I don't shake when I start a new story, I write. I donít hide from my subject, I seek them out. I don't get emotionally involved, I distance myself.
^ I like this part because she's analyzing herself more than the situation and George. She could have easily put her emotions aside and just went for it because we journalists really are vultures, I have to say.
Which she kind of proves throughout her conversation with George when she's trying to cover her tracks. Lying seems to come second nature to her and yes, journalists aren't supposed to lie to their sources, goes against the code of ethics for most organizations.
You know I really can't place Jane's character because one minute I think she's being sincere and then the next...well she's kind of a trickster. This could very well end up being George/Angelina with the way Jane is setting herself up for a downfall. Lying doesn't keep a relationship or a friendship going for too long.
I've missed you and this story. It does seem a little rushed compared to your other chapters but sometimes we just need to get the story rolling. Don't stress over the next chapter. We'll still be here when you get back!Author's Response: This review made my heart sing! I'm so happy you're still with me in this.
Jane is my most intriguing character... I never intended her to be so manipulative, but as her story grew, so did she. You're right, lying does come second nature to her and it will get her into much trouble. I can guarantee that!
There's so much to tell, but it's all a tangled mess. I hope I can get it right.
Thank you so much for this review!! Report Review
My stomach dropped right at the end. This story is so interesting! Definitely haven't read anything like this before. I love your attention to detail, everything flows so nicely as well, I was a bit surprised I was already done with the chapter because I was so immersed in it. Update whenever you can!Author's Response: So many compliments! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's always an amazing feeling when someone responds so well to this story! Yes, this chapter was shorter than the first, but cliffhangers are just so much fun! I'm slowing getting to updating, but with school and NaNoWriMo, my plate is pretty full! Don't worry, though, I'll get it done. Report Review
This was wonderful! I really didn't know what to expect going in on the first chapter because I've only read about two other stories dealing with the twins and that was during their Hogwarts years when Fred was alive. I can't wait to see what you have in store for George and Jane. That has a nice ring to it, George and Jane.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm happy that I captured your interest. Oh, George and Jane, I do hope their story makes you happy. Report Review
Oh I really love this story! It's really well written, I love all of the internal thought and the way that as a writer, I can connect to everything Jane says or thinks. It really shows just how good it is to write about what you know, because you've got yourself a really good foundation in that you know exactly how your heroine is feeling. 'Wait! Wait. You stupid word! Get back into my mouth where you belong, or better yet, onto my notepad.' I love this line, it just made me laugh because it captures the feeling of sitting in front of a blank page so well. So, just a few things that I'd like to point out, don't worry, they're not big, just typos and suchlike.
'There I was, Jane Vantage, 23 years of age, a reporter/columnist at the Daily Prophet for seven years': This doesn't quite make sense because Jane would have to have started at the Prophet when she was sixteen and still at Hogwarts without any qualifications. Perhaps you should change this to something a bit more feasable like 4 years, or just make her a bit older, probably about 26. I love the flashback, it's amazing, but I don't think you actually need to write flashback, since you make it clear in the first sentence that it is set at Fred's funeral. I think three stars or something like that would make it look more proffessional. Personally, I don't think Luna is quite matter of fact enough, she usually gets straigth to the point. But she is one of the very very hardest characters to get right.
Overall, I think you've done a great job and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done!Author's Response: This is seriously an awesome review! I'm really glad that you enjoyed Jane, because she's pretty finicky about how she's portrayed sometimes. Thank you for catching the bit about the timeline. I've been fiddling around with it for ages, but I can't seem to get it right. She actually was 26 originally, but I changed it. I'm going to have to go back and really get it all sorted out! The flashback thing is noted! Yes, Luna is hard to get right. My beta and I worked on her, but I hope she's the Luna my story needs. Thank you again for your wonderful review! It made my day! Report Review
Omg you have no idea how happy I am that you are updating this story again! :D when it was first posted, I was really excited about the plot. It's really unique in the world of fanfiction.
