Reading Reviews for Oh! How Horrid!
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ksingh Here We Are, Oh Great

8th October 2010:
"And any First Year that would attempt such a foolish endeavor should have been made a poignant example of, lest others of the same brood attempt to follow in their sickly footprints."

O.K. that's priceless. One of the best lines ever. You can't have them all over the place, but when you put them in here and there, it's like biting into a doughnut and finding the perfect filling.

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Review #2, by ksingh Just Give Up, I'm Serious

8th October 2010:
I love the dialogue. You're an excellent writer. Keep it up.

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Review #3, by Alopex Here We Are, Oh Great

16th April 2010:
You don't have any reviews for chapter three? But 4-6 have at least one. o_O That is WEIRD. I never understand why that happens.

You overdid Madam Pince. The dialogue, I mean. Not her actions. You kinda lost me with the carrion stuff. But plenty of people overdo her for my personal mental image of her, so maybe I'm the weird one out.

This chapter wasn't as good as the last one, in my opinion. Lucy and Roxanne were nowhere near as appealing as Fred and James. Too much ridiculousness for me again. Sure, they said a couple of amusing things, but I didn't find them all that funny. I think YOUR voice is coming out too much in them. They sounded more like boys than girls to me.

I actually started to feel sorry for Al here, though! Poor kid! He needs a chocolate lollipop. Ok, not really, but you know. I still find him annoying. Seriously, does he have to take himself so seriously? Did no one send him the memo that this is a humorous story? But at least he's annoying in a cute way, if cute is the best word (it's not quite right, but it's close).

Haha, friend zone? I'm not sure I understand the precise definition of a friend zone, but I can guess.

The last line cracked me up. I have a feeling that Albus is about to do something incredibly stupid. It's like watching a poetic train wreck!

Author's Response: My mouth is dropped. Seriously? Now I'm laughing. Apop really? A chocolate lollipop? Gross! That's . . . ew. I've never heard of one before in my life. Besides those nasty Dum-Dums ones you never want to eat. Blech.

I'm so totally going to blame your hatred of Lucy and Roxanne on knowing the author too well. They sounded like boys. My friends must sound like boys. Just sayin' Apop, just sayin'. And no, those aren't the boyfriends - WAIT - let's reword that. Those aren't the boy friends that I have - they're the girl (SPACE) friends.

. . . That was . . . moving on! So friends zone? You've never heard that statement before? Oi. It's a nightmare miss, a true nightmare. When you are attracted wholeheartedly to a girl but you're just her friend. She sees you like a lamp. That's it. It's mortifying! D:

Madam Pince was supposed to be over done. Not sure to take that as a compliment or a diss either. I'm taking it as a diss because that's how you meant it . . . where's my tootsie rolls? Oh here they are. . . . They keep me company on these cold winter nights.

I don't either. About the skipping review chapters. That was really awkward wording. About the chapter not having any reviews. That better? Oi. I know it's late in the day but I just got up from a nap . . . so.

. . . It's weird that you should mention poetic train wrecks. Very weird.

Anyways, I think you did compliment me once up there - Al's not cute but he's not annoying in a bad way (really? Really? If I didn't know you so well I would so say you were a Dementor. And you can figure that one out :P) - so thank you for the review.

And the critique as well, I'll definitely go back and look through Lucy and Roxanne's dialogue to see if I can add some sunshine and flowers to make it more 'girly'.

♥ Jackson


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Review #4, by Alopex Just Give Up, I'm Serious

16th April 2010:
*comes bearing tootsie rolls* You know what? I don't love 'em myself, so you can have all mine.

Wow, quick response. I wasn't expecting that. There I was innocently thinking I'd be able to slip in here today and leave another couple of reviews before you got around to responding. After all, 800 words isn't much to judge a story by. Well, foiled again by your quick writing.

