Reading Reviews for The Kill
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Blobby Breaking

15th May 2011:
Hey xxx
Please write more, I love the story. Not many like this on this site.
Its great :D Please do more xx

Author's Response: Thank you, I'll certainly write more :)

-Reyes91


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Review #2, by krissyanne426 Planning

1st February 2011:
Hello again!

For me, this was my favorite chapter so far. It was less of the feelings and more of the action, which in your writing I really like.

I'm a little concerned that he can just apparate onto the island. If someone can just Apparate in and out it seems like there would be major security issues long before Stephen ever thoughtof this.

I still adore Stephen. And his mum. They're great. And the way he cares about her is really cute.

Fantastic job! Sorry that this isn't the best review I've ever given. I don't know what's wrong with me because I really did like this chapter and you're doing a great job and I like your story. Please don't take it personally, I think schools just finally getting to me.

Great job.

Feel free to request again.
Kristen=]

Author's Response: Why, hello again,

This is your favorite chapter? Cool. After I got over the first few chapters and more into what Stephen was going to do, I found myself growing more and more interested in writing it all out. I'm just getting eager for blood and what-not.

Also, I understand your concern about the Apparation bit. Yeah, it's most likely a bit of a small plot hole that I couldn't find any other way to fix. The longer I write on, I'll try to figure out another way for him to access the site. As of now..., well, the slight security issue will have to unfortunately stick.

And yes, Stephen definitely cares about his mother more than anything and anyone. It's almost completely similar to my own relationship with my mother (which I wasn't even paying much attention to while I was writing).

I greatly appreciate your reviews, dude. Don't apologize. They're great and helpful. Like I said, feedback is feedback. Long or short, harsh or nice, it's all good. I feel you on the school things; university is totally destroying me right now. Lol.

Thanks for the lovely reviews, my dear.

-Reyes91


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Review #3, by krissyanne426 Going Back

31st January 2011:
Hello there!

Another great chapter. I really like that they're going back to school.

I like Stephen. I mean, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to like him, but I do. I can't wait to see what happens with him because I really do like him!

I think your plot is progressing quite well. There were a couple of things that really made me smile, especially Bill's line! I thought that was really funny.

I know this isn't a super detailed review, but I promise a better one for the next chapter!

Good job!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: Hello to you as well!

Well, liking a character who is going to be a serial killer doesn't exactly seem right, but I'm glad you do. I love him, and I have to figure out ways to drive him crazy. He's probably the one character I've had the most fun writing so far.

And I'm happy Bill's little line made you smile. I figured it's safe to add in some little funny moments, even in a dark story. It evens everything out, I believe.

And don't worry about not being too detailed; I fully appreciate the review no matter the length of it. Any feedback is good feedback for me as it helps me see whatever I'm doing wrong or right.

-Reyes91


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Review #4, by krissyanne426 An Unexpected Visitor

21st November 2010:
Another good chapter!

You said you were concerned with the characterization of Stephen, but I think you're really doing a great job. I'm unsure how I feel about him, personally. But he's totally realistic and I think you're handling the "insane" part of his personality really well.

Again, I'm not entirely sure where this is going. I know the summary says a serial killer in both worlds, so I assume that Stephen will be the killer. I can definitely see that happening and working really well.

I like his interactions with Hermione, though. He's so anit-Muggleborns so to see him possible falling for her is really interesting to me. It's a bit like the Dramione ship, but totally more original. You said you were unsure of who you were going to ship, but I could totally see this going as a Stephen/Hermione.

You're doing a really great job, and I can't wait to see what you do with it! Feel free to request the next two chapters!

Good job!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: Hello again,

Thank you again. I was really concerned with Stephen because trying to write an insane character is harder than I thought.

Yeah, Stephen is going to be the killer. I'm thinking I want to get rid of about...eight or ten people by the time the story is over. It's so going to be a bloodbath.

The way he grew up hearing about Muggleborns from his father is what made me re-think having him with Hermione. So, you definitely see them two together, huh? Well, I don't know. I didn't want to fully focus on romance, but I think I may just have to have him use her in some kind of way later on in the story.

Thank you again for your reviews. I'm glad you're liking this.

-Reyes91


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Review #5, by krissyanne426 Accused

20th November 2010:
Hello there!

Okay, first off, I really liked this. It's very dark and I adore dark stories. I hate to admit this, but this isn't a character I recognize, so it was a bit strange for me.

