*makes mental note to check out just malfoy* Ok, even though I am generally appalled at anything other than scorose, i knew I'd like this purely because this was a companion to a novel - i love that kind of stuff, missing moments, other points of view etc! anyway i really liked this, especially the diary. Even the little things like Gabrielles children (presumably thats who the beauxbatons people were) gave little insights into the bigger picture! Also really liked "micro-wag" and the image of lily smiling that helped him make the patronus! well done :DAuthor's Response: Aww, I'm glad you liked it (and surprised at your choice - this is definitely one of my least popular pieces, because of being a companion piece!)
I personally can't get behind Scorose, both because I prefer a slight age difference in my romance, but moreover because I see Hermione and Draco as having had a brief affair post Hogwarts (a story I will write eventually!) and so anything where their children are together seems wrong!
So yeah, glad you liked it, odd micro wags and all, and hope you get a chance to check out the novel at some point! Report Review
Aww! I have so much love for Scorp ;) I'm actually a Scorp/Dom shipper, but that being said this one-shot is making me want to read your story!
Again this piece was very realistic. I really like your characterization of Scorpius, he's very loveable.
The diary entries were a really interesting technique. I loved the glance back at Lucius in Azkaban, ahh he may be a criminal but that was very emotive. I also liked the way Scorpius kind of threw it off, as he didn't really want to get emotionally involved with it- it may not be loving, but it seemed realistic.
One small suggestion, if you ever edit this, I think Bunny's speech could be improved by getting rid of the 'me'. In the books they tend to refer to themselves by their names. I forgot the litary term for it because I'm not a smartypants, but it would seem more house elfish if she said:
"Mistress sent Bunny to check, sir"
If you see what I mean :)
Anyhoo, another brilliant piece and I'm intrigued to go and read Just Malfoy now... & Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Such a good point - I've always found House Elves beyond hard to write, and this pointer is dead on. Will definitely include this in my next edit!
As for my portrayal of Scorpius - I hate to make him seem cold in any way, but a seventeen year old boy wouldn't be all that emotionally stuck on a person who he has no real relationship with, and who doesn't ask for his support. Like you said, not loving, but more realistic.
Thanks for the lovely Christmas reviews; they have cheered me up no end! Have a good one! Report Review
I have not read 'Just Malfoy' but I must admit that I am very intrigued. Bug me to read it because I just might have to.
I loved this. I get a real sense of Scorpius's character in this which is a really good thing because this is a 'missing scene' from one of your other stories. Ordinarily, that would mean that the scope for characterisation would be very limited. Also, writers may overlook the characterisation. You didn't. And that is a credit to you.
I like the relationship that Scorpius had with his parents. Not the best, but I think that is realistic. It is what I would imagine in the future and it was very believable.
I have not really read any Scorpius/Lily stories before but I just might have to get around to reading 'Just Malfoy' because it does sound interesting!
This was a lovely little one-shot.
Joop :]Author's Response: Heya,
Glad you liked it! The major point of this story was indeed to develop Scorpius' characterisation - Just Malfoy is all from Lily's POV, and as such, some of his decisions didn't always make sense to people who aren't me. This was my attempt at righting that wrong.
I'm glad you liked the relationship with his parents - there is actually a long and in-depth back story as to why my Draco is such a horrific excuse for a human being, but as I haven't written it yet, some people find this version a bit too dark. It's nice to see that it doesn't seem that way to everyone.
Thanks for reviewing, and I will definitely be bugging you to read Just Malfoy, cause your input is really useful to read! Report Review
Hey! Fancy running into you here.
Well, another great story! It really had me feeling sad for Scorpius. The details and the flow to this story were perfect!
In my opinion, Draco seemed a bit out of character. You have to remember, the only reason he became a Death Eater was to save his family, so I would just imagine him treating his family with more care, you know?
Just wondering (because this one-shot got me so into the story!) what happened with Scorpius and Albus? It looks like they were once friends, but apperently turned enemys?
I'm so happy Scorpius was able to cast the patronus! I hope everything works out for that bloke. :P
Keep writing! You're doing amazing! :DAuthor's Response: Aaah, see, the whole Draco becoming a dark and awful person only makes sense if you have my own personal novel-length back story to hand, which unfortunately I haven't got round to writing yet. My bad. Otherwise though, I would completely agree with you.