By the way, saying that you wrote this all in one go didn't work very well as a defense--just proved my point. You're a writing machine. (Admittedly, this is coming from someone who's lucky to write 80 words in a month, never mind 80,000.)

Enough chit-chat. I thought Chris's Irish accent seemed off in a few places, but what do I know about Irish accents? By the way, he sounds rather hideous . . . pale, freckly, missing teeth. Lily won't have any competition from me. I guess Chris was nice and encouraging, though . . . decent OC so far.

This chapter was more to my liking. Fred and James actually cracked me up here. Surprised that they don't have raging hangovers, really, but I guess that's what potions are for. Anyhow, you're making them like the Next-Gen Fred and George, aren't you? Their banter was very playful and hilarious. Reminded me a lot of the twins. I did find the dialogue difficult to follow in a couple of places. By that I mean I had to stop and look backward to remember who was talking.

Everything is still melodramatic, naturally, but it didn't seem forced. Didn't make me want to groan. I think part of the reason is that you had so much dialogue in this chapter, and I don't think you'll be upset at me repeating my opinion about you being a great dialogue writer. Not to say that you're perfect, but you write darn good dialogue most of the time.

Al is whiny and annoying. I have to say I'm laughing AT him, rather than WITH him (I'm cruel, I know . . . but I have a niggling suspicion that you would sort of like us to laugh at poor Al).

Anyway, the verdict? Thumbs up for this chapter. Still seems like something I could only tolerate for short periods of time, but during those short periods, I'd be amused.

By the way, I've always wondered how people managed to type those heart things. How dare you taunt me by showing off that you know how?!

Author's Response: I'll teach you & h e a r t s ; - remove the spaces and you are well on your way to being able to SHOW people you love them.

Mhm.

And I've found the perfect defense for me not writing quickly! ATAS - wrote 80 in a month and THEN what? We've had since July and we're 40 past. Ergh. Oh well - chapter 28's almost done.

But enough of that! Onto the review. And first thing's first. James and Freddie HADN'T actually drank anything. They were being idiots. *sigh* Still no faith in me.

Chris is gross. I'll hand you that. Lily dating him = rather weird. You would take a shot at my Irish. Oh well, I'll just take that one. And easy on the tootsie rolls, they aren't going to get you out of everything! *grumble*

At least you thought he was decent right?

And you should be laughing at Al, I'm glad you at least . . . and you kind of thought that was supposed to be the reaction.

I'm trying to figure out where exactly the compliment is in there 'still seems like something I could tolerate for short periods of time' - oh well.

Be thankful you didn't have to real Selah Saterstrom or Padgett Powell with dialogue. He just uses dashes with no qualifier and she does it on different pages. I'm doing you a favor at least giving you some hints on who's talking with James and Fred - but I kind of figured they were interchangeable anyways . . .

I'll take the thumbs up and leave now, before I ramble anymore . . . ♥


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Review #5, by Alopex To Be Introduced, Sort Of

16th April 2010:
Good grief! You've posted six chapters in under a month? Seriously, that's amazing. And where did all the new stuff on your author page come from? Oi. *adds to "to read someday" list* It's no wonder you found your grades slipping this semester. Do you ever do anything BUT write? (Do you have any idea how amazed I am at your output? I still can't get over the fact that you wrote 80K words of ATAS in a month. That's just ridiculous and super-human.)

Oh, right. I suppose I ought to go and actually read this chapter now. dot dot dot as time elapses as Alopex reads. Ok, done! That was quick!

I gotta agree with Scorpius. That was weird. What WAS that, anyway?

You asked me if I thought the comedy was over the top. Yes, I do think so. Now, I believe I've made it clear that I think you're a funny guy. I usually enjoy your humor. You crack me up a lot. But this just made me want to run away. Seriously. Fred and James at the beginning? That was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read, and the sad thing is, I can picture a bunch of stupid guys hanging around doing and saying stuff like that. Or almost like that. Maybe less stupid. (No, I'm kidding myself. Never underestimate the stupidity of the general public, especially when teenage boys are involved . . . no offense to you personally.)

