That was very cute :) Just two little things:
1. Okay, so I might be completely wrong with this, but I found a couple of tense issues in your writing [not many..just a few] e.g. "Everyone had decided to spend it outside, even Hermione who gave up [had given up?] her books for a day." Just something that I picked up on, but for all I know, I might be completely wrong.
2. Personally, I fon't think that there was any reason for Hermione to get really ticked off at the end just because there was a box of chocolates on her bed.
But apart from that, I loved it. Keep going, and I'm waiting for the sequel that we were promised :PAuthor's Response: lol i actually forgot about that. lol. Report Review
this was so cool i really like it are u write a second one 2 go with it xoxoAuthor's Response: yeah... the second bit of that didnt make sense Report Review
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