Reading Reviews for The Dance
  
26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp First Impressions

28th January 2013:
Hello!

Well, I just stumbled across the podcast of this story on HPPC and read along as I listened to the awesome narration!

I just wanted to review here too and say that this is a very well-written story and I loved it! This was a very unique take on Hannah and Theodore, and I enjoyed your plot and concept immensely. The whole setting was created well, and I really liked how the narrative was framed. The pace, flow, and grammar of the piece was very neat as well. You got across Hannah's emotions, especially those of anxiety and shyness, as well as some of Theo's, very well, and once again let me say, I really enjoyed this story!

Great job =)

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #2, by orderofthephoenix First Impressions

10th August 2011:
Interesting pairing. Not one I would have ever had thought of, but I think you made it work quite well. You've written Theo differently to how most Slytherins were shown in the books. I've not read many stories where Theodore is a main character, but it's refreshing to see your different portrayal of a Slytherin. :) Hannah is also a character I don't read much about so thank you for opening my eyes to the different pairing possibilites in the HP world.

I would have liked to see a bit more emotion or depth of thought from either Hannah or Theo. Perhaps more about what the rest of the school would think of them going to the ball together or how they really feel about each other. I just think it would give an edge to the story.

Small spelling mistake here: 'Filch looked positively gleeful at the thought of ruining there[their] Friday night.'

Author's Response: Sophia!

Thanks so much for the review!!!

Haha almost every single review I've gotten for this has commented on the pairing choice I made. I don't even know why I choose those two characters, I could have easily chosen a different Slytherin or a different Hufflepuff. But I think what makes this story is the pairing. Without Hannah and Theo this wouldn't have been as likable (I think that's the word I want...) as it is.

This was never meant to be an emotional fic, it was just meant as a passing thing that happened early in their relationship. I do have a sequel planned that delves deeper into the emotional side of their relationship, while also having a darker side.

There and Their have been the bane of my writing career since the dawn of time. When it comes time for an update I'll be sure to change that.

Thanks again for the review!!


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Review #3, by Debra20 First Impressions

10th August 2011:
First off, Happy Ravenclaw Day!!

Second, if I read more Theodore Nott stories like this I am going to seriously become obsessed with the guy. I have no idea why, but I've always picture him as being the opposite of what Slytherin represented in the books. Maybe not entirely, but he wouldn't use people for his convenience, he wouldn't discriminate, play on two sides. And you story fell right in spot! I loved it.

We don't know much about Hannah either so choosing them two really has been a cute choice. Again, I have no idea why, but there's something with them that fit together (at least when they were younger until Hannah married Neville). I like how you had her resist her feelings probably because of House differences. After reading the novels, I'd imagine and totally understand why that would be an obstacle. Even if not explicitly, there have always been House differences, almost like class differences. I'm happy that you chose Hufflepuff for this piece. Stories about them are too overlooked :(

Overall this was a very very cute one shot. It really opened many possibilities to me and helped me explore more of two potentially great minor characters. And yes, that's only thanks to you! :D


House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: Gryffindor

Author's Response: THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING DEBRA!

Theo, to me, is EXACTLY as you described him, I'm so glad we are on the same page and you liked what I did with him. :D

When I was assigned the prompt Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance (for a challenge) I immediately thought of Hannah (I don't know why) and then after that it didn't take me long to pair her with Theo. And the rest was history!

House differences, at least in the time of Harry going to Hogwarts, seemed very prevalent in the books (at least to me), I obviously wanted to show some of that, but at the same time show that that particular obstacle could be overcome.

I love stories about Hufflepuffs, I don't know what it is, but they are some of my favorites. I think it's the nature of the members of Hufflepuff house that just agrees with me.

I'm so glad this opened some doors for you :D

Thanks SO SO much for reviewing this :D

Love PP


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Review #4, by LunarLuna First Impressions

10th August 2011:
That was so sweet:) I have to say, I think Hannah's characterisation was pretty spott on, and this story was very different from what you usualy read, I've read countless stories where a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw was in a secret relationship with a Slytherin, and only met to kiss very late at night. I usually adore fluff, but in this fic it's probably the lack of fluff that i enjoyed the most! It was very... prude, I have to say, for lack of better term. It was pure sweetness and now I'm just mindlessly smiling because of it!^^

~LunarLuna of Slytherin

Author's Response: THANKS FOR REVIEWING!!!

I'm SO glad you like Hannah :D

Kiss late at night? Hannah? NEVER!! I see her as the prudish type (I guess that's where you got the prude feeling haha) so she would never sneak around to kiss...it just doesn't seem like her. IDK haha

When I think of the word 'fluff' I think of cotton candy/fairy floss. And when I think of that I think sweet, so fluff to me = sweet. haha if that makes sense...

I'm so glad it made you smile :D

Thanks again for reviewing!!!

Love PP!!


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Review #5, by nextgenoration First Impressions

8th August 2011:
HI ROBBI! IT'S ASH!

THIS WAS REALLY GOOD. I am reading and writing all at once because I like to commentate as I go. :D I really liked how you said seriously peeved it made me giggle. :D La la la. La. I like your hannah. Your hannah is funny. And cute. And genuine. I like her. Sometimes people write her in a not very quite way. I don't like that. I was really impressed. Your writing voice is perty. I liked it. I'm going to read some more of your stuff soon, kay?

ash

Author's Response: THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW!!!

hahahahahahaha

OMG your review has made MY ENTIRE LIFE so much better :D

I like Hannah too!! I wanted to give her a co-staring role in a story because oftentimes she plays a minor character (even in the books :() and it's such a shame because there is so much raw talent there (yes I do believe characters have talent when it comes to writing them...er.did that make sense? haha).

Thanks again for this review!!


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Review #6, by ravenclaw_princess First Impressions

7th August 2011:
What an interesting pairing...but it worked really well. Theodore seemed like a 'good' Slytherin, one who is there because he is ambitions, not because of his blood line. He showed that to him blood didn't. Hannah did have her misgivings, I guess she was worried about the social stigma, but I like how in the end she realised that it was only an issue is she made it one.

You had Madame Pince nailed down, but at time, Filch wasn't quite Filch like enough. He spoke a little too formally in my opinion, a bit too McGonagall like. Thank this line for example
"Then that will teach you even more that sneaking after curfew is not permitted here Mr. Nott."
I would word it something more like "then ya shouldn't be sneaking round after hours then, should ya?"

The story had nice flow and pacing and generally grammar wasn't an issue. Here are two sentence though which I picked out that need slight revising.

"Once Hannah was sure that she was free of anymore gleaming eyes[. S]he made a beeline for the door" = [, s]

"She started walking around the edge of the lake [and] feeling slightly let down" = [,]

Over all, a very nice, well written one shot.

ravenclawprincess - ravenclaw

Author's Response: THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW!

:D

Theo is ambitious, yep yep he is, but he's also got a little bit of darkness in him. He's a bad boy, and doesn't every girl fall for a bad boy at least once?

Haha

I see Hannah as the type of person who can see past the facade and really grasp what a person is like, she see's Theo and understands him more than he understands himself. She KNOWS he's a bad boy, but she's seen something in him that interests her enough to meet up with him after hours :P

Filch is so hard to write!!! I do agree that your line is much better than mine, but my inner editor has a hard time not writing proper English XD I may go back and change up his lines a bit in the future :P

The first correction has been pointed out so many times!! But I can't seem to find it in me to edit the entire chapter for that one line :(

The second error...I don't really agree with. I think it needs a comma, but again I really don't want to edit the entire chapter for a comma :P

Thanks for pointing those out though :)

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #7, by faerieall First Impressions

6th August 2011:
Hi! I'm here from the review thread in the Ravenclaw common room.