Point being, I didn't particularly care for it. You are funny, but here you sounded like you were trying too hard. It was to the point where I didn't find it funny anymore. It was like some kind of gag show.

However. The last bit, the part between Scorp and Al, was better, in my opinion. You dropped the over-wrought "humor," and while it was still, as you said, melodramatic, it felt more honest. Does that make sense?

Tail chasing? Interesting word choice. That one did make me chuckle. So did basically everything Scorpius said and did.

I really need to get you some flowers now after this review. I probably need to up the ante and send chocolates too. Or tootsie rolls at the very least. Do you like tootsie rolls?

Author's Response: Nah, don't worry - I've thought SNL was trying too hard for the past few years. This story IS trying too hard. I didn't particular think you'd like this fic. It's too low brow. You have an erudite taste in comedy, I think (XD)

I LOVE tootsie rolls!

The point of this fic IS that it's over the top. *sigh* Apop has no faith in me. And yes, teenage boys can be very, very stupid when they get together. I, for one, can think of a few things that I have done personally that should not really be talked about in a public forum and I'll probably try to block out in the future so I am not mortified.

If that makes sense.

I do think I like this story more than LCBS. I really think I want to completely rewrite that - maybe take it in another direction - tone it down and lower the main character count - SOMETHING - but this! Is quick, is easy, and is rather fun, once you get going a bit.

Also - I resent that! My grades . . . well, I don't THINK they've been slipping because of writing. This is only 900 words Apop! I sat down in one go and wrote this six chapters.

And! I think they're for a, cough cough, younger audience. One less hardened by the rugged Westerns humor and one more in tune with . . . well, SNL ;)

And I think beside the James and Freddie bit (which are a few readers favorite bits I'll have you know) I liked this chapter as well. My Scorpius has more depth than Albus. The little stinker.

Anyways, just woke up - totally stoked to see your review (at this point it's not even like 'oh no, she didn't like it' - it's more 'it wasn't to her taste' - So I'm rather okay. I know you mean well and generally know what you are talking about). And still stoked. Although that might be the four hours of sleep. I have to pick classes.

Though that's kind of off topic. One minute! Gotta go, sorry to rant your ear off, but you know how people can get when they're . . . what was the word? Slap happy?

Anyways, thank you so much for the thoughts Apop, they mean the world to me! Watch this! I know how to . . . ♥ - there!


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Review #6, by Capella Black Don't Push Me, I'm Emotional

10th April 2010:
Well, "I can't" is certainly better than "no", but now I need to know what happens next! Seriously. Not sure if there is going to be more, but I hope so!

Really like the way this chapter rounds off what's happened prior to it - giving us the back story and adding a touch of pathos to it all.

Oh, btw, the third last paragraph says "all about what happen" - pretty sure you mean "happened". And why was it his fault he'd be forced to relive the moment? Or will this be explained next?

Overall very pleased you called me over. Good story, good fun, good night!

Author's Response: There is more, I can promise. Just got inspiration to push through the little road block I had hit in this story. And as soon as I eat I have intentions of writing more.

He's realizing that he's making a bigger deal of this whole thing than he should be -thus it is his fault everyone keeps talking about it. And thanks again for the grammar check!

I'm glad you were pleased with this. Kind of an innocent little story, but easy to get invested in, I think.

Thank you again for your reviews Capella. I appreciate them!


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Review #7, by Capella Black Listen To Me, Won't You

10th April 2010:
Yay! Yet more of the Weasley clan, and impressively you're still managing to portray unique characters despite the brevity of the encounters.

Forgot to say earlier, but I also really like the way you start each chapter, putting a new spin on the same repeated phrase. That kind of device can really ruin a piece if done badly, but yours is just right.

