Reading Reviews for A Quarter of a Whole
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by onestop_hpfan18 A Mere Quarter of the Whole.

7th May 2010:
Hey, Leslie from TGS here to review as requested! I'm sorry it took me so long to review, but RL has been quite busy and I'm only just now finding the extra time to get some reviewing done. Anyway, onto the review.

Characterisation/2nd person perspective: I thought you did a marvelous job writing from Helga's point of view, and choosing to write it in second person flowed well. It's difficult to write a good piece in second person perspective, but you pulled it off seamlessly and expertly well. Also, I love strong Hufflepuff characters, and the way you've written Helga Hufflpuff up just makes me feel proud as I am more Hufflepuff than any other house. Not to mention, many authors write Hufflepuffs in a differently light, down-playing their characteristics. So, it's nice to see a headstrong, stubborn Hufflepuff that won't give up for what's right.

Ending: I thought you ended it well, and it did not seem abrupt at all. Sometimes the best endings are those that leave the readers hanging, guessing what might happen next. It's best for stories like these to leave what happens next to the imaginations of the readers.

Overall, great founders one-shot! I really did enjoy it. XD 10/10

Author's Response: No worries! It was a total surprise, as I'd actually completely forgotten I was had requested this. :P Thank you for all the praise! I'm still wanting to know how second person could be done badly - I haven't read a bad second person, though I haven't read many in general. I'm a Hufflepuff too! But I'm not half as awesome as Helga...

I'm actually really proud of this, if I'm allowed to say that. xD Thank you, once again!

- emma xx


 Report Review

Review #2, by collette michelle A Mere Quarter of the Whole.

24th April 2010:
Emma! This was BRILLIANT! By far one of the best founders pieces I have read. Maybe even the best. Okay, so I haven't read that many, but still, this one is my favourite!

I had been meaning to review a few more of your pieces (I still must read the Narcissa and Remus ones!) but a few things have been consuming my time as of late!

Anyway, I loved this. It was wonderful. You do second person real well. What I liked most was that it was a second person story not filled with flowery imagery and lengthy descriptions like many (and myself) often do. There was more of a plot and dialogue! Which, it must be noted, was wonderful. You really do have a gift for dialogue. It is true and believable in many different ways.

I loved both Helga and Salazar. The portrayals of them seem very life-like. And true to the small amount we learnt of them from the books. The ending was done so well, I loved the reason Salazar gave, and how he just left 'wanted to watch the castleís collapse, not be crushed by the first stone'. That is a brilliant line, as is the one that follows at the end.

This was really well down, love!
xx.
Collette

Author's Response: EPIC FAIL at responding, but all your reviews made me very, very happy. Post exams I swear I'm going to continue reviewing you. :P One day I aspire to having reviewed everything posted after that one I reviewed first... you know what I mean.

This review makes me blush so much. I adore second person, as I'm sure I've said, and it's rather addicted once you get started, so most of my stories start out in second person (the decision is revised most of the time). Description is actually my weakness, but I like that you've turned that into a strength. I can live with that. :P

I was about to say dialogue was my next weakness (not sure what that laves as my strengths? Hmm, I should work on that...), because I've had reviews say I need to work on my dialogue. I actually really liked it in this oneshot, though - I was quite proud of it, if I'm allowed to say that.

Mep, you spoil me. I loff you. -squishles-

- emma xxx


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login