That's a good story! Report Review
Well, I hope that he had plans to leave his wife as well and get together with her. Report Review
So unlike Hermione to allow anyone to do that to her. Nice story, sad that it ended. Report Review
Good...well, great actually, but one question. Now, I don't get the whole divorce thing, but the papers. Ronnie-dearest doesn't have to sign them, right? And wouldn't he, like, almost kill her if he found out about Draco...OR that she wanted to separate? Ah, it doesn't matter, it was an excellent story anyways, brilliantly written. Report Review
oh, i forgot to say...i love your name..haha, gotta love a very potter muscial :) Report Review
hmmm, it was a good story, but just a couple of things:
first, i think that you should go and read some other dramione, romance fics. they all tend to start with hating each other and then ends with them sleeping together. i think that this concept is okay if you build it up properly.
Like, "Though her hair was no longer a bushy, wild mess and was now a soft cascade of honey-colored curls falling down her back, it was still the same golden-brown color it had been in school". The number of times i've heard that line is insane. its just seems a little unrealistic, that with all their past angst, he just notices these little changes. i think, a more likely first response would be surprise, followed by disgust.
you can then build this up. not straight away, like when he moves closer to her at the bar, but maybe elongate the story over a couple of weeks. maybe, you could have draco running into ron and hermione, when rons beating her up, and he saves her...yeah, i know it still sounds a little cliche, but i just think their relationship develops waay too quickly.
also, the whole explaination on why draco had to marry a muggleborn because of his dad seems uneccesary, and just adds the to the number of words, rather than the story line. Maybe, he found out that his wife was cheating on him or something..it would make it less complicated, and would give you more time to concentrate on the story line.
it also seems a little weird that draco cares so much about hermione's situation. if you still want to keep it like that, maybe you could try something like, "draco was in the pub, after a long battle in the courts, fighting against a coperate law bastard who had beat his daughter up and then killed her" it would add more depth to the story and explain why he was so passionate about hermione's situation.
and just one other thing; why does hermione stop healing her wounds? i know that you said that she would get two more for every one that she healed...but isn't her covering them up, kinda the same thing...so why not just heal them..i know you need the covering up thing for the story line, but maybe take out the fact that she could heal it...this would clear it up a bit..
and i think thats it. i'm really sorry if i offended you or anything, but i really hope this helps. for a first fan fic, i think that you have done quite well, but theres just some small issues. also, as i said before, just read through maybe 10-15 other dramione romance stories and you will see what i mean by a very typical story line...and next time you write, just try and aviod it
hope this helps :)
Fluffball Report Review
My only objection would be the completely abusive nature of Ron. I think he's annoying (and shouldn't be with Hermione) but he probably would be that bad.
However, in the instance that that happened, you have written an unforgettable and beautiful piece! I truly enjoyed reading it; you really make the characters come to life. Great job (: Report Review
I liked it =]
Im not sure after years of being abused and being raped that day she'd just go root Draco.
But I love Draco and I'd totally go there too lol Report Review
Wow that was really good! I just wish that Draco could somehow get out of his marriage too. Report Review
Love it, so sweet. Xx Report Review
hey i have read thsi on another site also- why hasnt someone made a banner for this wonderful story- i dnt use photoshop but ive had alot of people i make banners for
if you are interested visit me on youtube and leave a message i have an idea of what too put in it but since its your story i want u too giveme your ideas on what stamps i should use and tell me what color inks you would need pleaze u can have mutli ple colors just dont do too meaning colors...lol
okay redrain520 channel look for me - you will know its me cuz i have a bg with dramonie i made the dramonie pics but a friend of mine used photoshop to blend them Report Review
Sorry, I just can't picture Ron becoming that much of a monster and or getting away with even half of this without Ginny or Harry killing him. Hermione falling for a smooth talking control freak is possible after all many women have. Still I found that I couldn't stop reading till the end.Author's Response: True, true, Ginny and Harry would kill him. I hadn't even thought of that. Report Review
Almost Perfect! 'Cept that Draco Malfoy's eyes are gray.Author's Response: Yeah, I can't believe I wrote that >.< I knew they were grey, too, I don't know why I wrote blue. I am utterly humiliated -.- Report Review
Nice but is this the end?Author's Response: I originally wasn't going to even look at this story again, but upon rereading it a few months after I wrote it, I realized that it was unbelievably corny and I wanted to gag. So I rewrote it, and will be posting the new version soon; and the new version has more of an opening for a sequel, so I may or may not write more in the future. The only problem with me and writing is that I get bored easily while writing, and it takes me ages to finish anything because I don't keep up with it. So, don't count on anything too soon. Report Review
We need a sequel where Ron's butt is kick and kick good.. LOLAuthor's Response: I agree, and it's the only reason I've considered making a sequel. But it won't be for a while Report Review
It's a very great story. My only disappointment is that it is only one chapter long. :] Report Review
Oh Wow! this story has great potential-you should continue this story. It could be really great! Report Review
Ugghh, this is the worst story ever! Nah, just kidding. I like this story, it's not the average Dramione story. I love the fact that even tough they hated each other a few years they are still willing to help the other one fight their feares. It's written very well. I'm Dutch so sometimes I don't understand parts because they use difficult words, but I could fully understand this. I would love to read more stories ;) Report Review
I really like this story! Maybe you could add bits to it, like a short story, just to tell us how Hermione and Draco left their asshole other halfs (they are assholes) and what happened? Harry and Ginny would have to go for Hermione wouldn't they? They could be really disgusted and show Ron 'what goes around, comes around' but not as bad, maybe a pinch in the face and some bad words, cos they're not like him. That would be fun to read!
Sam Report Review
I've never read fan fiction before, but I just finished the 7th book and needed a fix ;) I like the twist here...not sure I like Ron being abusive but it works for the point of the story. I like the touch of eroticism, it was passionate and lusty yet ... clean? I guess. You didn't use the unnecessarily "vulgar" words to get your point across. I thoroughly enjoyed it.Author's Response: Yeah, I was getting a little sick of all the really explicit fanfics... And I hate Ron with a passion, so please excuse the Ron-bashing :P Report Review
Pigfarts, pigfarts here i come, Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum, yum, yum. I almost screamed when i saw your name. Seriously. Anyway, this is a great story and i love it. I'm looking forward to more.
Accio Dubblestuff. Report Review
To sum up how I feel about this little story: =) Report Review
Hey this was pretty good. Report Review
Hmmm. I don't think it's very realistic; Ron loved Hermione, and I think it's a bit weird that Draco suddenly liked her after years of hating her.
And you spelled control wrong by the way; there's no 'e' on the end.Author's Response: Thanks for that :)
Yeah, he does, but I hate Ron. And I don't think that he and Hermione would make a good couple, either; they have a lot of chemistry, yeah, but that's all they have in common. They'd fight too much, and though every relationship needs a fight now and then to stay healthy (it means that conflicts are being resolved), they'd fight too much. Besides, Hermione needs someone with a personality and ego to offset her own, and who can provide an intelligent argument in fights and/or debates. Enter Draco :D Report Review
Sammy! I loved your story! if you continued with this I'm sure it could develop into into like hm... A book!!! haha(: It was amazing! But with all the grammer probs i'm going to have to knock off a point(; haha LOVED IT! :)Author's Response: lol I need to go through and edit it one more time, I guess. Glad you liked it, though! Report Review
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