Favourite line - "I'm in the fifth circle of hell, actually. I'll owl you when I hit seven, all right?" I want this line in my fics. I will actually be using this line in my RL!

Am off to find out what Peeves is up to!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the parts with the Weasley's in it! And yeah, I'll have you know unique characters's my forte XD

I'm glad you like the way I use the 'horrid' moniker.

I kind of like that line as well.

Peeves kind of goes on hiatus for just a little while. But his return is triumphant, I can promise!


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Review #8, by Capella Black You're Just Right, Al Potter

10th April 2010:
Am now also loving your Scorpius. Which is annoying, as I spend six months writing my own one! Just LOL-ing all over the place.

Quick question though... 'shared each other tear stridden letters' - huh? Could be either 'shared with each other' or 'shared each other's', but as written, it didn't make sense to me. Of course, I am fully willing to accept that it is me misreading it.

Seriously though, this is going in my favourites for sure - it is the perfect melodramatic boy romance comedy (yes, that's a genre!)

Author's Response: I do like your Scorpius as well. A lot more going on underneath than mine appears to be.

It should definitely be reworded. I wrote this fic in a day . . . so it's kind of lackadaisical on the editing - I mean, I went through once really quickly so nothing glaring seeped through. I need to go back and sift for the other possible mistakes.

I quite like that genre! Melodramatic boy romance comedy XD

Thank you again Capella!


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Review #9, by Capella Black Just Give Up, I'm Serious

10th April 2010:
Again, this chapter has been bad for me in terms of convincing my house-mates that I'm sane. I LOVE James and Fred. Truly, they should be exactly like this in every fic ever written.

One tiny thing; shouldn't "...Do you!", be "...Do you?!"

Wish I could give more con-crit, as you asked, but I really don't have any - this hits what you seem to be aiming for perfectly! Off to read more, 'cause it's awesome!

Author's Response: Ah, Capella - good to see you!

(see what I did there? XD)

Anyways! Good thing you like Fred and George. I'm so glad you liked it! Non-crit hit is at least an ego booster, right? I'll take that for what I can.

JD


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Review #10, by Capella Black To Be Introduced, Sort Of

10th April 2010:
"Dunno - but it kind of ran together - now listen!" - actually did LOL at that, which now means that my landlord thinks I'm crazy.

Overall highly amusing, and it sets a good scene. Also loving the whole 'unsupportive relatives' thing - always fair, but particularly so when related to the Weasleys!

Author's Response: Hi Capella! Thank you for these reviews!

I'm glad I was able to make you laugh out loud - this was a comedy, but I'm surprised that line's been getting the best response. Oh well.

Good thing you liked it! ;) haha thank you again for this review.


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Review #11, by Jane_Volturi To Be Introduced, Sort Of

7th April 2010:
Hi, this is JaneTwilight here from the forums with your review for this story, I'm currently extremely busy at the moment so I'll only have time to review one chapter of this story. If I wasn't so busy I would have reviewed all six. You should re request this in the future though, I'd be happy to continue reading this fanfiction.

I'll begin with characterization.

Firstly, Scorpius. I don't know why I decided to begin with him, he just really stoos out to me above all of the other characters involved in this chapter. He's so unlike how other people usually portray him to be. He isn't this cliche pushover with a soft-heart, he comes across as more thick-skinned with a different perspective on love and the seriousness involved in it. Overall he seemed like avery wise friend figure, only ever so slightly unsympathetic, sure, Albus is being a littl melodramatic which he did point out, but he still carried out a very original response to the matter. Good job.

Albus was very funny in this chapter. His heartbreak came across as more humerous than something you'dpity. I wanted to laugh, especially when the others expressed their views on his situation. James for example, I simply loved him, hilarious! again, he has been characterized very differntly to how everybody else tends to portray him. He's a lot more funnier.

I take it you were aiming for humor in this story? Honestly, you definitley succeeded with that. You really connected with the behavior of teenage boys Scorpius and Al's age, it was highly realistic and funny so great job there.

