This is a superb one-shot, I simply love your characterisation of James and Sirius! Moreover, your excellent descriptive passages are quite engaging and help to make this fic a truly enjoyable read :)
10/10 Report Review
This is a story that I couldn't fault. It was absolutely prefect! I am a big fan of your writing style as it is so beautifully detailed without losing the storyline in the process which some people might do. But you my friend have got it spot on as it is a pleasure to read your work.
Your characterization of the Marauder's is absolutely sublime and paints a prefect picture of each of there personalities in this one story. I'm especially fond of how you portray Sirius as it's a stroke of pure genius how you play him out here teasing James about liking Lily.
I also love how James is so defensive when Sirius accused him of starring at her as it just seems to fit so right and really brings the story to life. It's a shame this is just a one shot as I would have loved to read more as your such a talented writer.
Feel free to re-request me for any other of your works!
~Hallows! Report Review
You had me at that banner! It's lovely!
I like these short little stories about how James fell for Lily and how the relationships around them evolved and shifted and changed from that point on. All because two people fell in love. Or rather, one fell in love and convinced the other!
This was also very funny, especially the part about Sirius and Peter. I do that too sometimes, teach my friends wrong things on purpose!
All in all, I loved the overall sweetness of this story, the characters were well developed and the story flowed smoothly! Good job! Report Review
Before Remus/Sirius became my OTP, I was a hardcore James/Lily shipper and devoured any fic I could get my hands on. While I have a new OTP, I still have a fondness for these two and I really enjoy reading young Marauder stories like this.
I think this was such a great scene - allowing the reader a glimpse into James's thoughts when he first starts to notice Lily and is in complete denial. How the usually brilliantly colored Hogwarts Express seems dull compared to Lily Evans - a nice comparison for a young teenager. ;) My biggest issue with the beginning of that part was the repetition of the words 'deep respect' - it just kind of sounded off to me.
I love the dynamics written here between the Marauders and crude, slightly mean Sirius is fantastic here. Mmm, I love me some Sirius.
I chuckled when James said he was okay with Lily hexing him. Oh, boyish crushes. So precious.
What a great one-shot. I really enjoyed it. :)Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review, really appreciate it and glad you enjoyed the story and the character portrayals in it. I was amused by that too, definitely a boyish thing! Sorry for the late reply to this, really bad I know :( Thanks again! Bobby xx Report Review
that was great! you did a good job of making the marauders seem in character.Author's Response: Thanks very much, glad you enjoyed it :)
- Bobby xx Report Review
I think this was a great one-shot... you've portayed James's feelings for Lily really well, and I loved your reason on why he started liking her. It was certainly different from the usual.
James's fetish for steam engines? That was just golden. I loved Sirius's quirky antics and his words of wisdom near the end, too. I thought the characterisation of Remus and Peter were a bit cliche, but maybe that's just me.
Before I go, I'll leave you with some grammar issues I caught:
+ There should be an apostrophe in "Teacher's Pet", should there not?
+ I think that there should be an "s" after the apostrophe in "Sirius's" and "James's", since they're possessives. I know it looks weird, but that was how I was taught... xD
~Khanh (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: Hey again Khanh, thanks for the review. Glad you like James' passion for trains, I do too lol. I'm happy you liked the characterisation - yes, unfortunately they were a little cliche, but since they weren't the main focus I'm not too worried about it :) and thanks for the grammar tip offs, appreciated. Cheers, Bobby xx Report Review
I'm so glad to have found you here! I've missed you! My ISP has only recently updated something, which has enabled me to easily manouver around here, and I finally had the chance to see who listed me as favorites!
This is such a sweet story, full of those delicious little touches that I love in stories. I like the whole byplay between Sirius and Peter, along with Lupin wondering if he should do something but deciding instead that he should re-read his prefect instructions. It's a brilliant start to his life of wondering if he should do something about his friends and then finding something else to do.
I really like the way James surveys the whole scene as though he owned it, and the way the only thing that brings him up short is noticing how Lily is turning the corner to womanhood.
I adore the way he can tell he's going to be one seriously whipped man but since it's Lily, he embraces that future.Author's Response: Hey Rose! How're you going lovely! I've missed you! :) TDM seems so long ago now huh? :(
Thank you so much for the beautiful review, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I didn't want to be over the top with this one (as I recall it was written in 2 hours for Kavya's challenge once upon a time...) but in regards to James' immediate feelings about Lily. He needs to realise he likes her before anything can happen, and rather than being thrown into it, I thought I'd take the gradual approach... and chuck in his mates giving him a hard time about it for good measure lol. Remus is awesome, he makes me smile with his attitude lol. Sirius just rocks, love him lol :)
Thank you so much for the beautiful review Rose! I hope the family is ok, I'll catch up with you soon! :) xx Report Review
Ooo I like, I like.
I loved the way you made Sirius, so like what he probably would be like at that age.
10Author's Response: Lol, thanks mate, I'm glad you enjoyed it and found my characterisation of Sirius at that age believable. :)
Have a lovely day, and thanks again for the review!
Bobby xx Report Review
woah, i love it :)
most people waffle too much, and it gets boring; you've managed to avoid that :D
10/10Author's Response: Hi Marauderette :)
This was written for a contest on another site, and it couldn't be over 2000 words and had to contain certain prompts, and it was my first foray into James/Lily (a lot easier than I thought!!!) so I'm glad you enjoyed it as well! Thanks for the lovely review, have a great day! :) Report Review
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