127 Reviews Found

Review #1, by gg Chapter Seventeen: To Fight, Perchance to Win

20th February 2017:
Good great with creativity filled with it. Also a new angle to it

 Report Review

Review #2, by Ravenclaw Chapter 3: In to the Light

25th October 2015:
Bro, do you even english?

Author's Response: How about you?

 Report Review

Review #3, by Deepak Epilogue:

15th June 2013:
good job I think..grammar and spelling are a little off.. but thanks

 Report Review

Review #4, by Ms Ginevra Chapter 26: The Last Enemy to Conquer

5th June 2013:
MUSHY?! C'mon, it was probably the best chapter yet!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Ms Ginevra Chapter 4: Perilous Journey

31st March 2013:
I have an idea about who his Lady was . . . I think we all do, yes? IT'S ME!!! Note that my name is Ms Ginevra...

 Report Review

Review #6, by Ms Ginevra Chapter 3: In to the Light

31st March 2013:
Dumbledore's right, always, even if he can be a bit cuckoo. "Love is the greatest power", or something like that...

 Report Review

Review #7, by PotatoLord Chapter 4: Perilous Journey

2nd March 2012:
Good, but I think you kind overloaded too much info into one chapter, and Bill and Ron? I was having some trouble seeing the two of them full on assaulting Harry, for whatever reason, after all he's done for the wizarding world

Author's Response: Thanks for R and R. Hopefully, you'll like the rest of the story. A few more chapter and I am sure you'll understand Ron and Bill's motivation

 Report Review

Review #8, by Zulu Chapter 6: Signs of Things to Come

7th February 2012:
You really need to work on your grammer, it is really atrocious. The plot is the only thing that is keeping me reading right now; it is very intreging, and it seems like a promising book.

Author's Response: I'm in my fourth book right now.Please the other stories as well and let me know if I have improved my grammar. Thanks for the R and R. and a big thanks for liking the plot :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by Sabya Sachi Chapter 3: In to the Light

28th December 2011:
the story line seems to be good but u really need to work on the grammar..

Author's Response: Thanks. Hopefully I will find time to go back to this story and proofread it : )

 Report Review

Review #10, by BethanyRose Chapter 3: In to the Light

8th October 2011:
This is really good but you keep switching between past and present tense which makes it a little hard to understand :)

Author's Response: Thanks. And sorry about the tenses. trying to improve as i write more :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by TeddyLupinPotter Chapter 26: The Last Enemy to Conquer

27th September 2011:
Loved this chapter!
But you made a mistake;You called Teddy's grandmother Narcissa, when her name is Andromeda.
But apart from that it was brilliant!!

Author's Response: Yes, actually i noticed that myself when I was rereading my original transcript of the story. I just haven't had a time to correct since I'm a little bit focused right now in finishing my current story: The Wrath of Gryffindor

Thanks for pointing it out :)

 Report Review

Review #12, by snape_call911 Epilogue:

9th September 2011:
it was a great story.liked it very much.. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much. Hope you try my other stories as well :)

 Report Review

Review #13, by JLA1053 Epilogue:

27th August 2011:
I really enjoyed this story. Looking Forward to continue. I like how the suspense built for the last 6 or so chapters in such a way that I had to keep reading til I met the end.
I like the action ,but I also like the interaction of the charaters and the story about them in there everyday life.

My biggest complaint is not enough Hermione. She is my favorite and any additional details about her are always welcome

Author's Response: Thanks for the R and R. Hope you like the succeeding stories as well

 Report Review

Review #14, by JLA1053 Epilogue:

27th August 2011:
I really enjoyed this story. Looking Forward to continue. I like how the suspense built for the last 6 or so chapters in such a way that I had to keep reading til I met the end.
I like the action ,but I also like the interaction of the charaters and the story about them in there everyday life.

My biggest complaint is not enough Hermione. She is my favorite and any additional details about her are always welcome

Author's Response: Thanks a lot. I did put a lot of thinking on this story... Hope you like book 2 too.

Hermione is a great character. I love her and she is such an interesting subject to write. It is just that this story was all about Harry and Ginny. I'll try to give her more focus on the succeeding stories :0

Thanks for the R and R.

 Report Review

Review #15, by JLA1053 Chapter 4: Perilous Journey

24th August 2011:
I'm hooked. Such an imaginative tale.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. Please try also Book 2 to 4 which is out now :)

 Report Review

Review #16, by itsnotimp. Epilogue:

16th August 2011:

Author's Response: Thank you very much for liking my story. enjoy reading the next one :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by Miranda Jones Epilogue:

8th August 2011:
That was.interesting. :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot of R and R.

Please check my other fanfic. They are a continuation of this story

 Report Review

Review #18, by thetrueauror Epilogue:

6th July 2011:
This was by far the best I have read on this site, the most original. I couldn't stop reading it and I can't wait to continue

Author's Response: Thank you. I am humbled by your review. You may also check my other stories: Ravenclaw Progeny and the Hufflepuff Covenant. The yare the continuation of the legacy of Slytherin.