I didn't really spot any mistakes, then again i didn't check it thoroughly but nothing stood out which is a good thing. You have a very good writing style and I really enjoyed reading this. It was very different to anything I've really ever read before and i loved your characterization of these Next Generation characters.

I couldn't spot any flaws whatsoever so I'm going to give this a 10/10!

Jane_Volturi

Author's Response: Hi Jane! Thanks for the review. And that's quite all right - you are doing me a favor after all!

And I shall rerequest (on this pasture we call it 'favor lurking' - but I'll let it slide this one) when you get some more free time. Might as well let some other people get in a few requests in the meantime.

My Scorpius seems to be a fanon breaker! Yay! That makes me stoked. I never really thought about how Scorpius might behave.

haha - and that's kind of key. Al's melodramatic responses. To the jokes I mean. And the kind of character I'm trying to create, but at least it came through in the writing.

I'm glad you at least at the urge to laugh at his reactions - and James as well. I feel totally warm for being able to breathe a breath of fresh air into those characters. (Not that that's what you're sayin)

I definitely was - this is a parody of 'angsty' romance fics. You know how it is XD

I'll take that as a compliment. I'm thankful you didn't check to thoroughly for errors - as I'm sure there are some SOMEwhere. I'm never perfect (it drives me bonkers)

Thank you for the review Jane! Seriously! ^.^


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Review #12, by alyosha To Be Introduced, Sort Of

28th March 2010:
This is like a play.

We had to use a gyroscope in physics once. *involuntary shudder*

I realise this review isn't worth the paper it isn't printed on, but I simply wished to inform you that i had read this.

Author's Response: Nah man, makes me feel special that you read probably the worst representation of my writing and its style.

And yeah, kind of is like a play, isn't it?

Sorry about the gyroscope man - I had a little toy one when I was but a wee lad, and I remember it fondly . . . so yeah . . .


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Review #13, by ochalke5 You're Just Right, Al Potter

27th March 2010:
It's a fun read, and an interesting story. I can't wait to see where you take it. Great work.
Natalie

Author's Response: Thank you for the review Natalie! Yeah, not the most compelling story, emotionally, but you're right - it's a fun read's all. And you like it! So I've done my job!

Jackson


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Review #14, by dracos_hotter To Be Introduced, Sort Of

27th March 2010:
Ha. Melodrama. Always funny...

Oh, hi there! This is me doing your review =) Sorry for the wait, but I have been busy for once. *looks shocked*

"doesn't me I agree with you" Uh... I don't think you meant that. I don't me to be picky, but what did you me? Did you me mean?

I have absolutely no idea how much James and Fred had to drink, but they are so damn confusing! Especially at the start when there's trouble keeping my small brain up with who's talking. I had to read that piece a few times before I fully comprehended who was talking =S

Lei. Interesting name you chose, there. I Googled it: it means flower bud, apparently.

So Scorpius is in Gryffindor, then? I'm assuming so, unless James and Fred have invaded someone else's house. Interesting twist. Go Scorp! Be the blunt one!

...It's certainly an interesting plot you've got going here. I wish you luck with the challenge =)

xE

Author's Response: haha that made me laugh! Dang it, I swear I proof read this thoroughly (it's only like 800 words - it should be easy!)

Doesn't me I agree with you - oi.

And the boys haven't had a single thing to drink, which is the point kinda. Sorry it was a bit confusing, that's a bit my fault (and the way it was written - kind of firing off of words so fast even Al's head was spinning).

haha, and the wait time for the review is totally fine! I didn't mind at all!

Thanks for the review! I enjoyed it. I'll definitely fix that typo.

Cheers,
Jackson


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Review #15, by hushpuppy You're Just Right, Al Potter

26th March 2010:
This story has just the right amount of melodrama. Plus now that Lei's cried over a dead plant, I'm convinced that she deserves Al and vice versa. No one else should be tortured with them ;-)

Author's Response: I pretty much agree! They're so perfect. But in being perfect for one another, well, they aren't together YET, are they?

haha, I'm glad you are liking it though!

