First of all! Because of you I will be singing "In the Jungle, welcome to jungle, watch it bring to your kn kn kneees" alll day!
Anyway, I have to start by saying that I am not a huge fan of Sirius Remus slash. Not because I don't like slash, because I do! Only because Sirius is my bad boy soul mate. And because of where it would leave Tonks. But this was written beautifully enough for me not to get too jealous that my soul mate was kissing someone else.
This is so full of beautiful lines and imagery that I truly don't know where to start. The picture is incredibly clear and vivid, and just that sense of heartbreak all the way through.. gah. Remus knows it will happen. Maybe it's because he knows Sirius's reckless nature, he knows how sensitive how own heart is... I really can't see Sirius ever opening up about his relationship to anyone, so I'm sure that factors in on the ways Remus and Sirius could tear each other apart.. ahh the possibilities!
At first I was second guessing my positiveness that it was Sirius and Remus. But I assumed it must be because it couldn't be James and Sirius... because you know Lily and James are my OTP and I would have gotten you in big trouble for writing something that involved James breaking Lily by having this relationship behind her back... you're lucky ;). Anyway, when I read the 'Remus, I love you,' line, I did my own little 'I was right' fist pump.
Sometimes you need to simmer. LOVE IT. I. Love. It. Because it's so true! If every encounter was fast and passionate and wild and over, well, that doesn't leave any room for really loving one another. And you made me feel like the wanted room for that in this, it was incredibly beautiful.
I love that you were careful to stay behind the line of trashy. It was absolutely erotic, but it didn't make me feel like I was watching a you know what. I do think you succeeded in keeping it classy. My very favorite part is how well you tied in the emotions to their relationship. What they're doing isn't an act of anger that turns into lust, it's a big mass of feels that explode onto each other because they really do care.
Like I said, this slash pairing is harder for me, but you did it so exquisitely that even my own bias didn't take away from it. And when I read slash, I usually read female (thanks to Amanda I have a new obsession with thinking Daphne and Pansy end up together) so this was a really fun change. Instead of meadows of soft skin, there was scratchy stubble and hard chests.
Honestly Shelby, I think it's time to admit that with your writing style... I think you could write anything and I'd love it. You just have a way to truly turn something into a beautiful piece that I have to be apart of even for just the ten or so minutes it takes me to read it.
♥Author's Response: Jami! You are killing me, you know that? You are literally just making me go all gushy mushy because you are /so/ sweet to me!
I'm not a fan of slash either - I just wanted to try something new, I suppose - I didn't want to rule out slash in case it turned out to be my kind of thing. I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves Sirius! Oh, I do love that man (who cares that he's fictional - ADORE him)!
Oh yes, you know I can't ever write anything happy! And whatever I write, I've got to give the story enough description and imagery to sink the Titanic! I've always said Remus was very intuitive and in-touch with his emotional side, and perhaps other people's, because he's been through such emotional turmoil - it makes him sensitive to that sort of thing.
I would have NEVER done a James/Sirius. Never. James & Lily are meant to be (that means NO Snape/Lily!) - I think there's always a possibility for Remus/Sirius even though Remus isn't gay, as we know. Sirius (as much as we idolize him), well, it isn't certain. Anyway! :D
I'm glad you really got that! Sometimes you've just got to put it on simmer. I think it's definitely true to life!
Oh yeah, I try to stay away from the trashy. Granted, I've always considered writing those trashy romance novels (they're my secret love) - but this deserved something tasteful. And as for emotions in their relationship, that's a big one of me as a writer and personally. I don't care what anyone says, a physical relationship takes some sort of toll on your emotional state of being.
I'm glad this was okay for you! I know it's not easy to read slash - it wasn't easy to write! - but thank you for being so open!
You're too dang sweet to me! It just astounds me that you like my writing so much! I just can't comprehend it! Thank you so much, darling!
Well I must say that this is one of the first slash oneshots that I have read but I think that you have done it rather tastefully. At no point did it ever seem like too much for me to read. I couldn't spot any errors in this either so great job on that. I really liked your Remus and Sirius, they were both very playful and familiar with each other and it was really nice to see. I loved how you ended it, with Remus wanting to tell Sirius that he loves him but Sirius beats him to it. I thought it was rather sweet. I thought you did a great job with description with this oneshot as well so great job on that. Altogether, this was a cute oneshot about Remus and Sirius being together romantically and being happy and in love together. Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Oh my goodness, another review! Thank you so much!
I hope this lived up to any expectation you might have had about slash! :D I'm glad you thought it was tasteful because that's what I tried to go for. I think that things like this should be done subtly, especially in fanfiction. I'm also just over the moon that you liked my Remus and Sirius. If it's one thing I worry about, it's keeping my characters in-character, especially since we know so much about them from JKR, unlike other minor characters.
Thank you so much for another great review! I so appreciate it! :)
Shelby Report Review
This was interesting, in a good way. I'm not much of a slash fan, but I wanted to see what this was about. I liked Remus's random rambles, how he kept distracting himself, then jumping back into the moment. In some places the narration and ideas were a little confusing to follow (especially at the beginning), but otherwise I enjoyed it.Author's Response: You know, I'm not a slash fan either, but I really wanted to open up my boundaries, really. I'm glad you decided to continue! Haha, it's actually one big ramble, to be honest. You see, I write stream of consciousness, and so that's probably why it was so confusing (I apologize for that). Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I hope you enjoyed it and I really appreciate it! :)
Shelby Report Review
Wow. Just wow. I'm so glad I read this! It was really quite a captivating read! I rarely read slash, though I have nothing against it. I've got to say though, Remus/Sirius is probably the most common pairing that I've read. I really liked how errm, 'intense' this was, hehe.
Especially as it is your first slash, it's a really well written fic. I loved all the feelings and Remus' thoughts during it! It was just a really good read! I liked how Remus kept repeating Sirius' name throughout it and it wasn't until the end that we found out it was Remus, which made the story more intriguing while I was reading. Great writing!
- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)Author's Response: Why, thank you! I didn't know where I was going to go with the pairing, actually. I wanted it to be familiar characters, not obscure. I was worried about the intensity, actually. I didn't want this to be trashy - I wanted a little class, you know?
Thank you, again! I do hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for the review! Report Review
Wow, steamy! Very hot indeed, haha.
I don't read Sirius/Remus very often, but I'm glad I read this. It definitely had the romance factor, but it also showed the emotional side of it; that Remus realized that even though he loved him, he knew that the relationship that they had would lead them to heartbreak down the line.
I also am very impressed that you wrote something this great on your first try at slash! I don't read slash very often, but this is one of my favorites that I've come across.
Very nice job,
Ronsgirl29 (Gryffindor)Author's Response: It made me blush to write this piece, so I hope it was steamy, in a classy way, of course!
I felt that I needed to expand my boundaries a little bit and just jump into slash. I wanted to show the love and the passion, not just the -err- lusty part of it, you know? For me, this kind of thing happens often with friends of the same sex. I've seen it happen with a lot of my personal friends, so I wanted to translate it into words!
Thank you so much for the lovely review! Report Review
Shelby, sorry this took me so long darling! Computer crash. URGH
This is great! Especially since you've never written slash before. I'm not a huge Remus/Sirius fan, but this was lovely. Very tender and very them. Great story! I've honestly not got any criticism. It's just lovely.
ShilohAuthor's Response: I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond! Do forgive me!
Thank you so much! Slash is a heady thing, so it's good to know you think I pulled it off decently!
Shelby Report Review
i enjoy reading something new, and this was definitely new to me. i've read some slash here and there but it's still one of those areas of fanfiction that i have to get used to. but that's why i didn't ban it in my review thread. it's interesting to see how things pan out and what can go wrong. thanks for bringing this story to my attention!
overall, i thought this story made perfect sense. Remus and Sirius actually seem like one slash pairing that works and so i had a wonderful time reading this one-shot. you know i love your work and i surely wish you the best of luck with all of your present and future writing. remember: there is no such thing as abusing my review thread. (:
i hope your weekend is off to a great start!!Author's Response: Slash is definitely something that I have never really read as well. I have read bits and pieces from reviewing, but I have never really gone on a reading frenzy. I personally don't like to ban things from my review thread [when I have one] because I feel that you never know what might pop up!
I was worried if this would make sense to some readers. I am glad it made sense for you! Slash is actually hard to write, for me, at least - I didn't know how I was going to present what I wanted to say. I didn't want to do something super trashy and it was quite complicated. It absolutely floors me that you like my writing. Like, seriously. I just can't imagine that anyone can like anything that I pen down! It's crazy! Not saying you're crazy! See, I start talking in circles!
Thank you so much for the fantastic review! I appreciate it so much, as always! Your reviews delight me and please remember, I love criticism and if you ever have any, lay it on me!
Shelby Report Review
I loved this fanfiction!
I seem to have an obsesison with Sirius/Remus fanfictions recently - and this was a really good one :D
11/10Author's Response: Thank you!
Well then, I'm glad I decided to write a Sirius/Remus!
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hey! Here from the forums, with your review. (:
Firstly, I adore slash xD. I don't get it requested enough, which is why I'm glad you did. (:
Okay. Now onto actual comments.
I loved the line "I know that some like it hot." I like how you repeated it, and how it kind of contrasts with the title, just a bit. (:
Secondly. I love, love, LOVE your description. I'm horrid at it, and I always respect authors that can write it with your fluidity. So, great job on that. Really. :D It made the entire story that much more enjoyable to read.
And that romance. :D I love Remus/Sirius! :D Favorite slash pairing, methinks... I love your portrayal of them, of them kind of switching out of the 'regular roles' many fanfic writers place on them. And it was sexy (can I say sexy in a review?) without being overly graphic (Had to mention; I've read more then a few blogs about NC17 stuff. Sorry. ;D)
There really wasn't anything that I disliked about it. I loved the pacing, the flow, the entire thing. You really did a great job with this. (: The only thing I would say, is that it was quite short, but the entire thing was very nice.
And by the way, I adored the ending. (: It was sweet, romantic. Really nice. (:
Sorry there's no concrit, but I honestly couldn't find anything I didn't like!
-JasmineAuthor's Response: Hi Jasmine! Thanks for reviewing, first off!
You love slash? To be honest, it is definitely growing on me after writing this piece!
That is one of my favorite lines! There is so much meaning behind it, not just in a sexual manner, so I'm glad you liked it!
Description? Oh, thank you! It's the one area where I know I'm really strong, sometimes I think I write too much, really.
To be honest, I didn't know who to pick. I loved the thought of Sirius, but didn't know who he would go with, so I finally decided on Remus. Such a great pairing, and so fun to write! The NC-17 stuff just kills me! I tried to keep it mature without it being overly ridiculous, ya know?
Everyone always says that about my stuff...they didn't find anything, except it was too short. I'm sorry it was so short and you didn't get to read anymore! But, thank you so much for the review, I appreciate more than you can know! :]] Report Review
Oh no, I make you cry? :-( That makes me feel like a very mean person. This review should hopefully cheer you up, but I didn't write a nicer review just to make you feel better. I connected with this piece better than I did with the Lysander one (though I have to say, you have a knack for letting stories end with a bang).
True, the Marauders are my least favorite, but I come across some good ones now and then. And actually, I don't mind slash at all. :-) (I even read femmeslash, a line I knew some reviewers draw even if they read slash.) I see what you mean now when you wrote under pairings that to say would give it away. The whole time I was wondering, "Is it Remus or is it James?"
Anyway. I don't actually have anything brutal to say about this story, lol. It was rather erotic, definitely deserving its Mature rating, but I found it tasteful. Your description throughout the piece (not only of the romantic parts) was detailed enough that the scene can be imagined without any problem, while refraining from the temptation to describe every little speck of dust in the setting.