It was nice to see the environment of the daily prophet workplace in this chapter. Also, I like jane's character more and more. She's a good person, but she has a certain amount of ambition, too, and I really admire that. :)
I can't wait for the next chapter!! I want to see what kind of conflict happens between Jane and George. Even though I'm not logged into my account I had to come leave a review and let you know that I'm still faithfully following this story. :)Author's Response: I just did my happy dance! I'm glad you are still on board with this story, even with the ridiculously long break!
I'm glad you like the plot because I'm working really hard to figure out everything from plot details to characterization. Since this is my first fic that I'm actually trying to do this with, it means a lot that I'm doing a good job!
I have about half of the next chapter written, so hopefully I can balance my life out and get it up soon! Thank you again! Report Review
It was shorter than the first, but still absouloutley great. Love it! I usually hate cliffhangers because they're really crappy and un-inventive but yours was great. Sorry if it seems like in an obsessive by the way, I just love this story. When will you be writing more? To improve, you could possibly write the story in Fred's P.O.V? Or start your sentences with more variable openers? (Not that you don't change all the time, i'm just trying to think of things you could improve x])
Update soon!Author's Response: Whew! I'm glad I did that cliff-hanger right, as I was debating on how to end this chapter. Haha, obsessive? No way, I understand what it's like to love a story! Thank you for the constructive criticisms, I'll definitely be taking them into account (especially about the openers). I have about half of the next chapter written, hopefully it was be up soon! I'm trying to organize everything I have going on, but I don't want to stop writing this because I really do love this story! Report Review
I LOVE THIS SO FAR! It's the first story i've ever read on this site, but it's the best anyways, not that I have much to compare it to. I love how you made it that George didn't accept her at first - much better than making them kiss or hug like most writers would. You write so beautifully also, great job. I can't wait to read more chapters.
Good luck with the series!Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving a review!!! I wouldn't worry too much about having something to compare this to. HPFF has amazing stories, and definitely ones that will put this one to shame. I still thank you though and I'm really happy you enjoyed it! Report Review
i usually don't read post Hogwarts stories about the
Weasley twins (on account of they make me depressed) but this somehow caught my attention.
Its a fantastic start, and i cant wait to read the rest.
update soon please!=]Author's Response: This brought the biggest smile to my face! Thank you so much for reading and I'm grateful that this managed to catch your attention.
The rest is coming... slowly, but I hope I won't make you wait much longer.
xoxo. Report Review
Hey there, it's DarkRose from the forums!
Well, I think you've got a terrific idea here! Really, I do. It's original in that I've never thought of a story about a reporter that isn't Rita Skeeter. And, ironically, Jane is like... Rita's polar opposite, her foil. Neat!
I really like your characterization of Jane. She's not a Mary-Sue in anyway (though you'll have to make sure she doesn't become one as the story continues, as with all OCs). She's very... real. And I really like that she's got this sort of... very interesting conscience. Haha, I like her thoughts.
It'll be interesting to see how the interaction with George goes, I'm sure that you'll write it well. You're doing a great job. Keep it up! :D
--DracoFerret11/DarkRoseAuthor's Response: If I could squee right now, I would!
Thank you so much for your comments because they really turned my day into a happy one. I promise to keep her away from the Mary-Sue qualities (with help from my beta definitely!)
I do hope I'm able to do justice to George and my whole plot! Thanks for the review once again!
xoxo. Report Review
This is fantastic.
Usually, I would start off a story with a peppy "Hello!" But I'm already so emotionally involved. I can barely write this review, just as Jane could barely write down an article about Fred Weasley's funeral.
You did a wonderful job portraying Jane's emotions. I could really feel her indecision, and I could feel (if this word could be italicized it would be) the pull of her journalist side and her heart. :D
I like Jane's last name! You can really tell she's a true journalist, telling things from her vantage point. The plot is very interesting, and I can't wait for the next chapter to come up! I've favorited the story, actually. (: Excellent job! 10/10!
~foundriapenguinAuthor's Response: -gushes-
You just put a huge smile on my face! I'm relieved and incredibly happy that I managed to bring you into the story emotionally. Connecting with an OC is hard.
Vantage. xD. I thought it was rather clever. hehe. FAVORITED? REALLY? I'm honored.
