Reading Reviews for Order of Merlin
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Blue Flame Run

21st December 2010:
I really enjoyed this! ^_^ It's refreshing to see a different sort of story and you wrote it wonderfully.

I especially loved this line ' Hadn't Lily been nothing but a form of torture and pain to James for years?'. It really had me thinking just how true that could be and it was something I'd never even thought to consider.

So yes, lovely story, looking forward to reading more of your stuff! =D

Author's Response: Thank you so much. That line was a case of trying to find something that could make Peter dislike Muggleborns but be close to home at the same time. It just seemed to fit somehow.
Thanks for the review!


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Review #2, by spangles Run

29th November 2010:
Wow. This. Is. Brilliant.

I love reading little missing moment like pieces and even though this isn't strictly under that category, it's so...wow! The transformation you showed of Peter, from going to saving his life, to caring only about blood status and stuff, then back to his own life again by going to the blood traitors, it was excellent! And you captured Sirius' emotions beautifully I loved his reactions! That poor poor guy I feel so bad for him! And I really liked the reducto, I've always kind of wondered what spell Peter used and that one really makes sense, and the way his finger fell off! Honestly Kero, you're a genius.

Then little Percy! He's so cute and little then, what was he, three or four? I think so. Well you captured the li ttle kid-ness amazingly, and Mrs. Weasley- you didn't really have much of her, but she was still spot on too! I love this fic so so so much. New fav I think actually. It's at least in the top 5.

So good Kero! 32098/10 ~spangles

Author's Response: Wow thanks so much spangles! I have to say that this is one of my all time faves of my own work. It was just one of those things that as soon as I had the idea I just had sit down and pound it out until it was done.

I love Percy in this! If only he could have stayed so sweet and cute. A favourite? Seriously! I love you :) ~ Kero


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Review #3, by BecPotter265 Run

21st October 2010:
Really well written and a great story! So glad I chose to read this one :) He would run..that was a very good choice coz it made me think about the events of Prisoner of Azkaban. Percy sounded cute as a child :)
I liked your version of Peter it was good and very believable. You said 5 people knew what Wormtail meant but 3 were gone; I figured two of the three would be James and Lily but who was the 3rd?
Anyway, well written, 10/10 and well, simply a brilliant story :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
In answer to your question the third person is actually Voldemort I felt it made sense that he would know.
It may interest you to know that I plan to write a short prequel to this. I hope you check it out once it's posted.


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Review #4, by ericajen Run

16th September 2010:
Hey, kero. Here with your review(:

I really liked the mixture of short, choppy sentences with longer, fluid ones. It gave the story a feel which made sense to the context of the story itself. I think you did really well with that.

You mentioned you were concerned about whether this was believable or not and frankly I think it's perfectly believable. Who's to say this isn't EXACTLY how it happened?

I loved the scene with Sirius, the descriptions were amazing in it. I could practically feel his sense of betrayal when he confronted Peter. It was really well done.

And I think you were very creative in the way you introduced Scabbers to the Weasley family. I think that's a great idea. I've never thought about Peter's escape or his coming to be with the Weasleys in depth before, but this seems to fit in with the Potterverse seamlessly.

Overall, I think this is a great little one-shot. It was interesting and well written and I didn't spot any grammatical or spelling errors in it. I think you did a great job writing this; it was a very entertaining read.

Erica

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the brilliant review! I'm so glad that you felt it was believable and that you liked it. I have to say that the scene with the Weasleys was my favourite one to write. Thanks again for an awesome review :)

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Review #5, by RonNiffler Run

18th August 2010:
I just love one-shots! And upon seeing how well liked this story was, I just couldnít say no! And Iím glad I did! This story was absolutely brilliant!

Iíve read stories from Siriusí point of view, Lilyís, Jamesí, Remus, and OCís, but I donít think Iíve read a story from Peterís. I guess thatís strange youíd think a lot of people would right it. But I guess it would be a huge challenge and itís amazing how well done this is!

I loved Peter finding the stories and that Ďlittle red head boyí it was the cutest thing! And how he got the name Scabbers!

It was a wonderful little one-shot and Iím really glad you took the time to write it and that I got the opportunity to read it!

Author's Response: aww Niffles! Thanks so much for the great review!!! After getting the prompt I did struggle with how to come up with the story but once I had the plot sorted it just sort of came out and was finished in about 20 minutes. Shame it doesn't happen like that more often :( Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!!!

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Review #6, by Jolly Run

17th August 2010:
Okay, so woah. I love all stories from Peter's POV that feel believable and this one certainly did. It's very well-written and Peter has characteristics except for chubby, awkward and secretly evil! Yay!

I especially liked that you said that Peter had started to believe in the Death Eaters' beliefs which I think is highly plausible.

