and above all, as you read my EXTREMELY mean and critical review. reme
ber that i cared eanough to read this far and tell you how to improve. (and dont think im crazy because i split this up into so many comments... there is a 6000 character?limit and my phone wont tell me how much room i have left so for fear of losing everything when i tried to send it, i made them all somewhat short and submitted them seperatly... not crazy for that... for many other reasons. anyway, great story. believe it or not i like it, i just want to see it get better.

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where was I? ahh yes. pacing. you seem to be burning through conflict like?a crazy person and the frantically trying to create intrigue (her parents dying suddenly? COME ON! that was so rushed and impersonal. SERIOUSLY! i like what your doing with hermione's mom and how you initiated that in the beginning, but i with you wouldnt rush through things so quickly. and make hermione and george fight for once. PLEASE! IM BEGGING YOU! They are losing their relatability as a couple. and i wouldnt mind you making ginny and harry bigger characters in this. they are there...but impersonal...no characterization. DONT DEPEND COMPLETELY ON WHAT ROWLING LAID DOWN FOR YOU. IT IS YOUR STORY NOW! And thus far, all the character's feelings are being TOLD to me by their dialouge. try to express more with vivid desctiption of body language and inner thoughts. and i repeat. REALISTIC conflict! you have eanough crazy plot twists for one story, stick with those and give me a good old fashoned lovers quarrel.

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sorry, i didnt think to comment until now so some of the problems i have with the story happened a way long time ago. 1) i take major issue with hermione and george living together in her room at hogwarts...how would the head boy next door NOT notice them living together...HELLO! and the ladies in the painting seemed kinda gossip-ey. not to mention that i dont think dunbledore would ever allow it. PLUS im shocked that hermione jumped into bed with george so quickly after just GIVING BIRTH. She of all people should know to be careful with these things! and she shouldnt be such a good mother. shes seventeen. i would have liked to see her do something wrong and freak out, that would make it more realistic, i think. I can tell that you probably plan this chapter by chapter and you have trouble with pacing (im countinuing on the next comment)

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hermione is such a bitch! She keeps the TRUTH from ron simply because they think his reaction will be bad or he wont take it seriously...WHAT?!?! They COMPLETELY Over look his right to know about HIS KID! then Hermione gets pissed at HIM for forgeting the kids name when he was trying to apologize! when she knows full well that SHE should be appologizing to HIM! Think long and hard about hermione's intentions throughout this story and for the love of God try to be a little realistic!

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I love this story and know you probably have alot going on and I don't mean to be rude but if your going to abandon this story abandon it already! It's been over a year since you updated! I love this story but I hate false hope!

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Love this story can't wait for the next chapter!

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aw finally fred hooks up

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This is a great story. The character's all interact really well with each other and it's heartwarming with all the love going around:)
Please say you'll continue!
- Callie ox

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This is fantastic although I always pictured Remus and Tonks Together not Fred and Tonks. But I like it it's new. I can't wait to see What happens next with George Hermione and Dylan.

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OMG this is AWESOME!!!

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Ok I can't stand this any more. It's FLEUR not flure

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Hello!

I know i haven't reviewed yet, but i just started reading your story and i really love it. This light you put George in is amazing!

Please update soon:)


Ever your servant,

TheMissQwerty

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I really like this story! I love how Hermione is building up her family again. The characters are written really well and I hope you update soon!! :)

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please update soon i just have to know what happens next. And if Im right Remus is Hermiones Biological Father, dose he ever tell her?

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PLEASE update soon! this is an amazing story, I can't wait for the next chapter!! :D xx

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Pretty pretty please, upload a new chapter!

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I love this story sooo much!!! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hi Stephanie b,

Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so much. I'm writing the next chapter now it's called "Well..."
A little bit stuck but hoping to have it up really soon.

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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSEEE WRITE ANOTHER ONE !!! I AM BEGGING YOU !!! oh! and it's really good :D

Author's Response: Hi Mrs TomFelton,

I'm working on the next one now! I PROMISE!!

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LOVE this fic!! :) great chapter!
can't wait for the next update! :)

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I love the Fact that Ron is the father but she pretends it's George

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So glad to see you updating. Love your story.

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Oh my god. That was really really really good! I read this all in one day and honestly it's my first Geomione (Yes, it's different than Fremione)
10/10
~dramionedrunadrinny

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I fell of my chair when I read about Tonks and Fred, (don't worry I'm fine.) I really should have seen that one coming. I have a nagging feeling about Remus, I *don't* know why though... You're doing a great job!

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hey Dark Crys, I just wanted to say that you are an amazing writer! I absolutely love this fanfiction, its bloody brilliant as Ron would say haha. For about 3 days I could not be seen without my phone reading this story! My mum was about to confiscate my phone I think :P also I really love the whole tonks/fred thing, its really cute! And I can't wait to find out who Hermione's father is either! I also think that one day you should write your own book, I'm sure it would be a major success! Good luck with the rest of the story xoxo

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I love this story so far, your definetly on the right track! I can't wait til I know all that's happened throughout this story :)

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