Aaw. I love this. :)Author's Response: Thanks. :) Report Review
Oh my goodness, this was awesome! I don't even know where to begin.
I guess I should start with the interpretation of the quote you were given. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. It was such a well planned out one-shot. There was a rough event for Rose, it took her a long time to get over it, and when she finally took the chance, she overcame her fears and really felt beautiful once again. Wow. The rest of my critique will probably be all fluff because I honestly just loved it and can't even think of anything productive to say right now.
I think it was good you picked an event like a breakup to portray. A lot of readers can relate to it (and maybe even being cheated on) and that makes the story a lot more relate-able and easier to get into. It was such a shame Rose was cheated on. I loved her in this one-shot. You created her just as I always imagined. She was your typical teenage girl who was dealing with heartbreak but I feel there was a lot more to her the reader didn't see.
I also loved Cecilia. She seems like an amazing best friend - something a lot like my own best friend. The way she pushed her to get up and go out, stood by her, and protected her...well done with that. I think she was the ideal best friend.
My favorite part of this, though, was when Scorpius stood up for Rose. Oh...my...gosh. I loved it. And I love the idea of Rose/Scorpius together. How lovely. Ah. He was such a good guy in this one-shot and I love him portrayed like that.
Overall, I really enjoyed this story. And I really, really enjoyed the interpretation of the quote. Thank you so much for participating and keep up the great work!Author's Response: I really don't know what to say. Thank you very much for your review! :) And thank you for this challenge. I had a great time writing this one-shot.
Well, I created Cecilia after my own best friend, so I guess all best friends have something in common. ;)
its really sweet :)loved hermione's letter at the lastAuthor's Response: Thank you. :) Report Review
I really like it!!!
Although there was a sentence that was a little confusing, you wrote -
'Cecilia, however, wasn’t intentioned to pay her attention at all, for once.'
It doesnt really make sense! Maybe, 'didn't intend to' instead of 'wasn't intentioned to'??? I'm not too sure what you were trying to say, but I think that this makes more sense!
I really loved the way you didn't say what had happened right at the beginning of the chapter, instead yo kept us wondering what had happened, and who she was talking about - did her boyfriend break up with her? did he cheat? why has she been upset for so long?
The decription you used was well written, although I do think you could have used a bit more, maybe you could describe the room a bit more? I think the only description we got of it was that her covers were 'crimson-coloured', which was very nice description, but I do think that you could use more of it!
Lovely story, I really liked the end, the slight cliff hanger with her mum's letter - personally i would love to see this extended from a one shot in to a longer story!!! I really want to know what happens next, which is really good!Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that sentence out to me! English is not my native language and, despite years of speaking and writing it, sometimes Italian still kicks in and makes my sentence structure all funny.
I usually don't describe settings very much, but maybe this time I have been a little too sparing in my descriptions, so I'll take your criticism into consideration while editing.
I don't know if this is going to turn into a longer story, but we'll see.
Thank you so much for reading my story and taking the time to review. I really appreciate it. :) Report Review
I have to admit, you had me going for the first half of the story, I thought that Rose's ex was Scorpius. The ending was an unexpected twist.
And the entire thing was hilarious; I'm sorry, but no matter of how good it looks on her, the thought of redhead Rose Weasley in a bright green dress makes me wince a little. ;) Regardless, I loved this line:
"It's the green dress, I swear, it's the dress."
And need I comment on Hermione's letter? Really, she's so matter-of-fact -- but how did she hear of that incident? xD
I loved it! Great job. 10/10.Author's Response: Well, I actually thought it would be him while writing the first half of the story. But then a flash of Scorpius winking at Rose crossed my mind and I HAD to put it in the story. And I thought it would be fun to have Rose dating Cormac McLaggen's son. ;)
As for the green dress, I don't know what's gotten into me. I own the green dress I described in the story and it kept trying to get into the plot, so I let it.
And well, Rose wrote home thanking her Mum for the dress and telling her about the whole incident with Andrew and that was basically what I thought she would answer.
Thank you so much for reading my story and taking the time to review! :) Report Review
Birthday Challenge. Review #13.
Hello! Im so sorry if this has typos and is all over the place, I'm running a tight schedule in trying to get another 7 reviews done in 20 minutes,
I love the character of Cecilia. I don't know what it is about her but I like it.
I like how you didn't reveal anything about why Rose didn't want to go to Hogsmeade until she got there. I like a little bit of mystery xD.
I love how Rose and McLaggen seem to have a Hermione/Draco thing from the books going on here.
I do believe you've managed to beat your writers block into submission because this isn't half bad! In fact, it's very good! I love how it has subtle bits of humour in it, like the letter at the end, and I think it all flows pretty darn well. Probably one of the best flowing things I've read today actually(I've read 13 xD).
I always feel quite bad when I have nothing much to comment on in a fic but it could be consdered a good thing. I have no critisisms at all and I loved how you wrote all the characters, especially Cecilia. I liked the little hint of Rose/Scorpius as well. I'm not too fond of fics with them as the main pairing so just a small hint of it was perfect.
Lorren.Author's Response: I like Cecilia too. She's a lovely character and I might consider writing a fic about her, to show what an awesome friend she is and to tell everyone about her cat, Augustus, which I had to write out of this story. :)
I'm always insecure about the flowing of my story, so it's good to know that it wasn't that bad.
Thank you so much for your review. :) Report Review
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