Love it! Its so like them to ask if they want to lick the plate clean. I was in a mood for a cute fred and george one shot and this was exactly what i was looking for. However i was a little confused with the times and ages. I dont believe Percy to be a prefect until Harrys year and i think Tonks woud be a little older than 5th year but that wasnt bothersome. Otherwise the story was wonderful and full of fun! Report Review
Very Cleaver and well done. I loved Percy. and Gred and Forge. And Tonks. And Charlie. Well actually I just loved the whole story :) Report Review
Love it! Everyone is TOTALLY in character!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think so. ^_^ Report Review
HAhahahahaah! That was great! I love the idea of the twins offering Snape the plate to lick afterwards! Percy wasn't a prefect in the twins' first year though, as he was only in third year. Still, I loved it!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Oh my goodness, you're absolutely right about Percy...I have no idea how I didn't catch that. I'll edit it so he acts like a prefect and they joke about him being one, but he isn't actually one yet.
Thanks again! :-) Report Review
Ha ha, ah, that's odd. I thought I would have left a review on this before as I have read it, and I even favorited it. However, it seems that I haven't. So I'll remedy that.
Despite the lack of any massive plot bunny going on, I really liked this. It was simple and it was cute.
Fred and George seemed spot on as far as characterization go, but I do think that (sometimes) they seemed a bit too much of the same person. I know that they're identical twins, but there are subtle differences. Fred is the ring leader and crueler, where as George's jokes are mostly about himself rather than poking fun, at others. Though, I could easily see both twins mocking Severus.
Because I feel that if I were at Hogwarts, he might not still be my favorite character! xP Because, of course, the students don't know as much about him as we do - and they probably didn't care that he was simply misunderstood and hurt.
I also adore that you included Tonks! What little part she played in this, definitely fit in canon. She did say that her HOH would have never made her a Prefect because she lacked the ability to behave herself.
I loved Percy fearing for his life, too. That was hilarious.
So as you can probably tell from all of my gushing, I really liked your characterizations. I think you got them spot on, and whilst Sev is my favorite, you had me cracking up at what happened to him. Oh, poor Severus - you are so easy to torture.
As far as spelling, grammar, and syntax are concerned I didn't pick up on anything glaringly obvious that needed correcting. So great job there!
I really enjoyed this light read!
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank again for another great review! :)
I do see what you're saying about Fred and George--at the time that I wrote this, I honestly didn't know how to separate them, I hadn't realized that Fred was more of the ringleader yet. So I am planning to go back through this at one point and give Fred the more leading lines.
Oh yes, Snape's my favorite character as well and like you, I doubt I'd like him as much if I were a student. :P And he really is just so misunderstood, the poor fellow. :(
I'm glad you liked Tonks! I've always felt that she played a hand in...shaping the twins, as she did attend Hogwarts with them. And oh yes, again, while I do love him, Snape's far too easy to poke fun at. :-)
Thanks again for the great review! Report Review
Schoenemaedchen here with another review, just for you :)
What a cute and extremely fun one-shot! I like that you've been able to take a small moment from the lives of Fred and George and present it so entertainingly :)
I did enjoy this one shot. I also like how you've worked Tonks and Percy into the story. Characterization is certainly not your weakness, you are really spot on with all here.
I also found your dialogue to be very well written and for it to be very natural in interactions from one person to the next.
And eating Chocolate Cake the first day of Potions Class...so very Fred and George...not to mention the line they offer him at the end.
The only thing I didn't quite understand was the end of the story. It felt a bit rushed and I didn't quite understand what Percy was shrieking about. Was it a delayed reaction? I think one or two more sentences or some sort of clarification would do your end so much more justice!
Thanks for the joyful read!
-schoenemaedchenAuthor's Response: First, thanks for the bonus review. :)
I'm thrilled that you say that the characterization is good, because that's one part of writing that I really enjoy--getting into the character's minds and trying to portray them correctly.
