Ooh werewolf story woot! And that was a spooky intense beginning. Great start!
-Sandy Report Review
Oh Molly, must you be so brilliant? I'm continually amazed by how FAST you write, and how effortlessly you slip between styles. I actually stalked your page for some Lily/James fluff as inspiration for my collab piece, but did a little happy piece to see this!
I will agree, I think the second half falters a little bit, there's just a lot to take in in this chapter. I think the Nate section maybe could have waited for the next. But all in all, I loved this chapter, you took the story in a direction I didn't see it going, and I got ridiculously excited to see Regulus Black, even if he never comes back again.
I loved how you worked in the dream again and again, and I think you've got the makings of a loverly story here loff! Will stay tuned!
xx Report Review
Molly my dear I love your banners, but this one is especially good, Carey looks tougher and believably a member of the Order. And I am continually amazed by the sheer range of styles/genres/tones you juggle; you slip in and out of them making it look effortless!
Ok a few quibbles to get out of the way first: here in "Had the bile not been burning the back of her throat and had the calloused hand" I just personally felt the 'the' jarring, I would leave off the first one and make the second an 'a'. Another thing that will expose me for the stalker I am is that this "Dragging her tongue across her bottom lip" is something you use a lot (CW I think, maybe elsewhere, not sure) and its one of those things about writing which you really do need an outside perspective to realise :P
It's teasingly short, with a killing ending that should ensure any reader with a scrap of taste will read on. Playing with the audience and making us initially think First Man was Evil worked beautifully to evoke emotion, especially when our relief was short lived.
Molly, I REALLY enjoyed reading this, you really have so much skill as well as talent. When you start publishing in RL I demand notification!
♥ Jo Report Review
That was my reaction when I first read and is still my reaction now. There is something so unnerving, eerie and intriguing about this opening that I don't think anyone would be able to stop reading after merely one chapter.
I haven't actually reread properly (as am tired :P ) so recalling from the skim read and my last read, I can safely say that the horror aspects, the mystery aspects and the angst aspects are all safely installed even in this tiny chapter.
Is there anything you can't write??
xxAuthor's Response: Oh, Rachel, you're so silly.
I'm glad the horror, the mystery, and the angst bled through; it was my intention, after all.
And yes, there are quite a few things I can't write, such a humour and, you know, a complete story :P
Thanks for your review, my dear. ILY. *squish* Report Review
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