Hopefully the next chapter will be up... soonish.
xoxo. Report Review
This was a looong first chapter and a lot happened in a short amount of time. We got to know a little of Janeís character and it is a bit conflicting. One one side she is a witty and sarcastic journalist and on the other she is an emotional wreck. I can see why you chose to have her break down at the funeral, but maybe she should have done more of a self realization thing before.
As for the plot. As it stands right now it seems very predictable. My advice to you would be to throw in a few plot twists and hard decisions for your characters.
Maybe you should have your beta look through this chapter before you post another one. I saw a lot of typos and grammatical errors and a beta would be able to fix those and it would improve your writing that much more.
PPAuthor's Response: Thank you for the constructive criticism, it will help a lot. This is the first chapter, so there is plenty of room to grow and hard decisions are bound to come about.
Yes. Grammar. I'll talk to my beta and look over this.
Thanks again for the review. It helped me understand some things.
Hi! Maja here from the forums with your very overdue review. I'm so sorry, I've been hating a bit on reading lately, and didn't want to take that out on my review requesters. :(
Anyway, here we are.
I really enjoyed reading this story. Your characterisation of Jane is wonderful - if I didn't know any better I never would have imagined she was an OC, or, to be more precise, she is so well developed that I would almost imagine her as belonging in her own universe, one written for her. I hope you see what I mean, because that could just be classed as rambling otherwise. :)
I like that Jane is sarcastic and has flaws, but also has the ability to get emotionally involved with the stories that she writes about. Your characterisations of all the other characters were spot on - Luna in particular was a favourite - and I was left with the distinct feeling that you knew the world very well.
You writing style is simple and elegant, which is uncommon, I have to say, and very refreshing. Your grasp on grammar and syntax is great, THANK YOU, which just made this all the more pleasant to read.
And your plot? Lovely. Sad. Begging to be told.
Feel very free to re-request when you have the next chapter up. ^_^
MajaxxAuthor's Response: Oh, don't worry about it! I know how that goes.
I'm incredibly flattered that you think Jane is so well-developed. It means quite a bit to me because, well I just love her! xD It feels good that people are responding so well to her.
I actually had trouble with Luna, so I'm glad to see that I kept at least part of true to her character. Gah! All these positive points! You make me feel so happy!
Ok, one last thing. xD You can thank the grammar to my English teacher and my wonderful beta who truly helped me.
I definitely will be requesting again!
Thanks so much!
Wonderful start. I'm already incredibly intrigued as to how this interview and story is going to turn out. I love your writing style as well. Keep up the great work! Can't wait for the next chapter :)Author's Response: It's good to hear that I grabbed your attention! That always seem the be the hardest part. Thank you so much for this review, it really made me smile!
xoxo. Report Review
I see it up! What a wonderful day for me that I found it :). To see it go from a little tiny late night idea into a first chapter is so amazing. And I do have to say a great first chapter for a great story idea.
I love Jane. She is sarcastic, and she is herself. She is funny and yet not at the same time. Love her.
I think that this is going to go so well and I think you will do amazing as you keep getting more chapters out!Author's Response: -gasps- Aren't you proud of me?? xD It's true. It was a very late night idea. Hehe
I'm glad you like Jane. It's hard to create a character and I truly hope that I'm able to keep her rounded, interesting and not change her personality whenever I feel like it. So, just cross your fingers.
Right. next chapter... I'll let my muse get back to you on that.
xoxo Report Review
This is such a great chapter! I'm really excited for this chapter! It was very descriptive and well written! Jane seems like a great, original character. I can't wait to read more. The whole scene with the minister was really funny, was the paper she had just a little throw away or is it going to mean something? And I wonder if George is going to be willing to talk...I doubt it...Author's Response: Awhs! Your review was the cherry on top of a wonderful day! I'm really happy that you liked it so much! I actually can't stop smiling!
The paper does have a recurring part, a very special part. Oh George... poor George. xD
xoxo. Report Review
So far so good I can't wait to see the next chapter. Also how do you get a beta I am in huge need of one.Author's Response: Thanks so much!! I hope the next chapter comes soon as well. xD
An excellent way to find a beta is on the forums. If you go to the Help Needed section, I'm sure you'll find someone lovely to help!
xoxo. Report Review
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