Wow, awesome one-shot!
I don't know why this doesn't have more reviews!
:DAuthor's Response: Awww, thank you so much!! :D Report Review
aw... thats a really sweet one-shot and you have captured the feelings really well :)Author's Response: Thank you! It's hard for me to write serious marauders. Thank you! Report Review
Sorry I'm slightly behind on my thread.
Okay, when you start the story off, you said the "one boy looked far worst than..."- here, instead of saying "one boy" you could say "the blond haired boy", but that's totally up to you, it's just my little input there.
Also in this paragraph, you said "his face was covered with long, thin and his frail" - I think you missed out a word in this sentence.
"legs with decorated with deep welts and scratches"- the first 'with' here, should be 'were'.
When the two of them drink their potions, you wrote "and with protest"- it would make sense if it's 'without protest' as they were silent.
Awe, I had a feeling it was this after that scene before they said anything about Sev, which shows how brilliantly it got me hooked.
I think the ending though really made this story what it is, the two of them were really in character, which is such a hard thing to come by these days with everyone trying to make them popular and handsome. I can actually see them having this conversation, and Sirius' worries of losing his friends is something I could see him thinking of, because his friends were practically his family.
I kind of wished you wrote the scene where James saved Sev out of the tight spot Sirius put himself in, or even had James being in the room for a little bit giving out about the idiotic stunt Sirius tried to pull. I don't, I always saw James playing a big role in this scene of their childhood, because it was he who saved his neck from the werewolf and then Sev owed him one.
I also have to say that I love your characterisation of Remus, wanting to leave so he wouldn't hurt them and thinking he isn't worthy of being around them, he still went on like that even when he was an adult. I feel sorry for him :( poor chap.
I don't think there's anything left to say, just that I wished we could of read a bit more into the scene beforehand, I would love to read it. :)Author's Response: *blushes* I'm so incredibly sorry for taking so long to respond to this. Sorry, sorry, sorry...
Thank you so much for pointing out those typos; I go back and fix them as soon as possible.
I have to say that I love writing angsty marauders, even if it is a million times harder than writing them comically. Sirius - I love writing about him. He's a much more complex character than he's given credit for.
It would be really interesting to write that scene. It honestly never occured to me to include it. Maybe I'll go back and add it. James is also a favorite of mine to write. :)
Aww, yes, poor Remus. He always seemed like the self-flagellation, self-sacrificing type.
Thank you so much for your wonderful review!! I appreciate it so, so much. And who knows? Maybe I'll add in that scene. Once again, thank you!! Report Review
Amazing. Brilliant. Emotional.
Don't know what else to say. But you can officially consider me a fan of your work.(:Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!
Wow! I have fans! *jumps up and down* Thank you! Report Review
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