Fred and George did get a head start on the years of pranking to come, didn't they? Of course, Tonks had her own hand in that. ;)
Yes, Percy's craziness (in that instance, at least...) was a delayed reaction. I've been told by another reviewer that the end was a little confusing, so I'll clear it up soon for sure.
Thank you again! Report Review
:-) Excellent, and very funny :-) I also never considered the fact that Tonks might be at Hogwarts when some of the older Weasleys were... great food for thought. Chocolate-flavoured thought :-)Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yup, according to the timelines, Tonks was at school when all Weasleys but Ron and Ginny were. Chocolate-flavoured thought...what an interesting idea...;) Report Review
I loved it. It was a fresh take. I never thought of Tonks at Hogwarts. Interesting. Anyway thanks for a good read.
P.S If you get the chance please read and review my story Sweet Irony. PLEASE!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the review! I always figured that Tonks would be a "mentor", so to speak, to the twins. ;)
And I'll be sure to check out your story for you. :) Report Review
This is very amusing!!! Although i would expect a little more from the twins. Eating a plate of cake in Potions class isn't that spectacular. But still very good!!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Yes, it's a tad tame, but Tonks didn't want to get them in TOO much trouble their first week at Hogwarts. ;) Report Review
Hey, it's me from the forums, finally getting your much deserved review for entering my challenge! Sorry I'm so slow about it!
Wow! What a fun story! I'm sure I don't need to tell you that I love the twins, and it's always fun to read about their first exploits at school before they had earned their name as the Best Troublemakers.
I really liked how you had them interacting with Tonks here. I never thought of Tonks taking the twins under her wings and helping them learn to do good pranks. Can you imagine the rant Molly would have given Tonks in OotP if she's found out about that? Hehehehe.
The names Tonks kept calling Percy were very funny as well. Poor Percy, always trying to look out for his younger brothers and keep them on the straight and narrow and them never listening. Lol.
Now, eating cake in Snape's class? WOW, that's bravery! I do hope they weren't having to clean that bathroom with toothbrushes for that one!
Once again, thanks for a great story! It was so much fun to read! And thanks for entering the contest! I hope you write more Fred and George stuff in the future!Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
I'm glad you liked their friendship with Tonks -- I figured out the dates, and found it highly unlikely that she wouldn't have given them a few pointers. And, oy! The wrath of Molly would be a sight to behold. ;)
Yup, they were cleaning the bathroom on the orders of Snape! Poor guy doesn't have any pity -- really, what is wrong with enjoying a little cake? xD
Aw, thank YOU for the review! Fred and George were hilarious to write, so I'm sure I'll be returning to them later on. Report Review
Hello there. Sorry this took so long!
Well this was a funny cute little one-shot. I liked how you had Tonks in school with the twins and taking them under her wing. The way that each of them acted was so funny. The way they talked and such. It was cute.
Now the little prank was funny, the beginning of many to come! Thats for sure. The only thing that I was a bit confused about was the very last part in the bathroom. I didn't quite understand it all the way. Could you explain it a little? I think I might be looking into it a little too much lol.
I think you did a good job though hun. Not too short but not too long. Very quirky and cute.Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
I'm very glad you liked the interaction between them! It was fun to write.
*goes back to reread the end*
Huh. To be honest, I don't get the end either. The twins are serving their detention cleaning the bathroom, Tonks pops her head in to say hi, and Percy walks by -- he's afraid that the twins got a detention after all, which is true. I don't remember what the last line was there for, though, unless I meant that the twins still had the cake plate with them and they were 'offering' it to him. I did write this and submit it in one night to make a challenge deadline (which ended up fizzling out anyway), so I might have left a thing out or two. Thanks for pointing it out -- I'll go back and clear it up a bit.
Thanks again! Report Review
I like it! Continue soon?Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Unfortunately, though, I wrote it as a stand-alone, it's a one-shot. Report Review
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