Reading Reviews for Secretive
  
67 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Singularity Stolen Secret

8th September 2011:
Aww, I was flipping through some of my old reviews and decided to check out this story again. I'm really sad that you've decided to abandon it. I think it had a lot of promise and I was really excited to see where it was going.

Oh well, I know that's how the plot bunnies/muses work sometimes. I'm glad that (as you wrote in your a/n) you learned what you needed to from this story. That doesn't stop me from hoping that some day you'll come back to it, though :P

I loved reading the flying lessons part. It was absolutely hilarious! Poor Sammy is obviously not a natural flyer. It kind of makes me wonder how good old Voldy was on a broomstick. Plot bunny? I think so :P Flying lessons in canon always seemed so silly to me. They have like one half hour lesson, then it's never mentioned again. Oh well, it makes for great reading. :)

I really liked the way you wrote Victoire and Teddy flying as well. I would think that Teddy would be pretty average at flying (as you wrote) since he would probably have some of his mother's natural clumsiness, but would also have received some lessons from Harry, I'd imagine which would counteract that. And of course Fleur's daughter would be graceful :)

Man, what a terrible cliffhanger to leave the story at!!! I'll just have to invent my own ending...like how about: Everyone finds out Sammy is Voldemort's daughter. Teddy and Victoire get mad and stop talking to her, but then Harry comes by and tells them they're being ridiculous, so they decide to be her friend again. Everyone hugs and they all live happily ever after. The end :) What do you think? I love me a happy ending ;)

Anyway, thanks for sharing this story. I really enjoyed it while it lasted. Best of luck in your future writing endeavors. I'll have to check out some of your other stories sometime. :)

~Singularity

Author's Response: Ahh I'm so late at responding D:

I may come back to it once my muse comes back, but sadly, it's MIA right now and has been for a while. If I could just--borrow a little of yours--what? No? Well... never mind then...

Sammy has some things she's good at, but flying is not one of them. (Neither is social interaction.) I can't imagine old Voldy on a broomstick. I can't even imagine him wearing pants, just that swoopy black robe he always dons. Its swooping is extra swoopy and makes for a very melodramatic twirly motion.

Flying lessons in the books made me laugh. I mean, Madame Hooch was there, and then it was like POOF GONE WHERE DID SHE GO?!? She was really short so... maybe she decided to join the hobbits in Lord of the Rings! *crosses fingers* It's time for some Frodo/Hooch fanfics, guys. (If I wrote LotR fanfics, that is.)

I thought flying would be something like regular sports. You have the people who stink--Sammy--the people who have coaching but not a ton of natural talent--Teddy--and the people who are supermegafoxyawesomehot--Victoire. But Victoire DOES have flaws. *nodnod* Like... um... being... flawed...

Argh I need to give her some flaws. *puts on thinking cap* She's COWARDLY. Like if a snitch was flying towards her face, she'd shriek and bat it away. And she's slightly vain. It's a cliche but it makes SENSE.

Yes yes yes YOU GOT IT COMPLETELY RIGHT. (Not really.) If you really really want to find out what happens, PM me on the forums and I'll explain to you in my muse-less drawl-y way. If you're happy making up your own little muse-ful un-drawl-y ending, go ahead! You can even send it to me and I can post it on here and pretend I wrote it. Except not because I'm pretty sure that's against the TOS.

YES PLEASE CHECK OUT MY ONE-SHOTS!!! *gets on knees and begs* THEY'RE SHORT AND THEY WOULD LIKE REVIEWS AND I LIKE THEM SO I THINK YOU WILL TOO!

... aaand caps lock off. I think this is the longest response I've ever written.

Thank you so so much for the review!! :D


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Review #2, by colleenilinguini Stolen Secret

31st July 2011:
I can't believe you're ending it! I just found it today and I love it! Please reconsider! Take a break from it and come back at some point?

Author's Response: I'll definitely consider coming back to it once my muse comes back!! :)

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Review #3, by CharcoalDust Stolen Secret

11th March 2011:
Aw... you're abandoning it? Ah well - what must be done must be done. I have to say, though, this is superbly written!!
Grr... Garrett and Medea... how I love to hate them :)

Good luck in the future!