Though I understand that this one-shot was mainly to show how Peter ended up with the Weasleys, I would have hoped you had included more of Peter's feelings about having been part of reason that his best friend was dead along with probably more people from the Order and those Muggles. It would have been nice to see some remorse though I could imagine that the weight of his actions hadn't really hit Peter yet.

I really liked Sirius' confrontation. I often forget the details of it and I had definately forgotten that Sirius laughed, but now I remember ;) People (including myself) often also forget that not only did Peter betray his best friends, but also killed...thirteen was it?..innocent Muggles. I liked that you mentioned that, but again, I would have liked to see more remorse, though if Peter had indeed adapted the beliefs of Voldemort&co then maybe he wouldn't have felt remorse, so maybe that was a concious choice on your part. :)

I also felt that the dialogue between Molly and Percy felt a bit awkward and I felt Percy was a bit out of character, but then again, he was only five and probably hadn't become the proud know-it-all that he later became. I just couldn't really see older Percy noticing and caring for a random rat. Also that Molly could see that the rat would need rest and caring for felt sort of weird, but maybe she just said that so that Percy would have something to care for.

Anyway, all in all a great one-shot, but, as I mentioned, I would have liked to read more about Peter's emotions. Anyway, great! I love stories that acknowledge Peter as more than purely evil or a dull sidekick to Sirius and James.

-Johanna

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I can see where your coming from on all of your points and the thought of changing this in to a short story after the results of the ICY has crossed my mind a lot lately. It would deal a lot more with Peter's thoughts and feelings and I hope that you would wish to continue to read it.

The non-remorse was indeed a conscious decision on my part because I tried to convey that whilst he did feel it, he pushed it so far down and let other thoughts and feelings take over that in reality he never confronted it

I totally respect what your saying about the conversation between Percy and Mrs. Weasley but the main reason for it was to show a more innocent side to Percy. People can change a lot from what they were at the age of five and Percy has always had a lot of sway over his mother in canon which I tried to show here, hence Mrs. Weasley's capitulation over healing Peter and allowing Percy to keep him.

I'm so glad that you liked this and thank you so much for the really great review!


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Review #7, by LovlyRita Run

16th August 2010:
hello Kero!

Well I do love this story a lot! I didn't think I would, not because you're not awesome or anything, but because I generally don't like stories about Peter. We've done a few peter stories on the story seekers before but I usually wouldn't voluntarily read a Peter story. But because it was you, I thought, sure, why not??

And I liked it. I always wondered what he would feel like in that moment, after he realized he truly had betrayed his friends. I found that his self justification was very in character. He'd have to make it real for himself somehow, to convince himself that he was right.And poor Sirius. He never had a chance, did he?

I also liked the little exchange at the end between Percy and his Mom! It was sweet, and I like to think of Percy in happier times before he kind of became...I word I can't say here :) But either way, brilliant job!!!

Author's Response: Hello, LovlyRita!

I'm so glad you liked it! You're quite right too, I'm not a big fan of Peter stories either but somehow this one just worked for me.

Poor Sirius. I always thought that someone as mediocre as Peter would never best Sirius in a duel unless his attack was pre-meditated and voila! We have the confrontation.

I love Percy in this too! I refuse to believe that he was so uptight and idiotic at the age of five. My reasoning? When I was five I was like Percy incarnate and now I'm more Fred and George.

Thank you so much for this great review and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!!!


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Review #8, by eternalangel Run

14th August 2010:
Excellent work Keroberros with this one-shot.

What I found to be particularly good about this is the depth of characterization that you gave Peter. You were able to add in details that took a slightly different look at his character. I thought really interesting that what started out as a way to protect himself by siding with Voldemort, turned into what he believed. I also found it quite fitting and insidious that he went to the Weasleys for safety after he had been the one responsible for getting Fabian and Gideon Prewett killed.

Overall, there wasn't anything that I could see that needed to be improved. The flow of the piece was wonderful and the characterizations, even with characters like Percy, were fantastic.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much Eternal! This is by far my favourite of what I've written and I'm really glad that you liked it. I'm so glad that someone picked up on the little things that I slotted in too such as the Gideon and Fabian thing! Thanks so much for your review!

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Review #9, by PrincessPadfoot Run

14th August 2010:
:O

Okay so wow. Just wow. I love these out of canon (but still in canon) moments. This really was the first (and therefore best) Peter 'death' scene I've ever read. It was fantastically written and I loved that little Percy begged his mom to help the sick rat. Sooo cute!!

The last paragraph left me with chills!! Chills I say!! It tells everything and reveals nothing.

Excellent job dear.

