FINALLY, HELLO HARRY. :D hahaha. Write more Harry!! How does it connect with Sid & Stan?? :P I guess I'll just have to wait for the next chapters. D:
Glad you're still here. :P Thought you had disappeared off the face of the Earth or something. :P
Loved this the most, by the way - 'For all of you geographically challenged, (lookin' at you Canada),' - hahaha!!! But, seriously, Canada -- you rock. Without you, there'd be no Robin Scherbatsky. xD
Keep rocking, Undertone (WHATS YOUR NAME?!)
And dude -- be my beta, pleash? o___o I has cookies with your name on eet (as soon as I fond out your name, anyway) :P
Let me know.
xxAuthor's Response: I can Beta for you no problems - but my name is a deeply guarded secret buried in the depths of the Amazon in a really good cake. ;)
Some more Harry & Co. in the next chapter (just uploaded today), they'll be a much bigger part of the plot from here on out now I've introduced a few certain Ravenclaws...
Anyway, your poetry! :D
This verse is turgid,
It's terrible style,
Mile after Mile,
Maybe, one day, I'll be better-
Perhaps I'll finally buy that sweater.
I don't understand a thing! There is no constant in the story and every chapter it more confusing than the previous. You have Ron pic in the banner. You have Ron/Hermione as a pair(and hhr, but i don't care about them) and the story has nothing to do with them. The story is about a Sid and a Stan? Who are they?
It's very well written, perfect grammar and some of the lines are hilarious, but what about the storyline? It's confusing and definitely not what I expected reading it. I feel like you're expecting from the readers to understand what you're writing and connect the dots, but that's not very easy. Maybe to you it is, because it's your story and your characters and you know what's going on, but maybe you should try a little more to make it more obvious to your readers.
Would it be possible from you to tell me what's this story is all about? Not with wise words and riddles. Just a plain summary. Something to make me feel that this story is not so difficult or bad as I think. Please!
I wish I could give you a nicer review, but I believe honest reviews are better.Author's Response: I couldn't agree more - I much prefer honest criticism, and you have my thanks for taking the time to write me such in-depth feedback.
Really this story is about trying to find a decent writing style as an author. I appreciate it can be a bit brain-buggering at times, but the idea is to one day go back and re-write the opening few chapters once I've nailed down a form that I'm happy with. In regards to plot, there is an overarching storyline, but I see how it could be a little vague right now - most of this has been setup, though if you don't have a decent sense of characters yet, I see I've failed in that to an extent. I'd rather not give any full plot details per-say, mostly due to spoilers. I intensely dislike having pairings in the description, but I realise I won't get many views without them. I'm sorry to say the main Hermione/Ron stuff doesn't last forever if that's what you're in to, but I can promise an interesting story all the same. Hopefully the next chapter (uploaded upon this very eve) helps to clear up these issues a bit, and in lull while it validates, I feel obliged to provide terrible poetry.
Build not a wall,
A keep nor tower,
Seek not jewellery,
Gold nor power,
Value the wisdom of these your peers,
Your echoes will live for a thousand years. Report Review
I REALLY LIKE THIS.
it has potential! an altogether interesting way to start the story and a new kind of story i haven't hear of before. good job!Author's Response: Many hearty thanks for your review! As writers of rubbish fanfiction, it's the words of ye the people that keep us going :)
I call this little number "Namesakes"
A sprawling world,
Of light and dark,
Speckles that, Form
bears and sharks,
Only in the times of night,
Such wonders wander in to sight. Report Review
LOVE Malfoys leg going CRUNCH.
BUT MY FAVE LINE:
"You seem somewhat familiar; have I threatened you before?" Hahhaaa, laughed myself silly over that one. :P hahaha. WRITE MOAR.Author's Response: Now my first year of uni's over, I can actually write some more... Turns out I finished chapter six ages ago but never submitted it :D
Legs go crunch,
Owls have lunch,
The writing's going steady-
Got a hunch,
I'll get to the punch,
Next chapter's queued already ;) Report Review
OMG this was such a cliff-hanger chapter!! D: And whats with only two updates?? I know I was away, but that doth not mean you stop writing!! >_<
Love the name 'Armoured Patrol Car' XD hahaa, cute.
AND DUDE. PORTKEY. D:
Alright, moving on...wheres me poem? :D Report Review
Are you from Belgium or The Netherlands? I'm from Belgium and I like it a lot that you used Dutch in this story!!!Author's Response: Thanks for the review HermiiLienii! Unfortunately not, stuck in soggy ol' England, though Belgium is one of my favourite places in the world! :D
Ah, and as for your terrible poem -
For lands afar,
With eyes like stars,
An angel did review me!
I'll shut up now,
I see it how,
This sounds a little creepy! :D Report Review
I love your descriptions! :D And this is just so intriguing, I wonder where you're taking it all! XD Please update sooon! XD
P.S. I want another poem. Your last one was hil-ar-ious-ly awesome. :DAuthor's Response: The delays are getting too long to bear,
the empty deserted writing chair,
My computer erupted!
The story - disrupted!
But soon a new chapter, I swear!
The cause? A terrible laptop!
Found lurking beneath my bed,
The keyboard makes my fingers sting,
But writing must be read!
Within the next chapter,
A cunning twist!
So nice to know,
That I've been missed :D Report Review
OMG you updated! XD And what an update it was! XD AWESOME! XD "Wonder how Jellyfish work?" SO FUNNY! XD XD XD XD XD I loved this chapter, especially the *way* you wrote it! XD And Luna was of course, awesome. ^_^ *scurries off to read next chapter*Author's Response: Really glad you enjoyed it, next chapter will be along soon if all goes to plan :D My PC's gone and fallen to pieces all over the place, so I've been on damage control duty trying to pick bits of story out of it, but now thanks to discovery of my old laptop, I'm back doing the writing thing! :D Don't worry, making up for the lack of anything with an epic poem for your other review ;) Report Review
OMG i loved it! XD The writing style was very amusing, as was the dialogue and plot. XD My favorite part was the tablespoon of salt in the vodka. :D Hehe. Great job!Author's Response:
I was in a fix -
Bored, exam'd and disheartened
Your review made my day,
Now on the next chapter I've started!
Thanks a bucket for the review, glad you enjoyed it! :D
(And I did warn you, the poetry is terrible)
This story is fun. I like the Hogwarts/no electricty thing.
Looking forward to the next chapter.Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback, I'll go write some more,
I'll make it exciting and try not to bore! :D Report Review
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