Aaah! This is absolutely hilarious! I absolutely love quidditchy stories like this! Nora is truly a brilliant character. Please upload the next chapter asap! :) Report Review
LOL!! Love this story... update soo!?.. Report Review
Hey there! Here with your requested review!
First off, Kiana reminded of Ron in a way, because I could certainly see him waking up the entire dorm before dealing with a spider himself. =P
Now with this:
'Ellen got up and made her way over to us, “I swear, Jones, you give us girls a bad name.”
Kiana argued, “I do not. I just happen not to like spiders. Loads of people don’t like spiders.”
Ellen walked over to Kiana’s make up bag and daintily picked up the spider, then brought him over to the open window and let him crawl out, “You definitely do. I bet you’ve never even played a sport in your entire life.” ' -- I'd just say it took me a moment of thinking to realize which line she was referring, was she continuing on about Kiana giving girls a bad name?
Other than that and perhaps that it could use the spice of some more description and that the end felt a tad rushed, I really liked it! The OC's were likable and one can get a glimpse at their characterization from the get go, which I believe is good as to be honest I don't usually like OC's much, so that kept me reading. ^_^
-CaitiAuthor's Response: Thanks so so much for leaving me a review! And sorry I've taken like 60 years to respond >.< Anyway this was so helpful and I appreciate so much like I said, THANK YOU :) Report Review
lololol great job!
I can't wait until you update this! soon please!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm writing chapter 3 right now but its kinda proving to be a logistical nightmare haha...so we'll see...thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
lol, I'd have fun writing that too :) I really liked it! I've seen a few other stories like this, but this has it's differences. Good ones of course :) Can't wait for the next chapter. I'm wondering what'll happen next :)Author's Response: Thanks! I know there are TONS of quidditch next gen stories but I really wanted to tell this one :) Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
I love James in this chapter! I love how he threatens Nora because she doesn't want to join Quidditch. :)Author's Response: Hah, gotta love James. I just LOVE writing him for some reason...dunno why haha Report Review
This is so fun, even though it's only the first chapter. :) I love your stories. PLEASE POST MORE!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love your reviews :D I've been writing a lot more lately and hopefully updates will be a lot more regular! Report Review
Great chapter =}
Update soon pleaseAuthor's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Updates will be coming soon, I'm very excited to get further into this one :) Report Review
Definitely liking the story so far :)Author's Response: Haha, awesome! Thank you! Report Review
i'd like to see him try to get her on a broom!!
soft? men. they never understand.
this story is well-written, and i think its amazing! im new to the site, so im not sure how updates work?Author's Response: we'll see it haha, cause he IS going to try!. Updates are another term for when an author adds another chapter to their story. Like this story will be updated when chapter three is up! Did that make any sense? Thanks for the review and welcome to HPFF Report Review
ME? You want to hear MY thoughts? Golly gee, I feel so loved! :)
Ok, this chapter was great, too. Nora is so adorable, though I feel a bit bad that she doesn't even like Quidditch and all. But it sure does make the story hilarious.
My favorite part? Are you ready for this? Ok, here it goes . . . .
James grinned at me, "Nora, I carried you all the way up here because I care that much about you. I know we don't know each other that well and everything, but I'm positive your arm - I mean you, you and I will be the best of friends."
O.M.G. I was reading this with my sister and we were both in absolute hysterics after reading it. That was so utterly funny. I loved it to heck.
Loved the last part, too, with James giving her his speech and then Ellen's, "I think he took it well." Wonderful.
Really really great job! Can't wait for the next chap!
P.S. I am adding you as a fav author; you're so talented.Author's Response: oh, hey again :D and yes, I love hearing everyone's thoughts! but yes I liked James' speech as well xD thank you for reviewing ! Report Review
Ooooh, again, this story looks absolutely incredible! Your writing really awes me; it's spectacular.
Annora seems like a great character. I love that she doesn't know really that much about Quidditch and yet has this secret talent for beating. I always wanted to be like that - and I actually am! I never knew how incredible I was with window wash products . . . seriously. Those are some clean windows.
Ahem, ANNNYway, my favorite line: "Yeah, we're gonna be like turtles, only in the air." HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Also loved: "For a moment I couldn't tell if the sound was the bludger hitting the bat, or my arm breaking." *giggles hysterically*
And the last sentence. Brilliance in its purest form.