I liked the idea behind this one-shot :) I understand it was for a challenge, and given JK Rowling's descriptions of Theodore Nott and those of Hannah, they don't seem very compatible. But people have written stranger things - when I started writing a wrote a Bella/Remus story and I thought it was great. It wasn't. It sucked. :P

That being said, you take your liberties with both characters and you wrote a nice little fluffy piece, which was a very easy, enjoyable read. Nice job!

Nisha/faerieall (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!!!

You've seriously made my day :D Not many people review my stuff after the initail postings so I'm glad you stopped by and gave this story some love. :)

Theo and Hannah aren't compatiable, but I was writing this keeping in mind that opposites attract and every girl falls for a bad boy at least once in her life. ;)

Hannah is a sweet girl and she did have her doubt about Theo, but she a Hufflepuff and I've got the notion in my head that Hufflepuffs are people that easily trust others and see the good in others. Hannah would have seen that Theo isn't quite as bad as his house makes him out to be.

I'm currently working on a sort of sequel to this that will delve deeper into this relationship, and it will also answer a lot of questions reviewers have been asking. Though it will be much darker in nature hehe

Thanks again for the review :D


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Review #8, by DemetersChild First Impressions

12th June 2011:
Aww, that was adorable! It's really nice to read a different pairing every once in a while. The usuals are great, but it takes a little more effort to make noncanon pairings work. I really enjoyed this. I especially loved the conflict that Hannah felt--torn between automatically disliking Theo because he's a Slytherin and giving into her feelings.

Very nice little one-shot. :)

Magically Yours,

Dem

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading a reviewing!!

I adore different pairings :) But as I've mentioned in the story summary, this was written for a challenge (Slytherin/Hufflepuff Romance) so I can't take all the credit lol.

Hannah just needed to realize that her feelings were more than what she orginally made them out to be. The sequel (which I swear to god I will finish and post soon) goes more in depth with their feelings and it's got a much darker mood to it.

Thanks again for the wonderful review!!

PP


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Review #9, by Aiedail First Impressions

6th April 2011:
hi! :)
first of all, i really like the way that you vary your syntax. i like the short sentences coupled with longer ones; the short ones make me feel very in the moment, while the longer ones give interest to the language and explain more of what's happening.
i realise that we were brought rather quickly into their relationship and asked to accept it pretty quickly too. i think for this story it works, but i might have wanted just a little explanation of why they were so attracted to each other. it's such an odd pairing! i know you know that, but i would like to know how they met and became interested in each other :) also, maybe some explanation as to the title.
but standing alone i think that it works well. i like that the two are open and honest with each other and there isn't really that complication of deception present. it's refreshing to read a one-shot like this !
really good job, robbi :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!!

Sorry I haven't responded before now, I just saw it XD shows you how often I check for reviews lol.

A squeal is in the works, but may be a long time coming. It will explain a lot more about their relationship as well as explore what happens after this one shot takes place.

I think I can reveal that at this point, their relationship is very new, so there is little to no deception present. I also wanted this fic to be lighter in nature, because most of it takes place after dark. I wanted to keep some form of balance haha

Thanks again for the review!!

Ta ta!

PP


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Review #10, by blueirony First Impressions

24th March 2011:
Aw, that was so sweet!

I think that a lot of people love writing Theodore and take the yes-I'm-Slytherin-but-I'm-good-I-swear! road and you did well with it.

I never would have pictured him with Hannah but they worked well together, I think. I almost want to see you write more! I would love to know how they ended up together and what happens to them in the future.

You did Hannah really well. I was really impressed with how you handled her. She was just your average girl with fears like everyone else and you made her so ordinary. Now, before you start panicking that that is a bad thing, let me explain. You made her real. You made her relatable. You made her believable. You made her ordinary to the point where she was not a Mary Sue at all. Just your normal teenage girl. And that's a hard thing to pull off! You did really well with her.

Overall, I really liked this. Short, cute and really sweet. Well done!

Joop (blueirony).

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review!! You really didn't have to ^.^

I adore Theo so much in the books (don't really know why) but he does seem like the type of Slytherin that would be good at heart.

The pairing thing...I wrote this for a challenge and I was challenged to write a Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance. So I was like OMG how do I do that?!?! So I chose two little know characters and put them together I really like how it turned out.

I am writing a sequel to this ^.^ be on the lookout!!

Aww thanks!! I did want to make Hannah as believeable as possible. I really wanted people to be able to relate to her as a character so I'm glad that you thought I did her justice.

Thanks again for the review!!

Ta ta!

PP


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Review #11, by Edward Ollivander First Impressions

2nd March 2011:
A nice little story. I've always been a sucker for this kind of thing though. It was fun to read a story about two little mentioned characters. i always like bringing some of them up in my stories as well. somehow it gives you a feeling of... satisfaction I guess you could say. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Thanks for the awesome review!!! I too like writing about the lesser known canon characters ^.^

Ta!!

PP


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Review #12, by WhatAboutRegulus First Impressions

30th January 2011:
Aww that was so cute :) I liked that very much! Really good job!

WhatAboutRegulus

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!!! I love it in all it's cuteness :D

ta ta!!
PP


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Review #13, by Kanga First Impressions

23rd January 2011:
Romance. For you, I read romance. I really am in love :P But hey, by no means does that mean this is bad :) Exactly the opposite, actually :)

First couple lines scared me a bit with Theo, I was worried he might be a little too un-Slytherin like, but that definitely not an issue, as I read more. He's very believable as a sort of unwilling Slytherin, which is always interesting. Oh and THANK YOU for not putting him with anyone in Gryffindor. Some things simply cannot happen, but a Hufflepuff would be the one to overlook someone being from Slytherin.

Haha, Filch always makes me laugh. Im not really sure why, he just does :P Ooooh, Theo's in trouble too. Let's see what happens *reads on* Great job capturing that feeling of being caught and being in trouble, especially for someone who doesn't seem to get up to much trouble.

"She desperately tried to slow her racing heart. Worried that Filch might hear it and suspect something." I think you meant a comma after the first sentence, so it was all one sentence. Gotta nit pick one little thing per review dear :P

Awww, more hand holding :) I like the end a lot, btw. They ended up together the night of the Yule Ball anyway, huh?

Another great one honey bear, and I don't just say that because I love you or because you're beautiful,

Your Kanga

Author's Response: Thanks for the awesome review!!! Slytherins and Hufflepuffs!!! Such an unlikely pair, yet they work so well together!!!

Filch makes me laugh too ^.^

I love hand holding!!!

Ta!!

PP


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Review #14, by phoenixy_friend First Impressions

12th September 2010:
Cute. Nott (like Theodore Nott, get it?) quite believable, but cute nonetheless.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

Yeah I can get that it's not totally believable, but I did try my hardest to make it at least plausible that they could somehow be together even if they are from different houses.

Thanks again for the review.


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Review #15, by Drummergirlred First Impressions

21st August 2010:
A nice unexpected pair. Nicely written and now I have a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I really enjoy 'forbidden' love stories. A lot of story in a little package, very nice.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!

haha yeah I like unexpected pairings for some reason :) I worked hard on this one-shot and I'm glad that people seem to like it :)

Thanks again!

PP


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Review #16, by CessZ First Impressions

21st August 2010:
WOW!!
I had never imagined a Slytherin to have such deep feelings...especially for a Hufflepuff!!!
The feelings, the theme and the atmosphere are well dealt with...Her hesitation is shown very well...I would love to read more...maybe events leading to this day and then a fall out???

Hoping to read more!!

~CessZ

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!

