i have just finished your last chapter you have done wishing there were more to read i do hope you will continue with it, its a great story line thanks Report Review
this is such a great idea of sirius grandson joining the school Report Review
another really good chapter i am enjoying this Report Review
yet another good chapter its great Report Review
really enjoying this first chapter great story line Report Review
Dude, you read harry potter way too much. It sounds like I am reading harry potter, but with new characters.
You where kind of repetitive with your word choice at the beginning.
Why don't you use commas?
The story moves well, and i like the use of the black family and its history. Report Review
O, does it take place after the harry potter series? Report Review
Hey, I liked it, a good start. Here are some comments
The first line is a little cliche, but the next line is good.
Your first paragraph you use third and first person, you probably just want first person.
A few commas would be nice, just to organize sentences.
Overall there are a bunch of grammar problems. Fixing them will make the story read smoother.
Use something more magical then IPod (and they probably didnt have IPods when he went to school).
The plot line is good so far, felt like leaving to college. Report Review
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