chapter and it feels like you got that. I definitely delve deeper into both Lucius and Astoria's characters. Lucius is a horrible man, and he was definitely violent and vendictive towards his son, but as we move forward in the story, we see that Draco has used that, grown beyond it. As for Astoria, funny enough, I'm having a hard time liking her as well. She's very...childish, and while this is a trait Draco finds attractive in her (the careless way she is is the way Draco use to be) I do wonder if she'll mature as the story goes on. I hope so!

Writing Goyle was wonderful. I've always been curious about him in the later years and couldn't resist the urge to bring him into the story. Also, I figured Draco would be really selective about the friends he kept after the Dark Lord's fall, and Goyle seemed like a natural choice.

I'm thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for a super wonderful review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #20, by fire_dragon An Ugly Ring

5th August 2010:
I think it's a lovely story so far. The writing is beautifully executed. The one thing I thought was odd. Draco is a rather spoiled child. I would think he would convince his father to get another ring before he accepted and presented the ugly one. Then again, if he hadn't accepted it, then there goes a big chapter point. Anyway, excellent work!

Author's Response: Hi fire_dragon, thanks for your review. You have an interesting point about Draco being a spoiled kid. He definitely was. But when I started writing this fan piece, I realized that in his sixth and seventh year, that kid would have drastically grown up. With everything he went through, Draco -- at least my version of him -- get's some perspective about what's really important. The ring was just a ring, but what the ring symbolized was what mattered.

I'm glad you liked this first chapter though. I hope to see you back here for more.

BB


 Report Review

Review #21, by krissyanne426 Snow And Sleep

1st August 2010:
Another good chapter.

I really liked the last little bit, especiallythe last paragraph. I think there's going to be so much going on, and I'm really interested to see how everything ends up.

I can't say I'm surprised at Daphne's behavior, but I'm dissappointed. I was kind of surprised that Draco gave in to her at the cabin.

I really like the new title, too!

Anyway, good job!
Feel free to request next time you update.

Author's Response: Woohoo, another review! Happiness!

I definitely have a lot going on and it's getting a bit hard to keep it all straight in my head. I'm glad you're enjoying the story though, that's the whole point. I really liked writing this chapter -- especially the last bit -- so I'm glad to read that you liked reading it.

Daphne's a crazy character to write. She's wicked and smart and a tab bit evil. I'm sad to say she doesn't get any better in the future, but you'll have to keep reading to see what I mean ;)

BB


 Report Review

Review #22, by krissyanne426 Letters and Words

1st August 2010:
Another good chapter.

I didn't really understand most of the second half, but I think I got the important things.

Again, there were a few typos but nothing too brutal. I thought that overall, this was a good chapter. I definitely wasn't expecting it.

Can't wait to see what else happens!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: You didn't understand the second part? Was it all the technical language? I was worried that might not go over well... I'll have to take another look.

I am glad to read that you're excited for the next bit though. I feel like I definitely pump up the tension, so yay!

Thanks for the review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #23, by krissyanne426 Sick Things

1st August 2010:
Good job.

There were a few typos here and there, but nothing to blazingly distracting.

I feel like maybe this was just a chapter to get from point A to point B, which is totally fine, there just wasn't a whole lot going on.

I really enjoyed Narcissa's taking care of Draco and how she attempted to stand up to her husband.

I really liked this chapter!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: Hi Kristen, thanks for dropping by. You're right, this chapter is a bit slow but I feel like it shows some solid characterization and I wanted to create a little lull between this and what happens next. I hope it wasn't so slow as to loose your interest though!

I appreciate the review and I'm glad you're getting into the characters.

BB


 Report Review

Review #24, by Dracolovergirl5000 A Family Matter...

17th July 2010:
"so itís a complete mystery to my why you must always fling about your exaggerations like a two year old with a tantrum.Ē
I caught something that seemed off to me. I think the my in the sentence above should be a me, but, i'm not sure if that was intended. I liked the chapter a lot, its is still very intiquing.

Author's Response: Good catch! I'll do back and fix that, thank you for pointing it out :)

I'm glad your still enjoying the story, I hope to see you back for more. Thanks for the review!

BB


 Report Review

Review #25, by propertyoftheHBP The Right Choice

16th July 2010:
I absolutely loved the scenic description in this chapter. Of the outdoors of the Malfoy Mansion, of the paths leading away from it, and of the disgusting rot of Goyle's place, it was all beautifully written.

Goyle and Draco's friendship made me smile. Granted, it doesn't look all sweet on the outside, but especially towards the end, with Draco asking and Goyle agreeing to go to the funeral, it was nice. Even though they're rarely apart in the books, we don't get much interaction between them, and the little that we got here, I liked.

Lucius and Daphne, especially Lucius, are complete monsters. The scene right before Draco left was a disgusting and disturbing insight into the darkness of the Malfoy family, but you wrote it so well. Daphne really is horrid as well, just the kind of character that makes me clench my fists and start ranting to my computer screen--I can only hope that Astoria gets up and leaves on her own eventually.

The plot has really picked up now, and in case you can't tell from the above paragraphs, your characterization is once again spot-on.

Feel free to come back and rerequest for the next two chapters at my review thread if you'd like, you've done a great job with these past two!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this chapter! I really thought description was important here because I wanted to explore two very different places -- the manor and Goyle's shack -- and draw a real stark difference between them. I'm thrilled to read that you felt that.

And your right, Lucius and Daphne are horrible characters. I actually have a hard time writing them because I don't want to make things so hard for the other people in the story!

Thank you so much for another wonderful review. I'm super excited that you're enjoying the story!

BB


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>