As for Scorpius and Albus, they basically stopped talking so much because they were in different houses, plus they were conditioned against each other. Then Scorpius got into the duel with Roger Abbott out of jealousy, and confirmed everything Albus had been told about him. I'm aware that this isn't made too clear in the one shot, but again, it was a piece of back story/missing scene one shot that I just never got round to writing. Bad Ella!
I'm glad though that other than the massive holes I am yet to fill in, this story ticked all the boxes. Thanks for all the encouragement - from an author as good as you it means a lot! Report Review
Hey Cappie! (:
This story caught my eye on your Author Page and I must say, it's very good. I liked the journey you took us on through the events of the weekend. It was very interesting. And you didn't necessarily come right out and tell us everything that was going on, you left a few things for us to figure out for ourselves, which was a really nice touch.
Scorpius/Lily is such an aodrable little ship and I have to say I was kind of glad it was Lily and not Rose. I think it was more interesting that way and it gave it a bit of a more original touch, which was lovely.
The entire thing was pretty well written and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes. I think you did a wonderful job.
EricaAuthor's Response: Aww, thanks EJ! I'm really glad you liked this, as very few people read it unless they've already read Just Malfoy. Hey, WHEN I catch you, maybe you'll be willing to have a look at some of that! ;-)
Seriously though, I'm glad you liked it, and I'm really chufed that you think I managed the whole leave things for the reader to figure out, as I've just been coveting that skill in various other authors (such as, um... you!)
Thanks agan for reviewing! Report Review
Oh, this was great! I didn't know you put this out until now when I stumbled upon it accidentally! The line at the end was very thoughtful, yet eerie at the same time: "I forgot this might not be the low point of everyone’s year." That's deep. I love your characterization of Lucius as someone who has his pride, yet has fallen off his high horse, as Scorpius noticed when he turned back. Very nice work with this; I enjoyed it very much.
-P.G.Author's Response: YAY! Given that I wrote this almost entirely on the basis of one of your reviews, I am very glad to hear you liked it!
I really felt that there were various parts of Scorpius' side of the story that I hadn't covered well enough, and that to understand his relationship with Lily, I needed to explain who he was and how he'd been raised. I also wanted to give some attention to what happened to Lucius, as again it mattered in the story proper.
Thanks so much for letting me know what you thought - really nice to hear from you. Oh, and the sequel to Just Malfoy has now been started - first chapter should be up by next weekend, I hope. Report Review
"It's kinda easy when you've got nothing because nothing can be taken away from you, but I don't want nothing anymore."
You said it was in there,('honest!') but I can't find it =( Where exactly is it? I know it does kinda fit with the story -- while I'm here, I LOVE JUST MALFOY! -- but I can't find it in there!
Loving the journals. And his obvious like of Lily; gasp! Love it is!
Scorpius has character. Yay! And a good one too. I like his pride at creating his Patronus. And his mother's smile, too. It shows that she is actually human.
That last sentence was pretty good. Nice conclusion indeed.
""I'll talk to her tomorrow." I concluded" Okay, so I'm supposed to be reviewing the storyline and creative stuff, but I just had to. A comma instead of a full stop there, sweetie!
xEAuthor's Response: Wow, that makes two reviews in a row pointing out the exact same error! I really must proof read my stories better (I tend to work out the out-of-dialogue sections of sentences later, so they don't always get changed!)
Anyways - it's in there as a thought from Scorpius when discussing his changing priorities:
"It's kinda easy when you've got nothing, because nothing can be taken away from you, but I don't want nothing anymore. Since that fateful day last month, when the girl of my dreams literally fell into my lap, everything had changed, and 'nothing' just didn't cut it for me; no matter the cost, I was finally ready to fight for her."
Glad you liked the last line - it was supposed to give a bit of insight into his excessive confidence levels in regards to their relationship - explaining how he could then mess up so badly.
Also, part of the purpose of this one shot was for everyone to see Scorpius without Lily's rose-tinted glasses, so thanks for letting me know that his character has come through.
In summary, thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, and thanks for coming up with this challenge! Report Review
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