Hey, I thought this was a very nice first chapter and it certainly has made me want to continue reading :) Report Review
Great im not a big oliver fan but this story really pulled me in thanx o maggie Report Review
I don't like her dad.
Her dad is awful, at least at the moment he is. People can surprise you, even if they are fictional.
Anyway! I really love this story!
Update soon?Author's Response: Yes, he is terrible to her- that's the reason why she has so many trust issues. The next chapter is actually in the process of being validated, and it's certainly an eventful one! Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Report Review
Aww!! That was so sweet! now marianne can use her kiss with oliver as her happy memory, and then she can do a patronus! yay!!
update soon?Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'll update as soon as I can take a break from studying for my finals and completing other homework assignments! Report Review
I just saw that you didn't have any review for this chapter, and I felt really guilty! I think that maybe I read this chapter, and then added this to my favorites with out reviewing, and I felt bad, because I always try and review my favorites!
But I reallly do like this story! It's probably one of my favorite oliver oc stories! I can't wait to see what happens next! Report Review
Love the story!
Marianne definitely isn't a character I'm used to, that's for sure! Even Oliver, usually he's more stubborn and arrogant.. different, makes me like them more ;)Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Things might change as the Quidditch season continues, however... Report Review
The kiss was sort of abrupt, in beginning and ending. But this chapter was overall pretty good. I like that you are keeping to canon as best as possible with PoA.Author's Response: Your reviews are well thought-out and inspiring. As for the ones regarding the first few chapters, Marianne is a character who is originally fairly flawed (being judgmental and a bit of an elitist). But throughout her seventh year, she changes into a better person: one who can trust more easily and have more of an open mind.
Agreed, the kiss could have been introduced into the story better, and I'll definitely try to improve Oliver/Marianne interactions in the future :). Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
The bit with with Oliver and Marianne confessing their feelings or whatever for each other was a little too sweet. For me, anyway. Perhaps you shouldn't take my opinion on it. I'm the type of girl who gags during overly romantic chick flicks, haha. And for some reason I have a bad feeling about this Ian guy. We'll see. Report Review
So John really is her dad? Okay. I think I understand everything now. I thought the bit about Oliver 'mucking things up' was pretty cute(: Report Review
Not a lot happened in this chapter (besides Oliver asking her out. Which was cute.) so I don't have much else to say until I go on to the next chatper. Report Review
I was beginning to think this chapter was going to turn into a cliched mess, but then they didn't kiss at the end. Whew. That would have been bad. Good choice(; Report Review
A plot twist, eh? Interesting. Although I have to say that it could have been better explained. It wasn't outright confusing, but I did have to think about it a bit. If I'm right, Marianne's father (who raised her) is not really her father, but Edgar Bones is. And her father (who raised her) is a Squib. That was the only part that threw me off, I think. when she said "my father's a Squib" I wasn't sure if she was talking about John or Edgar. But I think she was talking about John... And I also don't know why they sent a letter to Remus. Were they friends or something?Author's Response: From what was written in the text, Edgar Bones was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and so was Remus. Whether or not they interacted on a daily basis is unclear, but it could be possible that they had known one another. Perhaps Grace Bones was an exceptionally friendly woman who delivered holiday cards to each member. Sorry for the confusion and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I'm curious as to why Lupin thinks Marianne is familiar... And tutoring Oliver should be interesting. Report Review
I like Bridget. She seems like a good addition as a friend to Marianne. I did think Marianna was a bit too judgmental in this chapter, but perhaps that's just her character? Anywhooo, on to chapter four. Report Review
Hmm... well the only complaint I have for this one is that sometimes Marianne's vocabulary comes off too strong. And by that I mean that she uses a lot of words that, while they work for the situation, are quite uncommon and seem out of place in a story like this. Overall, the effect of her little speeches are right where they should be, it's just that a few of the words can be distracting and occasionally seem... forced. But besides that, this chapter was good. I liked Marianne's thoughts while everyone kept budging into their compartment. Your characters are quite good so far, as well. Report Review
A short first chapter, but a decent introduction to the (home)life of the main character. The only negative thing I would really have to say about the introduction here is that it wasn't really... awe inspiring. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't the most fantastic thing either. It was lacking excitement, as a lot of introductions do. But nonetheless, it wasn't bad and I am still going to go on to the next chapter.
My goal is to review every chapter of your story. I always feel so bad when I read several chapters of a fic and only review once, so I am changing my habits(: Besides, this is an Oliver/OC I do believe, and I cannot resist. Report Review
I absolutely ADORE this story. It is amazing! Spectacular! Brilliant! I have no idea how you came up with such an intriguing character as Marianne. Well, please continue the story. And if you update soon then I will love you forever (:Author's Response: Thanks :). I will update as soon as I can! Report Review
Yay! Oliver/Mary action!
hehe! well I really like your story so far, it is very interesting and I love that you use big words! I can't wait to for the next chapter, and hopefully some more Ollie? Please? : D anyhow I really hope you continue writing this story, because it's very good so far, but can you let us Know what Mary looks like? I feel it helps readers to get into the story and be able to visualize the scenes in the book, and I don't know about you, but I love to visualize what I'm reading! Well, till next time...
-RosieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much!! I definitely plan on continuing with this story because I have so many ideas! Report Review
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