It was soo amazing!!! Please continue it!! 10/10 for sure! Report Review
I really like how this fic is going! The Luna and Sirius pair is really unique and I expect to see more of it!
PS; you're behind the scenes note. If it's kinda like BttF then does that mean Lily will fall in love with Harry? Awkward lol! haha just a thought
10/10 love it! keep on going!Author's Response: No, Lily's not going to fall for Harry. ;) (I think that woudl go against the TOS, anyways) I'm glad that you like this and I've been thinking about going back and editing the story, and maybe adding a new chapter! Report Review
aw sirius has got a crush on looney? how sweet!
peter needs to fall for ginny or something. LOL
moremoremoreAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm not sure if I can continue this story, unless I put it through a major edit! Sorry. Report Review
I like how you have go a bit of Ron/Hermione going on, poor Sirius with Luna, But where is she? I hope becuse she is not in Gryffiondor that she does just disaper till Sirius see her or when they go back, or is she up to something?Author's Response: ah, i just didn't think luna would want to come play quidditch with the rest of them, but rest assured she will appear in the next chapter! :) Report Review
OH My Gosh I love Back to the Future! I just watched it like two days ago! Are you going to make Lily fall in love with Harry?! lol! But i love the chapter. I will loom for updates soon! :DAuthor's Response: I don't think so. lol. Besides, I'm not sure if it would fit with the ToS. More updates should be coming soon! Report Review
This chapter goes by really fast, probly because of all the dialogue. You might want to put in a bit more introspection and/or action. The dialogue is great, but the action/thinking will help pad things out and build the characters's personalities more. I'd imagine there's a heck of a lot going on in Harry's head since he's suddenly seeing his parents constantly. You mentioned this in a previous chapter, but I think there's a good deal more you could do with it. I'd also imagine Hermione would be trying to find a way back home.
I'm picking up a slight Neville/Luna ship vibe. Did you intend that to happen, or is that just my imagination? If it is purposeful, I look forwards to seeing some sort of confrontation between Neville and Sirius.
All in all, this story has a few weak spots, but is very good. I can't wait to see where you go with it from here.Author's Response: It's not just your imagination. There is a Neville/Luna thing going on here, along with the Sirius/Luna thing.
I'm glad you enjoy my story so far. I know that I'll definetly have to go back few and add/remove stuff, which I'll probably do over the summer. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ;) Report Review
I rather liked that bit in James' POV at the end. It'll be interesting to see how close James and Harry get. Aside from that, though, I have to agree with Peter: that was kinda boring. Ah well, sometimes stories need a slow moment every now and then.Author's Response: Yeah, I know. This chapter was rather boring. XP I had a lot of writers block when I wrote that, so it was kind of forced. Glad you liked the end with James and Harry. I really enjoyed writing that. Report Review
I am really enjoying the characterization of Lily and James, especially James. He's got that habit of being endearingly annoying that makes him so darned lovable.
I don't know why, but for a half-second, I was worried there'd be a Marty McFly moment when Harry meets Lily. I'm glad to see my fears were unfounded. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Yeah, you just gotta love James! ;) Anyways, thanks for all the reviews on this story so far! I always get half-scared while readin time-travel fics that there will be a Marty McFly moment, so you're not alone! :) Report Review
Well, of course one of the Marauders has to fall head over heels for one of the Trio's group. Anything else lessens the chance for humorous happenings, right? :D
Seriously, this chapter was good. The only issue I have with it is I felt the bit with Dumbledore moved a touch fast. I can understand why you might want it to, though.Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'll look at the part you're talking about, and see if I can fix it. Report Review
Quite interesting. There's a few typoes, but they're fairly minor. I like how half the chapter was in Luna's POV--probly because I just like Luna as a character. I look forwards to reading the rest of this story.Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm glad that you liekd the story! ;) Report Review
I want to see what happens when they find out harry is thier kid and that they are all from the future and the shock on sirius' face!Author's Response: Thanks for the read and review! ;) Report Review
Good Story so fare
keep on writting
thanks for updattingAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! Report Review
Omg.. It seems like forever since I read the first 4 chapters and then I'm just looking through "recently added stories" and there it was with a new chapter :D i love time travel stories !Author's Response: Thank you so much! I know, I took forever to update. Glad you liked it! ;) Report Review
I have been searching for a story with Luna in the Marauders time! thank you thank you!Author's Response: No rpoblem! Glad I helped! :) Report Review
why haven't you written more? i hve been checking, and i so want to read more. plz plz plz write more!Author's Response: More is on it's way! I promise! Thanks for reading! Report Review
Good story so fare
keep on writtingAuthor's Response: Thank you! Report Review
I like were this is going and I think you have done a great job at geting your point across. I will be looking out for the next one.
I really like the Harry and James talk at the end and how Harry backed by Hermione. I just cant wait till they meet Snape.
LouiseAuthor's Response: Thanks! Chapter Five will be up relativly soon, since I'm working on a one-shot now and a second chapter to a different story (which is almost done.) Report Review
Mmmm I never thought that Lily would have like really no friends, I think she might bring lupin?? But if she was to bring Snape that would just be funny to see play out. Just thought I should say I thought that it was Hermione till Ginny said her name. I can see how someone is going to slip up soon with all the liars.Author's Response: Yeah, six people all trying to live the same lie. Wouldn't that be hard? Thanks! Report Review
Luna and Sirius? I have never read somthing along that line, I would have like to see them explane the whole from the future thing, woulod have been good. I do like how James doesnt know he has a cousin get harry or should I say hank is saying it. Its good to see that you put them all in sixth year and made Ron and Ginny twins. I cant wait to see what Harry dose when he first meets them all I can just see what he will do to Snape.Author's Response: Yeah, I have something planned for when he meets Snape :)
Anyways, thanks again for the review! Report Review
This is an intersting way to go with the end of the book, if I must say. You have done a good job at keeping the characters true, and showing there thoughts. You have done a really good with the explaing how the 'Silver Instrument' worked, the one thing that I thought would be that Hermione may have been upset a bit more but then my favorite line would have to be the one she said to Ron 'Ronald Weasley, this is one of those rare times I agree with you.' I grinned. oh it just made me laugh at the thought of her saying that to him. You did Lunas pov just amazing, not to luppy but not quite nomal just the right mix, and the last line just a great way to end it.
LouiseAuthor's Response: Thanks so much!
I was a little worried about how I potrayed Luna. She's my favourite charcter, but pretty hard to write.
Thanks for the opinions and reviews. They help a lot. Report Review
I love the story!!! and i have a ?. how do you make a banner?Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! You can make banners on programs such as Paint, Gimp and Photoshop. You can also request them on The Dark Arts forums. Report Review
Ha ha pretty good for being just a filler chapter. I'm glad everyone's met. Ohh! A thought just came to mind. Will Harry get to meet his grandparents too? I feel this is rarely explored.Author's Response: Hm... I don't know. Cool idea, though! Thanks for the review! Report Review
I think you have it all right with this story. I believe Ginny and Lily would definitely be good friends. I'd love to explore Harry meeting his parents some more. Interesting read. ;-]Author's Response: Yeah, I always thought Ginny and Lily were sort of similiar. Thanks for all the reviews! ;) Report Review
Yesss! Sirius and Luna please! That'll be interesting. I love your characterizations of Sirius and James. Great story idea overall!Author's Response: Hey, thanks for you opinion on Sirius/Luna! They are my two favourite characters. :D Report Review
Hi there! This was a good start to a story, however, I can see plenty of things you could add to make it even better. There were plenty of descriptions you could've added; we all know Harry has black hair, but how dead-looking were his eyes at the sight of his mentor gone? Did his shoulders sag, or did he try to look strong and stand tall? Was this the worst Hermione had ever seen him, or had he been worse when Sirius died? All these details would greatly enhance the story.
You did well with dialoge, and the story moved along well. You're POV switches weren't exactly necessary (we could've stayed with Harry the whole time, for instance, and been fine) but they ended up working and I had no trouble at all with them.
It was a good idea to use one of Dumbledore's instruments; timeturners bring you back by the hour, and I don't like potion explosions used for time travel because they are really unrealistic. Your way is strong and simple.
Actually, my favorite part of the entire chapter was when Neville shouted "Nargles" and Luna was surprised and pleased. That was cute, and genuine. Moments like that make a story. Anyway, good job here, just keep working on your description, adding those details.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I'm thinking of going back and editing this chapter a bit.
I'm glad you liked the nargles part. It's one of my favourites, too. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection