Reading Reviews for A Witch Named Bellatrix
  
52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mad Moony The Meeting at 12 Grimmauld Place

30th December 2012:
Update soon . . .please the story is very very interesting . .

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Review #2, by magicmuggle01 The Black Sisters Three

3rd May 2012:
Watch out world, the Black sisters are in town. And I have a funny feeling that they are packing a lot of trouble.
Once again another lovely chapter.
I loved the reunion between the sisters, I always say that family should stick together.
I can't wait to see the next chapter, you wonderful writer you. 10/10 and please update soon.

Author's Response: I do love the Black sisters!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #3, by Dobbylovesock The Dark Lord

14th April 2012:
Your great writing about Bella!spot on!:D

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #4, by Bellatrix McGonagall The Grey Commander

3rd April 2012:
Please hurry up with the next chapter

Author's Response: Don't worry, I'm on it :)

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Review #5, by Kwan The Grey Commander

30th March 2012:
The story improves marginally as you write on. The writing definitely gets better in the latter chapters you've written so far.

I think you need to focus on capturing the character of Bella. You've taken great lengths to retread the steps in which she became this character but I still feel as if I don't know her. I don't understand her motivations nor do I know why she acts the way she does. All of her actions seem to just be random provocation to events and I can't get a grip as to who she is.

Seeing as how this story is Bella-centric, I think it's important you to establish why she's doing all of this. Give her a reason to do this besides, "This is what the prophecy said." Even when Voldemort listened to the prophecy in canon, it was because he was an egomaniac. Here, I don't understand Bella's motivations.

Continue working on your dialgoue and really hone in on Bella as a character. Once you can establish who she is and what she would act like, I feel you can really take off and not be encumbered by retelling the events of canon.

Keep on writing and good luck!

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Review #6, by Kwan Secrets

30th March 2012:
I understand you now when you say that your dialogue is flat. It isn't so much the content of the dialogue, but who is speaking. For example, I could never see Narcissa saying, "Pinky swear" or "No..but seriously."

I understand in the context of the situation, they were acting like two sisters again, but Narcissa is a woman of elegance, not a teenage girl. Voldemort's dialogue is good, but Bellatrix vacillates between slavish Smeagol and a helpless woman in love, giving her a whiny character that is on the verge of unlikable. Sirius and Rudolph in the previous chapter sounded almost caveman-ish.

I think an exercise that would help you is speaking the dialogue aloud. When you write it down, speak it out loud to yourself as if you were actually having the conversation. That way you can determine if a character like Narcissa or Bellatrix would say something like that and if it flowed well.

You may sound crazy, but the dialogue in your story will improve tenfold.

Author's Response: As I said, this story needs a lot of work. And that's a good strategy. I'm surprised I hadn't though of that!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #7, by magicmuggle01 The Grey Commander

18th October 2011:
Excellent chapter. I loved the prophecy and can't wait to see the role that Bellatrix now has in your story. 10/10 and plz update asap.

Author's Response: What I love about turning Bella good is that it changes everything. Because Narcissa was rescued and Draco may or may not stay evil, Dumbledore will not be killed by Draco. He might not even die.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by magicmuggle01 The Order of the Phoenix

12th October 2011:
I hope the order manage to rescue Bella's sister. Another excellent and exciting chapter. Another 10/10. Plz update soon.

Author's Response: I just posted the next chapter!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #9, by magicmuggle01 Into The Mists

1st October 2011:
I love it. It'll be great to read the continuation when you write it. Let me know when it's up and running in a review of one of my stories and I'll be on it like a shot. Fav this story and 10/10.

Author's Response: There is no continuation. I combined the two together so the next chapter will be a part of this!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #10, by magicmuggle01 Bellatrix Lestrange... A Traitor

1st October 2011:
So she was sincere. A nice finish to this story, though I notice that there is another chapter after this. So another well earned 10/10 and moving onto the (what I assume) epilogue.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing so so so so so much!

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Review #11, by magicmuggle01 A Face In Her Mind's Eye

1st October 2011:
Aahhh CLIFFIE. I forgive you, but only because the next chapter is already up LOL:D. Excellent chapter and another 10/10. Moving on.

Author's Response: Phew good thing you forgave me!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #12, by magicmuggle01 The Great Hall

1st October 2011:
I wonder if Bella is sincere, she seemed to agree a bit to quickly for my liking. Only reading on will tell me. 10/10 and moving on.

Author's Response: When I get to this chapter for editing I'll definitely add some more deliberation!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #13, by magicmuggle01 The Prophecy

1st October 2011:
I expected something about the prophecy about Potter not a prophecy about Bellatrix. You certainly know how to surprise someone. Another excellent chapter and 10/10. Moving on.

