The visual imagery in this fic is absolutely stunning. Really. The beginning really sets the scene wonderfully and I could fully imagine the setting in my head. Again, it was very whimsical and dreamlike.
The promise of the ominous-sounding 'tomorrow' was very well written, and I really felt for the characters. Sounds like they're gonna go through a rough time. I think with your writing you are able to say a lot with just a few words, which is really admirable.
If anything, I wish I knew who the characters were immediately without having to guess. I had to check the description to see who it was. Just a minor thing though.
Fab work :) Report Review
Hello again! :)
I have returned for another round of reviews on this very merry Chrsitmas eve (I'm only 3 hours off of Christmas eve xD).
So. This story was Beautiful! It may not help that I am a sucker for Tonks/Remus stories (they are my favorite pairing), but I did not see any grammatical errors, or errors of any kind. I did see a lot of imagery and the flow of one sentence to the next was mesmerizing to the point where I got lost within the words. The small pieces of each of the characters was amazing too. Tonks held her clumsy edge, and there was a little bit of a different side of Remus, one I haven't seen written into his character. And that would be his sort of carefree way of holding himself, of him enjoying the time he has with Tonks. Most Tonks/Remus I have read contain Remus being really...withdrawn, I guess. So that bit of characterization was really refreshing.
I also stand in amazement. 500 words even? I'm not sure I could ever manage that in the delicate way you have. It's amazing. You really made a strong standing story in so few words! So, before I go, I will share my favorite part:
"Wrapping themselves in each other, they were shielded from tomorrow’s perils. Their fierce optimism protected them from despair, their despair inviting realism, a battle of keeping their heads and minds above the surface of misery."
These two sentences...I don't know why, but they sort of stuck to me. The made me smile, just a little bit.
~Secret Santa :D Report Review
Eeee! You're just so good! I keep saying to myself that I should try the every word count challenge, but I could not managed to get anywhere in 500 words. Sometimes my paragraphs end up that long (okay, slight exageration) so I'm always sort of stunned when people managed to do amazing things with like, no words.
The imagery on this is just mouthwatering. I read it aloud to myself, I'm not sure why, but it seemed liked one of thoes stories which was asking to be read out loud. It was great out loud, by the way - and it highlighted the fact that you're writing is so precise and perfectly executed.
The relationship, the weather and everything. It was so optimistic and wonderful.
As normal, I virtually have nothing to say. There was one line at the beginning, wait... "For this moment, all was still" that made me stop for a second having an inner debated about whether it should be 'was' or not. I'm sure that is actually correct (I'm no grammar person) but it just seemed to be quite strange to have 'this moment' right next to the past tense. Probably just me though, so feel free just to ignore that.
Anyway, I really liked it (as always - stop being so good. You'll make people feel bad) and I'm verrryyy impressed with the whole 500 words this.
-AC Report Review
You have been tagged!
I absolubtly love the detail you've put into this story! Not mentioning the names of the characters enhanced their surroundings and their feautures to make it seem almost in a paradise location.
Even though the story is so short it gives so much away within the story which makes it even more lovable!
I really like this 10/10
GinevraMollyPotterAuthor's Response: thank you very much! Report Review
I've written a couple of one-shots for this challenge, as well, and so when I came across yours I clicked on it almost instantly. I love these stories, because I think it's so lovely when someone can tell a story in 500 words and do it so well.
I've only read Glass before on your author's page, but it seems to be a general rule that whatever you write, your words are going to have a lovely, flowing quality about them. :) They are delicate, and I think my favorite thing about this story as a whole was how put-together it all looked, and how each word seemed placed there on purpose. In a story as short as this, you can't wander, and this was so polished and lovely.
I like the anonymity here, too - leaving it up to the imagination, as you have, makes me more engaged with the people you've written about. You wrote nothing explicitly and I could feel their emotions perfectly anyway. Their fear, their uncertainty, their tension, and yet how much they loved each other in spite of it all.
I have to remark very quickly on how much your title impressed me - it's subtle, and you have to pay attention to glean its meaning, or you very well might miss it. You could have picked no better.
Favorite line --
Wrapping themselves in each other, they were shielded from tomorrow’s perils.
I'm not sure why this, out of everything, made me feel as it did, but it seems to strike a chord. It sort of sums up everything in the story, really, the complexity of the emotions your characters weave.
You write so beautifully, Marina, and now that I've become more exposed to you (if only having read two stories) I think I'm going to have to drop by here more often. This story was lovely, you did an amazing job.Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such an awesome and long review!
I'm quite fond of the 500 word challenge (this being my second entry for it) because it tends to suit me. When I write one-shots, they mostly tend to be on the shorter side, so I naturally lean towards short pieces anyway (I think that's because I'm lazy...). So, I enjoyed writing this a lot.
I am really pleased with the title of this! I think you're one of the first to pick up on it, which I suppose is how I intended it ;) It really is just about them snatching a few moments of calm in the midst of all the crazy war stuff.
Thank you so much :) Report Review
Hi there. A claw review for you!
