Reading Reviews for Wildfire
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa Witnessing Sin

19th December 2011:
Hello :)

I'm going to start by saying this is the last review of the 'week one' gift. Any reviews on one-shots that were written and posted before this one are also a part of week one! Sorry I was a wee bit slow with the last three, but time evaded me and homework loved me xD

So this story. Though I'm not a huge Teddy/Rose shipper, I loved this. It put a little bit more of a twist on Rose [not making her the perfect daughter but not totally making her the bad one either]. It really was a different way of looking at Rose. And Teddy's character was good too...going along with something he knew would be wrong was really surprising with him. Definately not the usual way Teddy is in most stories. But I loved him all the same! My only issue was with the second to last paragraph. There were a lot of He/She pronouns and it got confusing when you switched from he to she in that paragraph. It totally could have been me, but word choice editing that a little may help clarify. But other than that bit of confusion on my part, it was good!

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Review #2, by ravenclaw_princess Witnessing Sin

7th September 2011:
Powerful was the first word that came to mind after finishing this story. It really left me feeling emotionally drained as I traveled through Rose's longing, insecurities and self destruction. She may believe she is taking control of her own life, but as the last paragraph said, the act proved herself cold and heartless.

I'm envious of your descriptive talents. The whole story was so beautifully crafted and your use of descriptions and metaphors was so amazing that it really transported me to the night and I felt like I was watching her destroy herself as well as someone else. They all flowed very effortlessly as well and wove such a atmosphere in which the story came to life. There was one sentence though which I really didn't get, maybe it's just me, but it's this one. "The pretence remains, the mask professional and perfect at time when she is in the company of others."

Rose was beautiful, so flawed, so determined, so over run with an insatiable lust that consumed her, leading her to do the unthinkable...selfish girl. Her emotions came through so strongly as well as her motivations. I love the foreshadowing also, I think it added even more powerfully to the wrongness of her actions.

Grammar and spelling were wonderful, flow and pace were perfect. This story is simply breath taking.

Author's Response: Thank you! I have to say, this is one of my favourites that I've written. Maybe I'm biased because it's my favourite ship, but I'm proud of this. You're right - Rose is being selfish and it was nice to explore a new side of her :) thanks for the review!

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Review #3, by adluvshp Witnessing Sin

5th September 2011:
hey there! Well I am AditiDraco95 from the forums and I saw your post in the thread "Review tag", so I am here :D

Anyways, this was breathtaking. I loved it. It was so plain and simple and yet so intense. Rose was characterized perfectly. I loved the flow of her thoughts and emotions. The scene was so vivid. I totally got lost into this while reading the story. The plot was amazing. Over all, I truly loved reading this. It is a brilliant piece of writing. Great job!

10/10

Cheers!
AD

Author's Response: Thank you so much :)

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Review #4, by MajiKat Witnessing Sin

22nd March 2011:
gods marina. this is stunning. why haven't i read it before?
there is so much i love about this. it is so poetically tragic - i can't help but feel sympathy for poor rose - silly girl, to make such a silly mistake, to let lust and selfishness rule over her. i don't know if you wanted the reader to feel this for her or not, but i do. i cannot hate her.

I can almost hate scorpius however, but maybe that is because what he truly feels is not explored, and i kind of like that. i don't hate him - he had a moment of pure weakness.

the opening line of this made me gasp! how incredible and what an image! you truly are amazing! i loved the foreshadowing, i loved the two lines of dialogue - they were perfect and nothing more was needed. simple and real.

amazing work. i think i might favourite this ^_^
ILY

Kate xx

Author's Response: wow, thank you so much Kate! I can't believe I wrote this over a year ago, I'm still pretty pleased with it :D Teddy/Rose is my favourite ship so I enjoyed writing this immensely.

thank you for the lovely review! ♥


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Review #5, by ericajen Witnessing Sin

21st March 2011:
Ooh. So dark and dangerous, Rose is in this. I've never read Rose in this capacity before. I really enjoyed it. The way she was so selfish but uncaring. Seeing Rose characterized so drastically different from the norm was great to read in this. Also, you've made me kind of like Teddy/Rose and I am a proclaimed Teddy/Victoire fan. But this story makes me believe that lots of good can come from other Teddy shippings. But this was just so dark and awesome, I can't help but love it.

This was really something, Marina. I liked it a lot. :D

Author's Response: Teddy/Rose is one of my absolute FAVOURITE ships. You have to read more of them. They have so much potential and Teddy/Victoire can get boring after a while.

I wanted to write something really dark, I really enjoy being a bit evil ;)

thank you so much once again, erica!


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Review #6, by HarrietHopkirk Witnessing Sin

26th May 2010:
This is an incredible one-shot. I really, really like it. :)

Author's Response: thanks so much!

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Review #7, by Cherry Bear Witnessing Sin

16th March 2010:
I'm struggling to find the words to respond to this, but I don't think I can. Nothing I write in a review can possibly be as eloquent as what you have written here, so I shall have to settle for merely getting my point across: this was one of the most powerful well-written pieces of writing I have ever read, and I don't say that lightly.

From the beginning, this story had me captivated. I'm accustomed to wincing at stories that start with lengthy paragraphs and long descriptive sentences; usually they are poorly written and can hardly hold my attention. However, from that first sentence, I was truly and irreversibly hooked. I think it might've been your word choice, or maybe your sentence structure, or something like that that enchants me so; whatever it is, I can't say much about your style of writing except that it is simply amazing.

I found none of your phrases trite or cliched, which is a rarity in fanfiction and fiction alike. You ease into metaphors and personification and other literary devices without making it seem like you're making a desperate attempt to be poetic. The best example I can give of this is Rose's description of her emotional cage - how it's not some complicated metaphor that readers have to strain to understand, how it's simple yet not overdone. Something that I adored equally as much was your use of the present tense; I think the present tense is vastly underrated for how fun it is to write in, and I think that using it made your story much more intoxicating than if it had been in the past tense.

I find myself alternating between despising Rose and completely understanding her actions and emotions, which is definitely a rare occurrence. I think your characterization of her was complex and realistic. Her actions are selfish (and she knows that they are selfish), but she needs the self-assurance; she needs to believe that she can do it, that she can defy people's expectations of her. What scares me the most about this story is that there's a part of me, however small, that is just like Rose - a part of me that wonders if I'm capable of not being who people think I am, a part of me that dares myself to do what I would never even dream of. I think that there is a piece of this in everyone, whether or not they know it, and that is what makes this story so incredible.

Something that really stood out to me in this story was your mention of the stars. I particularly enjoyed the line, "The stars will witness their betrayal," and how you tied that same idea back into the ending. The last line left me with a heavy heart and even heavier contemplations. I thought that your choice of title was especially interesting considering that last line. I've always considered wildfire to represent passion - dangerous, reckless passion that leaves only a trail of guilt in its wake. Your story holds particularly true to that idea of wildfire. And maybe it's just me hunting for symbolism where there is none, but I thought that the ending seemed almost to be saying that that passion, or wildfire, had now fully been extinguished, and she was in darkness. But, as I said, that's probably just me looking much too far into simple lines.

I don't really know what else to say except that I think you're an amazing author. When I get the chance, I'll definitely check out the rest of your stories and leave reviews that will hopefully be much easier to understand than this one (:

Cherry Bear

Author's Response: I really wish I could find the words to tell you how happy this review made me, and how grateful I am that you took the time to review at such great length.

I am the same as you - I often shy away from reading lots of description. Unfortunately, it's what I find easiest to write and i really do appreciate your efforts in reading my story even though it's heavy on the narrative side. I'm completely over the moon that you were hooked, because I think that's how description should work. I hate it when I'm tempted to skip over description even though I know it's so important for a story. And wow - I never really thought about which techniques I was using, in fact I probably couldn't tell you now where I'd used personification or metaphors. But the fact that you found it natural enough really really makes me happy because it's so easy to go overboard with description and it's lovely to hear I didnt do that.

I love present tense! I'm going through a phase of completely adoring it at the moment. I used to be such a past tense sort of girl, but present tense offers a completely different way of writing.

Yes, I think within us all is that strangely selfish, but desperate, nature. I really wanted to make her as human as possible because that's really really hard to do; hearing that you could relate to her is such a joy to my ears (or eyes, in this case!). Also, I think it's fun to hunt for symbolism, even though in my case it's always unintended; I think wildfire for me represents something that spreads quickly and is uncontrollable, just like Rose was in that situation; she was taken over by something rather powerful inside her and she needed to act on it. But yes, in its wake, wildfire leaves that trail of destruction and ... emptiness, or lifelessness. So in a way, your interpretation was spot on. I just hadn't thought of it until now :)

thank you SO much for this review, it's made my week!

- Marina


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Review #8, by Violet Gryfindor Witnessing Sin

13th March 2010:
Hey Marina! This is a very interesting portrayal of the Rose/Teddy ship and a very powerful story, filled with intense and realistic emotion. The beginning was especially moving in how you described Rose's desire - there's a great force to that description that reflects Rose's own determination, and starting with that made your story more compelling.

And where Rose is very clear-cut, Teddy is more vague, but I think that works for the story. Just knowing that Rose is so passionately in love with him is enough - it allows the reader to create their own picture of the sort of person Teddy should be, an ideal man who needs no actual description. His actions later in the story were unexpected (as I'm pretty die-hard with this ship in my own head :P), but they suited your version of Teddy, who seems such an upright guy, not used to breaking the rules.

You mentioned on TGS that you were worried about the flow, and there were a couple things I noticed that disturbed the flow for me. The first was "gut", and though it's probably a personal taste thing, it came as too hard a word in comparison to the softer consonants throughout the rest of that paragraph. Also, because you're very consistent in keeping this story from Rose's perspective, the sentence how fragile she seems was an odd one, as it sounds like it's more from Teddy's perspective - an answer for why he's tempted by her. She's so strong up to that point that I don't think she would feel fragile next to him - young, yes, but her feelings are overwhelming, and fragile would be more of a word I'd attribute to Teddy here, as he's not that hard for her to tempt.

The ending section also seemed slightly off in relation to the rest of the story. It might be because you change focus, getting inside of both Rose and Teddy's heads whereas, before that, you only focused on Rose. I love the language of the last few paragraphs - that part by itself is brilliantly-written - but they don't flow as well with the rest of the story. The vagueness works, it's just the perspective that's disturbing the flow.

I'm not used to being critical in detail in reviews, so sorry if this came off as harsh or confused. I enjoyed reading this, both for its fantastic use of words and its portrayal of the ship. :D

Author's Response: First off, no you didnt come off as harsh! It surprised me to see you even felt like you needed to apologise - you were most helpful.

You know, I never noticed I'd changed perspectives? That was completely unintentional and I'll definitely go back and revise that. It doesn't make any sense for the whole thing to be from Rose's perpective and then to suddenly switch - this is perhaps exactly where my flow problems were and I just couldnt spot it. That's also quite a relief, because I just didnt know where to start before now because I couldnt work out where the flow was off.

thank you so much for this review, Susan! I really appreciate your help and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

- Marina



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Review #9, by simi potter Witnessing Sin

19th February 2010:
It was a beautiful story...
Loved how you describe the characters
Good job 10/10
simi potter

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #10, by VampireKisses Witnessing Sin

19th February 2010:
Hey, Marina!! *hugs* So you want to know what I think, huh? :P

Your descriptions are damn beautiful, and that ethereal beauty about them is strengthened by the use of the present tense. You said you were afraid you rambled on in the description. The truth? Well, yes, just a little bit. I understand completely if you were trying to capture the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that stampeded Rose, but I have to admit, there were points where I kept getting out of focus with the story. Not to mention, your very first sentence...well, I don't want to say overdone because it's a beautiful, poetic way of saying she was getting drunk...at least that's what I'm assuming. And that is the problem for me at least - I can only suspect she was getting drunk. And, to be honest, I had a little reader's whiplash when I was reading that they were kissing and then BAM he forgot who he was doing the horizontal bop with. So watch for pace?

If you decide to edit this story, perhaps you should talk about what Rose and Teddy look like (well, I was just picturing Katy Perry and James MacAvoy...random, yes, but it would be nice to know what they look like) and moreover, go into TEDDY'S emotions a bit deeper. The story is in third person and I noticed you dipped into him a little bit near the end, but WHY did he do it? WHAT was he feeling with Rose? I think that would make the story stronger.

As for dialogue, I do think more wouldn't hurt. Because those two little pieces of dialogue spoken by Teddy seemed to drown in the ocean of (very beautiful) description. Have Rose speak, even if she's tongue tied. Dialogue makes a character breathe. Maybe using flashbacks would help. Like, when Rose is thinking of Hermione's and Victoire's reactions or how she always lusted after Teddy, show it. What made her fall in lust with him? Does she have a history of this that angers Hermione, makes Victoire jealous and protective? By the way, is Rose a Slytherin?

I LOVED how you interweave how the stars would be the only ones to bear witness to their sin. Those were my personal favorite lines. Where did you get the idea to do that?

I thought your characterization was fine, just a little fleshing out I think is all those two lustbirds need and you're golden ;)

You're an amazing writer, Marina!

Love,
Kristen

Author's Response: Hi Kristen :D

I must admit, I do love the present tense. Everything just seems to come more naturally that way. I was indeed worrying about rambling, so thank you very much for pinpointing where I need to watch out for it - I dont think capturing the whirlwind, as you put it, could work if you're getting out of focus with the story. I really want to keep the reader hooked so I'll be sure to go over it again and check out which bits need pruning and improving.

I think the problem was I hadnt decided whether Rose was drunk or not - I think I was leaning towards the more on the confident side of drunk rather than out of control. I'll be sure to clear that up and work on that opening sentence too! And as for pace, I have to agree with you. I was scared of that bit because, again, I was sure how they'd interact. So a bit of chicken on my part! Also... horizontal bop? I LOVE that phrase, it seriously made me laugh! I'll be adopting it from now on :D Anyway, will work on the pace and maybe use that point to flesh out their characters and history a bit more. And as for description of the characters themselves, I deliberately left out their descriptions because a) it was dark and b) I wanted things to happen fast and I'm not sure whether Rose would have noticed these things in the heat of the moment. Again, I'll go over it and check that that comes across a bit better.

The line about stars - I dont actually know where I got the idea from. Probably because it was night, and stars come out at night. So... nope, that doesn't explain it, but I can't think of anything else!

thanks so much for taking the time to review for me, Kristen - I really really appreciate it!


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Review #11, by PhilosopherPlaydoh Witnessing Sin

17th February 2010:
So...I really love this :) I like that it's kinda twisted without being the cliche angst that is sadly the norm for fanfiction. Unique pairing and really different concept for Rose. Very much so enjoyed the originality. Job well done! 10/10!

Author's Response: thank you ever so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #12, by SnitchSnatcher Witnessing Sin

15th February 2010:
MARINA MCG, THIS WAS FABULOUS.

I've always been extremely envious of your descriptive abilities - you are quite possibly one of the most talented descriptors I've ever encountered on HPFF or in the realm of fanfiction, if I'm being entirely honest.

Anyway, moving on!

I'm going to start with the very last thing: the not-so-happy ending. I ADORED it. I thought this was going to follow in the vein of a lot of other Teddy/Rose, but it didn't and I think that's why I love it so so so so much.

I think you've hit Rose's characterisation right on; she knows what she's wants to do/is about to do is wrong, but does it anyway if only to fulfill her selfish desires, and I love the flaw. It's very fitting not only for this piece, but for Rose herself. Perhaps it's because I've always imagined her as the selfish brat of an older sister, but whatever :P

My favourite line would have to be this one:
He hates her because she does not love him, because she enticed him into her tangle of lies.

All I can say is W-O-W. Talk about beautifully written.

GAH! I'm so envious of this - of all your pieces, really - that I can hardly talk, lol.

Great job, Marina, my dear! It was fantastic!

10/10

Author's Response: omg Molly McG!! You're talking nonsense, but it is lovely nonsense! *hugs* I dont know what to say, I'm overwhelmed and so flattered - you're so talented yoursellf, you know :P Just... THANK YOU. I never wanted it to be a happy ending because I hate them. So boring, bring on the angst :D xxx

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Review #13, by Rose_Weasley123 Witnessing Sin

14th February 2010:
I was stalking your author page yesterday, and I was just thinking how much I miss your writing -is not creepy and stalkerish-. And then, I log onto TGS, and I see that you have a new story. Not only that, but it is a Ted/Rose :D. You have no idea how happy this makes me.

Shall try to keep it short, as it is nearing midnight now. The description was GORGEOUS, as is usual for all your work. It makes me jealous, how wonderful it is :P.

The characterisation was the thing that intrigued me the most though. I've never seen Teddy or Rose done quite like this. Teddy more than Rose, as he's often paired with Dominique or Victoire as a cheating partner. Rose was more chilling than I've ever seen her before (excpet perhaps in Rin's 'The Hunted'.) I thought you described her relationship (if you can even call it that) with Teddy tp PERFECTION. It had such an interesting dynamic- Rose clearly held power over him. She was an absorbing character- completely unlikeable but at the same time something drew me to her.

I loved your idea of Teddy as being a weak character. It's an interpretation that works really well for this- again, he is intriguing rather than endearing.

The plot was short, yes, but clear and powerful. Nothing felt wasted- it had a lovely clarity to it, and it flowed really well. I think you did wonders with the plot and the ship- I know it is not a popular one, so there are no cliches, but you've really taken it in a new direction.

I shall not attempt to tease any hidden meanings from it, not because I don't want to but because I am tired.

Anyway, this was lovely, and I am once again astounded by your writing skills.

Author's Response: um... wow! I dont know what to say (as always), I'm just blushing like crazy. First of all, I can't believe anyone would bother stalking my author page :P That's a novelty in itself. Ted/Rose is a pairing I've been wanting to tackle for months but never got around to doing it. But here it is, and I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. thank you so much for reviewing, my dear!

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Review #14, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Witnessing Sin

14th February 2010:
-sigh-
I feel like I should feel something towards Rose. Hatred. Anger. Pity. I blame the fact that I don't like her for being completely indifferent to her.
Teddy - I am disappointed in him.

I wish I could capture these moments like you do. Some of your description is so effortless and enviable and I wish I found it as natural as you evidently do.

Urgh, I have nothing to say.
I love it.

♥ ♥ ♥
xx

Author's Response: thank you! you know I love you ♥

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Review #15, by spam_up_sam Witnessing Sin

14th February 2010:
Wow, brilliant writing, very dark and just a really interesting read =]
spam_up_sam

Author's Response: thank you very much!

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