Reading Reviews for Invisible
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by gingersnape Invisible

7th April 2011:
Wow. Just wow. That's all I can think about right now, after reading this! The description in this was stunning and the imagery would have left me speechless if I weren't quietly writing this in the dead of night when I'm not talking anyways! The information is slowly revealed, yet it all is so vivid that I feel as though I am Dominique and I have loved Scorpius and that is my cousin issuing him as I hide in the sand, completely invisible to the one I love and the one I must care about.

It is poignantly bittersweet to the degree that it is really beautiful on one level because a blind love is unfolding in one world, but in another, a heart is being broken and taken out to sea by the very tide that brings two people together. It's almost warm, yet the angst makes the whole piece so much deeper that it really feels like I can relate to Dominique in a very very realistic way. It was really wonderful to read and I look forward to more of your stories for this was amazing! :)

Author's Response: Hi Annie! Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to leave this incredible review. I'm sorry it's taken a while for me to respond, it doesn't reflect on my appreciation of this I promise! It can sometimes be intimidating when someone leaves you such a thoughtful and indepth review, as I know I won't be able to write a review response to give it justice.

Haha, well I'm glad this left you speechless at such a convenient time! ;)

I'm really so so glad you enjoyed this. I'm very nervous about it, I wonder whether it is too cliched or unrealistic, so the fact that you can relate to her emotions really means a lot. Wow, I'm sure this review is more poetic and beautiful than the actual story!

I am so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for reviewing, it means the world. This review really made me smile, you're amazing! Thank you.

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Review #2, by Owlpost68 Invisible

6th April 2011:
I thought it was really well written. It was interesting how it was only her, and there wasn't any dialogue. I kind of hope to think there is someone she can talk to about it. I guess sometimes people don't though. Really sad to think about really. I personally don't like thinking that there are any next gen children who would go unnoticed. I know there are a lot of them, but in each individual weasley family, there aren't too many kids. So, I guess the story did it's job. I thought it was really well written, but it might depress me too much to enjoy much. I did love the way you described the elements around her though, I thought it kind of emphasized the way she was feeling in the environment. Very beautiful.

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for taking the time to write this thoughtful review, it really made me smile. Ha, I'm sorry that it depresses you, but if it's any comfort, she's probably not always miserable, just embracing her inner angst for this fic :P I love the next gen kids too, I'll definately write something where Dom is happy to balance it out! :D I'm glad the lack of dialogue didn't put you off. I'm really happy you liked the description, that's important to me. Thank you so much for reading this and leaving this lovely review, I understand angst isn't always the easiest thing to read, but the fact that you've tried to find positive points about this means a lot! Thank you :)

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Review #3, by Mintleaf Invisible

2nd April 2011:
This was a completely gorgeous bit of writing! Normally the present tense puts me off but you've somehow pulled it off here! The whole thing was written beautifully and was very believable. Your symbolism and use of literary devices was perfect! The only criticism I have is that this line doesn't seem to fit at all, 'She imagines they would taste of citrus fruits and champagne...' the rest of the story seems very mature, but this line just sounds so childish. But that's seriously the only bad word I have against this story! Great work! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you very much for taking the time to leave a review. Present tense is strange, but it can be very effective, especially when better writers than me use it, but I'm glad you like this all the same. Thanks for the feedback too - I understand what you mean, and though this was written a while ago, if I ever edit it I will look for inconsistancies in the tone. Thank you very much for your lovely review xx

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Review #4, by _Leo_ Invisible

1st April 2011:
I thought this was beautiful! Very descriptive and detailed, it was like watching those moments between Scorpius and Rose through Dom's eyes. Just the perfect length too, just a moment in time.
I feel sad for her, that not only her crush is going out with her cousin, but that she's also invisible to him!
I don't really have any criticism, constructive or otherwise, it was great ;) No grammar or spelling mistakes to distract from the story, which is always good.
xxx Leo

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to review :) I'm really happy you liked this, and didn't find it too short. Some people find that off putting, so it's a comfort you didn't! You're absolutely lovely, thank you for all your kind words and encouragement, it means a lot xx

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Review #5, by strawberrydarhling Invisible

28th February 2011:
I can't believe you have never wrote romance before because this is great! Dom/Scorpius is one of my favourite ships but nearly every next Gen fic is Rose/Scorpius so I love it when I chance upon A D/S.

