Oh my god...that was so beautiful...it actually made me cry...
I could feel how Dom was feeling and everything that was happening and all that happened was just written do well...
Well done! This was an awesome piece of work... Report Review
see that ^^? That is me, speechless.
KEEP WRITING :D
Shay_Gryff Report Review
The words in this story are beautiful x The whole story is heartbreakingly beautiful x It was so moving, I was in tears by the end x Dominique's grief and her relationship with her sister were captured pefectly x Really one of the most beautiful stories I've read :') xx Report Review
This is beautiful. There was so much raw emotion throughout the entire piece, and ugh. Stunning writing. Report Review
wow. you have a true talent, you should write a book. you made me cry. and i'm the kinda person who NEVER cries for anything fiction. Report Review
This was such a great story, I'm crying, and it was so beautiful and i just loved it!! Report Review
This is so amazingly heartfelt and so amazingly heartbreaking. The descriptions, and the need to make 100 paper stars, and your description of the sunset, it's all so beautiful. Plus the little details, like him being allergic to flowers, and how you characterised every single person, in that one sentence... I could go on, but you've probably already read this sort of rambling, but I am so incredibly jealous of this story. Report Review
That was beautiful. Really, really beautiful. Report Review
Omg this is good.I nearly cried. Report Review
That was beautiful. I'm crying. Wow, you are talented. That was one of the most gorgeous one-shots I've ever read. Wow. Report Review
I read this awhile ago, but I didn't actually review it. So then I read it again (and cried, again) and decided that if would be plain cruel if I didn't let you know how heartbreaking this piece was.
So here we go... THIS IS BY FAR YOUR BEST PIECE OF WRITING (and that truly says a lot). I have no idea how you came up with something as poetic and lovely as this. The imagery was fantastic, and I love that you wrote all of it using "you" instead of "I". It made it seem more formal, almost.
What I love the most about this is how you mention something, and then use it to tie things together later. You actually did that twice- with the sunset (the part about the boy making fall happen was beautiful) and with the paper stars.
I also love how you didn't mention that it was Louis that died until the very end. At first I thought it was Teddy that died, but it makes more sense for it to be Louis.
This piece was absolutely stunning and any praise I give it will never be enough.
I guess all I can do is ask you to do us all a favor and keep writing. Report Review
It's beautiful. as simple as that Report Review
Seriously, I was tearing up as I read this. It was so beautiful, and heart breaking, and emotional, and lovely, and just plain awesome. I'm in love with your work, really I am.
You're such an impressive writer!
I really liked the relationship between Dominique and Victoire in here. It wasn't perfect, but it was sweet. Especially during the "Depression" part. That scene in the bathroom was so sweet, yet so sad, but I still loved it. And my heart pretty much broke when I read that last line. Gah, this was just...
-Camila :) Report Review
Wow. That is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. You had me tearing up there, which, well, actually is isn't that hard to do but is still a pretty good accomplishment. I love how you've broken it up into the different stages, and I think you've captured each one perfectly. The first sentence is absolutely brilliant, as is the following description, and when you tie it back later, when the boy holds the sunset in his hands and the tree branches dip down and that's how autumn happens is...ah! There are no words.
My absolutely favorite line, I think, is "You sit in your room and paint your nails and do not cry" because it's so stark and bleak and yet somehow conveys everything about the moment perfectly. The detail about the paper stars is particularly haunting, and I can picture the scene in the bathtub all too clearly. You've done a brilliant job mastering the complicated emotions and your descriptions belong on another planet. This sentence: "You can cut and fold and glue all you want, but eventually you will run out of paper trying to give him the sky" just breaks my heart into a million pieces. Really, really brilliant job, and I just can't think of any other words to use to describe how. . . well, brilliant this piece is. Report Review
Wow... really, I can't find the words to tell you how much I liked this.
Well written, original, heartbreaking;
Thank you. Report Review
This was one of the most well written stories that I have ever read. The imagery is amazing, the way that the sunset was described was probably one of my favorite things. I'm normally not a fan of stories with the whole 'you' tense, but I think that you made it work extremely well to get emotions across. This was so realistic, and touching, it made me cry, and it's one of my all time favorites now. Report Review
This is AMAZING.
I haven't really read one shots before but now I wonder what I was missing out on.