You've done a really good job with the character, though. He's very intense and manipulative. He did kill Collin, yes? I mean, I don't like him particularly, but he is quite original. And I don't think I'm supposed to like him.

I think he is realistic. There are definitely people out there who are like him, and his manipulativeness is quite convincing.

I'm not quite sure about your plot so far, because I don't really know where your story is going. This chapter is opens your story up to go so many places, so I can't say for sure how I feel about it. But I did like this chapter.

You're a fantastic writer, and I'm really interested to see where this goes!

Onto the next chapter.
Cheers!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: Hey, dude,

Thank you, I'm a fanatic of darker stories as well. And you probably don't recognize him because J.K. only listed his name on something; it wasn't in the books.

Yeah, he killed the boy. And no, you shouldn't exactly like him. He's a manipulative murderer; not someone anyone should like. I'm glad you don't like him :)

Thank you for the sweet review, my friend. I'm struggling trying to keep this guy realistic, so I'm glad you think he is so far. And not to worry, the plot will open up later in the story. Just wanted to drop in some background information first.

-Reyes91


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Review #6, by Reuben An Unexpected Visitor

26th August 2010:
Heh, I love it when the main character is in that gray area between being good or evil :D Stephen is apparently pretty complex, I can't wait to find out more about him. The first thing that caught my eye about this story was the amazing banner, which is really intriguing.

Let's see... criticisms... I'm having trouble coming up with any right now, lol. There were one or two minor conventions errors... I believe at one point there was a period rather than a question mark... as you can see, I'm really reaching here :P

Suggestions: Dunno, might be interesting to get some other perspectives down the line, but then again it's kind of neat to just see the world as the main character sees it.

Author's Response: Yeah, the gray area is much more fun to play around with. Lol. And I'm glad the banner managed to grab your attention, that's the purpose of it :)

Ahh, I probably did mess up somewhere with puncuation. I miss little things like that sometimes.

I'm glad you brought up the different perspectives since that was something I had been thinking about doing sometime later on. I'm not sure exactly how I'd do it and make the transition smooth, but I think I may go for it.

Thanks for reviewing, dude!

-Reyes91


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Review #7, by The Forgotten Muse Accused

4th May 2010:
"Or maybe it was because Kingsley had kissed him and Harry Potter's asses by placing them immediately in the Auror department." You might want to change that him to a his. "Someone like me? The man insulted me right in my face." Fabulous line. "'Of course that scum would. Well, you did good.'" You might want to change that to "You did well". It's just a minor grammar error and doesn't really matter that much but I'm pretty anal about things like that.

Alright, so this seems like a very interesting continuation of the one-shot I challenged you to write. I'm very interested to see where it goes and I'll be keeping an eye on it. I like how we're getting to see more of Stephen's home life and what may have contributed to the cause of his actions...obviously his father for one.

Some things I would take into consideration if I were you: the court hearing and the makeup to cover up the Dark Mark. The hearing wasn't bad, I just think they would go over his case more thoroughly. Remind everyone what exactly he was being accused of doing, getting his take on what happened, etc. This, though not necessary, would help give the story a little boost in the reality department. Also, relating back to making it more believable, I think that Wizengamot might try to view his arm with magic in case they thought him of really hiding it like he was. They would probably cast some sort of revealing spell to make sure it wasn't being hidden in some way. Now, I understand this also puts forward a challenge of how he WOULD hide it, but this is a story about wizards so anything is possible really and you can come up with something.

A great way to spend your first review!

~TFM

Author's Response: Right, 'his' does read better. Thanks for pointing that out. And I had hoped someone would like that line. :) And don't worry, I like anal people. They're fun.

Yeah, his father is the biggest contributing factor to the what he had done. More of what made him do it should come out once I get around to writing the second chapter.

Hmm, a revealing spell. Didn't think of that. Now you're going to make me go back and make it more difficult for Stephen to hide it. Lol. But yes, anything is possible when it comes to magic. I'll figure out some kind of spell Stephen could use to hide it for a bit.

Thanks for this first review. It was perfect and helpful. I can't wait for the next few.

-Reyes91


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Review #8, by absibi Accused

15th April 2010:
hmmm intresting i like how this storys going i would be intrested in reading more :)

Author's Response: Thank you, glad you find it interesting.

-Reyes91


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