Love Ya!
PP

Author's Response: Thanks PP! I have to say that this is my fave of my stories without a shadow of a doubt. It was such a joy to write and yet so difficult as well. Im so glad you liked it and hopefully those chills will go away soon :)

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Review #10, by Capella Black Run

29th June 2010:
An entire story devoid of romance, and yet I loved it (trust me, that's rare!) Your characterisation of Peter is both believable and original - many people play him too evil, you've hit more of an extreme selfishness and will to survive vibe, which fits nicely with the rest of what's going on. I liked Sirius too, and the description of the action at this point was absolutely perfect - enough detail that we can imagine exactly how things progressed, without unnecessary rehashing of JKR's description.

Peter's inner musings were also really helpful, as we got to see how and why he made each of the decisions of the evening. Possibly some more of these, alluding to why he is suddenly on the run, and more importantly his opinions on the fact that his boss has just died, would help cement the whole thing, though I can imagine it might be hard to do this without going over what people already know.

Anyways, really nice story that definitely needs buckets of glowing reviews. Thanks for requesting; love your stuff!

Author's Response: Aw thanks! It was nice not to write a romance actually so I'm glad you liked it. I'm do glad that you liked Peter's characterisation. It's so hard to not make him inherrently evil so I'm glad I pulled it off. I may go back and edit those musings then but it will have to wait until after the results o f the challenge :)
Thanks again loff!


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Review #11, by evans_4eva Run

31st May 2010:
This is really really good! I haven't read any stories like this before and I really enjoyed it. 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you really liked it :)

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Review #12, by Myriad Run

31st May 2010:
I thought this was excellent overall. You handled this very well and very true to the book. It seemed to get a little melodramatic in places. Here for instance: "dark not only with rain but also sorrow, sorrow for what had been lost the night before". In many places the use of a single word (such as: "the adrenalin and magic that had been coursing through his body was depleting. Pain. All he could feel was') was done well, however you need to be careful not to use this too often because it takes away from the story a bit and makes it sound a little too melodramatic. The example from your story that I used above is a good example of a place where a single word (IE: Pain) detracts from the story. Also you used the word homely to describe The Burrow and while that does work, in the context I got the feeling that you meant 'homey' instead.

I really liked "They were like rats scavenging amongst the waste of the sewers to survive." I love how you paralled Wormtail with that. Well done. This is an excellent representation of all the characters involved. I know there weren't a great deal of characters in the story, but there wasn't a single one (including Percy and Mrs. Weasley) that I thought you didn't capture perfectly.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I see what you mean about the melodrama but it's actually used to juxtapose with the seemingly undramatic and mediocreness that everyone has seen Peter as.
I love the bit about the rats. Thats probably one of my favourite bits, the other being Percy's blatant manipulation of his mum.
Thanks so much for the review and Im glad that you liked it :)


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Review #13, by phoenix5core Run

29th May 2010:
I have to say I love it when writers fill the voids that J.K. Rowling left behind, and you clearly did that here. Sirius' initial reaction of confused anguish was great because the thought that one of the Mauraders betrayed another would probably be unbelievable to any of them. Great story!!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'd never written Peter before so it was an experience for me but I loved doing it. Filling the gaps is great. Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #14, by butterbeergal Run

28th May 2010:
First of all, GOOD JOB YOU FOR COMPLETING THE CHALLENGE. ♥

Right, on to Scabbers... I surprisingly enjoyed this. I'm not a big fan of Peter-centric stories, but this was very, very interesting. You've managed to consistently capture the weak, cowardly Peter that I so love to hate - but you injected a bit of humanity in here that also made me understand him... somehow. I STILL HATE HIM, just so we're clear, but I actually felt sorry for him. Heh.

The first part was captivating, especially the encounter between Sirius and Peter and the explosion that followed. You described the scene so vividly, I could almost see in front of me the destruction and deaths it/he caused. I know I already told you this, but I'm going to say it anyway - I love how you wrote Sirius here. Intense (slightly mad?), fiercely loyal, and I daresay sexy (yes, I just said sexy :P). Okay, enough with Sirius.

Again, not fond of Percy Weasley, but his younger version was truly adorable. I actually wanted to pinch his cheeks and tell him how utterly cute he was, but of course I couldn't do that. XD

Technically, just some punctuation issues, mostly missing commas here and there but nothing overly distracting.

You did an awesome job with your prompt, hun. Congratulations!

Author's Response: Aww I loffles you!

I love Percy in this...it was either make him really cute or really prim and proper but Percy wouldn't adopt Scabbers really if he was prim and proper so I made him cute. I think the wellies were my favourite bit or how he tried to manipulate Molly.

Sirius is always sexy we must never forget that. I'm just glad that you understood it as it was so hard to do that scene between Sirius and Peter without mentioning Peter's name.

So happy that you liked it XD Can't wait to read your challenge piece either!!!


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