i really enjoy this story so far. i do hope you'll continue with it.
not to be rude or anything, but i did notice that you have a slight tendency to leave out small words, like 'about'. now i could be wrong, but i thought i would say something just in case.
love your story. Report Review
Excellent chapter and I liked how you wrote the Hufflepuffs in this chapter. Please update soon thanks as I am enjoying the story. Thanks for writing.Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I really enjoyed writing them. And I will, I am almost finished the next chapter, all I am waiting for is the submitting to be opened again (:
- Aly. Report Review
I know how you feel, I started writing again this month, because I broke my jaw, and it seemed like the easiest thing to do was blame my grammatical errors on broken bones too! This is a great introduction, there are a few grammar errors, and I notice you write kind of like me, long winded. That's not necessarily a bad thing though, I think it's a good thing actually, makes you work more descriptive. One tip, when you read over your work, read every sentence seperately and see how you can change it to flow nicer (that's what they make us do on papers at uni, it sucks but it works).
Anyway, this is a wonderful beginning to a story, I really enjoy that you are writing it about Susan. I will try to read the next two chapters soon! Keep writing and good job!Author's Response: Wow, thank you for taking the time to write this review. It's really great, thanks. And oww, a broken jaw? Ouch! And thanks for that, I'll make sure to go through it some time soon to change that and thanks for the tip, I'll try to remember that next time (:
Again, thanks for the review, love.
- Aly. Report Review
Once again a good chapter!
It is nicely detailed and describitive. I also like how its not fast paced, I am not particually a fan on those fan fictions which are like "woah! Where are we now?". Yeah they do confuse me :L. See yours I can understand what is happening and the settings etc, i can follow along nicely and not having to scroll up back to the top to see if I have missed something.. I like fan fictions like yours :D.
Look forward to the next chapter and some Susan/Harry action, Huzzah!!
Lucy.Author's Response: That's great, I am always worrying about the slowness of my story development - so thank you for this review, love :) Report Review
Bravo. Very cute. Never really thought about a Susan Bones story.Author's Response: Thank you so much! Report Review
This is an good piece of fan fiction. Something unusal and new to read. I like the idea of having a minor character, it is very interesting to see how people picture them indivually.
I like this chapter seeing how Susan is coping with all of her different emotions and Harry's similarties towards her, trying to comfort her, etc. They both have no realtions to them left. :(.
Keep up the good work, I look forward to see what emotions, feelings, friendships etc.. are involved in the next chapter.
Lucy.Author's Response: Awww. Thank you so much! Like I have said many times, I live for the little characters, for me they are far too unappreciated :) Next chapter is on the way!
- Aly Report Review
I liked how you wrote Harry and Susan in this chapter talking about her Aunt's death and Voldemort. Please keep up the good work as I am enjoying the story. Thanks for writing another cool chapter.Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much :) The next chapter might take just a bit longer due to a few family issues and getting my cast changed but not too long, I assure you. Again, thank you so much and thanks for reading. I love you for that Report Review
Awesome beginning and I liked how you wrote Susan Bones. Please update soon thanks.Author's Response: Aw, thank you! You don't know how much I love you for reviewing. Next chapter is almost done! (: Report Review
I loved it and I am also really interested to see where you take this story. I love the idea that you are giving the characters who we never really think about stories of their own. If there were any spelling mistakes I didn't notice any as I read but perhaps that was just because I was too busy enjoying the chapter! Hopefully it will get happier but I guess you had to introduce it some way. Great start and I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with! Alex :)Author's Response: Oh, thank you. Minor characters are always my favourite and thank you so much for taking the time to review! And yeah, I understand that it was pretty depressing - well, sombre, maybe - but that will get better. Haha. Again, thank you for reviewing, the next chapter is nearly finished. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection