8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by amy First Classes

2nd April 2010:
i have just finished your last chapter you have done wishing there were more to read i do hope you will continue with it, its a great story line thanks

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Review #2, by amy The Sorting of the Houses

2nd April 2010:
this is such a great idea of sirius grandson joining the school

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Review #3, by amy All Aboard The Hogwarts Express

2nd April 2010:
another really good chapter i am enjoying this

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Review #4, by amy London

2nd April 2010:
yet another good chapter its great

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Review #5, by amy Leaving Behind All You Know

2nd April 2010:
really enjoying this first chapter great story line

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Review #6, by JB London

22nd March 2010:
Dude, you read harry potter way too much. It sounds like I am reading harry potter, but with new characters.

You where kind of repetitive with your word choice at the beginning.

Why don't you use commas?

The story moves well, and i like the use of the black family and its history.

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Review #7, by jb Leaving Behind All You Know

21st March 2010:
O, does it take place after the harry potter series?

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Review #8, by JB Leaving Behind All You Know

21st March 2010:
Hey, I liked it, a good start. Here are some comments

The first line is a little cliche, but the next line is good.

Your first paragraph you use third and first person, you probably just want first person.

A few commas would be nice, just to organize sentences.

Overall there are a bunch of grammar problems. Fixing them will make the story read smoother.

Use something more magical then IPod (and they probably didnt have IPods when he went to school).

The plot line is good so far, felt like leaving to college.

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