Thank you so much for the review.


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Review #16, by wolverine83 You're Just Right, Al Potter

26th March 2010:
Interesting idea for a story and I find myself really liking it so far, I wish you might include some interaction between Lei and Albus soon, I was bummed there wasn't any in this chapter with the way the previous chapter ended. Anyways, I'm looking forward to reading more. I hope you can update soon.

Author's Response: Yeah, I kind of intended to put that little ray of hope under you for you to stand on - then, well, why not pull it out from under and see your reaction?

Sorry it was negative, but at least you were looking forward to seeing them talk! (I kind of figured the reaction'd be negative, but . . . well, you know?)

Anyways, next chapter should be up tomorrow. Days like this I wish I was a trusted author. I'd have this whole posted within an hour! Oh well . . .
Jackson! (thanks for the revieww!)


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Review #17, by nextgenoration Just Give Up, I'm Serious

24th March 2010:
Jackson!

Right-o. SO, I really, really love this. It's great. Honestly. I can't believe this is the first of your writing I've read but I've gotta say it's fantastic. I love the banters back and forth 'tween Freddie and James -- it's absolutely brilliant. Really.

Al is cute, too. Especially with all the little gestures and motions and facial expressions you weave in throw out. Truly humourous. I mean it. I especially liked when his chest was heaving at the end. Hilarious mental image right there.

Fantastic job and I cannot wait for the next chapter!

ash xx

Author's Response: Ash!

I'm glad you like Freddie and James. I don't want to over do them so early in the story (I honestly have no idea how many chapters this might have, probably until I hit an impasse and the story falls into place), but two chapters in is kind of early anyways, so they'll be on a little bit of a hiatus, but I'm glad you liked it.

Dunno why I went on about the two of them like that, but . . . well, moving on!

I'm glad you like little Al (They're in 5th year, but still, he's a little guy, so cute and outraged) as well.

I'm also ecstatic that you continued to like it. I'll put up Chapter Three as soon as possible,

Jackson!


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Review #18, by nextgenoration To Be Introduced, Sort Of

23rd March 2010:
Hi Jackson!

When I saw your comment on my challenge that your story was up I nearly went insane with excitement. I have been dying to get news of a chapter for my challenge. And I gotta say that I was glad it was yours!

About the chapter: not only did I think it was VERY humourous and intelligent, but I also was thrilled to see how much of a risk you took with this! You really made it creative! I know you aren't a fan of romances, so you gotta admire the work you've done. It was top notch, really good. And I actually really liked how you had Scorpius as more of the main character. It was really creative; I would've never thought to do that.

I love the mention of the gyroscope! Hahaha! I don't why but that whole mini side banter was really funny - like something you'd seen in a TV show or the like. I think you did a REALLY good job so far with my challenge, Jackson! I can't wait to see the next chapters. Just post in my thread when you have more up! This is really something I'd like to read more of!

cheers, ash

Author's Response: Hullo Ash! Thanks for the review, I'm glad I did a good job on your challenge.

I do hope that more people write their stories soon. To respond to the first paragraph: I'm glad your glad.

Whew. (That was we wiping worry and anxiety from my brow) I'm supremely pleased you enjoyed it. Couldn't explain my relief. And man I can't tell you how worried I am now that the next few chapters aren't going to be up to snuff to the first one and everything.

But oh well. It's posted (will be in . . . well, 5 hours?) now, so it should be ready for critique rather soonish.

Yes, Scorpius had the semi-focus of the first chapter, very true, but that isn't to say this is not through and through Al's story. Poor Ally . . . but thank you for the pleasant compliments.

And I'll definitely post as the new chapters come up. Hopefully they're be two more up within the next few days.

Cheers!
Jackson


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