Your writing is so funny! I really love your sense of humor, but I think you could elaborate on topics cause I think your story kinda flows fast. Like its on fast forward. But that may be because I read it too fast, otherwise love your humor! Report Review
oh LOL how cool!
I really like the start of your story, even from the first chapter it was really good!!
I hope you can keep it up because its setting up to be a really awesome story ;D
I like Gus, she seems like a rather cool cat of a character, and Albus' mental ramblings? reeeally funny :D 'specially in the first chapter with him running away from Gus!
lol at the wild goose chase ;)
... I had something else to say, but I seem to have forgotten it
Thanks for the update, I'm looking forward to the next chapter :D
OH YES, ... well what I was going to say isn't nearly as exciting as I remembered it to be, but I was going to say that I think the tie was Scorpius' ;) :O Report Review
hello! i like this story! i love the line "how is he not gay?" haha, so hilarious! i hope either gus or albus admit to having a huge crush on the other, some romance needs to get going here! anyway, keep writing and update soon! Report Review
I really like the summary; it made me want to read the story straight away. I also like Albus and Gus, Albus' thoughts are funny and Gus' reaction too.
This isn't so much a grammatical problem or anything, but more the text. It's a little easier to read if there's a space of a line between each paragraph/bit of dialogue... however, that's more just my preference than something important.
"Yes, Al, excellent. Maybe if you move at the pace of a flobberworm, she'll mistake you for one and be on her way." - one of my favourite quotes from here. :D
- Ria_Lee Report Review
"Well call me a pink pigmy puff and ship me off to China."
My favorite quote. It gave me a laugh. Looved it! Please continue :) Report Review
Eep. I loved it. So funny :) Report Review
Hmmm.Still liking the story! :)
The Al-Gus interaction is great!
Oh yeah, could you ask Gus if it's okay that I call her Gus? She might not like it, yeah? Or can only Albus call her 'Gus'? Yes, Augusta, I'm teasing you. :D
The interaction, once agin, is completely believable, realistic and plain hilarious! :D
I love it! :D
UPDATE SOON! :)
Ak~ Report Review
OH, wow! This is great! :)
I love how you've used Al's POV...he's just too awesome! I love writing him! :D
I'm guessing that Al's in love with her, but doesn't really know it yet? Yes?
Men -shakes head-
Anyway, like I said, this chapter is great, the grammar is pretty okay I guess. I couldn't find any glaring mistakes.
But (there's always a 'but' :P), you could do with a BETA. It'd make your story loads better. Either that, or you proofread this at least twenty times, which I'm sure you don't have the time for unless you're sitting at hime all the time doing nothing but hanging around at HPFF reading or watching TV (like me) but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is that, the story would really go on the next level if you had a beta! :)
Gus, yes! I like her too! A great character! :)
All in all a great read! :)
Moving on to the next! :D
Ak~Author's Response: Ha, I think I'm in love with the Potter Boys, so it only made sense to write this from Albus's POV. And as for a Beta, I'm actually reading up on it right now. I'm a little scared to get one, to tell the truth. Meep. But, clearly my writing mechanics need more help than I can give. So, we'll see :) Report Review
Ahahahahahaha! LOVED IT! I was having issues controling my laughter (my window is open and I didn't want the neighbors asking too many questions). This was HILARIOUS! Now, normally, I'm not a big fan of second generation stories, but this is an exception. PLEASE keep writing.Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad you find it amusing! It's fun to be an exception :) Report Review
AWW! Those two are so adorable :D
I love that Gus is a Longbottom...she definetly not as shy as Neville was at that age. It's a rally nice twist.
And don't worry, I didn't see any issues. Your writing is really good, and your humor has the perfect balance of funny and believable.
10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much :) Report Review
Haha Really funny update soon!Author's Response: Thanks :)
Update's on the way! Report Review
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