A sequel is in the works, but it deals with a lot more of the after than the before. If that makes sense. haha But it's not going to be all fluff :/ so I don't know how people will respond haha

Glad you liked it :)

PP


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Review #17, by AndrinaBlack First Impressions

18th August 2010:
This was really cute. With a more unusual pairing too, which is always nice. I think it worked well with Nott from slytherin as we don't really know much about him, unlike Draco.

The story moves on nicely and is quite pleasant to read, but I feel that there is a slight problem with the flow. I don't say that I would be the best to say what exactly to do, but maybe if you started sentenses a bit more with different words and a bit more binding words it would flow better. With this I mean that at times you begin many sentences in the same paragraph with the same kind of word, like a name. About the binding words I mean, that for example when she has reached the lake, you could start a sentence with a "there" or "then" or something like that, instead of starting so many sentences with "she". (though I have to say that sometimes I overuse words like that, which are not always needed in each place, so I might be wrong :P) You could also combine a couple of paragraphs as almost all of your paragraphs are two or three lines, just to get some variation.

That said, this was an enjoyable read. You included both cute romance and a bit of angst too, with some humour in the end. At least I thought it was kind of funny that Filch brought them together in the end in a way.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!

hahaha yeah I'm a fan of odd pairings, and seeing as this was written for a Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance challenge. I decided that a bit of an odd pairing would be the best.

Yeah I hadn't really noticed, but one of my betas for my other story pointed that out once. So maybe I should go back and start changing a few of those sentences around. haha thanks for pointing it out.

hahaha yeah I try to incorporate a few little bits of humor in to break up the angsty romance. I'm glad you liked it :)

ta ta!
PP


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Review #18, by ravenclawwriter First Impressions

18th August 2010:
To start with this is a very interesting and, I hope I'm not wrong in saying, unusual pairing. Definitely not one I've read before. Hannah and Theodore seem to have a strangely innocent quality to them which is quite refreshing and unexpected with the pairing. I loved the line about Hufflepuffs never staying up past ten. All the use of animal related words was good. I'm not sure if it was done deliberatly or if I just automatically pick out animal related words when I read. The narration was good and the little sections of what Hannah was thinking fit in well. I was quite sad about the length and would definitely choose to read more if you should write it.
Overall I thought the story was rather adorable.
-Cass

Author's Response: hey cass!! thanks for the review!!

Yeah it is an unusual pairing. This piece was written for a challenge where I had to write a Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance. So I took two minor canon characters and this was the end result.

haha I liked that line about the Hufflepuffs too!! It's by far one of my favorites, so I'm glad you liked it.

Animal related words? *has no idea* It wasn't done on purpose...but thanks for pointing it out!

haha well I'm actually in the process of writing the sequel to this.

Thanks again for the wonderful review!

ta ta!
PP


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Review #19, by Oh_Sugar_Quills First Impressions

18th August 2010:
It's an interesting pairing that you wrote, and you wrote it very well. I wonder how the other Hufflepuffs and Slytherins would have reacted to them being together.

I loved that even though they couldn't go to the ball, they still had detention together. I was feeling bad for them until that, and I thought it was a nice little addition.

The only thing I noticed was in the part where it said, "Theo kept throwing worried glances at Hannah. She wished that she wouldn't." It should have been, "She wished that he wouldn't." No big deal, though.

You did a great job!

Author's Response: thanks for the review!! and cool username by the way.

haha Yeah the pairing was actually for a challenge. I had to write a Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance so I chose two minor canon characters and let my imagination wander.

Ah dang! See I worked really hard to get this grammatically correct and now i'm going to have to go fix that. Thanks for pointing it out.

Thanks again for the review!!

ta ta!
PP


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Review #20, by Capella Black First Impressions

16th August 2010:
Wow, this is certainly an unusual pairing, and yet surprisingly beleivable as the story progressed. I love the plot twist where you have them spending the night of the ball together anyway, even if she couldn't get up the nere to openly be with a Slytherin. Nice. Really nice.

Generally, those borng things like spelling and grammar were great too. The exception to this: "It's surface smooth and clam." - I believe you meant "Its surface was smooth and calm." As I'm extremely sad I had a giggle at the idea of a clam lake, but that's probably because I was already in such a good from reading the rest.

The characterisations are great, and I particularly love how canon your teachers are - I can just imagine how scandalised Madam Pince would have been!

Overall, a great piece, and one I'm glad to have found!

Author's Response: hey thanks for the review!!

Yeah I like the unusual pairing here, I was challenged to write a Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance and so I choose two minor canon characters and ran with it.

I quite literally wrote this in one sitting and I loved it.

Yeah I'm going to have to go back and fix that now.it's gonna bug me. Thanks for pointing it out!!

I'm glad you liked it and thanks again for the review!!

ta ta!
PP


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Review #21, by GinnyCullen First Impressions

27th July 2010:
This was adorable and its nice to see house unity.

It was a cute story and I kinda hope you right about their detention.

Great job love ya
Ginny C

Author's Response: Aww thanks babe!!

You kinda gave me that extra little push I needed. I'm writing a sequel right now...but it's not about the detention.

What is it about you ask??

muahahaha

NOT TELLING!!

Love ya!
PP


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Review #22, by Malvado First Impressions

27th July 2010:
This is insanely cute XD

You took an odd couple and really made it work. I enjoyed reading this.

You're a better writer than what you think you are, and you should definitely put more of your stuff on here!

And by the way, "this was awesome."

-Malvado

Author's Response: Holy buckets of Chinese food!!

thanks so much for the review!! You didn't have to you know..

I really do like the odd couples. But I didn't even do this pairing on a whim. This was for a challenge where I had to write a Slyth/HuffPuff romance. SO I was like.er.

Then I thought of two seemingly unknown characters (Hannah and Theo) and brought them together.

The outcome? This story :P

Thanks again for this, it really did make my day!!

Love ya!!

Robyn


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Review #23, by Jazzeh Turnip First Impressions

26th July 2010:
I've never read anything of yours before despite talking to you on the forums a load and what not but I have to say, I'm impressed :) You're GOOD. You did use "make a beeline for" twice within a short space of time, and you did double up on your "?" in two place, but, PAH. Teeny tiny things.

I loved the little bit with Mrs Norris, she's such a hilarious character. It's funny how a cat can strike fear into anyones heart, haha.

I've never read this pairing before, either (it is a little odd, ^.^) but I really like it. I love fluffy little bits of fluff like this, and how they kinda got forced together at the end anyway was pretty funny.

It's all smoothly written and stuff, so no problems with your flow (far from it, actually), and it all makes sense, and none of it's too wordy, and it's all just... Great :D 9/10

Lorren.

Author's Response: Holy mother of applesauce!!

thanks so much for this review!! Note that this story has not been beta'd so I have no idea what shape it's in :P

I haven't even read it since I wrote it...maybe I should do that haha.

Yeah I'm one for those odd pairings, but this was for a challenge, I had to write a Slytherin/Hufflepuff romance. So I was like gah! So I choose two minor characters that were already named (I don't like inventing OCs...too much work), and put them together.

I'm so glad that it flows :P I was really worried about that for the longest time.

Thanks love for this awesome review, it made my day!!

Love Robyn


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Review #24, by prettywishes First Impressions

30th June 2010:
I loved the idea of a relationship between a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, because it's not something that you think of that you see that often. It would have be really need to see them go to the dance together, but at least they'll be together in detention! :)

Author's Response: hahaha well a sequal wasn't planned...but now you've got me thinking :P

If I do I will be sure to mention you!!

Thanks for this review!! It was for a challenge where I had to write a Huff/Slyth relationship and this was the result of my plot bunny.

Glad you liked it!!



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Review #25, by maskedmuggle First Impressions

10th May 2010:
Wow!
Awhh beautiful story :)
So sweet, loved it ^_^

Author's Response: thanks so much!!! I am probably going to add more to it later, so check back again for updates!!

PP


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