That was written so well, it was written as though it was dark and haunting but it was more sad and sweet like you wanted to give Snape a hug but then hit him for the dark mark. I love how everything tied in so well with the memory and Harry. It was a mixture with Snape, like he was proud to know that they hated him or were afraid of him but at the same time he didn't want them to be. His characterisation was great. 10/10
Lilypotterfan123, GryffindorAuthor's Response: hey! Thanks so much for the review! Im not used to writing Snape so it really makes my day to hear that people enjoy my characterisation of him! I also dont write this genre either so im glad to hear you thought i did a good job! And 10/10? I dont think thats deserved but thank you SO much! :)
Ladybella. Report Review
Awww. This was so touching and generally lovely to read. I did notice a few grammatical errors:
I seen a flicker of doubt in Lily’s eyes This should be I saw. The same with the time I seen Lily Evans eyes. However, this didnt really take away from how touching the story was. Snape was very much in character, which is something that you should be very proud of- many people make him OOC. I loved the conversation between the two. I could see that it probably broke his heart. However, in all honesty, as much as I adore Lily/Sev, Lily and James were practically made for eachother. The kiss was so sad. Sev had some hope that she had kissed back, so it was so sad that the last time he saw Lily's eyes, they were full of hate... Poor Sev :(
But a really touching fic :)
Leanne (leannemariesnape, Hufflepuff)Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review!
I wrote this for a challenge that im very proud to say came first place, I was asked to write a Lily/Sev pairing and as Snape is not one of the characters I would normally write I am so pleased to hear people like my characterisation of him!
Spelling and grammar is by far my biggest weakness! I think I tend to rush evrything I write which may be the cause of this so it's great for me that people point out where I am going wrong so I can try and remember that for future notice so thank you!
Im glad you enjoyed this and thank you so much for the wonderful review! You are inspiring!
Ladybella. Report Review
A great story, really emotional. I feel so sorry for Severus.
However, you need to get for tences right, for example,
Was a haunting reminder of the last time I ever seen Lily Evans eyes. - incorrect
Was a haunting reminder of the last time I ever saw Lily Evans eyes - CorrectAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
This story is great, you're really creative and the story is so emotional!Author's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
Hey! It's EvelynCullen from the challenge and I'm here to review your story! Sorry it took me almost a week to get to, but I was really busy with school and everything but here I am!
I loved this story. There are simply no other words for it. The way you portrayed the characters was just magnificent! It's hard sometimes for people to write characters in their younger years, they don't usually hold true to the character that is seen in the books, but you did a fabulous job of portraying Snape and Lily for that matter!
I really liked your description of it all too. The way Snape described Lily, you could just see a perfect image of her. Not only that, but the way you described the events was like a movie was playing right in front of you. Great job!
I could definitely picture Snape going to Lily on the day of her wedding and foolishly begging her not to be with the man she loves. That was an excellent idea! I love Lily's reaction to it also. She didn't just slam the door in his face the moment she saw him and not even let him have a word. She listened to him and that is something I can really picture her character doing. Once again, great job with characteristics! You're a really good writer and you've got a good chance of winning this challenge! I'll let you know the results as soon as I finish reading everyone else's stories! Good luck and great story!!
Clair/Evelyn :DAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! :) Report Review
This story is excellent!Author's Response: wow! This was my first attempt at anything without humor and writting from Snape's POV so the fact someone enjoyed it means so much!
Thank you for taking the time to read and review! :) your inspiring. Report Review
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