Dominique is a girl. O.o Not a boy.Author's Response: Dominique is a unisex name, and I've seen many people take the boy route with this character, just like I've seen many female Lorcan's. I guess it's just a different way of seeing things. Report Review
“Best Howler ever,” some 6th Year said as he walked back to the Hufflepuff table.
I agree with him that was THE BEST howler ever!Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! :) Report Review
Let me just start off by saying that the chapter image is really cute! It's too bad about some people trying to hex Lucy though just because she's a champion and they aren't but what can I say there are always Jealous people around. Great Chapter!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked this chapter. Report Review
I can see that Rose is regretting dumping Lucy for stupid Scorpius (I hate him) and I can't wait to see more of this I bet you anything that Scorpius is going to try to twist Rose being a champion to his own advantage.Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I'm glad that you are enjoying this. I hope that you like the next chapter (when it gets validated after the queue re-opens) Report Review
Oh that's not good :0 Percy is probably going to have a fit and try to withdraw his daughter from the tournament right? I'm excited to see what happens next and I think Molly sounds exactly like her father but with a little more motive you know what I mean?Author's Response: Yeah, I get what you mean. That's kind of how I pictured Molly. Anyway, you'll see Percy's reaction in chapter 5, which I really should put in the queue after it opens up again. Thanks for reading! :) Report Review
Wow! All Weasley champions well I can't say I surprised since there are so many of them. I look forward to seeing how Percy will react to his daughter being a champion and I want to see Lucy clobber Rose for being a Slytherien! (sorry got a tad dramatic there).
This out to get really good.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yeah, Percy doesn't have the best reaction to the news that his daughter is in a comptetion where she may die! ;) I'm glad you enojyed this. Report Review
Hi there! Alright well I took a peak at this, *is slightly ashamed* because of the banner when I was browsing through recently added stories. But I am glad I did! :)
Though, I have to ask. What year is Lucy in? It never says anything, and if you were still using the same rules from the fourth book, the contestant entered has to be seventeen...
But other than that, I thought it was really interesting that you put Rose and Hugo in Slytherin and kind of made her a 'bad-girl'. I've not seen that yet! xD (And I read A LOT of Rose stories) :P
Overall, I liked you story. There were a couple of grammatical issues, but other than that it was awesome! Original plot line too! 9/10
VBAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you enjoyed this and that you thought the plot was original! :) Report Review
I like that this is in Roses pov and that you have changed it up but you have not split the chapter in to her and someones eles. I look forward to Roxannes and Louis because you have made sure that. Rose is Rose and that Lucy is Lucy, they are themseves and that is import. Yes you can see things that makes them family but that is meant to happen. They will all have something different so you can tell that they have been around each other for so long.
I reall liked the friendship bettween Rose and Scop, it was like they only really trust each other and yet are the same time they dont even know if that is true, every Slytherin of them.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! you're really helping me with this story. :) Anyways, I'm glad that you liked that I made it in Rose's POV. The next chapter is written, I just have to find the right time to put it into the queue.
That's what I was tryign to go for with Rose and Scorp's relationship, so I'm glad that you caught that. Thanks so much! :D Report Review
I have to say that all this talk about what is the first task to be has got to me I want to know. I love how this chapter shows Lucy's friendships with James and Dom aswell as more Skip and Rae. I love Skip, he comes out so well and his little quikes are great. I love the first part in the liariby and the line about the spiders... I hope that comes in to the house cup and all. I cant wait to see the next chapter and hopely it has the first task in it.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you liek the story! Chapter 4 should be up soon! Report Review
Great start to your story!
First of all nice banner, those types of things always draw a reader in and I think yours captures your mood so well!
Secondly, great plot! People always try to bring back the triwizard tournament but really the idea of a house cup tournament is such a great one! Thirdly, because you use original characters, your free to write whole new personas! I think you do a great job varying the personalities and making them realistic characters!
I used way too many exclamation points.
--dark marked :)Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you thought it was interesting! Report Review
I'm here from the HPFF Review Tag thread to take a look at your story. ^_^
This first chapter sets up an interesting plot. It was nice to see all the Next-Gen kids not getting along perfectly. Their rivalry in this fic is not good-natured, but rather, has a sharp edge to it. These kids really don't like each other, which makes them all the more realistic. I also liked the fact that the rest of the student body of Hogwarts was less than thrilled to see that only Weasleys made it into the House Cup competition. Their not an entirely popular group, which allows for a unique perspective, considering the fame of their parents.