Author's Response: Really? That's awesome! Thanks!

And thanks for reviewing!


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Review #14, by magicmuggle01 Game Plan

1st October 2011:
Another excellent chapter. Even if it was standard stuff that had to be included. 10/10 and moving on.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #15, by magicmuggle01 Before The Battle

1st October 2011:
Another excellent chapter. This story gets better with each chapter you do. I've come to expect that you do the most unexpected things at times. So 10/10 and to move on.

Author's Response: Whoah that's so nice of you! I just like plot twists and surprises!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #16, by magicmuggle01 Secrets

1st October 2011:
It seems hard to believe that Bella can have a soft spot, even towards family. And Draco is not Lu's son. Nice one. I wonder if you will have him finding this out in this story? Excellent chapter with another 10/10 and moving on.

Author's Response: Yeah my Bella is fairly OOC. But in HBP, she seems to care for Narcissa a little bit as she tries to protect her. I'm not sure about Lucius finding out... It's not very important to Bella's story besides as a subplot.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by magicmuggle01 Duels and Rejections

1st October 2011:
So Sirius was set up by his cousin. Another excellent chapter with another 10/10. Moving on.

Author's Response: I think you're my #1 reviewer!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #18, by magicmuggle01 Work To Do

1st October 2011:
Bella was certainly enjoying herself. Now Sirius is on the scene, things should heat up nicely. Another excellent chapter and 10/10. Moving onto the next chapter.

Author's Response: Sigh... I love Bella... Yes Sirius does liven it up a bit!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #19, by magicmuggle01 The Dark Lord

1st October 2011:
Hi, as long as the rest of this story is as good as this first chapter, I don't care how long the chapters are. An excellent start and 10/10. Must move onto the next chapter.

Author's Response: The first two chapters are the best right now until I fix up the later ones. The good news is that instead of being a short story this is now officially a novella!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #20, by bellatrixlestrange123 The Dark Lord

10th August 2011:
requested review!

Hiya, i'm so sorry if this is a little late but i've been a little busy bee lately and hardly even checked my review thread for so long..anyway! let's continue.

I like your beginning and where you're going with the whole idea, but it seemed a bit vague. The main thing i look ut fr when i do reviews or even just read a story in general is weather or not it has the right amount of discription in. What i mean by that is as a write you have to make sure to leave some aspects of the story to the reader's imagination but you have to also supply them with information on the basics of the surroundings, people etc. But you have to do it in a way that is suttle...Trust me, i make it sound complicated, but it really isn't :o)

I actually don't think there is anything wrong with your dialouge, it is a bit short but it's fine, i'm sure in further chapter's it gets even better :) i love your personalisation of bella and how you create and make us know of how twisted and mad she is.

I look forward to more, just request for further chapters :)

Bella..(The nice one;D)

Author's Response: No problem! I can sympathize with lateness i.e. responding a while after you posted this review!

Ah I forgot to add that to areas of concerns! Descriptiveness is something I always need to work on.

I sure hope it gets better! Oh she is twisted and mad... or is she?

I will when I'm not too lazy (in a month or two probs)!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #21, by fairytalelover3 Duels and Rejections

1st August 2011:
I really liked how you wrote all the relationships in this chapter. her loathing of Sirius and with rudolphus she doesn't hate him but doesnt love him, brilliant.

Author's Response: Bellatrix is quite an enigma. You never really know what she's thinking! But her relationships are rather obvious. Reading the books, you can tell her and Sirius didn't have the best relationship. Jo said that Bella didn't love Rodolphus. I just took a guess and made them companions and friends... ish...

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #22, by fairytalelover3 Work To Do

1st August 2011:
I can't wait to see what Sirius does. I really like it so far, at the village bellatrix is exactly how she should be!

Author's Response: Gah I love Bellatrix -less than three-

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #23, by fairytalelover3 The Dark Lord

1st August 2011:
really good, bellatrix is written good.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #24, by Ehlana Duels and Rejections

8th January 2011:
Haha, last chapter I wondered whether you were a Robin Hood-fan ... now I know ^^
btw I love this story!!!

Author's Response: I hate Robin Hood! A clue: No.

You caught me! I love Robin Hood!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by massieblockrox Bellatrix Lestrange... A Traitor

17th November 2010:
A good ending to a good story. Excellent job! I really enjoyed it! Usually I don't read Death Eater centered fics, but I can make an exception, because Bella is now nice.

Author's Response: I wouldn't really call her nice... or good... I would call her... misunderstood...

Thank you so much for reading this story AND REVIEWING! *air kisses and hugs*


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