You have done a great job with this and should think about writing some more romance :)


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love Scorpius/Dominique, so glad to find another fan! I agree, it seems like everything is Scorpius Rose! I'm sorry this wasn't a fic where they were together. If you are a fan, I recommend you search for 'Celestie' as she writes very good Scorminiques. It's sad there aren't more out there! Thank you very much for all your encouragement, I really appreciate you took the time to review and it really made me smile. Thank you so much :)

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Review #6, by datbenik513 Invisible

25th February 2011:
Another gem from your pen, my dear. For me a revelation as I'm not too keen on reading next-gen stories; from your pen I'd surely read anything except Draco/Hermione or Draco/Harry :D

I was drowning in the beautiful, poetic imagery all through the story. Written in impeccably clean grammar and exceptionally rich vocabulary, it rises well above the general standards of this - or any other - fanfic site, and for me, a non-native English speaker, a lust for the eye and mind.

Dominique's unrequited love is tragic. Any love, unrequited and unanswered, is tragic, but for her it's becoming unbearable, seeing that the object of her love, Scorpius, is dating her cousine, Rose. She will have to live with hit, bear the sight of their happiness, every moment of which will slowly kill her, little by little.

I'm left utterly speechless and can't do anything else but scream out my admiration of your amazing writing skills.

Now, I saw you were planning on a Cho one-shot. I also have one, called "There You'll Be". I know, I'm shameless :D it's just I'm curious what gem you will be coming up with next time :D

Full marks, of course.

Author's Response: Hello again! This is the highest praise. Really you are being far too kind and I don't believe a word of it, but it's lovely to hear all the same. Don't worry, I'm confident in saying neither of those ships will ever come from my pen!

I am so glad you enjoyed this. Description is my first love, and that's what made writing this fic so enjoyable. I don't know about clean grammar though, it's always risking for me to post without a beta's help haha! Your comment about vocabulary is extremely welcome, but I feel I need to include more of it in my future fics, though it's good to be complimented on it all the same :) Honestly you are being far, far too kind. This review has made my day.

Unrequited love IS tragic, and yet like you I love to write angst, and it's such wonderful food for the angst writer. That being said, I fear perhaps Weasley family love triangles are over done, so it's a comfort that you enjoyed it.

I hope you will enjoy the Cho one-shot if you get a chance to read it! It's odd how similar are choice of subjects to write on are haha! It's an odd one shot and I'll be interested in your feedback.

Thank you so so so much for these reviews. You praise me far too much than I deserve, but as encouragement goes this is invaluable and maybe one day with such encouragement I'll be a little more worthy of such praise!
Thank you!!

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Review #7, by Black_Lupin_Ravenclaw Invisible

3rd January 2011:
wow. That was... i don't know... ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKINGLY AMAZING?
I loved this. Never thought of Dom as a heart-broken invisible girl.
Thanks for showing me that side of her. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving this review!! Aww I'm so so pleased you like it, it means a lot. Ahh that's the fun with NG, we can play with them heheh ^_^ I do feel bad for poor Dom though, as she's one of my favourite characters. Thank you so much for taking the time to review, it means so much

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Review #8, by Akussa Invisible

16th December 2010:
Lovely story; really well described and so emotionally strong.
Excellent work with this subject, especially considering it was your first try with romance.
Happy Christmas!!

Akussa S.S.

Author's Response: Thank you again for taking the time to review. That you found this story was full of emotion means a lot, as it's an important thing for me to convey. Thanks so much for these reviews, they mean a lot and are inspiring me to try and write some more fanfiction. Happy Christmas to you too!