As far as constructive criticism goes, I would suggest you try not to introduce too many new characters in such a sort space of time. With a bunch of new names and faces to digest, readers can quickly find themselves lost. Also, I would consider adding a bit more description. You don't have to overload your story with sensory details, but it would be nice to get inside Lucy's head and experience what she does. Of course, these suggestions are only based on my opinions. Please do take them with a grain of salt. ^_^
Good luck with this fic!
celticbardAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! :) I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and I've been thinking about going back and editing this one up a bit, so thanks for the suggestions! ;) Report Review
Wow, that was great! Almost as good as the last two chapters. (Sorry i didn't reveiw them im in a rush) But i want to let you know that this story is amazing and i can't find anything wrong so its basically PERFECT! Great job,
I just wanted to let ya know that my next chapter for my fanfiction: "Nothing is perfect..." is up, you can check it out if you want. (:
Keep writing and leaving amazing reviews,
- AutumnAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I'll have to go check out the next chapter soon! :) Report Review
I thought Dominique was actually a girl?Author's Response: I'm not sure if it is actually said, but yes, Dominique is normally a girl. Since it's a unisex name, though, I figured I should make her a boy, since their don't seem to be enough Potter/Weasley boys. Report Review
Another good chapter. I thought that the whole deal with Holly and Mia shooting spells at her because she was the Ravenclaw champion was perhaps...a little over the top, but apart from that, I have nothing bad to say really! I liked Rae's 'take a picture' thing because I thought it gave her a bit more character.
I noticed no grammatic mistakes or spelling, again. If I was being particularly picky, I would say that levicorpus is a non verbal spell, but that really doesn't matter that much...
Overall, I would say it's another successful chapter! I'm interested to see how things turn out. :)Author's Response: Yeah, I have to agree it was a little over the top, but it was fun to write so.
Oh, it is? Man, I forgot that. Thanks for pointing that out! ;) Glad you're interested in the story! Report Review
This is an interesting Next Gen story, I like the fact that I haven't read this storyline loads of times before. I also liked the way that not all the Weasleys got along, and that they were all in different houses, again because I haven't read this take on things before.
I thought your characterisations were good, you certainly got a sense of what each character was like. You showed Rose as a kind of 'Slytherin queen', protected by Scorpius, which I liked. It's only the first chapter though, so I am looking forward to you building up the characters in later chapters!
I liked Lucy's greed, I thought that would have probably been inherited from the Weasley line (Ron!).
I didn't notice any grammar or spelling mistakes, which was good :)
Overall, I think this is a great start.Author's Response: Thanks for the great review. :) I'm glad that you liked the characterizations of my characters and of the Weasley's as a whole. I'm glad oyu enjoyed it. ;)
I really like where you're headed with this, and the overall plot of the story. However I did think that the fighting in the dorm was a little out of the blue, sure girls fight but would they really get that riled up over something so small? Maybe if the fight had played out verbally a little longer it would have seemed a tad more realistic. Your characterization of Lucy is something that I really enjoy, and I think that you've done a good job explaining her character. I think in the next few chapters you could go into more details on the OC's though, because there still isn't much known about them. The reference to the last tournament was a really neat way to end the chapter, because it makes you think about if it'll be the same or not...and if it were the same how it'd play out.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you're nejoying the story. I think at the point where I wrote the fight, I was trying to get the chapter done so I could put it in the que, so I kind of just stuck it in there. :P Anyways, I am planning on elaberating on my OCs, and the Weasley's too, though it will mostly be the champions and Dominique. Report Review
So Lucy is my favorite of the Next Gen's so I was really excited about this. I liked how right away there was plot information, jumping right into the story rather than just filler information. It got me hooked right from the start, which I think is really important for the first chapter of a story. I also found the way that Lucy and Rose had been friends, but were no longer friends very interesting, as in most stories there aren't many fights such as that in the Weasley family. I think it'll be interesting to see how the story goes on seeing as ALL of the Champions are related, surely that'll cause tension in the family of some sort. I think that you could have added more description in some of the conversations, but other than that I thought it was a great start.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you ejoyed what I did with Lucy and Rose. ;) Anyways, this summer I'm planning on going through and editing up my stories a bit, and adding more description, and stuff like that! :) Report Review
Finnally you updated! Long time no c! Really liked this story and I can't wait to read more!
I like the pair Skip/Lucy, I don't know why but I love BFFs love stories, they seem even more complicated than the impossible ones!
Great chapter!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Sorry it took so long ot update! ;) Report Review
ok well I have to start of to say this is a good second chapter and this I love the way you started with them all coming out of room and going to their own friends/houses, how the family didnt have that much to say to each other.
I loved the talk about trying to get how many cousins lucy has that could be Champin.
Have a question about Skip, is that a nick name for him? He comes of quite the kind and a bit of a smart ass, but you can tell that he would do anythink to be there for a mate, That brings me to the next question about him, dose he have other friends that are boys or is it just Lucy and Rae?
Holly and Mia-I dont like them as they are just the school yard bullies but you have done a great job in putting them across as I dont feel sorry for them, juts the way that Lucy would feel about them.
Perry- dont really know what to make of him as there was not a big part in her for him but I will say even with the small words that he had or was talked about, I cant wait for more and Also I had this question running through my head that he was just talking to her because she made Chapion? Is he?
As for faceing a Drangon, I hope not as at this point in time I am over history repeating itself. But I do want to see what you put as the first task.
LouiseAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
Skip: I'm not sure if that's his real name or not, to be honest. If it ever applys to the plot, I'll figure it out. I don't really think he has many other friends. I guess him and Al will be friendly to eachother, but I wouldn't exactly call them 'friends'. It's mostly him and the girls. :)
Holly and Mia: Thanks for the feedback!
Perry: Well, Lucy has a crush on him, so I wanted him to talk to her here! :) I think the only reason he might've talked to her was because he'd never really noticed her until she became champion. I think that's one of the reasons he talked to her.
You'll have to see what I do for the Tournament, but I promise you it will be somewhat original! Report Review
The plot sounds like there is going to be a family fight to come with having to chose a side, must likely by the houe they are in. This is were I would like to see the reaction of the older family members. I do like how you have all the Weasleys the best of friends I mean who is with there hole family? And the way the Weasleys are spred out across the diffrent house. I have never seen Rose to be in Slythrain but the small take on her comes out like she is in the right place, and Scorps line about do you want me to tell Rose just made me laugh, but you can tell the Lucy is not happy with him and like she said why is he not with her, intersting. Rea is a loveabe bestfriend that I can see geting suck in the middle when this blows up. Roxy I would have to say is my favoirt in here, love how she just goes with the flow. Louis being a know-it-all, that something that cought my eyes, would not have thought it, well be intresting to see how that pans out. As for Lucy she comes out just like Roxy but she had more thought put in to her actions before she does something.
If I was sat at in the Great Hall with them all, I would have said the same thing as the frist year as that is not fair but as McGonagall said it the Goblets choice and I get that, and I do see the inroy of what Rae says at the start about 'with all of you entering one of you has to make it'. It was the first thing that came to mind when Rose and Roxy made it.
Oh and I just thought did you notice that its two Rs and two Ls.
But I do have to say the last line was my favoirt loine and great way to end it.
LouiseAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
Yeah, I've never really seen Rose in Slytherin, either, but I felt that out of all of them, (except for Al, though I didn't want to focus it on Harry's kids) she would fit in best there.
Thanks for your opinion on Rae, Roxanne and Lucy! :)
Yeah, I would definetly complain like the first year did.
Yeah, I didn't really notice till after I had it planned out that I had two L's and two R's. :D
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
I loved your descriptions of the Weasley's. I like how they don't all really get along. I mean do you get along with your whole family? Overall I liked it.Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much! lol, this is fun, just going back and forth bewteen the two of us! ;)
And, no, I don't get along with my whole family. (namely my little sister, but..)
Anyways, I'm hoping to get the next chapter up soon! Report Review
It is amazing, I love how you went into so much detail about all the weasleysAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for the review! Hope you read more! Report Review
Awesome beginning! I love how you got them putting their names in! Really good so far. I like Lucy, she isn't like most people think Percy's kid would be, you know? And I like how you dont make all the Weasley's friends- cause most people think they are. Anyway, awesome story!:)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Yeah, I never really felt tlike Lucy would be like Percy, and I doubt that all. 12 of the Weasley/Potters would be able to stand each other! Report Review
O liked it very creative!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the read and review! Report Review
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