Reading Reviews for Serendipity
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by melian Department of Mysteries

8th August 2011:
Oh dear. First of all, I'm not sure that Hyacinth would be the world's best liaison officer, as it seems that personal relations and tact are not necesarily her strongest traits. So maybe it comes as no surprise that she didn't get that job. But yes, totally awkward that they bumped into each other in that situaion, especially if they had indeed broken up. Just what you don't want to happen, right?

Like I said I'm a little disappointed that this is the end, for the time being at least. I shall be sure to look out for updates in the future. :D

melian (gryffindor)

Author's Response: There will be updates in the future! I promise. Thanks once more for a great review, they always mean so much to me! You're wonderful, Melian!

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Review #2, by melian A Sticky End

8th August 2011:
Ah, rain in London. Why does that sound so famliar? :)

Much as I hate to say it, Hyacinth sounds rather demanding, to be honest. It does seem to be an odd relationship, to say the least, but if they are in fact a couple then I guess that sacrifices do need to be made. It's a really interestiing dynamic, though, and one that Hyacinth clearly dominates. I'm actually starting to feel rather sorry for Binns, even if I have trouble with the concept that his lessons were some of the best at Hogwarts. Was he more interesting when alive, or was this just the effects of (relative) youth on him?

In any case I'm most intrigued by this story and am rather disappointed that the next chapter is the last. I'll have to keep an eye out for updates. :D

melian (gryffindor)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review again! They are always wonderful. I'm glad you find their relationship intriguing, that was the whole point! Thanks so much for another great review, Melian!

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Review #3, by melian Vantage Point

8th August 2011:
I have to say, I still don't know who's narrating this story. A former Minister, obviously, but which one I have no idea. Oh well, I guess that will reveal itself later, right?

I love Binns being a redhead. I don't know if that's canon or not (I admit I never paid him much attention) but it really adds to his characterisation, as does the observation that he was prone to drop what he was carrying at the slightest distraction. I like that, it's a great little detail that really helps give him a personality.

I'm dying to know what Hyacinth found so offensive - the murder in her eyes surprised me, and as I've been reading a few whodunnits lately I very briefly thought it might have turned into one of those. Silly me! But maybe it will come out in the next meeting, which I hope will be in the next chapter ... that was such a tease, leaving this one off like that. Must now click on to see what happens!

melian (gryffindor)

Author's Response: Haha, yes it is an old Minister. A man past his prime who doesn't have much else to do. I'm really glad you keep reading, it always makes me happy to see. Thanks again for the wonderful review, Melian!

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Review #4, by melian Prologue

8th August 2011:
Sarah! Since you were so lovely to me last week I felt that the least I could do was give you a few reviews as part of Review Fest. And this is a lovely little story so far.

I really like your characterisation of Cuthbert Binns - a man bent on world domination via history. It's an interesting idea but I know just what you meant by it, and I commend you wording. Beautifully succinct and very effective.

I'm rather curious about Hyacinth, I must admit. An assistant to Ollivander would definitely be an interesting job, but as she never pursued History of Magic past OWLs I'm looking forward to seeing what they could have in common.

Onward I go!

melian (gryffindor)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the first chapter, and thank you so much for the review! It means a lot to me. I love getting reviews and this was no exception, Melian!!

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Review #5, by confusedlover Prologue

7th March 2010:
very lovely.

hey, it's me, confusedlover from the forums finally finding the time to get to the offer that i promised you sometime around a month ago.

i thought this was a fantastic start to a story. it's always hard to review prologues but i found this one in particular had just enough information in it without giving too much away. i always tend to make mine more elaborate than they have to be which is something i don't like about my writing but this one was just perfect in my opinion. you introduced the characters in a simply and efficient way and allowed for there to be room for wonderment, something that will make this story more appealing later on. as a reader i often love it when i can't tell where a story is going to go for the most part and this is one of those that i know hardly nothing about. seeing as this is simply the prologue that makes a bit more sense but either way, this is a fantastic sign in my opinion.

overall, i thought this was a great start to a story. you did a nice job of keeping the right pace for this and not forcing yourself to go further out with this when it only would have decreased it's affect. i am truly in love with your work and would love to continue offering my thoughts to you on your work if you like it as much as you seem to. either shoot me another PM when you update this or maybe i'll just be able to see that you updated on my favorites page. i wouldn't count too much on the later though. i have a lot of stories i am currently taking up and so i might just skip over some every now and then when i don't have enough time. if you remember, just PM me and i'd honestly love to review the next chapter for you.

have an amazing night (or day)!! i hope this review is better than any of mine you might have remembered considering this is only a 500 word prologue! keep up the great work!!

Author's Response: You know how to leave some of the best reviews, you know that? I can't even begin to respond to such a good review! You always make me smile and encourage me one and I'm just so happy that you thought everything is going well in this chapter ^_^ I'll get in contact with you soon seeing as its updated :P


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Review #6, by George Whitman Prologue

4th February 2010:
What happened? Please update soon. I like this minister. It's as though he is getting tired of being the minister so he writes about a love relationship between two old colleagues to save himself. I really like where your focus is here. I've never read a Binns story and you've used a great style in which to approach it.

Here's some things you may want to do to improve flow. Instead of, "For now, I might take this time to introduce the two now that I have everyone’s attention." you may want to change it to something like "Now that I have your attention, I might take this time to introduce the two." The current version is just a tad repetitive and it can be cut down.

In the fourth paragraph the last sentence could use some restructuring as well. This might be better, "Cuthbert was a well rounded man, he knew very little OF life lessons. I felt that this was one he had to learn." Since you used THEN in the sentence prior I cut it out. It reads much cleaner that way. The addition of the word OF helps you make your intended point much better. I broke the sentence into two because it is works better grammatically. Although if you were trying to make it sound more like a conversation between Horace and the reader then you may want to ignore the last bit.

I hope that my suggestions help. I really like the story so far and I'm very intrigued by what's to follow. Well done!

Author's Response: You'll soon find out :D And thats exactly whats happening! I'm so glad you caught onto that, because really I didn't make it obvious XD And goodness, I didn't even notice that! I have such a problem with repetition! I do it all the time without even noticing, so thank you for pointing that out to me. I was trying to make it sound like more of a conversation, but I can see your point, I'll try and think of a way to make it sound smoother! Thank you so much for your review, I'll definitely fix those grammatical errors when I get the chance.


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