Reading Reviews for Slytherin Pride
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by thegirlwholived17 Hagrid's Hut

22nd April 2011:
I really enjoyed this chapter! Please update soon: :D

Author's Response: Thanks! I was starting to worry that no one read my dumb old fic. Thanks again for the inpiration, I'll get to writing!

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Review #2, by obiwancrazy Prologue

14th March 2011:
Awww! This is so cute. I love when people do first year stories, since most times the characters are older and all serious... but it's really refreshing for a change, you know? I'm reading on...

Author's Response: Yeah, I know what you mean, sometimes you've got to go back to the good old days!

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Review #3, by Kyle101k The Sorting

14th December 2010:
Great story so far! I hope you continue to write! Also, a great idea for a story! Ron getting sent to Slytherin! I can't wait until you write another chapter for us to read!
-Kyle K.

Author's Response: haha there's two more!

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Review #4, by Hermionniny9 Prologue

27th July 2010:
i could swear that i reviewed this and read it but maybe i didnt, oh well any way its good

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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Review #5, by lilypotterfan123 Hagrid's Hut

27th July 2010:
loved this chapter just as much as the story-it's awesome! Update soon (well when the queue comes back that is!)

LpF123 xx

Author's Response: Thanks! I always nice to hear someone loves your story!

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Review #6, by Riya Potter The Sorting

22nd July 2010:
Nice... but there were some spelling and grammar mistakes. but this one's going to be interesting. I m dying to read further...
Update soon^_^

Keep writing... :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I updated yesterday. It'll be up soon.

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Review #7, by ASA The Sorting

14th July 2010:
Wow, Ron a Slytherin... very odd cant wait 4 the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

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Review #8, by tepiestar The Sorting

21st June 2010:
a ron centric story. i don't usually read these, so it's a nice change. can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: Thanks alot!

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Review #9, by hermione999 The Sorting

18th June 2010:
Hi Crestwood long time don't talk lol. Thanks for leaving a review on my chapter 5 so now I am returning the favor :)
Ok so I love the idea of Ron being in Slytherin and I'm curious on this is going to turn out so PLEASE update soon!!!
P.S. My chapter 6 should be up sometime within the next 2 days. I'm sorry for the long wait it's just I have had alot on my plate lately.
Love the story, and keep up the good work!!! 10/10
~Deja

Author's Response: Thanks alot for the review. You're awesome.

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Review #10, by Aether The Sorting

6th June 2010:
Your writing has really improved. I see some problems with grammar and phrasing, but it's not bad enough to be too distracting. Your plot is really inventive, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. I think you really do capture Ron's insecurities well. There are parts that aren't canon (like, didn't Hagrid tell Harry about Voldemort already?), but otherwise you're making this far-fetched plot line very believable in Potterverse.

The parts I feel you could look for is where you can add even more depth to the story. Though you say that Ron is selfish and cunning, perhaps you could actively show the reader that he does, indeed, match his house. Also, fixing small things that seem insignificant when you're reading through can actually make a big difference in the story. For example, when the hat talks to Ron, it does not have an ending " before 'it started.' I stumbled over that part. In addition, be sure you're spelling HP terms right (Gryffindor and Quidditch) because other Harry Potter fans might pick up on that and be grouches. I hope your computer problem is resolved eventually. I'm glad I decided to check this out. Fantastic start!

Aether

Author's Response: Well I have a computer temperaraly. Thanks. I'm glad to hear I'm improving!


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Review #11, by lilypotterfan123 The Sorting

25th May 2010:
This is an awesome-What if- because it opens so many windows that you know you'd never think of. I think it's really good the way it's in 1st person and it matces the character really well. This chapter really makes you feel sympathy for ron because he knows Draco is going to treat him like dirt. Or will he??? 10/10!!

LpF123 xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This makes me feel awesome! :D

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Review #12, by vicky_4evah The Sorting

16th May 2010:
okay.well you kinda need to do your spell check...you spelled gryffindor wrong...every.time. :( im so so so sorry... it just got annoying. good plot line though!!! i can't wait to read more!! poor ron! i feel so bad for him!! :(

Author's Response: Thanks I'll have to fix that.

