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Reading Reviews for Fall For You
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slytherangoddess Sweet Retribution..Or Not

10th August 2011:
This was pretty darn good for your first Dramione. (And I love me some Dramione's lol)

You had me captivated all the way through and i was pleased with each paragraph. Very well done :D

*Slytherangoddess*
Slytherin

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #2, by thethreebadgers Sweet Retribution..Or Not

6th July 2011:
I love this, which should be a huge complement since i usually HATE dramione. good job(:

Author's Response: Omg thank you so much! xx AK

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Review #3, by OfficialBarbie Sweet Retribution..Or Not

25th April 2011:
I really like this. :)
The way that Draco told Hermione that she didn't see what Ron did to her reminded me loads of the Twilight love triangle, when Jacob said that to Bella. I was wondering if you based it on that? :)
This is really cutesy. >.<
And I love how he brings out her violence. ;)

Author's Response: Hahaha no. But I have read the books. Hm, idk.

Thank you though haha


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Review #4, by pooh Sweet Retribution..Or Not

17th November 2010:
well that was a nice story...

Author's Response: thank you! :D
love
AK~


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Review #5, by potterprincess07 Sweet Retribution..Or Not

11th November 2010:
This was really good. A) It's my favorite ship. B) I love the song! I've kind of wanted to write a story to this song, but never could. I thought the same, that it fit them perfectly. One suggestion, and that's all it is, just because it seemed funny at the moment (but probably won't in like, a day) is when he says "FrontDoor Boys" and she goes, "It's the Backstreet Boys" would be to also change "boys" to "men" so that all the words are different, but close enough that if you know who they are, it's funny, and if not, you're left wondering, huh? So yeah, that's my thought. I thought it was great, and I love the changed Draco. As for being OOC, my thought is, after the war? Anything is possible. Absolutely anything (after all, war changes people, and I like to think that leads to all sorts of possibilities in the fanfiction world.)

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Review #6, by lunarocks14 Sweet Retribution..Or Not

13th October 2010:
Uhh, wow. That is the most incredibly sweet thing. And it's really true-sounding. Although it didn't actually happen, it still feels true. I really love this. :) you're a great writer. Uhm, 10/10!

If you're drlove's Beta (which I think you are :L): Oh, by the way, I can't believe you don't think Sirius Black is hot. drlove should've convinced you he is xD

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Review #7, by confusedlover Sweet Retribution..Or Not

11th June 2010:
very lovely.

i thought this was a very nicely written Dramione. i like what you did with the plot and had a fantastic time reading this. keep up the great work! i'll have to check out some of your other stories sometime. have a fantastic day!

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Review #8, by SaladOrCellarDoor Sweet Retribution..Or Not

11th June 2010:
Hey, there! Thank you so much for requesting.

To me, it seems strange that Ron would be so heartless. It feels a bit out of character for him. However, Hermione's reaction does seem to be in character; it mirrors other times throughout the series in which she has been hurt, so well done there. Maybe if we were given some background as to why Ron broke up with her, it wouldn't feel so OOC. If you brainstorm a good reason why, it will make the entire opening much stronger, which will draw your readers in even more.

Even though Draco is much nicer than he was in the series, his style of dialogue seems to be the most in character. His banter and sarcasm work really well. Hermione's dialogue is good, but it is not reminiscent of her style of speaking throughout the series. Of course, she is older and has changed a bit here. But, if you want to strengthen her dialogue, I think that reading through a few scenes with her in DH may help perfect that.

You're really good at including detail where necessary (like "leaving a trail of water droplets from her wet hair on the ground"). Learning how to channel that more often will help you to show what is going on without having to directly say it and will make you a very strong writer.

The Weasleys are a super tight family, so while Molly is a very wise woman, I doubt she would ever see her son as a "prick." Maybe there is another way to show that she's siding with Hermione without having her go against Ron?

I like the detail you threw in about Hermione rejecting Draco at first. This helps to give another dimension to their relationship and gives the illusion of time passing. This sort of relationship is only possible over time, so little things like that really help to make it more believable.

I really like the flashback to their first encounter! It's well written, and the detail about "books" being the key word that kept the conversation flowing is so funny, and I can picture it being true.

A few paragraphs down is where I really start to fall in love with your Draco. While he's quite out of character (because he is much nicer), he is a very fun character to read! (I know he has been through the war and all, but it is difficult to imagine such a drastic change. However, I really do enjoy reading about this Draco.)

My favorite part is definitely when Draco says "Willyougooutwithme?" Hahaha, it's just so funny to picture him squirming around like a helpless boy!