Thanks again =)

 Report Review

Review #19, by gbartkiv Epilogue:

25th March 2011:
i have two different emotions for this novel. first: it was bloody brilliant!!! i loved the story and it was well thought out. interesting at all parts and hard to stop reading XD second: the grammar was a bit off so it was annoying at some points. overall definitely a 9.5 out of 10 in my opinion for all the great work =D

Author's Response: thanks for the review and for enjoying the story :)

 Report Review

Review #20, by Quartz Causey Chapter 4: Perilous Journey

16th March 2011:
This is a fairly good story in my opinion, but you really need to get a beta. You have the tenses all mixed up. Otherwise, it seems a pretty good story so far.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. :)

 Report Review

Review #21, by Victoria LH Epilogue:

18th February 2011:

Author's Response: Thanks :) Hope you enjoy the sequel too, The Ravenclaw Progeny :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by Jacob Murphy Epilogue:

17th February 2011:

Author's Response: Thank you :) Please try reading the sequel, The Ravenclaw Progeny.

Thanks again

 Report Review

Review #23, by Atomic01 Epilogue:

10th February 2011:

I've just read this story as complete, and would like to mention a couple of things.

I do like the way you developed the characters, and managed to keep Harry from becoming the "all powerful" stereotype that we read so often. On the whole, I enjoyed it.

My main CC on this story is the way the tenses are confused - you move from present tense, to past tense, and back to present tense quite a lot, which disrupts the flow of the story and makes it more difficult for a reader to follow. There are small grammatical and spelling issues, as well as some canon mistakes (Teddy's grandmother was Andromeda, not Narcissa, for example). As I said, these are only small things, but again, they make the story more difficult to read.

That said, I do love the concept and the idea, very original and quite different from anything I've read for a long while. My advise for your next story would be simply to get a good Beta who will be able to help sort out the grammatical/canon errors.

Other than that, good story, and I'll look forward to your next one :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading my story and I truly appreciate the CC.

I am working on your comments and hopefully will lessen such errors in my next story.

I have already started on my next story: The Ravenclaw Progeny. I hope you read it as well.

Looking forward to hearing from you again


 Report Review

Review #24, by David Epilogue:

24th January 2011:
Just wondering: do you also post on FanFiction dot net , using the pen name
the most magical jordan
with author url at
www dot fanfiction dot net/u/2696530/the_most_magical_jordan
? Because this exact story is currently being posted there up through chapter 10. (With all the same typos and grammar errors.) And if you didn't post it, then they are plagiarizing it.
The story appears under the url
www dot fanfiction dot net/s/6651834/1/harry_potter_and_the_legacy_of_slytherin
(Remove the spaces and replace the dots with .)
Just thought you'd want to know if it wasn't you posting it.
Best wishes,

Author's Response: Thanks for the information.

I only have one penname: HarryGinny05 and I only post in this site.

 Report Review

Review #25, by ltdead Epilogue:

9th January 2011:
Hello. I wanted to give you an honest review of your story - which means you probably won't enjoy everything I have to say.

First off - I did enjoy the story. I take guilty pleasure in reading angsty stuff, so the idea of the Weasleys turning 'to the darkside' as it were, is the sort of thing that appeals to me. So I rather enjoyed the overall plotline.

However, I found that there were some spelling errors (for example, you call the Malfoys 'Malfroy' throughout the story), and more importantly, grammatical errors. You seem to struggle with verb conjugation and tenses. For example, this sentence from Chapter 2: "The reporters have already got a whiff of Harry’s return and just minutes they have arrive at St. Mungo’s, the sharks started to swarm," should be something more like, "The reporters had already gotten a whiff of Harry's return and in just minutes arrived at St. Mungo's, swarming like sharks." (The previous sentence was in the past tense, so using 'have already got' instead of 'had already gotten' was switching tenses, and very awkward. 'They have arrive' is grammatically incorrect, and 'the sharks started to swarm' is its own sentence and shouldn't be connected to the previous sentence with a comma). I could draw examples of grammatically incorrect or merely awkward sentences from each chapter.

I also felt that, at times, you took some things a bit far. Harry is already a bit of a 'MarySue' character in JK Rowling's books, and you turn him into something nearly all-powerful and unbeatable. It takes some of the danger and immediacy out of the story when Harry suddenly has all these amazing powers that no one else possesses. You even had, in one chapter, a character throw and arrow through someone's eye and kill them. That's rather over-the-top, unrealistic, and unnecessary. I think it would be, overall, a better story if you toned these things down.

I also felt that some of the 'twists' in the story were predictable (namely, that Albert was the horcrux, and that the horcrux was Slytherin, or that Ginny was the woman that Harry loved in the future, and allowed to Imperius him). This, however, is probably the most difficult problem to fix and master, and is certainly not one of my greater skills.

All in all, I think your writing shows promise, with your greatest skill being crafting an enjoyable plot-line, but it could be greatly improved by just a few proof-readers to help you correct grammatical errors. Goodluck, and keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading my story and thank you very much for an honest review.

I already uploaded the sequel to the story and I hope you read it as well. I'll be looking forward to hear from you.

As for the grammatical error, rest assured that I'll be trying to avoid them in my future story.

As for Harry's being all powerful, I just thought he needs to be one with all the angst and horror that surrounds his life. Don't worry though, he up for some whoop-kicking in the sequel. I believe that no matter how powerful a wizard could get, there would always be someone who is more powerful and invincible that him.

Thanks again :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>