I love how you introduced the character! I like doing that as well! If gives the readers a glisp at the people they will be reading about! I forward to reading the rest!

-Kattia

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll have the next chapter up next year.

x Ely

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Hey! I think that you have a great start and you should update again soon!! Please? :D

Author's Response: I've got the next chapter halfway done so I just need to finish it off.

x Ely

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Hey this looks very promising, I also am excited for the charcter to be called Adelaide, thats my name! And im from Australia too! Look forward to seeing more from this :)

Author's Response: Well thank you so much for reading this! Very pretty name :) Aussies rule! I'll defintely work on it.

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Hello! Autumn here from the forums with your review.

I really liked this Prolouge, so much so I'm adding this to my favorites!

You wrote it great. But you wanted a review on "flow and characters." So, heres what I have to say:

I really loved the way you described each of the girls. I can really get a clear picture of how they look and there personailtes. (even though there names are hard to pronouce) They are all so differnt from one another. I wonder how that will play in with plot...hmm... can't wait to see what happens next.

As for the flow of this prologue, I found it was pretty good in my opinion. Even though you jumped from one girl to the next. But hey. your introducing them in clever way!

I will most defiantly continue to read on. I can't wait to see what happens next, and I hope you liked my review!

Thanks for requesting! (:

~Autumn
{8/10}

Author's Response: Hello Autumn!

Well thank you so much. I have a bit of an obsession with describing my characters in absolute detail. Thank you so much for your lovely review and I'll try and get the next chapter up soon.

Thanks for filling my request!

x Ely

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Awesome prologue! Can't wait for the first chapter :)

Author's Response: thank you so much. i hope to have it out in a few weeks. thanks for reviewing.

x Ely

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I did indeed like this!
Lovely beginning (:
Write more! :D

Author's Response: ahh really?
I have to be honest I hated this chapter and I don't think I will continue with it. Sorry

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I think that this story has promise and I can't wait to see what you have in store for all of the characters in this story. I'll for sure be back to read the chapters after this one.

Author's Response: thanks for reading and leaving a review. It's greta to know people actually read my stories. :)

x Ely

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Not bad for a start but there are a few grammatical things. When you're writing dialogue, there should be a comma before the end of the quotation. For example, where it says "Fine" Adelaide groaned, it should say "Fine," Adelaide groaned. Of course, this doesn't apply to questions/exclamations, just to statements. It's a little thing but it does tend to take away from the story a bit, so I thought I would let you know so you can look out for it when you're writing. I do like it thus far, so keep going(:

Author's Response: Hey thanks for pointing that out for me :) I'm not really happy with this story at the moment so I may re-write later on. I'm just getting used to being out of hospital so my mind was really else ware while I was writing this. Thanks for the review though.

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