Author's Response: Afraid I am, dahling : I may come back and add the last chapters when I have time, though, just so I really get closure.

Thank you for the review, so so so so much!


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Review #4, by Capella Black Stolen Secret

10th February 2011:
WHAT!!! You're abadoning? Hmm, well then I better head over to your MTA page, cause I need to know what you'd planned to have happen!

Anyways, the chapter itself was brilliant - a perfect combination of sweet and light, with dark and edgy. Sammy is just brilliant, and I love how the flying lesson wasn't a trio of perfection. Also "the other left" - nicely used!

Sad Ella, off to ask questions...

Author's Response: I may come back to this, just to finish it up, but for now it's abandoned. I'll PM you if I ever feel the sudden urge to write this again :)

Thank you!! I love your reviews. Hope to see you again, Ella!


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Review #5, by justonemorefic An Unceremonious Arrival

4th February 2011:
Baww, I love the first-day-at-Hogwarts scenes. The ickle kids! I like how you portray her nervousness and shyness. She also doesn't seem to know very much about the magical word; a bit sheltered, no? Teddy and Victoire are adorable too, especially metamorphosing Teddy. Hee, imagining him with blue hair, green handlebar mustache, and red nose.

The beginning narrator doesn't quite match the point of view you have in the rest of the chapter though; it meshes a bit oddly. You might want to take a look at that.

Cute! :)

Author's Response: I just find first years adorable :) Especially Teddy. Him I just find interesting...

Thank you SO MUCH for your feedback!! I'll definitely take a look at that. I wrote the first part in longhand, which is probably why.

Thank you for the review!!! :)


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Review #6, by silver_cloak Stolen Secret

29th January 2011:
AH I LOVE YOU

Need I say more? Yes. I love your story too!

3,456,784,940,683,546,830,231,242,140.17655/10

Tell me if anyone tops that rating and I will try to beat it. :D

Author's Response: I just floundered around the internet muttering ZOMG HOW CAN YOU REVIEW TWICE and then I realize that you technically weren't on your account.

TOLD you I'd give you a shoutout. You deserve it. Your rating system makes me very happy :)


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Review #7, by lilypotterfan123 Stolen Secret

16th January 2011:
YAY! Sorry about that I got a bit over excited because this is the first of my favourited stories that have been updated since the queues reopened and this story has another chapter! I love this story to pieces! I love how it reminds me so much of COS because of the missing diary and the brilliant depth and description it has! A shriek pierced the air. That was my favourite line of all I was so intrigued because of the suspension that one sentence brings! It doesn't really matter about how long you take to update because the quality of the writing makes up for it! However I shall help myself to an apology cookie anyway :)

LpF123 xx

Author's Response: YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE EXCITED! Thank you so much for loving my story even though I, um, updated kind of late... :P

I just love you for the review !!! :)


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Review #8, by silver_cloak Stolen Secret

16th January 2011:
YES you updated!! Oh I forgot how much I love this story. Well, I REALLY REALLY REALLY love this story! If you ever take this long again there will be dire consequences.
I know Hodge is just a little comic-relief character, but I love him. He's great. "The OTHER right, Hodge!" that's like what my mother yells at me, since I am sort of a failure about right and left.
Oh no! That evil Medea. How can an eleven year old be so vicious? Was she starved as a child? Does SHE have any secrets of her own? Oh my. I am bubbling with joy and anticipation.
One billion out of ten. This was divine. Love ya!

Author's Response: *hides*

Aaah, Hodge. I love him. I think I'll stick him in there more often, he was fun to write.

And MEDEA. Silly girl. I think she's just a randomly vicious person. And she just doesn't like Sammy. :P

Love ya too!! Thanks so much for the review!!

P.S. I'LL CATCH UP ON MY REVIEWS FOR VIVIENNE I SWEAR.


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Review #9, by irrelevant Stolen Secret

16th January 2011:
oooh cliffie... I hope you'll update soon, I'm really interested!

Author's Response: Thanks!! I hope I'll update soon too :P

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Review #10, by Reuben Known

27th August 2010:
Hi! So, I've been meaning to read and review this ever since I saw your post in the forum, because the idea of Voldy having a daughter is one of my favorites :) So far I'm enjoying your story a lot.