"Her initial reaction was absolutely nothing; she was too shocked to do anything." This line is more perfect than you can imagine. I've been in that weird situation where the guy kisses you out of the blue (and you didn't expect or want it), and that was pretty much my reaction to it, as well. :/

"Hell, even the gay ones would find him attractive!" I LOLed at this, too, because it reminds me of slash fanfics.

There's definitely a lot of humor in here, and you're really good at that. You have humorous parts in both the dialogue and the narration, and they make the story very playful and enjoyable. Another: "Since when did this conversation go from being about you and me to being a war between men and women?"

Frontdoor Boys also cracked me up! It seems like your story works really well for the challenge.

I have to be honest. I feel weird reading this because Hermione's relationship with Draco is too similar to mine with my (ex) best friend. (I didn't cave in like Hermione, and it didn't end well.) :( That has nothing to do with your story though, so I'll say that I enjoyed it a lot. As a general rule, I would just concentrate on adding any little bit you can to make it more believable and in character. Other than that, it was a really fun read!

Feel free to request again (:

V

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Review #9, by Marauders001 Sweet Retribution..Or Not

11th June 2010:
Hey there, I just wanted to leave a review because I thought that you've made an excellent start and yeah, it is a bit different, but a good kind of different :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! :) Glad you liked the start! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #10, by Jasmin Sweet Retribution..Or Not

19th April 2010:
I am reading this quite early in the morning so my tired brain may just be reading it wrong, but in the second paragraph (after the break) you say it's nine and a half months later (which I took to mean nine and half months since Ron broke up with Hermoine) however later on (in the same paragraph) she refers to Draco as her lover of ten months. ?? I assume it was either a mix up in the time line (as I presume that Hermione did not in fact cheat on Ron with Draco) or I've perceived something wrong (in which case you may want to review it, I'm tired, but I did re-read it a couple times). Anyway, other than that it was a good story, decently written, if a little ooc. I'm not a fan of large amounts of italics, but it was worth persevering through. =)

Author's Response: You're right. I should go back and change it. :D
Thanks for pointing it out, love! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #11, by butterbeergal Sweet Retribution..Or Not

10th April 2010:
Hello, hun! First of all, thanks for submitting an entry to my challenge. :)

I think this is my favorite out of everything you've written that I've read. I'm not that big a Dramione shipper so I greatly appreciate the disclaimer you placed at the start about your Draco being more cheery. Even if you took this liberty, you still managed to make him out as the usual arrogant Malfoy that we all love to hate... but somewhat more adorable. Haha. I'm not entirely sure if he would refer to Hermione as 'sweetheart' even if they were together, I think Granger would be more plausible, but then again he may be a changed man. :P

Another reason why I liked this was despite being a one-shot, you gave it time for Draco and Hermione to realize their feelings for each other and didn't just dive into the whole relationship thing at once. I always imagined that if this ship was to work, Hermione would have to give Draco a hard time (and vice versa) before giving in to him, and I appreciate the effort you put in in terms of the development of their friendship.

Quick question - when Hermione says the Weasleys are the only family she has in this world, does world mean the general world or the Wizarding world? What happened to her own family? Hehe sorry, just picked that up and wanted to clarify it.

I also noted that majority of the story was a flashback and although this in itself is not entirely wrong, it can sometimes get a bit tiring on the eyes to read everything in italics. I understand that you started the story with them together hence the flashbacks but maybe you could switch it up a bit so it would be in the present? But if this is the effect that you wanted, then by all means don't mind this - just a little observation. :)

Technically, there were minor typos here and there mostly involving punctuations (misplaced semi-colons and commas) but nothing too major. A bit of editing would easily fix this.

Overall, a very sweet, snarky and feel-good Dramione tale. I had fun reading it.

Cheerio,
Gillian

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I just saw this, so I'm sorry for the late reply. :)
Anyway, I really appreciate your feedback and will def go back and edit it out. :)
You hate Ron? I love him and anything that's Weasley!
Oh yes, that mistake, I think Hermione was just rounding it off, she actually meant nine and a half months only! :D
Wow, that's the only fault you found.
Seriously, WOW. :D
This reminds you of Wuthering Heights? SERIOUSLY?
No.
Freaking.
Way.
I'm so flattered, I'm blushing right now. :P
Right so anyway, thanks for reviewing.
If you need to ask me anything at all, feel free to drop by my MTA page, the links on my sig @ the forums!
muah
love
Ak~