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Review #9, by Saveod Invisible

7th December 2010:
Lovely. :)
10/10 x

Author's Response: It was lovely to recieve this. Thank you so much xx

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Review #10, by MarsIsBrightTonight Invisible

1st December 2010:
This is beautifully written, and the description is just amazing..ah it just makes me HAPPY!

*Puts on serious face again*

I love how you've portrayed Dominique, how different she is to those veela likes who are all perfect. She has her flaws, yet she's lovely :')

Right, after reading this I'm going to busy myself by going and reading all your other stories.

See you in my next review! *waves excitedly*


Author's Response: Hello!! Thank you! I love a bit of description ;) Thought this one might be too heavily descriptive though - so I'm glad you enjoyed it! Pssst, don't tell anyone, but my other stories are terrible :P Haha, I think I'm going to have a bit of a fresh start and write some better thingss. But thank you so much for reading this one and for leaving me this wonderful review!! Glad I could make you happy :D
Tallesttower x

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Review #11, by xxpetrapan Invisible

6th September 2010:
OMG! I loved it
It was so fierce and I felt for her

Author's Response: Thank you very much for leaving a review!! I'm so happy to know you enjoyed it. Dom is pretty awesome, so I'm glad you sympathized. xx

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Review #12, by Ronsgirl29 Invisible

16th August 2010:

Like whoa. You had such wonderful description of her feelings that I could practically feel Dominique's pain. Unrequited love is one of the worst things in the world, and I think you were able to capture the feeling of it perfectly.

I think the saddest part about this wasn't that Scorpius didn't love her back, it was that she felt invisible. The idea that your misery goes unoticed by those you love can destroy a person, an idea that you also captured wonderfully.


Author's Response: Wow. This review blew me away. Words cannot express how much this means to me - I want to thank you a million times over and over again right now, but I'll try and hold it back!

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it. Yes, unrequited love is awful, but I'm glad you picked up on the fact that she's invisible being the worst part. I think that is truley horrible- she is in so much pain and it's almost pointless because nobody knows, but more importantly the person she is in pain over doesn't even know her. It's not like he's snubbed her, he simply doesn't know anything about her. The fact that you thought I captured those feelings perfectly really means a lot to me. Is it wrong that this was fun to write? It's miserable, but I enjoyed digging into her feelings.

I'm so grateful for you leaving this wonderful review. And wow - 10/10? That means so much and I feel very encouraged and inspired to write more now. Thank you so much for taking the time to review, it's very important to me and I really hope you enjoyed reading this!

I might have to knight you for leaving this review (regardless that your a girl and I don't have the power to knight people) ;)

Thank you!!
~ Helena

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Review #13, by SexyDoorFrames Invisible

15th August 2010:
So carrot, you left me. Only for a week, but still, whatever floats your canal boat ;) Sorry, i think I'm funny.

This was beautiful. Fantastic. I can't describe how much I loved this. With every line, you could hear Dom's pain. You could fully understand. You just summed up the whole situation perfectly. Well, beyond perfectly really. You built the scene up fantastically that with every word, I imagine what was happening. And my imagination is lazy, so wooo :) Some of the lines are haunting me, such as 'Why can't you see me'. There are loads more, but that one just really stuck out.

The last line spoke volumes to me, it was harrowing and beautiful, both at the same time. In really brought the story back home.

Excellent one shot :) I loved it.

I can see why you love this ship! It's amazing :)

*dances the carrot fangirl jig*

yeah, i created a dance for you.

huggles and stuff,

Author's Response: KEELSTERS! This is the best thing to come back from my holiday to!! I am so happy right now :D :D

Whatever floats your canal boat... oh I think your funny too, but then again, I think pretty much everything is funny so I don't know how much of a compliment that is ;) Still, cracked me up!

