This was the cutest thing I've read in a long time! I loved your relationship between Ron and Hermione. I expect Ron would be a bit of a slob, having been used to Mrs Weasley doing all his washing and such, and then house elves at Hogwarts. So I think it probably would all be left for Hermione to do.
Then Hermiones reaction was just perfect. I loved her thoughts as she was spring cleaning and her diary, especially the first entry, sounded like an eleven year old girl was writing it - which is really really good.
I am slightly worried that Hermione ended up skipping lunch (not healthy!) but I loved Ron comming back too, and her little realisation abotu Ron needing time. It was all together beautiful in ever respect and I really enjoyed it :D
Acrules - Ravenclaw :)Author's Response: Thank you so much. This is one of my personal favorites and it was so much fun to write. I was a newlywed when I wrote this, and I can only imagine this is the result of years of marriage between these two.Ahh, I just love these guys as a couple. So dynamic!!
Anyways, I appreciate you taking the time, and leaving the thoughtful review. Best wishes to you!!
-schoenemaedchen Report Review
I'm pretty sure that I giggled with excitement like a little school girl when I saw that you requested a review for this on the forums. No one had asked me to do a R/Hr story (not even a one-shot) but you did! Which totally made me prejudiced to this to begin with ;).
I do actually love Ron and Hermione not just as a pairing but as individuals. I think you did a really excellent job of keeping them both in character for majority of the time. Hermione's little mental talk about dust bunnies and such seemed a bit odd for Hermione but she's a nutcase (as Ron once said I think) and its believable. Ron did not have as much of an apperance as a presence in the one-shot. Hermione's thoughts of him were very spot on and his general state of being was good.
I liked the light-hearted nature of it all and I liked that you wrote a one-shot about something that isn't typically written about--how Hermione would react once the kids were out of the house.
I also really liked Hermione's projects (the book especially) because it seems very Hermioneish...to have mutliple jobs or have had multiple careers.
Your pacing and flow worked for the story; you made day seem longer than an actual day but it didn't strech out unrealistically. You certainly have a certain gift for character development and plot to create such a neat little one-shot. Well done!
I think I may have seen a typo or two so I'd just reread this in case of any grammatical issues; it was nothing so big that it drew my attention away from the plot though!
LMWAuthor's Response: I'm glad I could bring you a smile to your face. I'm thrilled when I get a Ron and Hermione story as well. They seem to be quite rare nowadays.
This was such a ridiculously fun one-shot to write. Its the only one shot I've written that I sat down in one session to write. I think that's partly why it has that special little bit of flair. Where else would you see Herm go crazy about dust bunnies?
I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review. :)
-schoenemaedchen Report Review
I read this story a long time ago, but I never reviewed :) Anyway, I really liked the story, especially since it seemed like it had the perfect little touch of ron/hermione and their 'skillfullness' as you could call it in arguing. And the diary moments were very well written as well. The ending line really did tie it up and wrap it all together. 10/10!
-ronhermione4evrAuthor's Response: Aww, thanks so much for reviewing. This has been a week of surprise reviews, so it's been a very big "smile" week for me :)
I really appreciate it. I really loved writing their argument,(can I say that?) I think there is just so much to work with!
-Katie Report Review
I'm pretty sure I validated this. It is extremely familiar. At the very least I've read it before, but I must not have reviewed it, so I'm sorry about that!
I really like this story. I remember thinking how good it was the first time I read it, too. You nailed Hermione's characterization, and Ron's too, though that's less prominent than Hermione's simply by virtue of screentime. This is one of my favorite ships, and I love portrayals of them as a married couple. This is a particularly elegant example of the Ronmione marriage :) Really lovely writing. Very much enjoyed re-reading the story.Author's Response: No prob! I imagine validaters just get overwhelmed, leaving reviews does kind of become a side thing.
Whatever the case, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I enjoyed writing it, that's for sure. I also love portrayals of married couples, but I've always loved Ron and Hermione's dynamics. I think they have such a fascinating relationship.
I really have tried to turn this story into a short story collection, but I just can't get the same effect . This story worked so incredibly well! Maybe someday.
Thanks so much for reviewing!!
-Katie Report Review
Hello! Let me say I am so so so sorry it has taken me this long to leave a review! Summer has just flown by and I'm trying to catch up!
I really enjoyed reading this. I'm a huge Ron/Hermione fan, it's one of my favorite ships, and I think you did a great job portraying their relationship. Everything that happend made sense for the characters. You have a good grasp on the specific voices of Ron and Hermione, which is definitely a hard thing to do since they are such distinct characters.
My favorite part would have to the diary entries. Hermione never really struck me as a diary-keeping kind of girl, but what she wrote was just so adorable. How she had to think for hours just to realize she was in love- soo hermione (:
I also loved when she dumped all his stuff on him in the shower! That was halarious and she had some great logic behind it ;)
I think you've got a good thing going here, and I think this could branch off into a lovely short story collection.
10/10Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by. I get it with summer AND reviews. Life does get in the way. The point is, you came :)
I absolutely love the dynamics of Ron and Hermione. I love how they are different, yet work together somehow and I love writing about it. I'm glad it came through.
I debated a while on the Hermione-Diary thing. A lot of people think it fits, some people think ...well OK.you did, so whatever. I'm glad I did, though.
I'm ready to expand the short story.but I'm having trouble getting a second one-shot that worked so incredibly well as this one! I'm almost done with my Lily and James novel, so I was thinking about starting a Ron/Herm novel, slightly centered around the diaries. Lots of big decisions for me to come!
Anyways, thanks so much for your time and reviews. As always, I really appreciate it! Report Review
Aw. I thought that was really cute, and sweet. I really loved the diary entries, espeically the first one. I liked hwo it captured Hermione's first thoughts of Hogwarts and hwo she was hoping for friends.
One thing I have to say, though, is that Viktor is spelt wiht a 'k', but you spelt it with a 'c'. It's nothing too major, I just wanted to point it out.
I'd love to see more Ron/Hermione moments from you. This one was really good, and I'd love to see what else you coudl come up with! Great job, and keep up the good work!Author's Response: Oh wow! Good catch with the K! I'll get that fixed soon :)
Thanks for the review! I'm surprised, a lot of people really like the diary entries. I'll have to incorporate those into more stories in this short story collection :)
Thanks for taking the time to review, I appreciate it ;D
-schoenemaedchen Report Review
Hi Estelle Black (MissSpitfire) on the forums here with your review.
i really liked this story it was interesting her finding her old diary and reading over it, i remember when i kept a diary when i was younger, could never keep them going so i just gave up. anyway this was a brilliant story with a great ending.
thank you for requesting me to read this i really enjoyed it
Estelle XAuthor's Response: I'm pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for taking the time to review. Report Review
Ok so this was seriously majorly cute. BEWARE OF CUTENESS WHEN ENTERING THIS STORY! And I'm really not just saying this as an avid Ron/Hermy-er. You got the characterizations down pat, and you expanded on a certain personality trait that may have seemed as if it would have made them incompatible, but really, it's what makes them even more of a good match. You picked up on this and you portrayed a window of their lives very accurately!
Everything really just seems so canon. And the descriptions painted quite a vivid picture in my mind -- for instance, the whole part when she was dressed in overalls and had a handkerchief in her hair -- I smiled quite a lot at that part!
And Hermione's diary -- that does sound like something she would have said. I actually would've liked to have seen some more diary entries! That could've made this fic fun :) Not that it was not already, haha. It would have been so interesting to see what else she was thinking at a certain time that was unknown to us...
But anyhow, overall really good job with this, and I'm so sorry for the delayed review! From one ronmioner to another! :):) keep up this awesome, cute work! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! As I mentioned, I'm thinking about making this one shot into a short story collection...more diary entries surely to come. :) I like to play off those smalls scenes that we don't know about but that very plausibly could have happened.
Here's to catching more windows in the future!
Thanks for taking time to review :) Report Review
This was a great story! I really love your style of writing. :)Author's Response: Awww, well thank you very much!!! Thanks for taking the time to write :) Report Review
I think this is an awesome start to your collection of stories about Ron and Hermione.
I was pretty surprised she was crazy enough to dump Ron's clothes onto him while he was in the shower. It's perfectly like her but dramatic enough to definitely bother him! I liked getting to see your interpretation of what's been happening with the kids, etc, as she cleans through their rooms, etc. The thing that made me like this so much is the fact that when I clean (even though I hate cleaning, unlike her) is that I do exactly what she did - reminisce about the past, read through old diaries, etc.
To me, the diary entries gave this an authentic feel. I love when they made up at the end. This story just feels "real" to me. It could definitely be any happy couple's story. :)Author's Response: Thanks! This is very encouraging. I was hoping to write many other similar stories like this. I don't want these cliche life moments to be the main topic of the story, but more in the back ground. I want to focus more on how those moments in life kind of find you in odd moments, like when you're cleaning.
Thanks for taking the time to write a thoughtful review! Report Review
Hey it is RandomRed from the forums.
I don't normally read Ron/Hermione even though I like them as a couple but I'm glad I read it.
How she found her diary read about the old times and realised that she was in the wrong was so sweet. I really liked it.
I think you characterisation was spot on for both of them. Hermione always does remind me of a Monica from friends type lol and Ron has always been messy.
I didn't see major Grammar problems but you never know i may have missed some.
I liked this story even though it wasn't something i'd normally read
xxxAuthor's Response: Hi there,
I appreciate you taking the time to review. I know how it is to be a reviewer and to read stories that are not usually my thing, but just the same, I'm glad you enjoyed it, as well as the characterization :)
Thanks for taking the time to write!! Report Review
Awww! Adorable! Listen to Granger Danger from A Very Potter Musical and Lumos Flies by All Caps.Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Marvelous! I loved this little fic, especially since it's Ron/Hermione. They're definitely my favorite couple in the series (followed closely by James/Lily, of course).
Your first and last lines were both powerful and captivating! The first line drew you in immediately with that familiar "typical Hermione" feeling, where you just want to chuckle at how silly she is. The last line--well it summed up the whole bit perfectly. Kudos to you there!
The diary bit was definitely my favorite, even though I'd been expecting something like it since she started cleaning the house. Perhaps because it was predictable, or perhaps because that's what I do when I'm cleaning. It takes me hours to get through one drawer because I find bits of paper from high school that I just -have- to read.
It was definitely cute, nonetheless. And the conclusion she pulled from it, that Ron needs time, was just what she needed to get over her petty anger. I think if it had only been about how she loved him, it wouldn't have made -much- of a difference as she already knew she loved him. She'd probably forgive him then, but the next time they fought it would be the same thing all over again.
I wonder if it would be beneficial to add a couple other diary segments about Ron--when he made her cry in 1st year, etc. Maybe just to boil her anger a little bit more before she found the entry about her falling in love with him.
But maybe not. ^^
There were a few sections where I thought the flow was off, and I can't really point it out or tell you why (which I know is extremely unhelpful) but there were some places where it seemed like a hitch in the fabric.
Uhm...let's see...I think I've found one:
"She'd since acquired spectacles, her eyes weakened somewhat after years of substantial reading."
I know that the line is relevant to what it going on but it just seems...out of place. Here is the information that the reader is given: She sits down to read the diary, she has glasses, the diary is nostalgic.
Doesn't that seems off to you? The fact that the line about her glasses is a statement makes it stand out as an important piece of information rather than a passing feature. Perhaps if you added it to the former paragraph like this:
Hunger forgotten, she took the diary with her downstairs and curled up in her reading chair. Taking her spectacles from the side table drawer, a necessity she had acquired over the years of her nose being pressed in a book, she pushed them up the bridge of her nose and turned the page.
Or something not quite so horrendous as that. >.>
Besides those bits, I think everything else is wonderful. I truly enjoyed this read! Bravo! :D
DemAuthor's Response: Way to make my day with that review!! Thanks so much!! I have thought about tweaking this piece a bit, but I'm always afraid to. I think your input is extremely helpful and insightful :)
Will have to just wait and see if I get the courage to tweak :)
Hey! It's Broomsticks here with your prizes from the Schools of Witchcraft and Wizardry challenge. I'm SO sorry they are horrendously late, it's really bad of me and I feel very guilty about it. Hopefully it's true that things are better late than never! :)
I'm really glad my challenge gave me the oppurtunity to read this because I really enjoyed it! I thought it was very well written and Ron and Hermione's characterizations were really good.
I liked the background to this story, for example the mention of the kids really added a lot of realism to the story and made them seem like a real family.
I really liked the twist of Hermione finding her diary - I thought that was brilliant! And it was so sweet to see them brought back together by something Hermione wrote when she was much younger. I loved how she stumbled across it in the attic and she realised she had been wrong - because at the beginning it says she refused to admitt it.
I loved the idea of this story. I love Ron/Hermione and this was so sweet. I loved the idea of her doing some Spring Cleaning which brought them back together, because it seemed so simple and real.
The ending was really funny and a good twist! I really enjoyed reading this =)Author's Response: We are all busy!! I know how it goes. I've been neglecting fanficiton because of life...I mean, I'm in the process of moving right now...totally understand.
Thanks for your input though. Everything you enjoyed about this story is everything I loved writing. It was a truly a lot of fun :) Thanks so much for writing! Report Review
I love this story! Very good characterization of both Ron and Hermione. :)Author's Response: Aww, thanks for reading! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review :) Report Review
Hello! RonNiffler here from forums!
So sorry about the long wait, time just got away from me. But I'm here now!
Ohhh! First paragraph you've already reeled me in to want to read more! Super excited to see what would make her hate a day so much!
'Her darling husband had always had a bit of a temper' No kidding! Hehe!
'To kill as many dust bunnies as possible' NOT THE DUST BUNNIES! Hehe! Great line! How did you ever think of it? =)
A small warning, the begging can be a bit slow in parts. This is totally fine, but just be careful you don't loose your audiences' attention.
I for one hate cleaning! Who ever knew I'd enjoy reading about it!
Wow! She has a diary! I never thought about that before, but it kind of makes sense Hermione needing to vent her feelings!
'I'm in love with Ronald Weasley' Ahw! That's so cute!But girl better know Ron is my man! =)
Great ending! And very great story!Author's Response: :) This story just came to me one day. Perhaps it was the approach of spring or the fact that my apartment desperately needed to be cleaned...but whatever the case this story is the result.
I'm happy that you've enjoyed reading it! Thanks so much for the review. Report Review
Very cute story. I enjoyed listening to Hermione's thoughts. The good old value of patience... One of the reasons I like Hermione's character so much!Author's Response: Aww thanks! I really appreciate the review and the compliment! Thanks for reading. Report Review
that was really good and cute!Author's Response: Thanks :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Report Review
Hey! I'm here from the forums with your review. (:
All right. So I really liked this one-shot. It was sweet, but it kind of took a long time with exposition. I don't know, maybe it's just me? I was wondering what the... not 'point', but it's the first thing that comes to mind, was. That said, I really liked the story. (:
I loved how you had Hugo and Rose have differences, but not be complete carbon copies of their parents. It seemed that you were saying that while Rose is kind of OCD, she's also hormonal, something Hermione didn't really act on in the books (to my rememberance, at least.) And Hugo is messy, but got crazy about cleaning, as well as adoring Muggles like Arthur. Or perhaps I read into it wrong. *shrug* Either way, I really enjoyed it.
Oh! Before I forget. (: I love your summary, how you slightly break the fourth wall, and mention the fact that it's a story? I love original summaries. (:
I really liked how this was suggestive, but not overly so. It didn't say anything Hermione wanted to... do..., but it didn't gloss over the fact that Ron IS her husband, either.
I also liked how she poured his clothes on him, comparing him to a pig. That part seemed to really set the scene well; it's not that serious of a story (I hope I didn't offend you by saying that), it's humorous.
Speaking of that, I loved the humor! This had me laughing so hard, so many times. (: I loved the line "... enough crumbs to potentially reincarnate a whole loaf of bread." It made me laugh, and much of the humor came from the fact that Hermione *would* think these things. She's really clever, and many of her funny moments were so. What I'm saying is that you got her (and Ron) really in character. It felt like an extension of the books, to be honest.
Hmm. I wrote down that I didn't think she should know the reason for her being so rude to Ron, but after reading that she mentioned it for the past six months, I'm not sure. That kind of threw me off, though; whenever I've been really mad, I haven't been thinking about why I'm mad, I've been thinking of how to best get the person I'm mad AT to realize why. I think if she had mentioned it later, it might have worked, but it didn't where it was.
I liked the little details you put in. Like, her books were by dust bunnies, so she felt the NEED to clean. And she wrote a memoir. The little Hermione-ish details really made the piece seem more rounded. (:
I normally don't really like 'diary' stories, but I thought this one made sense; she had a reason for finding it, and it knocked some sense into her child-deprived head. (:
I really adored this. (: There were a few minor things that bugged me, but your grammar/spelling was great, and there wasn't anything that bad.
Great job! I know it's not easy to write Ron and Hermione in canon. o.o
-JasmineAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for really taking time to write this review. It's extremely thoughtful...It was my first one-shot and first time writing Ron and Hermione, so it was a big step. Or rather...I was struck by inspiration while doing a few things around the house.
I think a lot of inspiration for the story came to me as a newlywed as well. I've been married now just under a year and it was kind of frun thinking about how they would go through stuff as a married couple. Things change so much between school and growing up.
The whole timing thing about her being mad, and why, and the empty nest syndrome has been a comment by some other people too. I'm not sure if I want to change it...partly because people all handle anger differently...but on the other hand, since people have mentioned it more than once you gotta look at it objectively.
Anyways, your review gave me a BIIIG smile. Thanks again for taking the time! Report Review
Ah- that was really cute - I quite enjoyed it. Nicely done!Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!! :) Report Review
This was such a cute story!Author's Response: Awww, thanks so much! I appreciate the comment! Report Review
Okay, you've acheived a miracle here -- you've managed to make cleaning entertaining to read! I am in complete seriousness.
Of course, this entire oneshot was entertaining to read. It was so in character for Hermione to just dump Ron's mess onto him while he was in the shower, it was hilarious. Both Hermione and Ron are characterized brilliantly.
Any grammar issues are very few and far between, and most likely typos.
There were two bits that confused me, though:
When she's reading the first diary entry, about her first day at Hogwarts, the first half of it is in second person, and the second half is in first person. Was it meant to be this way, and am I totally missing something?
And this line:
It'd only been half a year since the kids had gone to school and he was positive it was that which had caused her to be extremely testy.
Half a year since the kids had gone to school? I thought that they had recently left. So, is this just a day when Hermione is missing her children, or is it around Sep. 1st? That part was just a bit unclear to me.
Those two points aside, though, this was a marvelous read! Hilarious all over.
*9/10*Author's Response: First and foremost, thank you for the review and thanks for taking the time to write something so thoughtful.
As for the diary, I believe that a diary is kind of person's place to just put whats in their head. Details such as First/Third person are pretty insignificant. So I didn't focus so strictly on details there. In fact, I was pretty aware of writing it like that.
I had the story originally as "fresh out of the nest syndrome"...the kids had only been gone about a month. If I did that though, it wouldn't be 'spring' cleaning though :-P SOO I changed it kind of last minute. It's quite possible that I've overlooked a few details that are contradictory to this. I'll take a second look.
Once again, thanks for this. This was actually my very first one shot, but it was so enjoyable to read and I'm thoroughly glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
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