I was itching to read this when I was looking through your stories, and now I've had the chance.
What a beautiful job you've done here. You've caught such a powerful emotion and have given it such justice with only a few words. I think it's all that's needed.
This piece is like an English teacher's dream. They could use it to talk about all the wonderful literary techniques that can be used to transform words into art. That's what you've done.
I also think Remus and Tonks was a great pair to be represented in this. Their relationship feels so short and precious as it is...especially considering what happens to them. It's really one of those fateful loves that holds onto everything precious.
I also love the more moral side of the story--you've brought out the beauty that exists in every day that we often don't see. Or ignore. But it's so important. We need to live every day like its our last.
Absolutely breathtaking piece. Loved it.
-schoenemaedchenAuthor's Response: ee thanks so much! I get way too excited by reviews, so thank you so much once again!
I remember finishing this and being extremely insecure. I couldn't pinpoint what it was I didn't like about it - luckily I ignored myself and posted it anyway and I think it's one of my best pieces :)
thanks so much for the LOVELY LOVELY review :D Report Review
LOOK. Here I am again, frolicking around spreading reviews. And I've ONCE AGAIN stumbled upon you. Can I just point out how happy this makes me? Reviewing you OVER AND OVER until I manage to make you uncomfortable? :P
ANYWAY, this was lovely. Which is the truth, even though I've been saying "lovely" in a lot of my reviews lately. This, what you've written here, is gorgeous. Though, you know, I would expect nothing less.
Your style is just flawless, my dear. I mean, really, your words just melt into each other and I don't even realized I've finished until I reach the tiny review box at the bottom of the screen. I think what originally drew me in was James McAvoy on your banner (swoon), but your words definitely kept me here. They always do.
Once again, another masterpiece from Marina. ALL HAIL AMAZING WRITER. And if you could see me right now, you'd know that I was bowing.
xx RinAuthor's Response: Rin! Excessive praise ALWAYS makes me uncomfortable... but in a good way! Promise! Thank you dear ♥ your surprise reviews make my life :) Report Review
Marina. I am really fond of your attempt at non-angst. It most definitely still has the delicate and beautiful description that is expected when I read your works, but it is sweet and full of stollen happiness.
Have a very Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Dear Christmas Elf,
Thank you so much for the lovely words! I really appreciate the thought!
Marina Report Review
That's so beautiful. A little lovely moment in between all the bad and angsty stuff that is going on for them. You painted the picture of the place so beautifully that I really would have liked to be there and laugh with someone and have a lovely time like they did. I also liked the symbolic shadows that crept on at the end. I'm not sure if it was a good or a bad thing but I don't know if I would have guessed who it was about unless I had read it in the story description. It did not bother me personally as it felt like such a general piece that could be about many different couples and simply the situation. Great job!Author's Response: aww Annina! thank you so much! I am beginning to grow proud of this piece and to know that you enjoyed it makes me so incredibly happy! Report Review
Such a fabulous banne and little one-shot. Man that you can write something like that in 500 words makes me quite jealous. It was great to see Remus and Toonks like this together and the way you wrote this just WOW! I especially liked this line: He traced the freckles on her nose with a cold finger, her eyes captured by his gaze. This litlle line was just so intense and I think it tells alot about Remus and Tonks. But hey that’s the way I see it you daon’t have to agree with me on this.Author's Response: aww thank you so much!!! I'm quite proud of this one, so I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Writing for a limit is challenging, but I always find it fun and worthwhile. thank you so much for reviewing!! :D Report Review
How in the world did you just do that? That was amazingly beautiful! &Only 500 words? Wow I'm in awe right now. I know I couldn't do it. So congrats on that!
It's so great to see Remus&Tonks this way. &This eye of the storm just fit perfectly. I'm glad they had this day together, and didn't let all the other stuff ruin it.
Gosh the detail in this was really good. You did and awesome job! Thanks for having me read this =)Author's Response: oh thank you so much! *blushes* I don't know how I did it, I wasn't even sure I liked this when I posted it - thank yuo SO much! Report Review
This is honestly one of the most beautiful things i've ever read. i cried when i read it. I really did. I've been crying and laughing all evening. My mum nearly cried when she read it too. Thank you so so so so much. It was a lovely birthday present. We all know how much i love Lupin and Tonks. You are a really really clever writer. the subtleties in there were really good... it makes so many ways to interpret it. I love it lots and you lots
xAuthor's Response: you're far too kind! thank you so much xxx Report Review
Oh, this is excellent, Marina! It's filled with beautiful imagery and warmth (even though there's a lot of coolness in the water, his finger, and growing darkness). What's perfect about this story is how you push aside the storm and give readers this short, but happy moment between Remus and Tonks. It's great to see the two of them together in this way, instead of always plagued by shadows and war.
The descriptions here are amazing and I'm glad that I stopped in to read this. It was a wonderful treat! ^_^Author's Response: wow Susan, this completely made my day. When I got home half an hour ago, I was considering deleting this and rewriting and then hiding it away... but the fact that this review comes from you means more than I can say... thank you so much! Report Review
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