I love reading your stories because they always open my eyes to things I have never read, or really seek out! This might be due to the fact that my reading window doesn't stray much from my favourite pairings.
Anyway, this first chapter was great. I always loved the ideas of the paintings in the books. I mean, talking paintings that can move from frame to frame. Can I be turned into one, please? I loved that they gossiped too! If I was a painting, I would too! I'd probably be the biggest gossiping painting that hid in various parts of the castle's paintings to hear as much as possible.
The Fat Lady is great, from the beginning, I loved her sarcastic demeanour. She and Vi were great too. I love the 'voice' that you have given her. Her voice here fits that from the books when we get those brief bits of dialogue from her.
I was a bit confused when reading due to the two parts broken up, but then I realised I was a fool because I misread and thought it was a one-shot, when really it was a WIP. Ha!
My only bit of crit is that I would have personally liked to see more of the whole Sirius episode, maybe more of her thoughts or something. I realise the moment might have just happened VERY quickly, but I dunno, with it being such a vital moment that is memorable, I think you could have gone a bit more in depth. But that's just my opinion.
Great first chapter, this story defiantly is something different and has potential to really go somewhere, Emma!
ColletteAuthor's Response: Terribly sorry for how late this is - I keep forgetting to respond to your last review. XD But thank you so much! I like to write things that make me branch out and try something new, so I'm glad you like reading them. :D
I think we got from the books that Vi was a gossiping old hag, but she is SO much fun to write. XD Especially in the second chapter - oooh, as soon as I get my laptop back there shall be a second chapter, I swear!
I looove FL too - her voice is just so much fun. And I'll take that crit onboard - I wrote this over two years ago (gulp...) so I'll look over it and see what I can do!
Thank you so much for the review, my darling, I swear I'll get to more of yours soon!
- emma xx Report Review
First paragraph: what a way to begin, love it! (I write things down as I read, apologies if it seems choppy.)
Your characterization of Sir Cadogan is wonderful, you haven't strayed from canon at all. That little man was always intriguing, he's just absolutely insane (and a bit daft.)
"Those Weasley twins, however..." Ooh, this may get even more interesting. Also, I love how you set the time just by mentioning Hermione's in her third year. Subtle, yet so crucial.
Ahh, Vi and gossip. Again, your characterization is perfect. And the time setting is shown here again, without being over the top. The third novel is probably my favorite, there's just so much about the series revealed in it.
The Fat Lady's thoughts on Sirius and what's happening makes me wonder if this story will be more than a painting ship. Not even half way through, and I'm already in love with how you write. There is so much detail and subtlety in your writing that a lot of people stuggle with, and, yet, it seems to come so easily for you. I must admit, I am impressed.
Walrus makes me laugh. "Tactful paintstroke" instead of tactful bone, very appropriate.
"one of the bad things about being one of the portraits protecting things was that students (and teachers) relied on you." This is a good point, I'd never thought about that before. And, then, why the Fat Lady? She was never the quietest painting in the castle, wouldn't someone else have made a better guard? Aha, just got to the beginning of Sirius, and this must be why she's the guard. The boy, now man, that she watched grow up is before her, but she is ever the protector of Gryffindor. This scene really gets me liking her a lot more.
Oh, wow. That ending is fascinating. You're a terrific writer, I don't think I've read anything as good as this since I came back (and probably before I left). The way this chapter is written, it's perfectly clear about what's going on, but there's still that magic in nearly every book that creates a world in the readers' heads. I'm happy you posted this story, I wouldn't have found it otherwise. The portraits are exactly like the people of the castle, but they also seem to be an extension of the castle itself. I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of the story, I'm certainly hooked after that chapter.
Good luck with your writing, I'll be looking out for updates (:
and i [I] felt a pang of sympathy for her
No [Not] unless you know the password.Author's Response: Even if I'm so very late at replying to it, you should know now that this review made my YEAR.
'Daft' describes Sir Cad perfectly - and I'll be sure to describe him as such in later chapters. The time period isn't much in question, as Sirius Black plays a highly significant part, and so there's only one year when he, as a mad convict, breaks into Hogwarts and slashes our dear Fat Lady to bits. But I'm glad you're impressed by my accidental subtlety!
I adore Vi - in later chapters, she's really the star of the show (she and Walrus), and I simply love her. She's so much fun to write. I love the third novel as well, but the third movie is my least favourite (though I only really like the first two movies, to be honest, because after that they just destroy the books so utterly I don't know how you COULD like them).
You have no idea how you make me blush! I must admit that I wrote this two years ago (more, in fact) and my writing has been through so many transformations - not many of them for the better - since then that I'm not sure I'll be able to continue impressing you. But I shall try!
Walrus, I think, is my second favourite character after FL herself. XD He's so amusing.
I actually never thought of it like that, but I do think that she wouldn't have been the guardian painting for that long if she hadn't been good at her job - so perhaps I was thinking something like you were, just not exactly.
Gosh, I just have no words to express how large this has made my head. XD Whenever I feel out of writing I shall come back and re-read this review!
And thank you so much for those typos - they've been there for over two years now, and not once in my look-overs have I managed to catch them. Utter failure, I am.
Gosh, I adore you.
- Emma xx Report Review
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