Ah, words cannot express how amazing this review is and how happy it makes me feel. Everything you've said is so lovely and I'm really happy you enjoyed it Keely! :D Gah... everything you said is so kind, thank you times a million! This truley made my day. *Squishes*

I'm so pleased you liked it :)

And yes, I do have an undying love for this ship! Maybe one day I'll write a happy one-shot where they actually get to be together! ;)

I love this review a lot, but the best best best thing about it? THE CARROT FANGIRL JIG!

I've never had a jig before, or a fangirl, and especially not a fangirl jig! I'm blown away by how awesome that is. Look out your window, see that dot in the sky? Yeah, that's me being blown away. :D Words cannot express how awesome that is. All I can do now is bow down to your jigging skills, oh mighty jigmeister.

thankmo keely, you are just about alright you know that? ;)

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Review #14, by melian Invisible

6th August 2010:
Another lovely story. I thought you approached this really well and we certainly felt Dominique's pain through your words so you must have done a good job. It had just the right blend of description and angst, if that makes any sense, and I could really see what was happening.

My only comment would be that when you started talking about all being well in the Weasley family you dropped back to past tense, and it didn't sit well in the narrative. I think that if you made it all present tense it would feel smoother and also be more consistent.

Good job!

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your helpful feedback! I'm really glad you enjoyed this. When writing it that particular paragraph really got on my nerves and I didn't know what to do about it, I switched it around so many times. I think I finally sought guidance from someone else and went with what they advised, but thank you for adding your opinion. No doubt I'll go back and edit all of my fan fictions to death one day and I'll definately take that into consideration when I do! I wouldn't want to break the flow.

Your reviews have been so helpful and sweet! I'm sure your being much kinder than I deserve, but I'm not complaining ;) Thank you so much Mel, I owe you a million!

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Review #15, by HarrietHopkirk Invisible

13th July 2010:
Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my. This is know...utterly incredible, completely heart wrenching and wholly delicious. This is a beautiful one-shot. And it is Dom/Scorp! ;) This had certainly inspired me to make more of them later in Dominique, perhaps not in the first story, but definitely in the sequels that follow.

I really love how you write. Using the rain, the wind and the sea as comparatives and to describe Dom's emotions and actions, as well as Rose and Scorpius' embrace are poetic and stunningly portrayed. 'The icy droplets leave dark grey imprints on the sand. They kiss her exposed skin pitifully' was particularly bewitching.

It is a short one-shot, but I think you have summed up Dom's feelings and the whole situation perfectly. There is no embellishments or loquaciousness. It is simple. There is little dialogue, and the spoken lines you do use fit in effortlessly with the flow of the story, which I think is the most important element in a good piece of writing.

A truly beautiful one-shot. And your romance! And your first NextGen! Congrats!

Author's Response: *Takes a moment to let head inflate* - Joking! But honestly, you're far too lovely. Thank you so much!

Yes! Dom/Scorp all the way. It's my favourite next gen ship! (Closely followed by Dom/Lysander... which you introduced me too!) Please do spread the Dom/Scorp love, I'm very much obsessed with this ship but I don't see all that much of it around. My favourite ship combined with your writing is pretty much heaven for me haha! I look forward to it :)

Thank you very much for your kind words. I know this one-shot is bordering on overbearingly poeticy styley, and I was worried about posting it - so I'm really glad you like it.

Ack, I'm grinning like mad right now. My day has been made haha. Thank you for taking the time to review this, I really appreciate it. I'm feeling inspired to write more now. Once more, thank you so so much! It means a lot.

- H

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Review #16, by DracoFerret11 Invisible

4th July 2010:
So... hey! This is actually DarkRose from the forums with a review you requested in... April. XD I'm so sorry this took that long for me to get to. That's ridiculous.

But despite that... review time!

Great job! :D I really liked this, actually. I've never imagined a Dom/Scorpius pairing, but this changed my view. You approached it so well! I really liked the descriptions you had throughout the one-shot. They definitely set the scene wonderfully.

