Reading Reviews for Memories Of Our Own
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by toomanycurls Without You...

19th November 2013:
Hello!!

I love Lily/Marauder stories. I'm torn between liking Sirius or Remus more as her pairing (when people write her with anyone other than James). It's always so clandestine and adds complication to the James/Lily story.

Ugh, this was so heart wrenching and beautiful. (The ugh was the sound of my heart breaking into pieces.)

I can see why Sirius would have clung onto his relationship with Lily. I never got the impression that his home gave him a loving environment. Lily might have been his first time really feeling loved (by a chick).

It's so interesting that they had such polar views of how their relationship was going. Lily didn't seem to think of him as a serious contender where Sirius was ready to dig into a serious relationship.

The last few lines with the "what's different now" and him walking into nothing were gut wrenching. Ahh.

If you ever want to make this a short story series - you could do one about Sirius being mad with jealously over James' relationship with Lily. (hint, hint)

Lovely story!

-Rose

Author's Response: Oh geez, this story is so old, and definitely not my best work, but thank you so much for the lovely review!

But, I definitely agree, it just adds so much to the Lily/James story, although, it makes it complicated, as it could lead to issues in the future.

I'm sorry I broke your heart.:( *hugs* to help!(:

See, my Sirius was a player, but I think Lily was just different for him. In fact I believe Lily to be different for everyone, she just seems like such a charismatic, and caring character, I find it hard for anyone to hate her.
Again, I think Lily saw Sirius for the person he was before her, therefore the polar views. Where as Sirius was ready to be actually serious in a relationship, and Lily just can't see him being serious with her.

Haha, thats a lovely idea, I think I'll just have to think about it more. I haven't wrote marauder era in a long time.:P

Thank you so much for your praise though, it definitely means a lot to me!(: You are definitely too kind!

~Katie


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Review #2, by Katie Without You...

12th December 2011:
aw sirius

Author's Response: I know, but it really is for the best! Cheers!

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Review #3, by LilyFire Without You...

5th May 2010:
I liked this. It seems too be really interesting. But what made her change her mind.

Author's Response: Thats the story!^.^ Thanks for your lovely comments!

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Review #4, by xkaittloveex Without You...

11th April 2010:
Hello, xkaittloveex from the forums here to review your story!

First, I'm going to start off with some constructive criticism so that I can get the negatives out of the way quickly. You had some minor errors - punctuation and spelling - just little things. I'll point some out for you so you can go back and fix those pesky suckers up!
- "climging"; I'm guessing this should be "clinging."
- I don't want to "make memories of my own"!; The ending punctuation always goes inside the quotation marks, for future reference.
- You forgot some periods at the ends of your sentences.
So I think those are the only little things that I caught onto!

Now, onto the positives. What an interesting pairing - Sirius and Lily. IDK why but I feel like I would have really liked them together. Sirius is one of my favorite characters and I really love the idea of Lily, so maybe, just maybe...so bravo there! I've never read anything with Sirius/Lily as the main pair but I will be sure to look into some soon. I really liked it.

I LOVED the way this story was formatted. With Lily's words italicized and Sirius' thoughts directly after every line she spoke. Ah, how interesting and such a lovely way to set it up! I thoroughly enjoyed it and I'd love to see another story written like this by you on the future. It was awesome.

I also liked the quote you had to use...I liked it A LOT. And I like how you interpreted it, too! So prop for that.

Overall, I'm going to give this a 6/10 because it's definitely above average. Grammar/punctuation things drive me insane so by fixing up those errors the score would definitely go up! I also feel like the plot could have been deeper/more intense. That's not an negative comment at all but with the deeper the plot, the higher the score (in my reviews, at least.) But, I really thought this was a cute one-shot and please feel free to re-request from me whenever! Keep up the awesome work.

- Kaitlin

Author's Response: Thank you for pointing out the errors here! I really should look into somethings and really fix them. =o.o=

Actually, I've read several stories like this and they're all wonderful. If you'd live some super amazing ones, just look at timeturner's stories! They're fantastic!:D

I actually had a friend suggest to that. THe italicized words. I thought it was a neat idea so thats what made this story.

I adored that quote. It made for a great story in my opinion. :)

I will most definatly fix thoose errors, and if I ever get the time, I will thicken the plot. I think your right. It doesn't really have a deep plot. The plot just brushes the surface, and really it should have a better meaningful plot.

Again, thank you for taking the time to review this and I will definatly re-request you again! :D


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Review #5, by Niki :) Without You...

18th March 2010:
Aw! This is so sad! :( It's really good, though. I love how you have his responses only as thoughts instead of him saying it. It gives me hope that maybe in later chapter he'll actually say how he feels so I want to keep reading! :P The only thing I can think to correct on this is your grammar and stuff like that, but that's only because I'm just a little bit OCD but you know that haha. :)

Author's Response: You're too OCD my love. You just need to chill out and enjoy the story! :)

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Review #6, by Artemis Without You...

7th March 2010:
Would you mind if I translate your story on Polish Site? Of course, I would write the link to the original story. I'm waiting for your answer.

Author's Response: No. Not at all. Thanks for doing that! :)

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Review #7, by hplover123 Without You...

4th March 2010:
Aww no way! thats so sad, i wish all guys were like him, great one-shot, loved it =)

Author's Response: Aw.. Thanks! Yeah me too! :P If all guys were like that, things would be so much easier! Glad ya liked it! :D


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