This is a great story. I can't believe it's abandoned. It's not too late! You can always keep going. Hint hint. Hahaha. I absolutely loved this.Author's Response: i will do at some point but just not now sorry =[ Report Review
Please write some more please, this is getting quite interesting!Author's Response: lol ok.. ill try Report Review
Amazing truly amazing I can't wait until the next chapter!Author's Response: aw thanks =]
Bro. Hurry up and write another chapter!
'I guess you get use to being loved'
Hehehhe love you Dee. xDAuthor's Response: lol.. im so confused... Report Review
aw. short and sweet chp. waiting for more..
ADAuthor's Response: lol coming soon Report Review
Very good story so far. I love Emmie and Dray's relationship and found their hidden box so wonderful. Can't wait for more.Author's Response: lol well they get together shortly. hang in there
wow, that was a great chapter :) the part where Harry gets extremely upset with Ron took me by complete surprise! I haven't really read a story where that specific scenario played out like that...well done! I can't wait to see what happens in this story!!!Author's Response: lol YUS! i love reviews. thanks so much Report Review
Okay, so I love how Harry reacts towards Ron. The story idea in General is very creative, but it needs something more. Like maybe a better clarification on who's viewpoint your portraying. I don't know, but it seems as if the story's a bit choppy, your kind of jumping events a little to quickly. Maybe if you slow it down a bit, and smooth out the transactions it will read better! Draco, though quite understandably, seems to have changed. His character is not even close to the character in the books. Maybe if we see a bit more from him, it'll spice things up.
Also you've put a lot of muggle devices in your story. If the Malfoy's are Purebloods who still loath muggles, and muggle-borns, then why would they have a car and a television? You said Narcissa went through a stage, a muggle stage, maybe it'll make more sense if that is explained. Perhaps more details on the matter.
Hermione's mum, excuse me Emelia's mum needs more to her character, I think. She just got her Daughter back, you need a chapter where they bond together, and you really can see that they are in fact mother and daughter. Also there needs to be more explanation of why Teressa's husband would have kidnapped their child, what history lies between them. Also why a pureblood would leave rankings for a muggle, who says that Hermione's dad would probably kill her for telling her this but that she had a right to know. There needs to be more insight on this, and maybe an explanation of why her name isn't really Hermione, and Emelia instead. You could include some various encounters with the father, and maybe Teressa will have revenge.
Apart from all that Hermione and Draco's bounding has been well portrayed, maybe your ready to move it up, maybe they start to feel like more than friends; you did mention that they were soul mates from before they were born. I am excited to see what happens next, I can't wait to find out more about Ginny.
I'm hoping some action comes to the scene soon, or maybe even a little romance. I disagree with caicu who pleaded for them not to take the mark. If Emelia takes the mark, that makes everything real, it'll turn the story darker, giving you the advantage of a whole new set of emotions, that can be played with, manipulated, and reset. Giving us as readers a different perspective, because you've made the Order's plan a reality. You'll fool those who are not aware of the plan, and make it uneasy for those who are.
Imagine Ginny, only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley taking the dark mark. Once Harry learns of this he'll be destroyed, when the war does approach however he'd be prepared. It would all come down to the last Memory.
You've got a good outline here, I'm not trying to criticize it, I'm just giving you my advice. You may choose to take it or you may not, whatever the case things need to be explained. The more thought, input, and energy you give it, the better the story. There are so many ways you can make this better, read it over again, and really think about what I said. You might just find you agree. Memories are made of this is a good story, now make it spectacular, I know you can!Author's Response: wow. i have to say ive never had a review this long and it has certainly clarified things i thought needed to be done. im currently reediting a chapter based solely on teressa and emelia. I apprieciate you taking the time to make a review as great as that to write down all your areas of concern. i believe that ive slowed things down after the this chapeter so we shall see what happens. i will try my best to work out all the rough edges in coming chapters.
im quite interested in Caicu's and you yourselfs different views on the dark mark. but i enjoyed your comment none the less and i i try my best to work them in. Report Review
I have 1 only plea. Do not make them take the Mark please.Author's Response: hmmm looks like you got competion from Slytherin Pride on that one Report Review
this is so good! an amazing spin on things! i love love love love it! please update!!Author's Response: lol thank you. chappy 7 is coming up straight away Report Review
wow. i am loving this story. please dont stop writing. waiting desperately for more..!
ADAuthor's Response: lol aw yay thanks darl! Report Review
great going. I like it. would like a bit more insight into draco/hermione's childhood friendship though! and romance between them too!!
otherwise storyline is awesome1
ADAuthor's Response: Yes lol im working on that! im going to have a chapter soon that has only them as children. also romance will happen soon its just that i dont want everytving to happen at once. Report Review
WOW! Drama, friendship, a solid one and lot of surprises had come from this fic. Well done. This is the 1rst that I read from you, but I will persue the others as well. So keep them coming and update them all. ThxAuthor's Response: lol oh! im so happy you like it!! lol nice to see new reviewers too! thanks! Report Review
Wow! My jaw dropped! I love this chapter! i am glad she chose what she did! :) Please post more soon! :) Ginny is an awesome best friend!Author's Response: AW you just made my day!!! =] Report Review
AH This is so good!!! I caan't wait for the next post!Author's Response: lol may be a little while. have a few challenges first. Report Review
I love this story :) I want more :) It is very interesting plot and everything for me is perfect :)Author's Response: AW! im glad you like it! keep reviewing!! Report Review
wow, this was a very intense chapter... I really liked it but I felt bad for the people involved having to make such grown-up decisions. I hope that Harry and Ron will be able to forgive her one day but I definitely see them falling for it a little too easily since they are already on rocky ground with her. I really like this chapter and can't wait until the next! It's coming along very nicely!!Author's Response: aw shocks! lol now im going all red from everyones comments! thank you!! Report Review
I really like how you incorporated another side of the story through Ginny's P.O.V.! That was brilliant so that we got to see how they are taking things! I also like how Mr. Weasley allowed Ginny in on the secret and how he defended Hermione because he was totally right...haha and of course the slight comic relief in the end as Mrs. Weasley takes a break from her ranting and raving at the boys to wish Ginny a good time at Hermione's lol Loved it! Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: aw shocks! thanks hun! keep reviewing!! Report Review
I love the chapter! I am glad Ginny didnt turn her back on her! :) Please post more soon!Author's Response: lol aw thanks darl! Report Review
Go Arthur! Serves Ron right the big dummy head! I love this story :) its so creativeAuthor's Response: lol o thank you so much! Report Review
i love this story please update soonAuthor's Response: aw thanks!! Report Review
Wow! Ron can ve such a jerk! I hope Harry and Ginny end up alright with it! Aww! Draco is so cute! Pansy hugged her! WOW! :) Please post more soon! Great chapter!Author's Response: AWWW. he really is. but it all takes a strange twist at the end. Report Review
ah! i love this story! update soonAuthor's Response: already in vali! thanks for thhe review Report Review
Haha. I love it. But is the mall circular, because the only diameter I've heard of is the one in a circleAuthor's Response: yes. the mall is circular. lol thats how its meant to be! lol Report Review
Please update. Love the story so far. The rings are the cutest idea ever. I really dont think that I have read a story this good.Author's Response: lol WOW. wat a huge compliment! hehe the rings are cute! Report Review
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