The one thing you might change is that a lot of your sentences have the same structure (subject, verb, etc. with some adjectives thrown in) which can get a bit repetitive. But if you change some sentences up a bit with prepositions or something, that might help. :]

Great characterization. You approached Dominque really, really well and formed her character spectacularly. Overall, you did a very good job! :D

Again, I'm so sorry for the inexcusable delay.


Author's Response: Hello there!! Don't worry about the wait, I always take ages to respond to review requests so I can hardly blame you! :P

I'm glad you liked the description. This was a strange writing style, and I thought perhaps the description was a bit over the top - so your advice on changing sentance structure is really useful and I will definately think about that next time I am writing.

Dom/Scorpius is my favourite next gen ship so I'm glad you liked it ;)

Thank you so much for this review - I don't mind the wait, better late than never! Thank you - this is much appreciated!

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Review #17, by marauderqueen Invisible

19th June 2010:
Aw this was really good. I liked Dom's character and the detail was good.
I'd always liked the idea of a Dom/Scorp story but this is nice because it's sad but lovely at the same time.
Well Done

Author's Response: Hey Izzy, I'm glad you liked it! It was sad, but it was fun to write, I'm happy it was still enjoyable. I really love Dom/Scorpius, they're one of my favourite ships. I'm thinking of writing a Dom/Scorp fanfic, I just haven't got an idea for it yet! ;)

Thank you for taking the time to leave a review, I really appreciate it! :)


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Review #18, by ericajen Invisible

12th June 2010:
Well. I creeped onto your page on the forums and then creeped onto your stories and now I am leaving a review for this beautiful one-shot you have written. Honestly I can't believe this is the first time I've read something of yours!

Anyway, I absolutely adored this. I LOVE unrequited love. How terrible of me, but still, unrequited love makes for the best angsty stories ever. And this is no exception.

The beginning, all of it really, was so incredibly descriptive and beautiful. You really have a gift for painting a picture in the mind of the reader. It was detailed but not to the point where I felt bogged down by all the minor details.

And oh, Dominique. I thought this was going to be a Dominique in love with Teddy story, which I can appreciate, but I was very pleased to see that this was not one of those. Scorpius. Nice change from the norm.

Basically, you have succeeded in making my heart break for Dominique. I've always loved her character and you wrote her very well here. One of my favorite depictions of her. I get sick of her being a rebellious, hardcore, cocky girl. I like her this way. Actually, it's funny because just the other day I wrote a little drabble with Dominique where she's kind of like this.



Okay, before I start responding, let me take a moment to let my ego inflate... Haha! Erica, you have no idea how much this made me day! All I can think of to say is a bunch of grinning smilies (:D :D :D) but I suppose I should try something more coherent :P

Thank you so much dear! I'm so glad you liked it and I'm thrilled you visited my stories AND left me a review.

I'm glad you liked the description, as I was worried it might be a bit heavy, but that's the style I wanted for this story. I love Dominique too! She is one of my favourite characters, so I'm glad you liked my characterization of her =) I didn't want her to be too whiny.

Yes, unrequited love is horrible to feel but awesome to write and I'm happy you think to read too! ^_^

Thank you so so so much for leaving me this review. You are Mrs. Awesome of awesome land! :D


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Review #19, by moonbaby11 Invisible

20th April 2010:
Good job for your first attempt at three things in one fic, and thanks for entering my challenge!

First off, beautiful. I absolutly loved it. You had so much description, with only two lines spoken, not even to anyone, just to herself.

Secondly, I loved the idea of it. It was short and sweet (and angsty XD) and just nice to read.

The banner is so pretty! ;) Dominique's emotion on the banner definetly fits her emotion in here. The title's great, too!

Hope I made your day with my review! :D

Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you very much for taking the time to review. I know it's your challenge... but I still appreciate it :D

The banner was definately my inspiration here. I lucked out on finding such a great banner - it got me writing. Great idea for a challenge too, I think I might go to the UFG section for inspirations again!