I am a little confused why Remus was convinced that he and Sirius were heading for heartbreak . . . is there something specific they anticipate happening? Or is that supposed to reference to what I picked up in the beginning, that Sirius isn't exactly out of the closet, even to himself sometimes?
I don't see this as a big problem though, because this piece seems meant to exist in its own little bubble, like Remus and Sirius are doing during the half hour or however long this story spans.
If I had been writing this (not that I'm an expert writer . . . hardly), I probably would have given Remus a little different voice than you did and maybe played up his wolfish tendencies slightly, but he's a minor character, which means we can all take a slightly different angle on him, you know?
Overall, good work. I'm impressed for your first slash piece and for writing a tasteful M-rated scene. There was nothing that stuck out to me as being stronger or weaker than the rest. This piece flowed well with a consistent feeling from top to bottom.Author's Response: Please, don't feel like a mean person, you really aren't. The only reason I told you that your reviews make me cry (sometimes) was so that you would understand why I keep coming back to you for reviews.
I do like to end stories with a bit of a bang, I'll admit :] It's a weakness I have as a writer and I just can't resist it.
Oh, I wasn't sure if you liked slash or femmeslash. I personally love to read both, but I've never attempted either.
Nothing brutal? Honestly, I'm totally shocked! I was expecting you to rip this to shreds and then stomp on it for good measure. But either way, I'm delighted :] I love description and often times it is difficult to know when to stop, so I'm glad that I described just enough!
Oh, very good, Alopex. Sirius isn't exactly out of the closet, so that's the headed for heartbreak description thing going on there. I wondered if anyone would catch that xD
You have a very good point there. I actually never thought about bringing out Remus's wolfish tendencies. But, in truth, we will truly never know how Remus would have acted in that situation, so perhaps...well, I just might do a bit of editing.
Alopex, I thank you for the brutally honest review. Your reviews always keep me grounded and as I've said before, I've only been writing for two years and I've got a LONG way to go. Thank you for the review! Report Review
I just met you, and thought I'd come check out some of your works. Anyway, I thought this was really well done, and you did a good job with your foray into slash. The language of it, while elusive, was quite nice and painted a very clear picture of the dynamics of their relationship if not an explicit image of the scene--which, in my mind, is preferable anyway. Short, but well done!Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for dropping by! Wow, I don't know quite what to say to such an insightful review! Slash is definitely difficult to write, so I hope I managed to pull it off with some degree of maturity. Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
OMG Pretty intense, love the use of RL/SB.
Love that couple.
Great job.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed! Report Review
Wow, I feel a little hot and bothered right now lol.
That was really passionate.
&A surprise. As I was reading I kept guessing who they were. When I found out it was Sirius, I have to admit I didn't think it was him at first. &After that I realized that there were about 3 choices the other person would be. One of which I really really didn't want to picture lol.
But it was still a surprise when Sirius said his name. Sirius and Lupin? Wow. You know the part that made me chuckle was about the kiss. I soo agree, I don't like it when people kiss just anybody. Its a intimate thing lol.
I think you wrote this perfectly, really its hard to write a slash like this. &You gave just enough detail. You've got skill! But of course I already knew this. Your stories are so darn original &so surprising. I love reading them!
Make sure to stop by my thread for any other story you have I would love to read them =)
Excellent Job!Author's Response: Hot and bothered? To be honest, all slash stories make me feel that way! :PPP
I wanted to keep an air of mystery up about Sirius for just a bit, just to keep the ball rolling, as it were.
Sirius and Lupin, yes. That about kissing, straight from the heart, that is. I feel that intimate things of that nature shouldn't be flaunted about here and there.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback, that's why I'm always on your review thread. Please, feel free to say no if you don't want to read anything of mine! But I do hope this was a decent slash, as it was my first. Once again, thank you! :]]] Report Review
i enjoyed your short story it comes across as very passionateAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :]] Report Review
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