I have got one thing to point out-when you do a segment from Garrett's POV, I'm assuming his father's death messed him up and that's why he thinks as he does. I'd suggest that you're careful and make sure he still sounds like an eleven year old... if that makes sense?

Hmmm... who is Sammy's mother... I would say Bellatrix, but that seems too obvious. Let's see, now... Sammy would have been conceived in the year of DH, yeah? I'll have to think about this more ^_^

Author's Response: Yay!! Thank you:)

I'll keep your advice in mind. Garrett really became more than I planned him to be, so thank you SO MUCH for the advice!!!

Thank you so much (again) for the review!!! --L


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Review #11, by Capella Black Known

15th August 2010:
OK, wow! This is definitely my favourite chapter so far. Now I know that all the teachers already knew about her name, the lack of commenting makes more sense - I guess eleven year olds can't be expected to just put it together, and most the older kids wouldn't know her surname in the first place. Nice bit of detail there - it really solidifies the story concept.

My favourite part has got to be when her and Victoire are practising Protego - the description of her sensations as she taps into her abilities was really powerful, giving just a hint of darkness to an otherwise sweet and lovely character. And I love that you then connected with that, and so had her snapping out of it and trying to help her friend. It made the whole thing much more real, and amazingly much more disturbing at the same time. I really feel for little Sammy - she already had a ton on her plate, and now there's this too?!

Finally, the opening scene was fantastic. The way you slowly described the boy's thoughts and feelings was really intriguing, particularly as you only revealed his identity bit by bit. Awesome, and amazingly taking this story even further, which I didn't see coming, given how much I liked the first few chapters.

Challenge notwithstanding, I'm generally not big on reviewing at the moment, but please drop me a note when this is updated anyway, and I'll try and drop in with my two cents!

Author's Response: Ooh, yay! Thank you so much for dropping by.

... Hey, you're right about the surname thing!! *cough cough* That's, erm, what I was thinking. Pshh.

I figured that Sammy would have inherited that sort of darkness from her parents, despite her being so nice. I thought that it would pop up whenever she felt powerful.

Thank you!!! Garrett started out as sort of a mystery to me. I really didn't expect for him to become such a main character--he had a role to play and I needed him to play it. My earlier versions of the story didn't even have him. I guess he just grew on his own:)

Thanks for the review!!! --L


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Review #12, by Charcoal Dust Known

23rd July 2010:
Wow! I was waiting so eagerly for this chapter, and I have to say it was worth the wait. The beginning was great, plenty of detail and emotion. Love Garrett, he's such a great character! Keep writing!

Author's Response: Well, thank you! That is such a nice review. Garrett is one of my favorite characters too, he's evolved into a more complex person than I originally had planned:) Thanks again for the review!!!

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Review #13, by lovetobeginny Suspected

14th July 2010:
ok i know the other chapter are up but i will guess her mom is bellatrix (is that how u spell it?)

Author's Response: Hmm... another Bellatrix-fan... Thanks so much for the review!!!

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Review #14, by DracoFerret11 Known

11th July 2010:
Hey, it's DarkRose. :]

Another great chapter! :D This one really delved into the main conflict which is good. I liked that you did bring her better-than-average powers to the attention of the readers. By addressing it, you show that there's a reason for it and Sammy's not just a perfect Mary-Sue.

I really enjoyed the line, "You have to learn that you are not your parents, girl. Otherwise, you'll never really be able to live." I think it's really going to be Sammy's main internal conflict. That's cool that it was stated that way.

I like your characterization of Professor Seward too. And of course of Teddy and Victoire. :] And your current villians? Medea and Garrett? CREEPERS! :o Which is a good thing, hahaha.

Really good job, you're evolving with the story. Keep it up.

--DracoFerret11/DarkRose

Author's Response: Hey!!! Sorry I'm late, I was at sleepaway camp:)

Thank you! I try to make Sammy very three-dimensional--I don't want people to be able to describe her in one word.

YAY!!! FAVORITE LINES!!! Huh... funny... that IS her internal conflict.

Thanks, this chapter was really all about characterization. And creepers.

Thanks!!!:)


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Review #15, by Slytherin_Ravenclaw_chick Known

10th July 2010:
oh, cool. Yeah, nice to see a chapter. Yeah, I've been having major writer's block as well, good luck with that. 10/10!

Author's Response: Awww: Hope you get over your writer's block... Thanks for the review!!! --L

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Review #16, by laney Suspected

10th July 2010:
i gussed the secret in chapter 1 or 2 so i saw this coming.i have no idea of who the mom is.also,you did Hagrid really well.

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad I have such smart readers:) Thank you, and thanks for the review!!!

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Review #17, by castaspell Known

10th July 2010:
I love it!!! And don't beat yourself up for not getting the chapter up right away. I was suffering major writer's block too with my fan fiction (the one I mentioned earlier that was a lot like yours) but I god my muse back :D

I really love this story. And the beginning seriously had me in tears becasue I could totally relate with Garrett there. I know we're not supposed to like him, but I'm starting to get a soft spot for him =/
10/10
-castaspell

Author's Response: Thank you for understanding:) It was not a fun time, and I'm glad you got your muse back too.

It had you in tears?? That's so--well, not wonderful, but it's such a nice complement!!! Yeah, I got some pretty crazy things planned for Garrett too. Thanks for the review!!! --L


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Review #18, by lilypotterfan123 Known

9th July 2010:
ooh plot twist! I'm glad your writers block is over I'd been looking forward to reading this as soon as i'd finished reading the last one! Hurry up with the next chappie,

LpF123 xx

Author's Response: I'm glad my writer's block is over too:) Thanks for the review!!! I'll hurry:) --L

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Review #19, by silver_cloak Known

9th July 2010:
Don't bite your fingernails off, don't bite your fingernails off... I'm reviewing. I really love this chapter, I think it may be my favorite yet. It's such a perfect display of her life at Hogwarts, her friendships, academic life, relationships with teachers, enemies, her secret... you balance it all very well. It's beautiful. Keep writing!! 10/10, as always.

Author's Response: Thank you!!! I try to balance everything:)

Merci beaucoup!! --L


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Review #20, by DracoFerret11 Unexpected Confidantes

7th July 2010:
Hey, it's me again! :]

Ah, another good chapter. :D I really like the way you write, as I've said. You keep things short, but you're getting in enough detail to keep readers hooked. Please, feel free to return to the review thread when you post more. I promise I'll read more quickly and I'd love to know what happens.

Good characterization here. I do feel like there's not enough development in the other characters besides Sammy though. But I liked that you threw something in with Victoire.

Good job with moving the plot along. We'll see how things go with Garrett and Medea. They seem quite... scheming. :P

Very nicely done overall, you've got a great idea and you're running with it. Good job. :D

Return to the review thread anytime!

--DracoFerret11/DarkRose

Author's Response: Awww... *gives big hug* That's so nice. I'm smiling now. It feels... happy:)

I feel that way too. Promise, more characterization. As soon as I figure out how to character-ize minor characters, that is.

Oh, they are quite... scheming;)

I know it's been a while since I updated, but if you stick tight for a few days my latest chapter will be coming out of the queue! YESSS!!! It's my favorite since the first, I think. Lots of Garrett.

Will do, and thank you for the review!!! --L


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Review #21, by DracoFerret11 Suspected

7th July 2010:
Hey there!

Wel... I'm quite fond of this chapter as well. I really like the way you write.

Another short scene, but it works and it's good. I can tell we're gonna have some major issues pretty quickly, as soon as everybody figures out about Sammy.

'Course, all the readers know her secret from the beginning, but with Bellatrix (?) and Voldemort as parents... well, she's set up for an interesting life.

I liked the way that you put in Hagrid's moment of suspicion. It worked well. Though I wish we'd have seen more of the lesson. It's good that there are actually CLASSES in this fic though, so many authors ignore that they're in school. :P

Nice characterization and descriptions, we'll see what trouble Garrett and Medea cause in the near future.

On to chapter five.

--DracoFerret11/DarkRose

Author's Response: Thank you:) That means a LOT to me.

Yeah, it's short, sorry. That is what I don't like about my writing--I have the whole ADHD-writing thing where I just can't stay in one scene for too long.

