Oh, Melissa, your writing is such a joy to read! Honestly, I don't know if there's anything you could write that wouldnt be beautifully written.
Your descriptions are so lovely, you've improved so much since I first started reading your work - you've got a knack for choosing just the right words in the right quantity and in the right order - it all fits together naturally and each word pulls me on to the next, so I find myself easily drawn in. I think the concept of blue was so perfect, you seemed to weave it into the narrative without me noticing and for some reason, when I was visualising the scene in my head (which was easy to do), I found it was all blue :P I don't know whether you intended to do that, but it was so effective and I don't think anyone's given such a different spin on imagery before. Oh, and the almost repitition of the first paragraph was ... I had to go back and see if it was repeated, but I was so sure it wasn't - the mood changed, the tone was different but it was so close that for the casual eye, it was a repitition. But that worked for me because it made me go "that was so clever!". Fabulous work.
This is an interesting pairing and a unique twist on a traditional love triangle. Your characters were fleshed out just enough to satisfy me, yet you didnt overload me with too much description of them. It's a one-shot and you don't need too much detail. Again, this is where you proved that you've got a knack for finding that balance.
MarinaAuthor's Response: Marina.
This review made my jaw drop. I have a on and off again relationship with liking this fic, and you just gave my confidence a much needed boost. I have noticed an improvement in my writing, but still know I have ways to go. I feel that one shots are my strongest forte.
YAY! YES. The blue was intentional, though you are the only reviewer to pick up on it. :P Even though they are in a courtyard and what not, I pictured a swirly blue paradise the entire time I was writing it. Originally, the last paragraph was a repitition, but I realised that it was wrong. The mood was different and Lysander would not have had the same muse for his poetry/writing as he had in the beginning.
Again, this review was L-O-V-E-L-Y. I can't thank you enough.
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I've never read a story involving the Scamander twins before, but I just loved your characterisation of Lysander, I really did. The sort of rejection experienced here is often portrayed from a females point of view, but rarely from a males. I loved the quiet, tender manner in which Lysander conducted himself and I really admired his chivalry towards the end. Thank you for a lovely read :-)Author's Response: Thank you so much. :) This review really made my day better. I had never read the scamander twins before either. Lysander basically characterized himself. I think chivalrous is a good word to describe him.
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Melissa! Am here to review, seeing as what how this was my challenge and I said I would and all.
Seriously, I loved it. For all you said it was spontaneous and unplanned, it's fantastic. My favourite part is probably a little out there, but I just adored that she was called Maggie.
You built her up as this soft, angelic, etherial, cherubic piece of perfection, then she has a name like Maggie. Not a bad name or anything at all, just in such contrast to how Lysander describes her. It's perfect really.
The start and end are both utterly love. So bittersweet and twisty and sad. Such an interesting way to use the blue, although mildly disappointed not to have a few-thousand words squeeing over the scarves :P
Thanks so much for entering the challenge, I really do hope you had fun with it!Author's Response: Jack!! Thanks so much!
I am glad that you liked this... I know you and angsty fics, so I was a bit hesitant. But I had no control over how this fic turned out. once it was finished, I decided that it was a story about the cycle of pretty people.
I love your description of Maggie. It is spot on to Lysander's vision of her. Cherubic is probably the best word.
yayyay! The start and end were a product of complete spontenaity so it's wonderful to hear that they worked out. In my defence, I did mention the scarves... :-P I just couldn't very well have Lysander hot and worked up about a silly thing like scarves.
This was a very fun challenge!! Thanks for reviewing, Jack. :)
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I think the person change works wondefully. You've compressed quite a lot in a very small space and it's very heartbreaking.
I'll repeat my PM and say how much I ADORED the beginning and ending. One thing I didn't pick up:
Had Lorcan said anything to Lysander about Lydia?
was this meant to be humorous? because I giggled :)
Another thing is that you could sometimes replace Lysander with he more? idk, not a big deal. It's a lovely piece my dear and you did wonders with the photo (I had this first but couldn't find inspiration. Love what you did with it!)
xxAuthor's Response: Hello!
Thanks dearie. :) I like the third person so much more than I liked the first person person. I had never written Lysander before, but I really like him now. Depending on how things pan out, I may do a quick short story about Lorcan, Lysander, and Maggie. :) Not many Scamander boy love triangles out there... could be fun.
thanks for reading over this and for this splendid review. :)
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