Moving excitedly onto the next chapter,
SquidAuthor's Response: All I can say is thank you, your compliments really just are amazing and I'm incredibly happy that you're enjoying my stories so much :D Report Review
bahahaha soft.not for long because i'm pretty sure there is no way in hell james is letting her quit. really enjoying the story so far and excited to see how it evolves :]Author's Response: yeah James is pretty determined xD glad that you are excited! Report Review
okay ... James is just a wee bit obsessed with Quidditch ... you know, just a bit.
lol, when I read "I'm not joining" for soem reason I kept reading "I'm not joking" and got extremely confused. Guess who's blind even with glasses?
haha "soft". Hmm, I wonder what /that/ means? Although, it could imply that she was fat, seeing as fat is soft.
A good follow up chapter, and once again, I am eager for more.Author's Response: yeah, just a bit XD And I do that all the time! Whenever I'm reading on here (I think maybe its my computer screen or something) I always misread things and get all jumbled up! Next chapter should be up soon-ish as Pesky Parchment is taking more of my attention at the moment. thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I love this story! it's so funny! Even though I think nora is crazy to turn down a spot on the team! I can't wait to see what happens!!
update soon!Author's Response: Yeah Nora is a bit crazy haha. I'm so happy that you like my story so much, thank you for letting me know your thoughts. Report Review
Very, Very , Very funny great chapterAuthor's Response: thank you! Always great to hear that someone thinks my stories are funny xD Report Review
Ooo I really like this! I heart James. More soon please! I can't wait to see where you go with this story. Great start!!Author's Response: Thank you! This story should be updated sometime soon. And I love writing James haha, its so much fun! Report Review
haha I LOVE IT! hurry and write next chapter hahahahaha. still laughing(:Author's Response: yay! thats really my goal with this story and also my other story Pesky Parchment is to get people laughing :D So Im happy you are! Thanks for the reveiw! Report Review
I'm really looking forward to what happens next... so far so good :D
-mAuthor's Response: Thank you! Next chapter should be up soon and we will find out what happens to Nora! Report Review
Great story so far!!! Keep up the writing, update soon!!! Your a great writer, I can tell from this chapter!!! I Love the storyline of this story!!! You are one great author!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much(: This review is so awesome, it made my day. Next chapter should be up this week Report Review
I love the beginning to this story :) I can't wait for more!
xAuthor's Response: more is coming! Thanks for the reveiw, very much appreciated:D Report Review
Love where this is going. I am naturally good at sports so this is my kind of story. Can't wait to see how this story will progress. Please post more soon.
CheersAuthor's Response: Yay! Thank you so much for leaving me such a lovely reveiw. I guess you can really relate to Nora haha! Report Review
Hi! I've enjoyed reading this chapter. It's short and sweet and nicely introduces everything. I'm actually the artist working on your banner right now. but reading this is a lot is a lot more fun :)
I really like this story! It helps that my name is Nora :PAuthor's Response: I love the banner! haha, it seems like everytime I request something at TDA it always comes out WAY better than what I thought it would:D great job on it! And I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter:D Report Review
Hehe...I LOVE this! You have a really nice writing style, and the plot is really good so far. Poor Annora though, she fainted? While on a broom? Hopefully James will catch her :D
10/10Author's Response: im so glad you love it :D Report Review
I though i woudl check out the link i saw you put up on the thread, and well, here i am :)
Below are a couple of things which coudl be improved on:
Medium shade of brown hair, straight, with medium shade brown eyes.
- I'm not sure the word "medium" works here. It's not a particularly good adjective. I woudl recommend "mousy" for hair, or plain brown" for eyes. Just something different so that it isn't too repetitive and weird sounding.
My arms uncrossed, I mean nothing is ever really final anyway, right?
- this just didn't make sense. I think the punctuation was weird, or there was a word missing.
the caption, James Potter
- I think we both agree that James Potter, 1st or 2nd, is most certainly not a caption.
I've never seena shot
- yeah, just don't forget to take a second look before posting. I do that all the time, and then i have to go back again and wait a billion years in teh queue to fix it =_=
And now to teh good stuff! Well, for a guy, you write a girl very well. Annora (btw, is there some meaning behind teh name, or did you just find it pretty?) sounds like a girl, and really down to earth and normal, so yay! I do liek the way the story line is going, and i'm really glad you went with "Beat it" as a title, it's very fitting. But don't forget to credit whoever inspired the name, i think they woudl appreciate it.
I am looking forward to more chapters, and i am definitely favouriting! i hope you get a banner soon!Author's Response: ah thank you so much! This is what happens when I submit stories at midnight when im exhausted haha. I appreciated this so much, so I'm going back to fix everything and then going on with the next chapter:D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection