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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Olivia Chapter One

25th September 2012:
whoa...
This is awesome! You haven't updated in ages , do you plan on continueing it? I love the plot; spys are just so badass, and the Potter/Weasley clan are obviously spoiled :).
HP fanfictions are better when the Potter/Weasleys are not nice.
Does that make me a bad fan? Probably, but whatever.
So can you update? I see some epic comando rolls in the future of this story...

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Review #2, by Hannah Chapter One

22nd October 2011:
Hai... I love it.
Please update soon...
xD

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Review #3, by Ravenclawgirly07 Chapter One

24th June 2011:
I absolutely love the story plot! New chapter soon?

Author's Response: I'm actually completely re-writing it...again!! haha, but hopefully I'll stick to one idea long enough to get past 2 chapters!

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Review #4, by Voldys_Moldy Chapter One

13th June 2011:
wow. dude, please get the next chapter up soon! that sounds so awesome! man...it's like something out of a Hunger Games-esque book. very good, i noticed a few minor grammar errors, but it was still excellent. nice beginning. i really want to read more, so do update!

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks!! I'm currently writing the next one and hopefully getting the next chapter up soon!

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Review #5, by angeless7fallenstarsong Chapter One

3rd December 2010:
Oooh, very unique idea. I like the SIT thing. Is it Auror training, or for something else?

I encourage you to add more description and flesh out your character more. As of right now, we don't know much about her.

Lovely, lovely, lovely! Taaa!

Author's Response: Thanks for the CC and encouragement! I really do appriciate and it helps me greatly with my writing! :)

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Review #6, by TallestTower Chapter One

13th June 2010:
Hello! It's Broomsticks from the forums with your review :)

- Narrator

I thought she was a good narrator, this is a short chapter so I don't really know the character all that well yet. But she seemed to the point, and it was a good introduction to the story, because we know a lot about her already :)

- Tone

I'll like the formality of it, and the way everything was to the point, but the character still seemed interesting.

- Description

There wasn't a lot of description, but it was a short chapter and the first one, so I wouldn't expect that.

- Characters

Ovbiously this is the first chapter, so I'm not going to go into detail about the characters because I don't know that much yet. Right now, I'd like to know more about what the main character actually looks like. But I'm looking forward to learning more in chapter two!

- Dialogue

I liked how formal and brief the dialogue was with the "gruff voice man", because I thought it showed a lot about what working for SIT was like.

- Plot so far

Really good ending! The type that makes you want to read on. And it seems like an interesting and unique idea!

- Grammar

Seemed perfect to me. I know Blueirony is awesome with grammar! :) The only thing I would say is that numbers below 100 should be used as words, not as figures. Sorry, that doesn't make any sense haha. What I mean is three instead of 3, etc. But that's all I noticed!

This seems like an original fic and it's very gripping from the first chapter! Hope this review was helpful and I'm off to chapter two!

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much for the awesome review! I'm really glad you liked the first chapter! Also thanks for the grammar tip,
I had no idea! I guess you learn something new everyday :)

Thanks again!

music_is_inside_of_me


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Review #7, by hp4eva786 Chapter One

1st June 2010:
i like this chapter. nice way to begin the story!

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #8, by myriad Chapter One

1st June 2010:
First off I love your banner!

Your line spacing needs some working on. Only one space is needed between paragraphs, and having more is annoying because the reader has to scroll down every five seconds. Sure scrolling makes you feel like you've accomplished something, but it gets irrating too you know?

There were a couple places where words were missing. Like I think your brain was moving faster than you could type and you just skipped over a word here and there. Just go back over it a couple of times and I'm sure you'll catch it.

Now there was one part where the women talking (I think it's a women) came in and man was upset with her and then she said she had an explanation but then she went into all this exposition abotu SIT and her childhood and then when the exposition was over the man just said it was okay. I'm very confused. What was okay? What was her explanation? What exactly is this SIT? And who are this man and the women?

Author's Response: hahah thanks! Gotta love the TDA!!

Yes, I was having trouble with all the crazy spacing and I'll will probably go back and fix it when I find a beta who will edit it for me :)

The part where the girl was explaining why she was late isn't too important yet so I decided to explain a bit about the girl while she was "explaining" it to the man. It is confusing and will probably be smoothed out when I find a beta :)

Thanks so much for the honest review, it really did help :)


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Review #9, by naflower05 Chapter One

10th May 2010:
good story so far, im looking forward to seeing where this goes. update soon please! =]

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #10, by agmalfoy Chapter One

28th March 2010:
very interesting! look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #11, by HuntressK Chapter One

27th March 2010:
its good can't wait to read more. You might want to try and blend in with the story some more details about the characters background as you go along.can't wait for the next chapter

Author's Response: thank you so much! Ill try to take your advice :)

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Review #12, by Oo PuRpLe BuBbLeS oO Chapter One

27th March 2010:
hm
very interesting...
this could be a very good story!
update soon!

Author's Response: thank you!! ill try :)

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Review #13, by Little Writter Chapter One

27th March 2010:
Hey! I'm Andy :D
First of all, I liked how you started, I actually love strong characters so, you've got my attention.
Which year are they, by the way?
I hope you update soon!

- Andy.

Author's Response: Hey Andy!
Thanks so much for reviewing!
There actually in 6th year :)


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