That was so amazing. I loved it ! It was wonderful, and beautiful and...
hahah you get the point :D
I loved the fact that there was a bet going on. and I love the fact that they guessed EXACTLY what Jess would do (pretend it never happened) and I loved Sirius and I loved...
AH I LOVED IT
But please update a Bittersweet Song? I'm /dying/ here :D
But that was adorable. thank you (: Report Review
love it!!especially the grandmother!but I would have like it better if they refered to this in the storyAuthor's Response: thanks! honestly, i wrote this quite a bit after i wrote the story... i got the idea and couldn't not write it... Report Review
And so, as I the, craziest girl in the world, attempt to forget the pain in my feet, the endless drumroll for A Bittersweet Song, and F*&^ING CRAMPS THAT I HATE WITH A PASSION, I read this. HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! Oh, and the past few reviews that I've made (thanks to inspector on Pages) had been preciely five thousand characters!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYA!!!Author's Response: haha, oooh you :) thanks for reading! also, just fyi... the site says that it's 4 days behind on validating stories, so look for the new chapter of A Bittersweet Song sometime later this week! Report Review
Yes - I like this one much better. :)Author's Response: me too :) thanks darling!!! Report Review
this is very cute. It made me want a grandmother like Jessie's. haha. :DAuthor's Response: haha, thank you! and she's pretty sweet... Report Review
I love this!! Her Gram is so funny...Sadly, I think my own grandmother would do the same thing. hehehe...I have read every chapter about Jesse and Sirius. I have to say that this is bloody fantastic! Can't wait to read what you come up with next. Report Review
Not bad, but I've got one issue:
One of the strongest beaters that Hogwarts has seen in years? That's way sueish. Rowling has professed numerous amounts of times that Sirius is very, very, very, tall. That indicates a towering presence. With perhaps broad shoulders. And arms that could definitely manipulate Jesse's any way he pleases, really. If she's a good beater, I can imagine a noticeable struggle - something that Sirius would notice - but not much of one.
And another thing: it looks a lot better when you don't list what the characters are wearing. Something like this: "Jess glanced down at her black strapless dress. It was very tight across her chest and flared out at her waist into an elegant skirt. She tapped her black heels on the ground while absentmindedly fingering one of her chandelier earrings and sighed."
I find it better to incorporate the character's clothes into an action they're doing. It makes for smoother reading.Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH! i honestly think you are the first person to EVER give me constructive criticism on this site and i loved it.
I actually went back and edited it quite a bit :) but thanks again! Report Review
Loved it... I get ridiculously excited when I read stuff by you... Grams is brilliant, but I would dearly love to see more of Bittersweet Song... Sometime soonish?Author's Response: haha, why thank you! and working on a new bittersweet song chapter as we erm... speak? Report Review
*thumbs up* but seriously, you need to update a bittersweet song. i'm wasting away from boredom. though i do love marian, she's the coolest grandma EVER. actually her uppity pureblood family's just like mine, so i guess in a way i am like marian. I LOVE HER XD :D. but i just have a question. if jess & sirius were 17 in this and disgusted by each other, and in my brain and black they were together by graduation and sirius had run away from home...idk, they just don't seem consistent. maybe i'm hallucinating or something but i really did love it :D. :)Author's Response: i know! working on a new chapter i swear! i went back and edited this quite a bit so when it re-validates that should answer your questions :) but until then, it's supposed to be summer before 7th. i was reading my brain and black the other day and was like "self, there needs to be more of a reason for Jessie to loathe Sirius so" so i decided to work on more of the back story.
Hopefully the edited version will make this seem like it fits better :)
thanks! Report Review
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