Hey! This is the first time I've commented on your story; I feel guilty, but I'm just a lazy person in general. But I absolutely love this story. This is a completely different characterizatiion of Teddy from the rest on HPFF, and I seriously HATE HIM (and love the way you showed him). Molly is such a sweet person, but I probably wouldn't handle the situation like she did. I'm more into revenge, and as much as I'd love to be a Gryffindor, I show more Slytherin traits... lol Report Review
Teddy lied!! Poor molly 9/10 : ) Report Review
Great first chapter. Poor molly. 9/10 : ) Report Review
OH MY GOD.
And I would totally leave it at that except for the fact that it would probably constitute as spam. :P
Can I just point a line out? "Polite. Sincere. I could feel myself cracking." I mean... wow. Georgia, you are so talented. It's unreal.
Anyway, I'm off to read the other chapters. Lovely job, dear.Author's Response: OH MY GOD RIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET OUT
(ilu ♥) Report Review
Santa Claus is coming to town!
Excellent beginning to the chapter with the dream part - the line "The red blossoms are like splashes of blood" makes it sound as if the end of their relationship was always going to come.
Even more tension between Lorcan and Molly now - loving it! Their little awkward relationship is so cute. They both seem kind of childish in a way which definitely brings them together ... and the chest exam, haha! Speaking of which, the realism in how Molly feels about her body is a plus - most people tend to focus on the positives of their characters, so it's nice to see some negatives being recognised and giving them a more realistic aspect.
I can't help but think it's a little too soon for Molly to be attracted to someone else already, just a couple of weeks after Teddy leaving, but that's just my personal opinion - true love knows no bounds ;) Report Review
He's making a list, and checking it twice; gonna find out who's naughty and nice ...
Wow, Healer Blackwood is annoying me! Fantastic characterisation there. She seems to be just what Molly needs, but that doesn't mean she can't be bossy and irritating!
I love the setup of the hospital - JK never went into that much detail about it, and I've always wondered whether they do things differently there in comparison to a Muggle hospital. The idea of the blood test coming from her wand is genius, if not slightly gory if you're watching it happen - I imagine that the faint-hearted wouldn't have been able to watch! I suppose Molly is stronger than I originally thought ...
The tension between Lorcan and Molly is definitely interesting! He reminds me of Mr Darcy in a way, very aloof and standoffish. They definitely haven't gotten off to the best of starts, but I'm sure that will improve ;) Report Review
Santa Claus is coming to town!
I love the diary style at the beginning with the short descriptions of how Molly feels - it gives the reader an insight into how she's feeling without being overwhelmed with a load of angst :P my favourite line was probably "It was like trying to navigate without a compass and with the clouds covering the stars" - beautiful metaphor!
The setting up of the character's relationships and settings was well done in the chapter - I feel as if I know them a lot better now. Introducing new characters gradually is always a good idea! Lorcan sounds so cute, bless him, despite Molly's initial reaction towards him - I wonder if there's any hope there ;)
Onwards! Report Review
You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why ...
Georgia, your opening few paragraphs are absolutely stunning! They bring a sense of realism to the story whilst also desperation and sadness lacing through it. It goes to show that the most mundane of tasks can be turned into something great with a fantastic writer behind it!
The dialogue in this is really natural and flows really easily, which is always a plus. When Teddy leaves is truly heartbreaking - the description really makes you feel for Molly, as if you were right next to her, feeling her pain. Molly seems a little wet, but I'm sure that's because of the situation - her desperation is really moving. Plus - Teddy is a grrr! Hahahaha
ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER! Report Review
Oh, no. Molly. What does he mean he "can't"? How can he say something like "I wouldn't do that to you"? He totes did do 'that'... clearly. Urg. No. Teddy? I mean, seriously. I love that Molly is a florist. It's quite a romantic thing herbology... I like it. Report Review
First off, I would like to state that I absolutely love the Charlie Brown quote at the top. This makes the story start quite adorably (at least for me).
Your characterizations are brilliant! Like that should come as any surprise. :P Still, I thought it was worth mentioning.
I really am quite irritated with Healer Blackwood. Not only is she crass and loud mouthed, she is quite tactless. I don't like people who are devoid of tact. Fictional or not. :P
I adored embarrassed and shy Lorcan, it was the most adorable thing ever. I could simply squee and pinch his cheeks, and cuddle him until I melted in a squishy ball of happiness.
I looove Molly. I want to hug her so badly.
I also love that Lorcan manages to make Molly smile for the first time in days. Poor girl. Merlin knows that she deserves it after the hell she's been through.
As far as grammar and all that good stuff goes, I didn't catch anything worth noting. So kudos there. You know how much I enjoy that by now, I'm sure.
This story is gorgeous! Just like you. -mwah-
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your reviews, Linders! They've seriously brightened my morning :)
Yay, someone appreciates the Charlie Brown quote! :D I thought it was so adorable, and for what I intended to be a cute chapter, it seemed to fit :)
I'm glad you like the characterisations! I am quite fond of all my characters in this (yes, even Teddy :P) but sometimes I feel like they're not consistent. Healer Blackwood is getting a lot of hate from what I can gather :P I think she's rather amusing myself and, even though she IS rather crass, she really does care for Molly :) And Lorcan, oh my God, he is growing on me! I was a little worried he was going to seem a little bi-polar in this chapter compared to the last, haha! And Molly, I am so glad you like her! I was afraid she was going to just seem pathetic :P
Thanks so much for such amazing responses and kind words, Linders, I truly appreciate them! ♥ Report Review
I love your characterizations.
I adore how snippy Molly is despite being heartbroken, and how she insists that she is a 'Weasley' not a Lupin, though, I know why she would be so adamant in saying this.
I am beginning to like Lorcan. He amuses me mostly. He seems to be an intriguing character.
Healer Blackwood is a character that I'm not too fond of, though. She reminds me too much of Blanche from "A Street Car Named Desire" — so I already see her as an icky character.
Perhaps, she'll get better, but I have the sneaking suspicion that she won't.
Your descriptions are lovely, too. Not to mention the plot and pacing are well done, and I saw nothing that disrupted the flow.
As always your spelling and grammar are impeccable, making this even more of an enjoyable read.
I really simply love this story!
Linders Report Review
Actually, I lied. Apparently, I do have time to review chapter one on it's own! However, I didn't know that I would have time, initially, so I'm not sure it's really an uttered falsehood. Anyhow, that's neither here nor there.
I love your characterizations! I really do. I absolutely love Molly, especially. She seems like such a doll, really. A slightly sarcastic one, but I've always found that I like sarcasm.
I really do hope that things look up for her, but I know they're bound to get worse before they can get better.
As far as Teddy goes, I hate him. I absolutely abhor cheaters, but this makes me livid. Not only did he cheat on her, he got another woman pregnant! That just makes me want to punch that lying, good for nothing, sack of crap!
I sincerely hope that he pays for the horrid way he treats Molly. I really do.
But in all honesty, I hate the woman more. Why would she allow herself to become pregnant? To break up a marriage? That makes me sick.
Not to mention, like I said before, I want to punch Teddy for his serious lapse in judgment. How can you hurt someone like that and think it's perfectly all right is beyond me? Not to mention, the coward left.
I pity Molly for still loving him.
Merlin knows that I wouldn't. I would've made him suffer. Seriously, a good kick to the gonads, and maybe even give him a good concussion.
I hate cheaters. They make me sick. Not to mention, I hate divorce, too.
I can't imagine the pain that Molly must be going through, but I feel so bad for her!
Spelling, grammar, and flow were all immaculate. Though, that is to be expected from you!
Linders Report Review
Ordinarily, I would leave a review on both chapters one and two. However, I don't have that sort of time right now. So my apologies.
Please, promise me, before I go into anything else that Dominique will pay. I don't know why or how, but you've made me hate her with a boiling passion. More so than I hate Teddy. Please make her get her comeuppance. I want to see her bawling like a little girl.
Please make her have a miscarriage, get trampled by a hippogriff, make her get hit by the Knight bus, have her eaten by a chimera. Something. I just wish death upon her so much, but I doubt you'll do that. I just want her to have to pay somehow.
I hate her so much for ruining the marriage between Molly/Teddy (a pairing I normally hate).
It's not enough that Molly gets her happily ever after. I want to see Dom and Teddy pay. (Especially Dom.) I really loathe her. Quite sad considering she's a fictional character, but I hate her all the same. In this story, at least.
As far as characterizations go, this was brilliant! I absolutely adore it. I loved Rose and Molly. I'm not sure how I feel about Lorcan yet, but I'm sure I'll have an opinion of him soon enough.
I really do want to punch Teddy, though, now that I think on it.
This writing is so beautiful and descriptive (like all of your stuff is), but the story is so heart wrenching.
I can really feel for Molly!
Your flow was really well, and I didn't pick up on any spelling or grammatical errors that disrupted that flow. As a English-Lit graduate, that makes me happy. I'm something of a Grammar Nazi! :P
Linders Report Review
Haha chest exam? Awkwardd! But it was funny to see how nevous they both got. Good to have some lighthearted stuff thrown in (: I really like them together, all their interactions and dialogue seems very real and natural.
Her nightmare made me sad though. I just keep feeling worse and worse for poor Molly. But maybe someday she'll have a new man *cough Lorcan* and the pain of what Teddy did won't hurt as much.
Amazing chapter, please update soon!
-Ronsgirl29 Report Review
Okay, I didn't think that Teddy could get any worse, but then he sends her the divorce papers while she's in the hospital! That's just cruel. I'm not liking his character at all.
But I'm loving healer Blackwood! She seems very funny and full of life, I hope we see more of her in the story! And I'm really liking Lorcan, but I'm not really sure why. There's just a certain quality to him, he's a bit mysterious.
Great chapter, 10/10
-ronsgirl29 Report Review
It was Dominique?!!?! No way! I think my jaw actually dropped when I read that. Her own cousin... Poor Molly's life can't get any worse. I hope her heart's okay :(
Hmm, Lorcan seems like he'll be an interesting character. I'm excited to read more about him. Off to the next chapter!
-Ronsgirl29 Report Review
Well, Teddy sure is a tosser! I can't believe he'd do that to her. I mean, she loves him so much, and he just throws her aside for a blonde at work? How horrible!
It's especially heartbreaking because most girls in that situation would have been furious at their husband for cheating, but she loved him so much that she wanted begged him to stay. I think that any woman deserves better than that, but I suppose the heart wants what the heart wants.
Anyway, amazing first chapter. You've got me hooked on this story!
-Ronsgirl29 Report Review
Ahaha, that situation they found themselves in was hilarious. You know, I'm starting to think that Lorcan had a crush on Molly while they were at school together...she did mention how he'd always ignored her and was never able to say anything around her. Then after today...haha. I loved Molly's subconcious's little...comments as Lorcan came into the room and started.
This is a really interesting idea so far--I love your characterization of Molly especially, along with the more minor characters like Healer Blackwood and Lorcan. I'm definitely going to favorite this and keep up with the updates. :-) A 10/10 so far on every chapter. Report Review
OH. MY. GOD.
I LOVED IT!
Every single second of it.
Well, except for the nightmare. That just made me feel immensely sorry for poor Molly. I mean, I can barely even imagine living through it once, but twice? Poor girl.
Teddy is the scum of the universe, just so you know. I don't think I've ever hated him as much as I hate him in this story. And you know, I'm kind of glad for it. Maybe other people will start to hate him, too. Merlin knows he deserves it.
But Lorcan! OH LORCAN! How I love him! He's absolutely perfect, I tell you, PERFECT! Even if he is younger than her, who cares? He was such a gentleman when he was giving her that chest exam, which was, by the way, equal parts awkward and utterly adorable. The way they refused to make eye contact with each other was just AGDFSHOUGFHUOSGSN SO CUTE!
ALSO! Throughout this entire chapter, I pictured Young!Leo. AND I SWOONED SO HARD.
LOVED IT. LOVE YOU! Report Review
He sent her the divorce papers while she was in the hospital because of him??? Gosh, what a jerk. I'm really hating on Teddy more and more by the chapter. Plus, I think I shall decide to hate Dominique as well. ;)
I really like Healer Blackwood--it's hilarious to have an American with a Southern accent in any Harry Potter fanfic, to be honest, and her attitude/personality just makes her all the more funny. Not to mention the descriptions of her. ^__^
Ah, so now I get the kind of "heart failure" she suffered. I like how broken hearts are actually a very real (and apparently serious) condition for the wizarding world--and thinking on it more, I'd expect no less from them. Lorcan's insistence that there's something else wrong with Molly is interesting...hmm. Though he was a bit infuriating when he was going on about how she was too young to have BHS. I can plainly see that I'm tending to side with Molly on everything, haha. What can I say? I really like her.
Again, great chapter! Report Review
O_O How could Teddy leave Molly for her own cousin and not tell her? That's horrid. He's such a coward, I hope Harry gives him a great big talking-to. But seriously, I'm hating him even more now and the aftermath of his leaving Molly will certainly be interesting to watch...evolve. Especially at family gatherings and such. I really liked, in the beginning, how you split the little sections up like days. It was like listening to a clock tick by and it really made my heart break for Molly all the more.
And she suffered (minor) heart failure? I guess the "Broken Heart" part of the title of this story is literal. Though she's young, it's strangely believable, especially in the wizarding world. Stranger things have happened, for sure. Thinking on it now, I suppose that the paragraph where Molly was describing how she felt her heart being wrenched in pain and slowing down was literal--at the time I was reading it, I assumed that she was describing her emotional pain but it turned out to be both emotional and physical.
I'm liking this even more so far. Molly having to spend a week in the hospital will certainly be interesting, especially with Lorcan there. (I sense something interesting coming from the subtle way he was thrown in there...) Report Review
I've seen this along the recently added list a couple of times and I've been meaning to check it out. It looked interesting and original, and that's what it is, for sure. :)
I like how you just jumped into the action and thick of the story right at the start--it's pulled me in right away and I'll keep reading for sure. I love Molly's description of her life in the beginning with the analogy to being a florist and cooking.
And grr, I hate Teddy already. Which isn't fun, because he's one of my favorite Next-Generation characters--but you've written him so I'm able to hate him, which is quite a feat on your part. ;) The description of Molly's feelings and the situation around her was just fantastic--I feel so bad for her right now.
All in all, this was a great first chapter! :-) Report Review
THIS BOY/MAN IS SO CUUUTEEE.
It feels very strange to call Lorcan a man, actually, but he's such a sweetheart. I love how flustered he was and I just want to squish hiiim or for him to be real. That's be nice too.
Molly is such a darling and I feel for her so much. Teddy is a prize prat and I REALLY don't like this other Healer lady. She's very brash and really needs to learn to shut up or control her volume.
I'm so sorry for this atrocity of a review but I love love love it very much. Fantastic chapter ♥
xxx Report Review
TEDDY MUST DIE DIE DIEEE. He's such a [non 12+ word]. I want to strangle him and he's not even IN the chapter.
I feel so, so much for poor Molly and I want her to get better muchly. She deserves better than him, and talking of, Lorcan is so wonderfully characterised. I really like him. Healer Blackwood, not so much but she's amusing :P
I am so, so sorry it took a while to get to this and that it's such a rubbishy review but I absolutely adooore it and I wants more and I cannot wait to see where things gooo.
PS Gorgeous new banner ♥ Report Review
Yep, still liking Rose :P.
Anyway, MAJOR curve ball there. Callous cousin Dominique. Just another terrible person to be added to the mixture. You'd have to be plain cruel to have an affair with your cousin's husband, and she's PREGNANT. God, that's a tricky situation XD.
I've got to admit that I had reservations about Healer Blackwood being too brash for me, but she's so lovely ♥. Very endearing! I can't wait to see more of her ^_^. And Lorrrcaaannn why are you so rude and creeper-y? I am VERY intrigued.
I also like how you're tackling this - it's such an interesting theory in general. I remember my school's critical thinking society did a presentation on whether or not it was possible. I mean, I didn't go, but THIS IS BETTER THAN GOING TO THE PRESENTATION :P.
xx Report Review
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