Thank you for your kind words. I was worried it might be too description heavy, so your feedback really helped. I'm grinning like a maniac right now - you did indeed make my day! It's always lovely to recieve positive reviews. I have to admitt I was nervous about posting this, and to hear (read) such nice feedback makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside haha! Right, I'm babbling...!

Thank you once again, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Great challenge idea - this wouldn't be here without you!


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Review #20, by dracos_hotter Invisible

19th April 2010:
It was very pretty =) I hope you go on to write more of the sort...


Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you very much for your kind words. :) I really appreciate that you took the time to review - you are officially awesome. In my opinion anyway! I'm glad you liked it as I was worried it was a bit description heavy... I didn't want to get into melodramatic teenager mode.

I'm Broomsticks from the forums by the way, and I am just going to review flying on butterfly wings now!

Thanks again for this wonderful review :)

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Review #21, by Charlies_Gal Invisible

18th April 2010:
Hey. I dont usually read next gen but i noticed that ur fic is entered in the same as mine so i thought i would check it out. I can honestly say that urs is way better than anything that ihave ever written. I really liked this fic. Kate xoxo

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for taking the time to leave such a kind review. I love next gen because the writer has room to write anything, resulting in great original fics. Unfortunately this one-shot doesn't come under that catagory - but I had a lot of fun writing it! I'm so glad you enjoyed it too :)

Ha, you're making me blush with the compliment but I BET yours is better, you're just being modest! Thank you for checking my fic out!

Thank you once again for leaving a lovely, positive review. Haha, they make my day!

- TallestTower x

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Review #22, by marciabarcia Invisible

15th April 2010:
That was so sad! Yet very well written! Good Job!


Author's Response: I'm really glad you think so. I was worried people wouldn't like this so to hear such positive feeback is amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to review, it means a lot to me. *Gives cookie of thanks*

Thanks again,
TallestTower :)

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Review #23, by Ninelli Invisible

15th April 2010:
I really, really liked it and think you did a great job!!
(I'd give a more constructive review... but my English sucks completely... I'm sorry :/ )

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Don't worry, I loved this review. It really made me feel good as I was feeling a bit self-consious about this one-shot. I really appreciate the fact you took the time to review - it makes a big difference. You reviewers inspire me to keep writing. It was very kind of you. Reviews make my day :D
Thank you once again,
- TallestTower

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Review #24, by LindaSnape Invisible

15th April 2010:
Like I said on msn, for what it's worth, I really liked this.

It was poetic and gripping, and the pain was realistic. It wasn't all moany and teenagery like you warned me that it was. I mean, yes, she was very angsty, but I think that's realistic in unrequited love.

No one wants to be invisible, and everyone wants their chance at romance.

Yet, I like that she's conflicted. She's not a vicious part Veela monster bent on ruining their romance. She's human. She cares for them, and doesn't want to ruin their romance for she knows that she had no justification for it.

However, she can't stop loving Scorpius.

I loved the eloquent vocabulary and the scope and depth of Dominique's emotions. She wasn't just a whiny teenager that didn't care about anyone else.

She was very realistic. Not to mention selfless. It was very sweet.

So, yes, as you can probably tell from my gushing - I loved your description of Dominique and your characterization. It was wonderful, and she's easy to relate to.

I loved how while Rose/Scorpius were included, we don't know anything about them except they're serious about one another.

This was very beautiful and I enjoy this! :)


Author's Response: Linders this made my day! Honestly, coming from you it means a lot, as I have read some of your writing and your very talented.

Everything you said here made me jump for joy because I was feeling somewhat self-concious about this one-shot. I was scared it was too whiny, or too overly descriptive. That you didn't think so meant a lot.

As for the selfless thing - her personality would have changed entirely without your help. By suggesting I cut that one paragraph, you improved the entire story. I'm glad you sympathize with Dom, I didn't want her to come across selfish.

This review made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave one, I am in your debt!

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