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Review #12, by keroberros Sweet Retribution..Or Not

30th March 2010:
This is really good and I like all the jumps in time that you make as it reminds me a little of Wuthering Hegihts. Weird I know but there is one thing that kind of irks me and that's that in the first paragraph you say that Ron and Hermione had just broken up and then you go to nine and half months later where she has been Draco's lover for ten months. This would then imply that she had been cheating on Ron with Draco which we later learn was definitely not the case. Just curious if you could clear that up for me as it really just confused me for the whole thing and was a little distracting. That's really my only major fault with this

I think Draco really pretty sweet which probably is a little OOC but I like him like that as we know from canon that he does have a sensitive side (well he can cry anyways) Other than that I just hate Ron but that's nothing new :p Great Job. I prefer this style to your other one as I feel that you write better with an omniscient narrator.
Kero

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I just saw this, so I'm sorry for the late reply. :)
Anyway, I really appreciate your feedback and will def go back and edit it out. :)
You hate Ron? I love him and anything that's Weasley!
Oh yes, that mistake, I think Hermione was just rounding it off, she actually meant nine and a half months only! :D
Wow, that's the only fault you found.
Seriously, WOW. :D
This reminds you of Wuthering Heights? SERIOUSLY?
No.
Freaking.
Way.
I'm so flattered, I'm blushing right now. :P
Right so anyway, thanks for reviewing.
If you need to ask me anything at all, feel free to drop by my MTA page, the links on my sig @ the forums!
muah
love
Ak~


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Review #13, by Miriel Sweet Retribution..Or Not

27th March 2010:
Hey!:) Nice one! I liked it alot, although Draco is a bit OOC. But it was fun to read and, well, I love Draco :D

Greets
Miriel

Author's Response: :) thanks so much! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #14, by amy Sweet Retribution..Or Not

26th March 2010:
it was nice to read a story of a nice draco for a change

Author's Response: Hehe, I thought so tto1 I think Draco's a severely misunderstood character, hence my take on his character is different! :)
Thanks for reviewing!
love
Ak~


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Review #15, by LindaSnape Sweet Retribution..Or Not

25th March 2010:
As you know, I'm not a big fan of Dramione as I hate the shipping and don't find it plausible. Seriously, it's not, even if the fic is set in sixth year, but I did say that I wouldn't focus on that. So I won't break my promise.

I did notice a spelling error that your beta must have overlooked. Leant isn't a word. It should be leaned. :) Hate to be overly critical, but as an English major I oft pick up on things like that, so don't throw a shoe at me.

Surprisingly, they did seem very much in character.

However, I don't know about her reasoning for falling for him. Sure, the war had changed him for arguably the better - but I don't think he'd change so drastically. I still think his pureblood standards would be ingrained in his head. I could see it, however, as a rebound/revenge relationship to make Ron jealous.

Because I can see her wanting to hurt Ron for hurting her. I can't really see any genuine love between the two. I think Draco would toy with her, if anything.

Maybe that's just me, liking the Canon. However, that's how I feel about the scenario. The pet names kind-of bothered me, though. I don't know if Draco would call anyone by pet names, and Hermione seemed a little more needy than I would picture her as.

Yes, she's a sensitive girl, and yet she's also very strong willed and independent.

So there you go, love, that's my honest opinion for you. You obviously don't have to agree, but that's my take, since you asked for it.


Linders

Author's Response: thank you for reading this and letting me know what you think! :)
I adore your writing so it's just awesome that you think they're in character! :)
Anyway, thank you reviewing right away, I didn't expect a review so soon! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #16, by CleMonPink Sweet Retribution..Or Not

21st March 2010:
Now that made sense. I didn't know how the story was going to turn out but it fit the song, which is by the way my favorite song of theirs forever and always. This is a sweet Dramione story.

Author's Response: Yeah, BSB are awesome! :D
And though I'm not a huge fan of D/Hr, I liked writing this!
glad you liked it as well! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #17, by Shelley Sweet Retribution..Or Not

18th March 2010:
That was really well written.! But a little too mushy fir my taste!
But all in all that was quite good..!

Author's Response: :P
Thanks for the review, SHELLEY!
Guys, this my BESTEST FRIEND EVER! Call her Shelley, if you will!
thanks so much hun!
love
Ak~


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Review #18, by Malfoylover01 Sweet Retribution..Or Not

17th March 2010:
i really really like this its so so cool xoxoxo

Author's Response: Hah! Thanks, glad you liked it! :)
love
Ak~
P.S: Thanks for reviewing! :)


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