I really tried to be un-cliche with this fic, especially because I would be running into some HUGE cliches (they're all in Gryffindor!) so I stuck classes in there and nice teachers:)

Thanks for the review!! --L


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Review #22, by DracoFerret11 Defense Against the Dark Arts

7th July 2010:
Me, of course.

GREAT chapter! :D I really loved it. It wasn't completely expected, so it was great.

I think it's cool that you're making the lead antagonist (at this moment) a Ravenclaw instead of a Slytherin. Thanks, change is really appreciated. :D

I liked the descriptions throughout the chapter, as usual and the characterization is really strong. I like that Medea has some strange self-righteousness about being a Ravenclaw. That's really original.

Careful not to make Sammy too good at everything, we don't want a Mary-Sue. But she's all right for now. I wonder when everybody will figure out her secret... and how Teddy and Victoire will react.

Oh it's all so suspenseful! :D

Great job, on to four.

--DracoFerret11/DarkRose

Author's Response: Yay!!! Unexpectedness!!! :D:D

Yeah, I was hoping someone would notice that. I'm a Ravenclaw-fan myself, but I thought it was right to have a Ravenclaw villain. And Medea is really a stuck-up Ravenclaw--clever and somewhat cunning, but mostly clever. She's not really a bad person, I don't think.

I'll be wary of Mary-Sue-ing. Hmm... flaws for Sammy...

Thanks for the review!! --L


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Review #23, by DracoFerret11 Sorted

7th July 2010:
Me again!

GREAT second chapter! I really enjoyed the interaction between Sammy, Teddy, and Victoire. Very well done.

The sorting ceremony was really well written as well! I love that you made Hagrid the head of Gryffindor. I've never seen that done before! Really cool.

Sammy's thoughts came across really well too. Like a sort of internal dialogue, you wrote in-character for your OC which is great. Sometimes authors forget that thoughts can't sound scripted. You didn't. :]

Again, your descriptions really fit with the scenario and everything happening. They were a very nice spruce to the situation.

I thought it odd that Teddy was talking about growing fangs at the full moon though. It's an original idea, but I dunno what kid would like to popularize that. Though maybe that's just me, haha.

Good job explaining the characters backgrounds so quickly. It means there won't be any awkward "twenty-questions" type scenes. I wrote an entire twenty questions chapter once... it was terrible.

I think that you're dividing the scenes well and the length is working, but I'm wondering how you'll deal with time passing when everything at the beginning of the year speeds up.

We'll see. :]

So far, so good. Keep it up! On to chapter three...

--DracoFerret11/DarkRose

Author's Response: Hey you again!!!

Thanks:) I figured, who ELSE would be head of Gryffindor besides Hagrid?

Yay! I tried to make her thought-ish but not the whole "random voice inside my head telling me what to do" thing...

A spruce? That's such an original thing to say:) I always thought those were trees.

Thank you for the reviews!! --L


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Review #24, by DracoFerret11 An Unceremonious Arrival

7th July 2010:
Hey there, it's the indecently slow DarkRose from the forums with a review you requested months ago.

So... let's see... I really liked this! I think it's really cool that you worked Teddy and Victoire into a first-year story. Though Victoire is a few years below Teddy in school in JKR's books. But that's all right.

I really enjoyed your characterization. It was very well-written. Each of the characters has a unique personality and you fit their dialogue very well with those personalities.

Your descriptions were spot-on as well. Great job. The first few lines of the story were very eye-catching and I'm sure you'll grab readers' attention with them.

Overall, stupendous job. I'm on to chapter two. :D

--DracoFerret11/DarkRose

Author's Response: Heyy!!! I was wondering what happened... it's okay, all good with me:)

Yeah, I was a little non-canon here with Teddy and Victoire.

:D I tried to do that, in my previous attempts at writing everyone sounded the same, sooo...:)

Thank you for the review!!:) --L


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Review #25, by SexyDoorFrames Unexpected Confidantes

17th June 2010:
This is really good. I thoroughly enjoy the plot line :) Your writing is excellent and I look forward to where you're taking this :)

- SexyDoorFrames
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! I kind of enjoy the plot line too... :)

Lots of love for the review!!! *gives cookie* --L


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