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Review #13, by krapfm The Sorting

16th May 2010:
Infact I do like it very much :)
my favorite scene is:
As I float across the lake my mind wanders to the sorting and what it actually involves. I hope it's not a test. I might fail and be dumped into Slytherin.
That's really cruel as if everybody in Slytherin might be stupid. ;D (if I got it correctly.) But like stated above, my favorite scene. :D
There are a few minor mistakes in this chapter, but I think nothing to bad.
Did you put Cho Chang with intent in the same year as the Trio?? *wondering* :)
Also I found the reaction of the Slytherins very realistic. :D
Good work!! :D
*looking forward to the next chapter*
krapfm :D

Author's Response: Thanks and yeah I know Cho's in the trio's year.


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Review #14, by black_n_proud_hp4lyf Prologue

14th May 2010:
hahahaha!!! they all sound soo cutee!! i remember when they were all young and adorable... *sniff sniff*

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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Review #15, by Marianne Prologue

11th May 2010:
good story. really like it. working on something like this but haven't seen any other fanfic like this other than my own

Author's Response: Cool! Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like it.

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Review #16, by krapfm Prologue

10th May 2010:
oh wow :D
It begins promising, very promising indeed and funny :)
Looking forward to the next chapter :)
krapfm

Author's Response: Thank you sooo much! This review made my day!

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Review #17, by femme_fatale Prologue

9th May 2010:
I liked this very much so far =) I can't wait to see where you go with it!

Femme ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you. I'll try to update soon!

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Review #18, by Evil Sami Poo Prologue

26th April 2010:
This is a good concept and I like how you have portrayed the characters, though I would suggest a beta just to finalise a few details when you write. Otherwise, well done!

Author's Response: thank you. Yeah I know I need a beta. I'm trying! *keeps fingers crossed*

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Review #19, by moonbaby11 Prologue

21st April 2010:
:) That was cute. I loved the part where Ron 'squealed like a fangirl!' lol, that was hilarious!

I also loved this sentence: Besides Malfoy's are blonde so dad doesn't think very highly of blondes at all.

I'd love to see more of it, I think it's a really cool idea! :)

Author's Response: Thanks you're awesome! At this point I think you have read everything I have posted so far! It really means alot.

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Review #20, by maskedmuggle Prologue

12th April 2010:
Wow I loved the beginning of this!
Was very interesting!

You have a few grammar errors, but they're not bad enough to annoy me. Example:
You couldn't tell at first glance, but it can fly and more amazingly hold the entire Weasley family.
Couldn't is past tense, and can is present. You have both past and present tense in the same sentence, which sounds a bit weird.

You also have some spelling errors, but there's only a few and they don't really interrupt in the story, e.g. "quiditch" should be quidditch, "Planing" should be planning, "horred" should be horrid, "marred" should be married...
Some capital letter errors: "fred" needs a capital. "Muggle born" doesn't need a capital m.

The part where it started to get a bit weird though was here with Mr. Weasley:
He said , " I know you're scared about sorting and even if you're put in Slytherin I would be disappointed, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. And don't let Fred and George wind you up.
I don't think he would say that, and admit that he would be disappointed. In a few places, you've also left out inverted commas, like above ^

Last thing, the end bit isn't to canon right? I don't think it's written as well as the top. Although your ideas are excellent, (the arguing between Ron/Hermione like a married couple), some parts of it isn't realistic. Although Ron would admire Harry, I don't think its part of his personality to "squeal like a fangirl", and Hermione wouldn't say Ron had a "thick skull" so soon after meeting him.

I know it sounds like a lot, but really, just small bits you could fix up would make it even better than it already is!
Was very interesting to read, and I'm keen to see where this story will lead you (:

Author's Response: thank you for the well thought through review! It helps.

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Review #21, by Temple Deer Prologue

29th March 2010:
I am intrigued by what would happen to Ron in Slytherin, however, I find it hard to believe that his parent's would disown him for marrying a blond, or that his Dad would be disappointed if he went into the 'wrong' house. His brothers, sure, but his parents??

I like eavesdropping on Hermione's conversation with Harry. The idea of two Muggle-borns puzzling out Quidditch is fun. More of this would be nice.

This could be longer and go into more detail if you wanted to do that. There is a lot going on in only 500+ words. Also, I find it hard to believe that Hermione would 'shout' and that Harry would 'bellow'. Save these descriptors for when they're truly needed (perhaps when Ron gets sorted into Slytherin and his brothers are reacting?).

Good title, by the way. Hope to see a lot of this pride in the following chapters.

Author's Response: Thanks for leaving a review. You're the first. I love the criticism it helps. You should read my other story The Other Side of Me. I think you will like it.

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