The imagery was gorgeous. You have a way with words that makes ordinary description and thoughts blossom into something more than it really is. The ambiguity is especially intriguing. Just enough information is given to give the reader a sense and picture of what's going on but murky enough to force the reader to make their own conclusion. There weren't any glaring grammar mistakes, none that I could spot anyway. And written at 3am? Gotta give you props for the result. Great job!Author's Response: @_@ thank you so much! 3am is my time to write. it's weird. and i wonder why it's always that particular time. but hey, it is! thanks for looking it over for grammar! sometimes, that stuff really escapes me and i'm left staring at my computer like -_-;
personally, i love this one-shot, so it means a lot that you do, too :) ♥ thanks! Report Review
Ok, so I owe you another story review beause you came second in my 'Yuck that's so cliche' challenge. I chose this one because the title and summary stood out, and the amazing banner of course.
Ok, I've been holding this in for about five seconds so sorry if I sound on the brink of insanity when I say...
THAT WAS ABSOLUTLEY...
Why can I not write like you? Why? You honestly have a gift with writing- and you wrote this at three in the morning???
Have you ever considered writing as a profession because after reading that, it isn't hard to imagine you as a bestselling author, you could be making millions off of this talent.
The style of it as well, it was like unblemished poetry. How long have you actually been writing for could I just ask?
Oooh, also, I have a sneaky suspicion that this is a one shot linked to 'Becoming Molly', This is Dom right? Great, now I'm even more anxious to read more of that story.
Seriously, I'm nominating this in the next Dobby Awards, whenever that is.
Jane_VolturiAuthor's Response: YAY! You are correct! This in fact, is very much linking to "Becoming Molly". It'll be important later on! ^_^
Just, I don't know what to say! First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the compliments! Really. Just. Wow. *blush*
You're nominating this for a Dobby? I-I-I *speechless*.
This really, truly, just made my entire week! Thank you for your compliments and all your encouragement! You're wonderfuul ♥ Report Review
Amazing, I love it. Inspiration unfortunately hits me hardest when I'm about to go to fall asleep.Author's Response: Goodness me, thank you! I know what you mean. My brain wouldn't let me fall asleep until I had typed it all out on Word. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a review! It's greatly appreciated!
♥ Report Review
No, seriously, guess who this is?
Not important, moving on!
All I have to say is...wow! As always, you're writing is flawless. You've managed to convey so much pain and emotion in such a small piece...genius!
And she cries. Her heart aches without a reason to ache and she cries. The darkness creeps closer and closer until it reaches out an invisible hand and viciously grabs her by the throat.
And she's choking. She's choking on her lies; choking on the words she has scrawled upon a piece of parchment.
The room suddenly feels too small, too insignificant, too much; these sheets are too sticky, too warm, too rough. Her body writhes in protest.
She inhales – the air is stale with the stench of flowers. She exhales – why is her heart beating so fast? Again, she inhales, love? No, just the lingering scent of his cigarette. Ridiculous love. Ridiculous heart. Another exhale - if only she could take a knife to her chest to carve out this ridiculous organ that continues to beat at such a strange pace.
I do have one question, though: Is this about Dom? 'Cause in "Becoming Molly," you made Dom a writer and I was wondering if the woman depicted in this story was her. Either way, fabulous way!
P.S. Did you figure out who this is? It's Martha!! (just with a new name)
I can't wait to read more of your work! You're brilliant!!Author's Response: AH. MARTHA *massive glomps* I'VE MISED YOU. /attempt + fail at non-whiny voice. :P ♥
Thank you so much for the compliments! *blush* I literally wrote it in the middle of the night (or ridiculously early in the morning), so it didn't even compute to me what the heck I was writing for the longest time.
HEHE. Personally, I love the line about wanting to carve out her heart -- it just really sticks out.
*whispers* YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT WHO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. Very insightful, Martha! ;) However, people can feel free to imagine her to be somebody else ~*~
I WAS HOPING THAT IT WAS YOU ^-^ THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE FABULOUS, KOBE-BRYANT-ESQUE REVIEW, LOVE!
♥ Report Review
It was brilliant, you expressed so much in so little space. Really great stuff, and lovely writing. Makes me want to read whatever else you've written =]
spam_up_samAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Such compliments really make my day! ♥ Report Review
I really enjoyed this! I love second person stories, especially little short ones like this. I think you did a beautiful job with both the narration and descriptions. It was such a lovely little read. I also enjoy that we never really knew who you this girl was. It has a nice little element of mystery that give a whole new dimension to it! Lovely job!Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed this. I have a very clear idea of who the girl is, but if people don't wish for me to reveal it - I won't. :) I'm really glad that this ended up working out, because it's very different from my usual writing style. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review! Report Review
Personally, I thought it was stunning. A snapshot of part of someone's world with no names mentioned; anyone and no one featured. Part of me says Nymphadora, another Hermione. I can't quite decide whether it's an OC. In fact, I prefer it to be someone nameless/faceless. All I have is the eyes you described as full of tears, and pasty skin.
And it's most definately enough.
xEAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you like this slightly spontaneous, written at 3 or 4 AM, grammar-mistake-riddled drabble. I also, like the fact that it's anonymous, even though I have a clear image in my head of who it is. However, seeing as each person likes to keep their own image of who the girl is, I'll just keep it unknown and mysterious.
Thanks for taking the time to drop by and leave a review! ^_^ Report Review
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