I'm really impressed by this story. I can't believe it only has 3 reviews - comes of writing Fleur, I suppose - she's not as popular as some canon. I've always liked her though, and I really liked the way you wrote her here. Your description is amazing, it really is incredibly vivid, it's like watching an art film. I love that it's about running, too, somehow I can really see that for Fleur. She thinks of herself as fragile in the beginning but purges that out of herself through her run, leaving only strength.
WTM - Ravenclaw Report Review
Seriously, your fics need WAY more love. I love how I get to read minor characters when I read your fics. Characters that not a lot of people take the time to explore and delve into, and you do this so beautifully.
The story flows so very well; I felt like I was running along with Fleur, the words just blended and flowed. I really liked the paragraph with the counting - that was really great.
I feel like there's only so many ways I can tell you how great your stories are without sounding lame, and I'm afraid I'm getting to the point where my reviews are probably just a jumble of praise and fangirling.
The last line was very fitting, tying everything together. I bet writing this was very cathartic, it would seem so anyway.
You have so much promise as a writer. Please don't ever stop!
forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw) Report Review
HOW DOES THIS ONLY HAVE ONE REVIEW?! IT'S TOO AMAZING TO ONLY HAVE ONE REVIEW!
*cough*ahem... I mean... hello. I really like your one shot. Your writing in this is super. This site definitely has some incredible authors, and you are one of them. Some of the lines in here were just so poignant. Scratch that, they all were. Especially in that one long paragraph. I thought that the number thing might be distracting, but it just melded perfectly with the other sentences. And usually, that kind of list just bothers me. But you made it work so well.
I think "All was beautiful, as one can only hope it to be." is one of my favorite fanfic lines. I have a list of lines that I just adore from various fics I've read, and this is definitely going on it. It just has so much meaning, and it was really a perfect way to end this.
It was a flawless blend of everything I look for in a good story. AND IT NEEDS MORE RECOGNITON! I'm proud to be your second review, though.
-NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Wow, now I know how you got your reputation as a reviewer! Thank you so much, especially for giving some loving to what I like to think of as the runt in my litter of stories. I've actually done huge revisions on this piece to make it work outside of the fanfic world, but I'm really happy that you enjoyed it in its original form. I definitely appreciate your review! Report Review
Hi, it's JaneTwilight here from the forums with your review. Wow, when I set this challenge I never knew that the stories would be as good as this!
You've used everything in here, I especially loved your use of personification and hyperboles, oh, and your use of illiteration was fantastic, I especially loved the use of sibilance near the end of this story, very effectively applied! You managed onomatopeia very well, people usually struggle to apply it to their writing because they're not used to using it but you did an amazing job!
I particularly loved your personification of the wind 'breathing life into her hair', that was one of my favourite lines.
Many people tend to struggle with SHAMPOO's because they're so busy focusing on how they are going to use those eight writing devices that they forget to take care to tell the story properly. You did a fantastic job with this, you used the writing devices flawlessly, getting across all of her thoughts, her feelings and emotions, the environment around her and the way it effected her, everything was brilliant!
Goodluck with my challenge, It was a pleasure reading this.
Jane_VolturiAuthor's Response: Hey! Sorry it has taken so long for me to respond. I had AP exams, an internship, and finally graduation. :)
Thank you so much for such a glowing review. You're too kind. I tried to use the SHAMPOOs in a way that they would help the story and the writing, rather than simply placing them in there for the heck of it. I'm glad you found them effective! :)
I really enjoyed writing for this challenge. It was, just like my title, cathartic. I hope you issue another challenge in the future--this one was fun and definitely helped to improve my writing.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing! You truly understood my story and what I was going for, and that means so much to me.
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