Your story deals with a ugly topic in a way that is absolutely beautiful. Every line is amazingly well written and the whole thing flows beautifully.
You can just feel everything that Dominique is going through and the pure, raw emotion is just amazing.
I read Clash and I didn't think that it was possible for one author to pull off a hilarious story and a one shot like this but it is.
Truly amazing. :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I honestly have no idea where this came from. It just pretty much fell out of my fingertips and onto the computer screen, haha. Report Review
How is it possible you only have 18 reviews? This is absolutely amazing!
Your writing style is fantastic. Usually, I don't like 2nd person, or 'you' stories, but I loved this.
The way you write is truly incredible. It has a certain eloquence to it- really, that's the only word I can use to describe it. Eloquent.
Oh, and the way you wrote Dom! How she is jealous of Victoire, or on the verge of hatred anyway. How she deals with his death. How she relates to him, meaning how she loved him the most and how she knew him best. And the paper stars. That killed me.
I also love how Dom and Victoire eventually sort of bonded. It makes me think that maybe things really will be okay.
Oh, that reminds me. ACCEPTANCE= Amazing. That made my heart beat faster. It makes me feel inspired.
Amazing, eloquent, inspiring . Truly a great peace. It's going on my favorites and there it will stay.
Love and rockets,
RemmyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much :)
I think the reason I love Dom so much is because she's so human. She's got all these flaws, it's really difficult to like her... And yet, I think that we all have a little Dom inside of us. The raw, emotional bit that does all these things that make no sense. I don't really know. Look at me, trying to be all philosophical, haha...
The point is, I think the reason I love Dom so much is because she reminds me of the weaker parts of myself. And putting that in writing is just...really therapeutic, actually. It's like my own personal brand of catharsis. :D
Thank you for the review, it means a lot! Report Review
This is one of the best one-shots I've ever read. I adore every bit of it. There is so much imagery, it's so poetic... I love how you kept going back to how the sunset looked and the colors of it. It was incredibly well done. And having it told in the second person? Most real, published author's can't accomplish that, yet, here you are, doing it perfectly. I'm raving about this in my head-- this is so amazing. And you left the reader guessing who died and don't even say his name till the very end, which keeps readers guessing and makes them want to read on :D It's really great how you didn't explain exactly how he died, it gives it a sense of mystery. I love the banner, too, it's fantastic :)
Alright, well, I'm done raving about your story. Excellent job. Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thank you :) This review has just knocked me off my feet... I really don't know what to feel right now. Just... Thanks Report Review
Hi! I saw that you were featured author of the month on TGS and well, congrats! You really deserve it, judging from this beautiful one-shot =)
Your writing style is just lovely and I have such a weakness for beautiful writing that it makes me feel like I'm melting inside (even though, this story is, ironically, about the grieving process)
I love how you used second person for Dom; it really personalizes her character! :D
-JasalineAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you :) I'm glad you liked the second person! A lot of people who read this said they didn't even notice it, haha... I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...
Nevertheless, thank you for your very sweet review! It's much appreciated! Report Review
Wow! That was completely amazing! Everything from your character descriptions to the way everything is described was absolutely beautiful! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy you liked it :) Report Review
I loved this - really, truly loved this. Your writing is just so beautiful and flowly. A line that really struck me was: I dont think I will ever be able to stop missing him. Because really that's what deaths about. Missing people. And i think you wrote it beautifully
10/10Author's Response: You are so right about the 'missing' thing, I cannot agree with you more. Thank you :) Report Review
this is beautiful. i just... there are no true words to describe it. i am truly in awe.
i love your characterisation of Dom. she's so real.
thank you so much for this wonderful piece.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it :) Report Review
I don't exactly know what I want to say in this review, because there are no words to describe how good this was.
I'm kinda speechless right now.
Never stop writing.
You've got me crying right now.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for this amazing piece.Author's Response: Thank you! I am so overwhelmed by the response this story has gotten... I really don't deserve it, but thank you nevertheless :) Report Review
there are just no words.
i haven't reviewed a story in god knows how long, and i haven't cried at a fanfiction before in my whole life, but this, this is something else.
beautiful, breathtaking, perfect, and i still cannot explain how this story makes me feel.Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it :) Thank you so much. Report Review
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